


Can You See Me..? (The Beginning)

by Shinhia



Series: Can You See Me..? [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alpha Derek Hale, Alternate Universe - Photographer, Beta Derek Hale, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Healing Stiles, Knotting, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Mates, Model Stiles, Mpreg, Nudity, Photographer Derek, Romance, Sexual Content, The Darkness - Freeform, Top Derek Hale, Werewolf Healing, Werewolf Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-17
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2017-12-29 17:22:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 100,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1008059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinhia/pseuds/Shinhia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles could feel it all unravelling, he needed a distraction. Derek was gone, could Stiles find him? After months of research, Derek has returned to Beacon Hills and Stiles is about to ask him the most important question of his life.</p><p>Will Derek say yes or no?</p><p>If yes, they are about to start an incredible journey of discovery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back In Town.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xWiickedx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xWiickedx/gifts), [Newtreasureseekers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newtreasureseekers/gifts).



> So I had this small idea of a one-shot nagging me for quite a few long weeks, and then I thought 'Ok. Let's do it, baby.” ; And the one-shot I thought would be quick to write and easily finished turned out to be a new fanfiction, with multiple chapters and not near to be finished... Seriously, I see the end of it but it's far, far away in the future. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy reading this and tell me what was your thoughts, feelings... 
> 
> **A/N 1 :** Neither of the show or characters belongs to me, all are the property of MTV and Jeff Davis. Only the others are MINE.
> 
>  **A/N 2 :** English is not my mother tongue, I'm belgian and speaks french, so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes left. Even though, this work is beta-ed.
> 
>  **A/N 3 :** I dedicate this fic to my favorite canadian girls, Darcy and Lisa,. They inspire me everyday and without them this work wouldn't be this important and amazing to my eyes. I want to thank them for their constant help, comments and advices, for the hours Darcy spent reading and reading all the chapters to correct them, for Lisa to be my second secret agent in finding the smallest errors... All in all, THANK YOU so much girls. I LOVE YOU!

 

 

Derek's return to Beacon Hills was silent and unnoticed, just like when he had left six months ago after the crazy night that was the lunar eclipse.

 

During those _(long, but he would never admit that aloud)_ months, Stiles had at first tried to ignore that Derek had once again played the douche part, leaving without saying thanks or goodbye. Stiles was used to his personality, so he shouldn’t be hurt by his behavior. That didn't mean he was okay with ' _Sourwolf_ ' deliberately ignoring him.

So yeah, at first he tried to play it cool, like he didn't care, and he lasted about a month before his curiosity slowly ate away at his resolve, making him act. He _needed_ to know where Derek was, so he started what would rapidly turn into _massive_ amounts of researches, including getting help from Danny for the more obscure ways of finding informations. And what he found out... No, he certainly wasn't expecting that. Not at all!

_'Well'_ , he had thought, _'that explained a lot. Like the crazy ass Camaro, the loft,'_ which Stiles had fallen in love with at first visit, _'and also all the leather jackets and tight, designer jeans.'_

Derek -I'm a grumpy Sourwolf- Hale, had money, _way_ more money, than Stiles had thought and was fudging famous too.

Derek was a freaking famous photographer!

 

He'd started his career back when he lived in New York with Laura and most of his work was nude photography, a good number of them being borderline homo-erotic pieces. And if that wasn't crazy enough, Stiles was so freakishly addicted to Sourwolf's pictures, it left a weird feeling of need in his stomach. He just... Adored them!

For the last four and a half months -initially finding Derek had taken him almost a whole damn month- Stiles had googled, Tumblred, tweeted, and scoured Facebook and the internet like crazy to find more of Derek's work. There was so much talent, so much sensibility and fragility in those pieces, and just that tiny bit of the great sorrow that was Derek, that Stiles had become a true fan of the artist that was his Sourwolf; and yes he could totally call Derek _**'His Sourwolf'**_ , cause he had put the copyright on that the instant it had slipped out of his mouth.

By losing himself in Derek's art Stiles had found a way to forget, if only just for a moment, about the darkness around his heart. This new passion, because it had become one, was his way to stay sane and hold on to the ropes of life without losing himself in the obscurity and despair that was slowly eating away at him.

He looked, watched, studied the pictures, trying to understand who Derek really was. He tried to understand how, after having lived through all the disasters, the loss and the pain, this damaged soul could still find such beautiful clarity and a shuddering empathy in a world that had tried to kill him so many times before.

Slowly, Stiles had started to fall for the artist that was _Darhel Kee_. Fall for the way Darhel saw the world and tried to describe it, tell it in his pictures, his words taking the forms of people, places, blurs, shadows, edges, different shades of light and curves of body shapes and unknown faces. And also started falling for the man he knew hid behind that pseudo.

Stiles felt connected to the world of Darhel Kee; he felt something stir and start to beat, like a beating heart inside of him every time he lost himself in the contemplation of those pieces. The want, the need to see Derek again growing each day and each hour he spent trying to reveal the secrets hidden in the man's pictures.

This is what led him to want Derek back. Stiles was shocked into silence at the realization that he missed Derek. He missed the older man more than he thought he _could_ miss him. The intensity of the hole Derek had left being such an overwhelming feeling Stiles hadn't been prepared for. He had struggled hard to understand his feelings and to make the effort to start living with them.

So yes, he wanted to see Derek again, wanted to feel the man's presence in Beacon Hills, even if a mile separated them. He wanted him to come back because he wanted to understand the man, wanted to start from zero again and get to know Derek Hale as much has he wanted to get to know Darhel Kee.

Mostly though, Stiles wanted to become one of Derek/Darhel's pieces. He wanted to be touched by his gaze, wanted to know and see what he really was through the eyes of someone else, the eyes of Derek Hale. Stiles wanted to become the man's next piece of artwork; he wanted all the black and whites, the sepias and the grays, the blurs and colorful bright pictures but also the nudes and the much more intimate shots he knew the artist in Derek liked to portray.

 

This is how, and why, he found himself parked in front of Derek's loft, hands shaking on the steering wheel and his breath a quaky sound in the silence of his Jeep. He only had one chance at this, and damn, but he was afraid to blow it like he usually blew his chances in most cases.

He wanted to turn around and leave. But no, this was too important to give up without even trying just because he feared not being able to make Derek understand how important this experience was for him. Because he afraid not being able to explain how essential it was to lose himself in this and be able to forget all the rest, forget that a part of himself was desperately trying to eat the alive side of his human heart. And also, he was afraid Derek wouldn't get how he secretly needed this experience to get in touch with someone, to feel connected with someone other than Scott or his dad, how he craved the connection he knew being Derek's model would give him. He knew deep down this would be the most incredible experience in his life.

Yes, he needed that breath of fresh air that only Derek Hale could offer him, and he couldn't wait any longer to get it when he knew the man was there, in his loft alone and so close to his touch. He hoped Derek would understand and be willing to share that breath of fresh air he knew the man needed too, even if he kept it secretly hidden in his heart. Stiles had studied enough of the man's work to at least understand that much.

Breathing in deeply, he exhaled slowly, opened his car door then climbed out, his keys jingling in his right hand. He crossed the street and reached the entrance door to Derek's building. With shaking fingers he tapped in the code to open the door, he hadn't forgotten it even after six months. He entered the entrance hall, his feet leading him directly to the elevator, and still shaking a bit he waited for it to bring him to Derek's floor. When the elevator finally made an abrupt stop, Stiles waited for the doors to open to let him out of the elevator. Knowing Derek could hear him, hear his raging heartbeat, ramped up his nerves...but still Stiles walked to the loft door and lifted his right fist to knock on the heavy metal; he only waited a few seconds and then...

 

* * *

 

Derek went for the door when Stiles knocked. He'd heard the teenager coming a mile away, recognizing the specific rattling sound of his Jeep, then his heartbeat when the teen got into the elevator. He opened the door and there he was, standing nervously, hands in the pockets of his dark berry red jeans, and still so damn... Him! Derek thought taking in Stiles' looks. The boy had barely change, yes barely, cause it was easy for Derek to notice that Stiles wasn't really the Stiles he'd known six months ago, before he took off with Cora for New-York.

 

"Stiles." He said simply, nodding his head a little.

"Derek..." Stiles answered, his voice carrying the nervousness he was feeling inside. No doubt Derek's proximity accentuated it.

"So… you're back." Stiles stated, his gaze finding Derek's. Man, but this was so awkward. He felt awkward just standing there in front of the man he had wanted to see for so long now and he didn't even know how to say _'hi'_ or even where to start.

"Yes, I am." Derek answered, stepping out of the way to allow Stiles to enter the loft.

 

Stiles wasted no time and made his way to the living room. The windows on the rooftop had been replaced, and it seemed like some of the furniture had changed like the couch for example, it was longer and larger than the last one and not that bottle green velvet but more like a midnight blue velvet. The bed was now barely visible as two thin curtains were hiding it on its left side, preventing your eyes from seeing what was behind them when you entered the loft. Stiles liked the color of the curtains and the style they gave to the place, the warm mid tone beige color looking so soft and so did its material. Stiles didn't recognized what it was, only that it seemed like something fancy you only see in those deco magazines. This addition gave a warmer edge to the loft, the place not seeming as cold. A little like Derek to be honest, Stiles thought when he turned back to face the man.

 

"So, why are you here? Shouldn't you be with your pack, doing whatever it is you do with them?" Derek asked, sounding like his old self. In the past, the way the man talked to him would have instantly pissed Stiles off, now it only annoyed him a bit, he'd understood a long time ago that it was easier for Derek to act that way.

"I'm where I want to be, when I want to be!" He answered, seeing Derek lift an eyebrow, apparently amused by Stiles reply.

"Good for you! Now…. What do you want?" Derek added, making his way to the kitchen, he had the feeling Stiles wouldn't be leaving anytime soon.

 

"I...needed to talk to you about... I've been wondering if you'd ever come back or if... and then I heard you were back in town when I was at the police station. And I thought it was perfect timing, so I came because I really needed to talk to you about something?" Stiles answered, babbling like he always did when he was nervous, and Derek throwing glances his way every minute or so really was making him nervous. He watched the werewolf move in the kitchen, not really daring to come any closer and invade the man's space.

"Yes, clearly..." Derek said, amused to feel Stiles so nervous. Through everything they had lived and experienced together in the past, he'd never felt this boy, not so much of a boy anymore actually, this nervous around him. "I'm gonna make supper, you should sit down Stiles."

Was it the offer hidden in Derek's words or the kindness in his voice? Stiles couldn't have told you which one surprised him the most. Breathing out shakily, he went to sit down on one of the high bar stools in front of the island. His feet on the chair bar, he couldn't help his knees from bouncing in nervousness. What if Derek ripped his throat out after Stiles had admitted knowing about the man's secret? He didn't want to face an angry Derek today, or _ever_ to be honest.

"Hope you're hungry, Stilinski." Derek said, his back to Stiles working on what Stiles saw were potatoes.

"Actually...I'm starving!" Stiles admitted, having missed breakfast and lunch today, he had been to nervous to eat anything other than an apple at lunch to please Scott and Lydia. He hadn't told them why or what made him so nervous. He didn't wanted them to know, he wanted this to stay his secret. His and maybe Derek's secret, if the guy accepted.

"I kind of can tell you're hungry, yeah."

"Freaking werewolf..." Stiles whispered, watching Derek make his way to the oven to slide the tray containing the cut open potatoes inside. He found it was relaxing to watch Derek cook. He'd always thought the man was more of a take-out kind of person despite his well developed body, werewolf metabolism and all that. Learning that Derek could cook was quite a bit of a shock, yeah. One more thing Stiles could add to his list of _**'Derek -Sourwolf- Hale's hidden talents'** _ just after _'fucking talented photographer'_. He caught the man's gaze and the hint of a smirk, no doubt his werewolf ears had caught his whispered words.

 

"So, you wanted to tell me something, I think." Derek said, putting steaks in a pan to cook slowly while he cut some tomatoes and onions before putting them in a salad bowl with some lettuce. Stiles watched him season the salad, a little amazed. Yes, Derek Hale definitely knew how to cook and they were healthy dishes at that.

"Yes, I wanted to ask you something!" Stiles repeated, getting nervous again. Taking a deep breath, he started to talk, deciding to lay all his cards on the table now than to wait endless minutes to get the nerves to ask Derek.

"Huh, while you were gone, I kinda found myself doing some research... Yeah, you see, Danny kinda showed me how to track someone's phone using their GPS device; I didn't know where you were and I was curious and needed to focus on something other than... I needed a focus, okay!" Stiles said quickly, starting to fidget with his fingers, playing with the glass, plate and cutlery Derek had arranged in front of him. He wasn't lying, he really had needed to focus on something and had really needed to know where Derek was heading, he couldn't explain why, just that he had needed it with such an intensity that he couldn't think of anything else.

"You were gone, okay! You didn't even say goodbye. And Scott was too wrapped up in his new alpha responsibilities and my dad was trying to work out the best he could on what had happened with Deucalion and the Darach, and everyone else had their mind on something and me... I... Deaton wasn't joking when he said it would be different after, he really wasn't..." Stiles said in a whisper, his hands starting to shake around the glass Derek had filled with water.

 

Derek knew without asking that Stiles was talking about the sacrifice and the aftermath of it.

 

"Nothing has been the same since then. Everything is changed...in me and… around me! And I could… I can feel it, it's there, it's always there. So I thought that if maybe I found out where you were then I could think of something else, if only for a while. And after Danny showed me how to search for someone I kinda found myself searching for more… about you. Well, more that I still didn't know about you and that's how I found out what you did in New York."

"Oh." Derek simply said, filling their plates with the steaks, salad and potatoes he had taken out of the oven, he then placed a small pot of fresh cream he had made for the potatoes beside their own respective plates. Stiles could recognize cut chives and chunks of big sea salt in it.

"I found out about Darhel..."

"Stiles..." Derek tried to say, but Stiles was quicker and kept talking.

"At first I was curious, that seemed so out of character with the Sourwolf I know you are, but after looking at about twenty or more pictures you've done I couldn't stop myself. The thing is you're so fucking talented and I don't know, somehow I felt _connected._ To your work, to the way you see things. It really spoke to me and so I searched for more, and slowly I lost myself in your art. Finally I could think of something else, something positive, something other than the darkness I can feel creeping into my heart. And slowly I started to want more than to just to look at your work... I..." Stiles fell silent, not sure how to express his request, afraid to have Derek tell him NO to his face without blinking.

"You... What?" The man asked, his gaze searching Stiles'. "You can tell me." He added, trying to reassure the boy, he could smell how anxious the teenager was, the smell of his emotions being so strong and thick to Derek's sensible werewolf nose.

"I want to be your model!" Stiles suddenly blurted out, not taking his eyes off of Derek's "I need this. I need to know what I am to the eyes of someone else. I need to feel connected to something, to someone and I want to do that with you, because you're the only person that can understand how hopeless and lost I feel. But of course, I would understand if you, like... ripped my throat out this instant for having stalked you and asked you that, but I don't care I had to come here and asked you face to face, like a man instead of staying locked in my room like a kid who's too afraid to take his courage in his hands and..."

"Okay, I'll do it!" Derek said, cutting off his rambling.

"Wow, what? Say that again!" Stiles asked, incredulous.

"I said... I'll do it." Derek repeated, his eyes staring deep into the amber ones of Stiles.

"You'll do it, just like that without even opposing yourself to the idea or threatening to rip my throat out for having discovered your secret?!" Stiles said, surprised, unable to believe Derek was actually agreeing to something he, Stiles Stilinski, had asked him. Something so personal to the man.

"Of course I'm not going to threaten you. Not when I can see how important this is and how much you need my help. And like you said, I can relate. Besides, this is what we do right? Save each other?"

"Okay...hum...thank you, I guess." Stiles almost whispered.

"You're welcome. Now, shut up and eat before it gets too cold!" Derek replied, gesturing at Stiles' plate with his fork.

 

Stiles did as told, not able to keep his moans of pleasure to himself after he took a bite. Damn, but Derek Hale could cook. This was pure orgasm to his mouth he thought. At some point, he caught Derek's amused gaze on him and blushed slightly at the intensity of the man's indefinable eyes. Modeling for him would be such a new thing, full of intensity and surprises, Stiles could already tell that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this chapter, wolvies ?
> 
> Please leave me a comment or kudos so that i know if you enjoyed the fic. I enjoy writing it, you have no idea, so your comments would mean the world to me.
> 
> Once again i would like to THANK YOU **Darcy Wolf** and **Lisa McCooeye** for being part of this wonderful adventure and making it this magic.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr, for more infos about my work, updates, and so on... you can even leave me messages there if you want, I'll answer them : 
> 
> **My tumblr** : [theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)


	2. Meet me after school!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Hey guys, so here's chapter two.  
> **  
>  Hope you'll enjoy.  
> Kisses.
> 
> **My tumblr** : [Theshiwolf](http://shinhia304.tumblr.com/)

 

 

> _*** Meet me at the loft after school. *** _

 

Said the text Stiles received from Derek around lunch time, a few days later.

 

 

> _*** Are greetings lost in your vocabulary? Sourwolf! Noted, I'll be there. *** _

 

 

Sitting next to Scott at the lunch table, he pocketed his phone after sending the quick reply. Scott being his old curious self tried to read over Stiles' shoulder, but Stiles didn't gave him the time to do so. This was private. It was his and Derek's secret, and no one, not even his one and only brOTP, could know about this.

Everyone already knew too much about everyone's business, and it had only gotten worse since they had become a solid pack with Scott being a true alpha. But being in the pack didn't mean Stiles couldn't have his own life outside of them; he needed to know he could still breathe on his own.

 

"Who were you texting?" Scott asked, loud enough that Stiles felt everyone's eyes directed in his direction.

"No one!" He answered, happy to feel his heartbeat remain stead. He was getting better at controlling it when lying to wolves apparently.

"Ok..." Scott said, his gaze a bit suspicious. Then he added,

"We're going to the movies after school, you're coming too, right?!"

Stiles felt just a tad bit guilty when he heard the happy and hopeful tone of his best friend's question, his guilt increasing when he answered,

"No, sorry, I've got something else to do."

"What?" Scott asked, closing up the space between their shoulders, his own now brushing Stiles'. The proximity allowing him to sniff the emotional scents Stiles' body was producing.

Needless to say, Stiles thought Scott's new alpha senses where just as creepy as all the other alphas he had known. An even stronger sense of smell must be a 'perk' when you received your upgrade to alpha status, Stiles thought, amused by his own thoughts.

"It's just a thing Scott, okay? A human thing, that I still manage to have aside from the supernatural crazy party we live in." He didn't knew why he felt so protective of his secret. But he was afraid Scott or really anyone would find out. A small part of him also felt annoyed by Scott's curiosity. He was still entitled to his own life, right.

"Is it a chick?"

"No!"

"A dude then..."

"NO!! Shut it, Scott. It's my own personal business okay. Now, please, drop it!" Stiles exclaimed, pushing away his barely touched plate. He wasn't hungry anymore, all he wanted was for school to end so he could rush to Derek's loft and lose himself in whatever Derek would want to do for their first meeting.

 

Scott looked at him silently for a long while, his face serious. Stiles could read curiosity and suspicion in his brown eyes, but he really couldn't care less. Scott needed to learn that him being their alpha didn't mean Stiles would drop everything he liked to do on the side to the profit of the pack sticking together almost all the time. It was becoming suffocating and unnerving to not be able to breathe outside of the pack. Meeting Derek was the escape he needed. He had needed one for quite a long time now. He wasn't about to give it up so that they could all go to the movies, pack style. No, this meant too much for Stiles to ignore his need, to ignore the fact that with Derek back in town he couldn't resist the pull to be with the man.

 

* * *

 

 

 

At four pm, school finally came to an end. Not wasting time, Stiles drove directly to Derek's, not even bothering to stop at home. He wanted to get to the loft as soon as he possibly could, impatience growing quickly inside him.

 

Ten minutes _(that felt like ten hours)_ later, Stiles arrived at the loft, not remembering the ride, and wondering just how fast he'd been driving to make it in such a good time. Exhaling slowly, he was suddenly very aware that this was it. He climbed out of the car and crossed the street. Stiles tapped in the code. Pulled the door open and rode the elevator to Derek's floor. Then he was walking towards Derek, standing in his doorway. Wearing his leather jacket, car keys in hand.

 

"Hi. How are you?" Stiles said, feeling suddenly quite shy under Derek's intense stare.

"I'm fine, thanks. Are you ready?" Derek asked and Stiles shook his head positively.

"Yeah. Ready!"

"Good, let's go then!"

"Huh... We're not staying here?" Stiles asked, unsure of where or what Derek had in mind for their first day together.

"No, we're not. Come on, let’s go!" He said, gesturing for Stiles to walk back to the elevator.

Stiles turned and headed back down the hallway, he was curious to know what Derek wanted to do for their first 'get-together'. He noted the absence of any equipment on Derek shoulder and wondered if the guy had already packed everything and put his things in his car.

 

"So, where are you taking me?" He asked, once out of the elevator and the passenger door of Derek’s car closed behind him.

“You’ll see.”

 

"Dude, I thought you got rid of this baby.” Stiles said, stroking the dash. “Seriously, the Rav4 you were driving was so wrong for you; your Sourwolf attitude needs to drive something badass!"

"I never got rid of the Camaro, just put in storage for a while. Cora needed a car so I gave her the Toyota." Derek answered, sounding like his old self and pissed at Stiles’ ramblings. But Stiles was not buying his act. Not anymore. Not for a long time actually. He knew perfectly well that it was all just a facade Derek preferred to show than to get real and have it be a possible target if only he showed his real self. But Stiles knew better. He knew Derek enough to read the minimal signs of Derek's true personality showing.

"Whatever, I still think the Camaro suits you best!" Stiles said, making sure to show his point. "How is Cora by the way?" He asked.

"She's fine. She’s happier in New York than she ever was here, anyway. Plus she’s getting to finish school peacefully there and then college maybe, we'll see..." Derek answered, his face softening at the thoughts of his baby sister. Stiles stayed silent, just watching the man, touched by the sudden show of emotions on his face. It was like in the blink of an eye Derek looked extremely young. Looked like the twenty-three year old he actually was and not the ten years older he usually did.

"Yeah, it's better for her, I guess. Beacon Hills isn’t the calmest place to have a peaceful school life. What about you, though?" Stiles said, feeling more and more comfortable to ask questions and talk to Derek as the car was speeding on the road.

"What about me?" Derek answered his attention on his driving.

"Well, how do you feel now that she's in New York and you... You're back here. You did live together for almost a year, which is big when we know... your history." Stiles said, trying his best to not sound like a nosy brat but to show Derek that his questioning was sincere and that he really did care about the guy.

"I was used to living alone before Cora, I'll get used to it again in no time...I guess." Derek said calmly, his eyes on the road.

 

Stiles heard and saw Derek's hands tighten on the steering wheel. _'Get used to it...'_ huh. Stiles wasn’t so sure Derek would really get used to that, he knew how much family and pack were important for the guy. He knew that Derek would think he was used to being alone but in reality he’d just become really good at ignoring his feelings.

 

Like so many times before, Stiles kept his thoughts to himself. He really didn't understand why, but suddenly he felt much more attuned to Derek. Really understanding him now when he wouldn't have been able to in the past.

 

Wanting to change the subject to something less personal and less about him, Derek asked,

 

"Which of my pictures do you prefer? And what does my work say to you when you look at it?"

 

Stiles was taken aback by the sudden change of subject, and it took him a few minutes to regain his thoughts and form a clear answer in his head.

 

"Hmm... That's a tough question but I guess I really loved the masquerade series you did. And all the nudes really. Those ones are my favorites. Because it's raw, it's real, there's nothing to hide behind when you're naked! And your work speaks to me in many different ways for each one of your pictures. I've experienced a million different emotions when I drown myself in them. At first simply curiosity cause I desperately needed to know what it was you were doing. Then to know more about the part of you that’s Darhel Kee and then just to feel. Your work for me is not loud like a slogan or advertisement; it's something concrete and real. True. And so honest, that I felt myself lost in it without even noticing what was happening and now I just want to be a tiny piece of that. I want to be a piece of something real and honest too."

 

Derek kept silent for a while seeming only interested in where to direct the car. Though the way his eyebrows kept frowning from time to time showed the contrary. Stiles understood that Derek was replaying what he’d said in his head, sorting out things, surely starting to plan the work he would like to do with Stiles. What Stiles didn't expected was the direct question Derek asked him then. Turning the music down, voice louder than the car speakers;

 

"Tell me about the sacrifice. And how it's been to live with the darkness inside you?"

"Wow, dude. Jumping right to the personal questions, are we?" Stiles replied, uncomfortable to talk about the sacrifice or how it was to go through it and how he constantly felt since then. He didn't want to spill his guts about all that, not now, not ever if he could manage it. He'd really prefer to act like nothing had happened, ignore the problem and wish it would just disappear on its own.

 

"So... Are you gonna tell me about everything that scares you? Ignoring your problems won't make them go away, Stiles." Derek added, the car suddenly coming to a stop and its engine dying slowly. Stiles finally noticed they were parked in the Preserve and facing the old Hale House. It still looked the same. Burnt and sadly terrifying. But Stiles had always felt empathy for the old mansion, a soft spot in his heart warming to the sight of it every time he found himself in this place.

"What's the point of me telling you about those things anyway?" Stiles answered, feeling hopeless, angered and scared all at the same time. The scent of his increasing discomfort slowly filling the air in the car, making him even more jittery than usual. The small space inside of the car was suddenly too small, too close around him, too suffocating, so he burst out of the Camaro.

 

Derek got out of the car too, and slowly approached Stiles. He got near enough to hear the soft ramble of his whispering as he passed back and forth in front of Derek. Hands in the pockets of his jacket, Derek knew he couldn't stay quiet for too long. If he wanted this to work then he had to push Stiles. Push him so far that his only choice would be to finally open up to him. He knew it wasn't fair, exposing Stiles this way, but like most things in it, life wasn't fair.

 

"If you want us to be able to work together, seriously work together, then you're gonna have to open up to me, Stiles. You're going to have to trust me. With this. And with a lot of other things or else this will be awkward and a waste of time for the both of us!"

"So you do this with all your models?! Ask them about their personal demons?!" Stiles blurted, unable to control his shaking hands.

"Not always, but I do if my work demands it. And here, I think it's necessary."

"Don't you get that these are things I don't want to talk about? That I don't want to think about?!"

"What I get is that you're letting your fears get in the way of what you want, when I'm the one at a disadvantage."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Stiles asked, stopping his constant passing, his body suddenly very still when his eyes met Derek's serious ones. No, Derek wasn't joking.

"It means that you know a LOT about me, Stiles. I'm familiar with your research skills; I know you probably spent the last three months tracking down any small obscure detail about my crappy life, and that you could probably tell my story better then I could. You were the first to figure out the truth about Laura and Kate. You even know about Paige."

 

At the mention of Paige, Stiles completely froze, his eyes going wide. He didn't know, hadn't thought that Derek would find out that Stiles had heard the story. That he knew Derek had made a mistake and it had cost him the life of his first love.

 

"Yeah! And I'm not denying anything, even though I would have preferred if you had heard about them from me, and we can talk about all that later, if you want, but right now this is about you.

"I know how it feels like. I'm being indiscreet and pushing things, but it's because I want to know who you truly are. I want to talk about what's keeping you from trusting me. So stop shutting me out because you're scared and instead make the effort to trust me. Start small. Tell me your first name. About the sacrifice. About the darkness. About how you're unable to sleep since you died and came back to life. And...tell me about your mother."

"No! This is too much, way too much! I don't want to do this, okay? I've changed my mind. I trust you enough to take my picture but these things are private. These things are way too... No! I'm sorry but no!"

"If you can't trust me enough to tell me about your life, then how are you going to be able to trust me when I ask you to take off your shirt. To get naked in front of me and put yourself in situations or positions that require trust, complete trust between us. How are you going to be able to drop your mask for me to shoot the real you, to reveal who you truly are to my lens if you won't trust me with your most intimate secrets? You already know all of mine, Stiles!" Derek said, now standing so close to Stiles that their chests were practically touching.

 

Stiles lost himself in Derek's surprising greenish eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, cheeks bright red, but he just couldn't. He was incapable of doing what Derek was asking of him. He just couldn't. Instead he choose to act on his nerves and said, his voice sounding strangely very deep to his own ears:

 

"You know what...this was a stupid idea. I don't even know why I asked you to do it in the first place! Can you take me back please?"

"You're running away." Derek simply said, causing Stiles' blush to deepen.

"Fuck you!" Stiles spat. How dare Derek say that to him. "Please just take me back to your place so I can get my jeep and go home. We can pretend this never happened."

"If that's what you really want."

"Yes, it's what I really want." Stiles added, voice filled with bitterness.

 

Derek sighed deeply, and not saying anything else he moved back around the car, sliding back behind the wheel. Stiles was already sitting on the passenger seat silently, arms crossed over his chest. Then the car was leaving the Preserve and going back through town. When they arrived at the loft Derek parked in his usual parking spot and turned off the ignition. Stiles finally came back to life and was going to open the door but Derek's softly murmuring his name stopped him long enough to listen to him talk,

 

"Stiles… If you ever change your mind. You know where to find me."

 

Stiles climbed out of the car, Derek imitating him. Their eyes met over the car rooftop and Derek said,

 

"Goodbye, Stiles."

 

Nodding, Stiles turned around to go to his car. He climbed into the Jeep and turned the ignition over. He couldn't stop himself from glancing back to Derek's building. The man was already in the entrance, still watching Stiles from the door, their eyes met one last time and then Stiles drove off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up Thursday.


	3. And then came Lydia Martin...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **My tumblr** : [TheShiWolf](http://shinhia304.tumblr.com/)

 

Hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks, and every minute of it was torture for Stiles. But he didn't reached out for Derek, he couldn't. He kept replaying the words the man had told him, over and over. He knew deep down that Derek was right; to work together, for him to be at ease in the presence of Derek, they needed trust. Trust was essential to their 'relationship'.

 

Yes, _**trust**_ was the key. And the craziest thing was, he knew he could trust Derek. If there was someone, other than his dad and Scott of course, that he knew he could trust, it was Derek. Even if it kinda hurt him to admit it. Derek, since that very first day in the Preserve, had never once really hurt him and always did everything to keep Stiles safe, always got in the way to protect Stiles. So, really, he knew he could trust the guy.

 

But, _why was it easier to trust Derek with his life_ than to trust him with his most intimates secrets ?

 

Derek hadn't been lying; Stiles knew a great deal about the older man, probably more than he should, but Stiles had always been a nosy brat and he was never content with just the apparent facts, he had to search deep to get to the unknown information.

 

That was why he'd discovered the truth about Kate, because he hadn't been able to stop until it all made sense. He discovered how Kate had succeeded in approaching Derek, filling in the blanks as best he could about how she must have flirted with him, how after the heartbreak over Paige he'd been an easy target. She had convinced him to let her into his house, to show her around, and after a night spent together – just the thought made Stiles feel the need to take a shower – he'd gone off to school and she'd trapped his family inside their home and set his house on fire. 

He'd learned about Paige from Peter, so who knew how accurate that information was, but it was enough to fill in a few more of the holes Stiles saw when thinking about Derek. He really wanted to ask Derek about what had happened but there hadn't been an opportunity.

And he'd found out Laura was not only the Hale alpha but an almost exact replica of her mother, having inherited all Talia's powers and more. And how she had been the one pushing Derek to show the world his pictures.

 

So yeah, he knew more about Derek than he did about Allison or Danny or even Jackson. And still Derek had trusted him more than once, showing Stiles that he respected and cared enough about the boy to put his life, his pack's lives and so much more again in his hands. It was only normal now that Derek wanted to get to know Stiles the more, the best he could, right.

 

So why was he so scared of trusting Derek? Why was he so afraid to let him in, to tell him everything?

 

And then he could see it; what he feared the most wasn't revealing his secrets, but the look he would see in the man's eyes, the thoughts that would cloud his mind, and then his ability to judge him. How Stiles wouldn't be able to stop it from happening. And DAMN, but he was so scared of that. Scared that how Derek saw him, the image he had of him would change drastically in the end.

 

He was lost, totally lost and didn't know what to do or how to act when it came to Derek and all these new problems and feelings. He wished he could talk about all of this with his dad, but he really didn't want him to know that he was about to go play model for Derek, a man five years older than him, and let him take nude pictures of him. He could already see his dad's cruiser in front of the loft, his dad coming out of the building leading Derek in handcuffs to the police car. No, been there done that, and it was not something he wanted to see again.

 

This was between Derek and himself, and he had to decide if he had the balls to let his guard down and talk, really talk, to Derek.

 

He jumped out of his skin when the loud sound of a plate meeting the lunch table tore him from his endlessly rambling thoughts. Lifting his eyes he stayed silent watching Lydia standing in front him, wearing her 'I know something's wrong with you and boy, you're going to talk!' expression. Stiles turned his head from left to right, searching for the others, but no one was in sight; it was him and Lydia against the world, or in this case the entire school.

 

"Okay, you're going to talk to me, Stilinski! What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked, opening her water bottle, and peeling her banana like there was nothing going on.

“What do you mean, what's wrong with me?” Stiles exclaimed, only receiving a bored gaze in response, clearly stating she knew better and wasn't buying it. Stiles sighs heavily, knowing he wouldn't be able to stop Lydia from putting her cute nose in his personal issues.

"You've been a mess for weeks now. The dark circles under your eyes are worse than normal, you've been placing yourself in the corner of any room I see you in, and Scott keeps asking me if I know what's wrong with you. It's really getting on my nerves. So, either you tell me what's wrong or I force it out of you, and you know how I can be..."

"And to think I had a crush on you for all those years." Stiles said.

"Ignorance is bliss. Besides, your face is doing this weird thing..."

“Okay, okay, I'm gonna talk but this stays between you and me only, no talking about it with Jackson, cause yeah I know you guys are still in contact, or with Allison or your creepy new boy toy.”

 

Lydia put her right hand over her heart, showing the secret would die with her. And Stiles mentally thanked her for that, exhaling slowly he started talking about how he had found where Derek was all this months ago, what he had discovered was Derek profession, and then all the rest : falling in love for the artist, cause yeah he had indeed fall for Darheel Kee, then, he told her how he went to see Derek when he had got back to town, told her about the diner they ate together, the proposition he made to the man and how is answer was positive. Then he told her about the drive in the woods and how they fought because Stiles was enable to trust Derek enough to let him get to know him better, and how he had finally said this had been a terrible idea from the start, concluding by the last words Derek had told him.

 

“And Now, I'm lost because I really don't know what to do, this means a fucking lot to me you understand, and Derek is the only person that can help me right now, but I don't know how let my guard down when we're together, it's like the walls are even stronger when I'm with him. I can totally trust him with saving my ass, but when it comes to something more personal it's like I'm totally paralyzed and my only way out is using sarcasm and pushing him away. I really don't know what to do, I really don't, Lydia.”

 

Lydia kept silent for a while, eating slowly her dish, then finally she put her fork down and crossed her hand under her chin, eyes boring into those of Stiles.

“You're keeping yourself from living a crazy experience and finding a cure to your ' _mal-être_ ' only by fear. The answer to your problem is simple you know...”

“Simple how?”

"Grow a pair of balls, Stilinski. Seriously, don't you get it? Derek's already done half the work here, he's trusted you over and over again, enough that he didn't even oppose it when you asked to work with him. He offered you the opportunity to start opening up to him, and you shoved him away. And then instead of being pissed and telling you to go to hell, he still cared enough to tell you that he would still be willing to work with you if you changed your mind.

“Stiles, Derek isn't asking you to spill your guts all at once but to make the effort of showing him you trust him enough to start with little things like your real name or what's your favorite drink at the coffee shop, what's your favorite song, and so on... That's how you start to show someone they mattered enough that you're willing to let them to get to know you. Plus, Derek's a photographer getting to know his model, get intimate with them I that way is part of his work too.

"I haven't seen his work, so I don't really know how what kind of an artist he is, but for his work to be true and honest like you describe it, don't you think knowing the person he's shooting would be the biggest part of the job? How will he be able to take the kind of pictures you're looking for if you don't give him the opportunity to show what's really hidden inside of you? Not the sarcastic personality we all know you prefer to hide behind, but the real you, the Stiles Stilinski we know is amazing and worthy of the attention."

 

Stiles was speechless, he didn't know what to say after that. He hadn't even known that that was how Lydia saw him. What was there even to say, really? Lydia look him in the eyes once more and added :

 

"Start slowly, go see him, talk to him about anything, who cares as long as you're trying. Take the first step towards him, make him understand you're willing to work hard enough to make this work, that you could both do something amazing. But that'll only happen if you're trying hard enough to make it happen, Stiles. Derek can't do all the work for you, it has to come from you too. I'm gonna let you think this over, I see Aidan over there. 

 

She got up, taking her empty plate with her to put him on the sorting trolley. She turned towards him and mouthed :

“Don't let fear blow your chances.” And then she was gone with her boyfriend.

 

Stiles watched them from far away, he had barely touched his plate and didn't feel like eating anything at all. No, what he truly wanted to do was go see Derek. He needed the man. Oh god, he needed him! The rush of fear and panic that flowed through him scared him even more and his heart seized at the thought of letting Derek in. But Lydia had clearly seen what it meant for him to get close to someone, to get close to Derek. He needed that connection like a drowning man craves air. And Stiles had felt like he was drowning for far too long now. It was time for him to regain the surface... Time for him to allow Derek to give him that air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up on Sunday.
> 
> xoxo  
> Sin.


	4. It takes courage, and a little more than that to take the first step!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **New chapter is here..... Enjoy !!!!**

He parked in front of the building, shaking all over, and thinking once again that he was crazy to follow Lydia's advice. But here he was, and now that he was here he couldn't go backwards. He was brave enough to do this.

Getting out of the car he crossed the street, went into the building, took the elevator and found himself knocking on Derek's door. He didn't wait long for the door to open, Derek facing him silent and wearing his usual poker face. Finally, he let out a deep breath and said, meeting the green orbs that were Derek's eyes,

 

“I thought about what you said, and... I'm willing to try.”

And that was it; such simple words left him feeling relieved now that he'd said them.

“Come in.” Derek said, getting out of the way and showing him the loft.

 

Stiles entered, brushing past Derek and couldn't hold back the shiver that ran over his skin or control his quickening heartbeat when his nose caught his scent. He heard Derek close the door behind him, then saw the man go to turn the music down, a book was laying open on the couch.

 

"I never would have imagined you listening to Jessie J while reading." Stiles said, a surprised smile on his face. 

"I listen to a lot of things." Derek answered, turning towards the him.

 

And just like that Stiles felt nervous as hell all over again but, hey, he'd done most of the hard work by coming here.

 

"So...I guess you've thought things through."

"Um...yeah I did. But I have some conditions." He said.

 

Derek crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his eyebrows in a perfect 'No kidding. I'm so _**not**_ fucking surprised!'

 

"Ok first, no expressive killer eyebrows while I'm spilling my guts here, it's already fucking hard enough as it is."

 

Derek kept silent going to sit down on the couch. Stiles felt like pacing back and forth would be a good way to calm himself while speaking;

 

"So, yeah, I thought about what you said and you were right. This isn't gonna work if I keep shying away every time it gets too personal. You were right to say I'm scared. I'm so scared its scarily scary! Hell, I would take any Kanimas or alphas that pass by right now if it could keep me from having to talked about me. But like you said it's not gonna work if I don't open up to you and yes, I know a lot about you but from strangers only, not from you. So I think that the only way for us to make this experience work is if we both share things. Together. I mean I'll talk but you'll have to talk too. So that we learn more about each other at the same time."

"Okay. I'm alright with that." Derek said, his eyes meeting Stiles'. He understood then that Stiles was scared of his judgment, something that hadn't occurred to him before, but now could read it clearly on his face. "Take off your shoes and socks and come with me."

Stiles looked skeptical at first but did as told, following Derek to the staircase leading to the upstairs part of the loft. Stiles had never stepped foot in that part before, so it was a total surprised for him to see it now.

 

The upstairs was the same big open space than the downstairs was except that it was sun bathed and divided into three spaces. First was the main open space where Derek had arranged a big photography area, and then the back housed two rooms with frosted glass walls, one the bedroom Cora used to live in and the other looked like a second bathroom. This part of the loft looked warmer than the downstairs, the main color being white for the shooting studio. Stiles could see shades of warm purples and blues through the frosted glass, the only permanent traces of Cora left in the loft.

 

"Come over here." Derek said to him, his voice sounding more relax and softer than Stiles had ever heard it before. Was it being far away from Beacon Hills for six months or the fact that the atmosphere between them was strangely more relaxed and peaceful that caused these changes in Derek? Stiles didn't know the answer but he liked that Derek seemed to be calm enough in his presence to let a part of his guard down. One more show of the willingness the man was putting into this.

Stiles approached Derek, unsure of what to do. Derek grabbed his hand to lead him to the middle of the shooting area, and if Stiles felt his hand tingle at the touch he kept it to himself, enjoying that Derek felt comfortable enough for such impulsive touches. It left Stiles feel strangely warm.

 

"Stand here. Relax." Derek said still using that gentle tone. Locking eyes and with a soft smile at the corner of his lips, he added,

"And breathe, you're safe here. With me."

And Stiles knew he was, he'd known the instant Derek had opened his door.

"Now close your eyes."

Stiles looked at Derek for a long second, unsure if he wanted to go along with that or not, but something reassuring in the man's green eyes pushed him to close his own.

"I won't hurt you." Derek almost whispered to him.

"I know..." Stiles answered, cause he knew deep down in his heart that Derek could never, would never hurt him. Not intentionally at least. So he closed his eyes, breathing in and out trying to calm his raging heartbeat. He felt nervous and hyper aware of the moment, his feelings deepening when he felt the brush of air left by Derek when he moved away, then when he heard him coming back near him. He felt him move around his back and then something soft was being tied up around his head.

"A b-blindfold?" He asked.

"I figured, you'll be more comfortable talking to me if you don't have to look at me while doing it."

 

It was clever of Derek and Stiles felt even more touched to witness that even if he had fled like a scared puppy and not reached out to Derek for a little more than two weeks, the man had still thought about Stiles and found solutions to help him get past his fears.

 

"I know what it's like, how consuming it is when you're afraid of judgment. I had to live with that feeling all my life, being so different from humans. It's even more terrifying to open up to someone with whom you have experienced really strong emotions and traumatizing situations like we have." Derek spoke softly, moving silently to put on some music. The music was soft and soothed his constant nervousness. Suddenly Derek was back in his personal space, placing himself close to his back.

 

Stiles felt hands come from behind him to lay on the zipper of his light blue hoodie, being shushed when he started to ask what Derek was doing. The hands held him for a few minutes before moving to unzip the hoodie he was wearing slowly enough to give him the option of stopping if he felt too uncomfortable. Stiles didn't stopped Derek though, he let the man unzip his zipper completely, then take it off with attentive gestures. With the second layer Derek took off, his navy and turquoise checkered shirt, he started talking.

 

"Being a photographer is being able to reveal what's under the surface of simple things or people masks. It's creating a bond between you and your model, understanding them the best you can to put to light what they're made of, who they are and were. You can't just pick up a camera and take pictures and hope you'll get a great result by photo shopping your pictures. You have to make the effort of understanding your model, of studying him, of listening to him if you want to be able to capture his essence."

 

The warm air of the loft hitting his skin, caused goosebumps to form on Stiles' arms.

 

"That's what needs to happen here, Stiles, for this to work. It's going to feel like I'm undressing you, caressing the lines of your body, drawing your features. My camera will be my eyes, drinking in the sight of you before me. It will get so intimate sometimes, that you won't be able to tell where I start and you end, only that we're mixing together... Sometimes it will be so intense, that you'll be aroused, that we'll both be aroused by what's being created in those intimate moments."

 

Stiles felt his heat beat faster and faster as he listened to Derek's low voice. His skin covered in goosebumps over and over again whenever Derek's warm fingers brushed against his skin. Now running up and down his arms and making him shiver.

 

"And when you're finally naked in front of me, it will be comfortable because of the trust we'll have built. Because of what we will have already experienced to get to that point. Then you'll be able to let me take the really suggestive pictures, like lying spread out on my bed, legs open wide, your body totally exposed to my eyes."

 ** _'MINE!'_** Burned hot through Derek's mind but he controlled himself.

 

His t-shirt, the last barrier keeping Derek from seeing him half naked, suddenly disappeared. He felt Derek's hands slide under the hem of his shirt, fingers brushing the sensible skin of his hips and abdomen before the fabric was slowly lifted, fingers still brushing as they went further up. By instinct he lifted his arms and the last thing his brain registered was Derek finally getting the shirt totally off of him.

 

Stiles felt more vulnerable than ever in this position. Vulnerable, nervous and incredibly turned on. His breathe catching in his throat when Derek went to touch his back, tracing his spinal cord with the tip of one finger, playing a long second in between his kidneys on his lower back. Then the hands, fingers were all over his front. Going from his chest, to stomach to abdomen, circling his now erected nipples. The hot breathe of Derek blowing on his neck making him shake violently. God but this felt so good.

 

"I'm going to steal every part of you, Stiles. I want to imprison your soul on my pictures. I want this to be my life's work, because you challenge me, you understand me, and you trust me. Together we're going to be amazing."

"Derek..." Stiles whispered, unable to keep silent. This moment felt so vivid. So... It was so intense he couldn't find his words. His breath caught in his throat when Derek places his lips against his right ear.

"Now, you're gonna sit down, and answer my questions while I take a few pictures. Okay?"

"O...okay." Stiles said, shaking. Helped by Derek he sat on the floor against one of the loft's exposed brick walls, trying to control the storm that was his feelings.

 

Derek grabbed his Nikon camera and came back to sit facing Stiles. The boy was shaking, lips parted. Derek could see his chest heave violently as Stiles tried to control the overwhelming turmoil happening inside of him. Derek didn't wasted time, and took that first picture, the one of the highly sensitive man that he was.

 

"What's your name?" Derek asked quietly, preferring to go slow. He didn't wanted to scare Stiles away again, to make him run. He had already succeeded in touching Stiles, in getting him naked from the waist up. It, along with a few questions would be enough for today.

"My real name is Genim, named after my mom's dad." Stiles answered softly, still with his eyes closed.

"Genim." Derek said, trying it out, trying to picture using it when talking to Stiles. He couldn't really, but he liked it.

 

Stiles felt warm all over when he heard his name roll so perfectly off the man's tongue. Trying not to imagine the way it would sound if his voice was kiss roughened.

 

"Thank you for telling me." Derek said softly.

"My name is Derek Vincent Hale. Vincent was the name of my father's twin brother. He was killed by hunters long before I was born, so my parents choose to name me after him to honor his memory."

 

And this is how an invisible bond started forming itself between them, them not even being aware of it. The road would be long for the both of them, but together it would be easier to travel it, than doing the journey alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you people.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos, you leave on this story every time I post!
> 
> See you thursday for chapter 5.
> 
>  **My tumblr** : [TheShiWolf](http://shinhia304.tumblr.com/)


	5. Photo shoots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry i totally forgot to post on thursday with Halloween.  
> Here a special post, two chaps instead of one, to make up for my missed post.
> 
> Next chapter will be up Thursday like usual, and will be back on my weekly schedule afterwards, so one chap on Thursday and one on Sunday.
> 
> Enjoy your reading, wolvies.
> 
> xoxo  
> Sin.

They began with small things; first the exchange of their names, then small fun facts about their families. They continued to get to know each other over the month, talking about their favorite things, places they had gone, things they had seen and done, and about things they still wanted to see and do.

 

They started out seeing each other once or twice a week, and by the end of the month they were together almost every day. They met up to take pictures of course, but also to review the photos, and to talk about new photo shoot ideas. And some days just to hang out, playing video games or watching TV or a movie or even just reading in companionable silence. Other days they talked, sharing themselves, getting to know each other better.

Their first shoot, with the blindfold, had been the trigger Stiles needed to loosen up and open himself to Derek. Let the man in enough to know it was okay to _**trust**_ , okay to _**talk**_ with someone that actually could understand him more than he’d thought he ever would and who, contrary to what he’d feared, never once judged him. Stiles had kept the blindfold on his face a long time after the exchange of their names, until he’d felt secure enough to take it off and keep talking, looking into Derek’s eyes and camera. He’d felt a bit shy being that exposed to the man but somehow, felt relieved to finally let go of his many barriers and have someone to share things with, have someone to hear him, listen to him and be there for what really mattered the most, for what he could have never talked about in the past, because no one could get him the way Derek did.

Their relationship reached a new level of confidence a week after the blindfold experience, when Stiles answered Derek's questions about his ADHD while they’d worked on a shooting session of portraits.

And for the rest of the month after, Derek kept surprising Stiles, not warning him before grabbing his camera and clicking away, capturing some very emotional moments. He was always ready to take pictures of Stiles. 

Derek answered his questions too, most of them anyway. There were still some things he wasn’t willing to open up about, but instead of pushing Stiles away, he asked him to keep track of the questions, hopeful that one day he’d be able to.

That's how they had come to talk about Paige. Stiles told Derek the story Peter had told him and Cora about the cello-playing girl. Stiles confessed to not believing Peter's version of events, to having a lot of doubts on how things had taken place.

 

“I wanted to come and ask you about it. I had it all planned out in my head, but then I saw you, and I couldn’t make myself ask. I couldn’t cause you any more pain.”

 

Derek had been touched by Stiles’ honesty, touched by how Stiles had understood, _easily_ , that most of what Peter had told them was untrue, the man twisting history to his advantage like always. And Derek decided it was time to tell Stiles himself, time to share the real story. It meant leaving himself emotionally naked to Stiles' eyes.

"She was a lot like you, you know. Maybe that's why I had a hard time being around you at first; you remind me of her. You’re both thin but strong, brunette, with eyes that show everything you're feeling, and moles dotting your skin. She had one under her left eye that made her even more beautiful. You’re both smart and mouthy, and get on my nerves. She had a temper, and just like you, she didn’t put up with any of my shit.”

 

The revelation had shaken Stiles to the core, and when he left the loft later that night, the conversation echoed in his head, leaving him heartbroken.

 

The feeling of loss in Derek's voice at that moment had been so intense that Stiles had been unable to do anything but keep looking into the man's green eyes. Somehow, learning more about who Derek really was changing his outlook on werewolves or any supernatural creatures born that way. It was like being cursed before you were even born, like everything in your life was supposed to be taken from you one day. That was the case with Derek Hale, and Stiles hurt for the teenager that he once was, in love and trusting that he could keep her at his side forever.

 

 _Why was it like that that for weres? Why was it that, when you fell in love you had to_ _pay the price in life afterwards?_

 

Stiles wanted to bring happiness to Derek, give him the possibility of closure because the situation with Paige was still an open wound, Derek's eyes had told him so. Stiles wanted to be the one to put a bandage on that wound. He wanted to be the one to save Derek from his own personal hell. He wanted to give back what Derek gave him every time they saw each other.

He knew deep down he could be that person, he knew he had enough will to be that one special person. And he was going to do everything he could to succeed!

 

To lighten the mood after the emotional moment, Derek had decided to show Stiles the results of their third photo shoot, one they’d done in the Preserve the Saturday prior to their _'Paige'_ talk. Derek asking Stiles’ opinion, wanting to know which ones spoke to him. They settled on one of each, and Derek started a folder on his laptop that he’d send to Stiles later so he’d have copies. Then they looked at the candids he’d been taking randomly. Stiles liked these best because they showed a side of himself he didn’t know he had, but he also had a hard time accepting that it was himself he was looking at. He looked so  _different_ from what he thought he looked like, so real and so vulnerable. It scared him.

 

Derek, seeing the emotions playing across his face, had no trouble understanding the turmoil Stiles was experiencing inthat moment. He decided it was time to share his own opinions, to tell Stiles what he saw.

 

“Stiles... What is it?”

“Nothing. It's... nothing really. It's just that...I…”

“You’re having a hard time dealing with the pictures.”

“Yeah. I just seem so... different. Like it's not me I'm looking at, but someone else that looks like me.” He looked at Derek to see if he was following Stiles’ train of thought. He was.

“But it's not someone else. It's you. It's the  _real_ you in those pictures, Stiles. The mouthy, hyperactive, annoying brat, who is also loyal, smart and brave, willing to risk his life for the people he loves.”

“Yeah, I know. I get that, but how can I look so…”

“Beautiful?”

“Yeah. I'm not beautiful. I'm skinny, clumsy and far away from anything related to beauty.” He argued.

“You let yourself believe what other people said about you, but you should have more faith in who you are, in what you really look like. Because to me, you're so much more than what you think you are. This...” Derek said pointing at the picture on the screen of his laptop,

“You have no idea how hypnotic you are on film, Stiles. How intense and emotional and  _real_ you are deep down inside. How attractive you are. These pictures, they're only a reflection of who you already are. I wish you would understand that, and accept it.”

 

Stiles kept silent, touched by Derek’s declaration. Speechless that that was how the man really saw him. Stiles still had difficulties believing every word, but he couldn’t argue with what he saw in Derek's eyes; Honesty.

 

*

 

Stiles was starting to think lunch time was Lydia Martin's favorite time of the day to come and grill him about Derek and what it was they were doing together. 

Part of him felt annoyed by the girl's intrusive attitude. And the other part felt relieved to have someone to be able to talk to about the situation, someone to give him advice. And let's be honest, Lydia was the best when it came to giving advice.

 

Speak of the devil, Stiles thought when a 5'3" strawberry blond banshee sat in front of him, a smirk on the corner of her full lips covered in hot pink lipstick;

 

"Stilinski!"

"Martin!" He answered. This had become their own personal way of greeting each other.

"So?" She said her eyes boring into his. 

"So what?" Stiles asked, enjoying watching her be annoyed by his feigned ignorance of what she wanted and was here for.

"Cut it, Stiles and speak."

"You know, you can’t force me to spill my guts to you whenever you want."

"Oh _please_ , you would only come and find me later anyway. So talk. What's on your mind, did something happen with Derek?"

 

Straight to the point like usual, Stiles noted, a small smile on his lips.

 

He didn't want to talk about Paige with Lydia. Besides Cora, and she had only heard Peter’s version, no one except him knew about her and it was private, something between only him and Derek but the man’s last words still haunted him.

Truth is Stiles knew he was falling deeper and deeper when he was with Derek and he could feel it, his feelings growing slowly for the man and that was pretty scary.

 

"You like him, don't you?" Lydia stated, stealing fries from his plate.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about!" 

"Hiding behind denial won't change the fact that you're falling for him, Stiles. And by the look on your face I can tell you're falling hard, am I wrong?"

"I...I... Let's talk about you and Aidan instead. How's it going with your alpha boy?"

"Nice try, Stilinski. But fine, I won't push it if you don't want to talk about that. Instead tell me about your third photo shoot, what did you guys do?"

 

Lydia asked, bending over the table a bit more, curiosity painted on her beautiful face. Stiles suppressed a big sigh. To think, he’d once prayed that such a beauty would one day see him and fall head over heels. Now, he got why they would never have that kind of relationship.

 

“The shoot was great; Derek took us out into the woods and we used a bunch of really cool masquerade masks. He planned out these amazing concepts for pictures based on the four elements. We started shooting just after noon, and worked long into the night. Then he insisted I go back to his place to look over some of the shots we’d taken, and he cooked us breakfast. Oh my god, Lyds, he’s the best cook, like not even a cook, more like a _chef._ ”

 

She kept silent, smiling tenderly. What joy and relief it was to see Stiles so excited about something again. To see his eyes animated by the flame of life again and not empty like the ghost he’d been before Derek came back to town.

 

A month had passed already, and the changes were surprising. Lydia would never have thought, in the past, that Derek Hale could be so good, so positive for Stiles in any way, but the reality was that Derek was actually the best thing to happen to Stiles since the sacrifice. Not even Scott could compare, could give Stiles what he craved, being too wrapped up in his new alpha status, his new responsibilities, and the Allison/Isaac situation.

 

"You know, somehow I'm not really surprised. Derek Hale is hot, let's be honest, and I’ve always thought there was this incredible sexual tension between the two of you whenever you've been in the same room." 

“Stop right there, Lydia Martin." Stiles exclaimed lifting his right hand to mark his exclamation. He didn't want to listen to her, talking about him and Derek and fucking sexual tension, really... NO!

"I'm just saying, that's all." She said shrugging. "So... When am I going to be able to see what you guys have already done?"

 

Stiles smiled, taking his phone out of his jeans, he taped on the screen a few times before giving the phone to Lydia, making sure no one around was able to see the pictures displayed on the screen.

 

Lydia grabbed the phone, and took her time to look at each picture with great attention. She was speechless for a while; the truth was the pictures were breath taking.

 

The first ten were portraits of Stiles from their second session and after, taken in different lighting, positions, and places around the loft, but what made their intensity so catching was the expressions, the raw feelings, the look Stiles had in them. It went from surprised in the first one, Stiles had said he’d been caught off guard, to honesty in the second, then joy, sadness, the lost expression, the troubled and hard look now so common on the teens face since he'd been resurrected. And finally the last picture, one of Stiles showing who he really was, displaying the honest and sheer expression of the highly sensitive person that he was inside and that one portrait cut Lydia somewhere deep inside.

Moving her thumb on the screen she came across the last pictures Derek had taken, the ones of the **_Masquerade_** shoot. They represented the four elements, and showed Stiles in a dark blue, close to black, military uniform with a different mask in each picture, and using the scenery to make the shots come alive.

 

The first one was _**Water**_ , where Stiles was posing knee deep in the middle of a small clearing, his pants rolled up to his knees, the top five buttons of the white shirt he wore under his uniform vest, open on his pale chest. He was standing half turned towards the camera, shooting through the water surface with his right foot, the sun illuminating him from behind, it's light reflecting in the water drops, making them shine like diamonds all around Stiles. The mask he wore was made of silk, in shades of blue, green and silver, ornamented with see through, clear crystal beads. The mask was really elegant and effortless at the same time. Just like the picture was. It looked like Stiles was a mermaid or some other aquatic creature coming out of nowhere and appearing in front of your eyes for mere seconds before disappearing back to his aqueous world.

 

The second masquerade picture, _**Earth**_ , had been taken from above and took place in a secluded part of the Preserve. Judging by the light it was late afternoon, but the area was dark and a mist was creeping across the ground, turning the forest a purplish blue-grey color. The result was a strange effect; a dark, twisting shadow and all the trees shielding the ground from the sky's light. The dirt was covered by dead leaves all around, looking almost indigo in this lighting. Coming out of the ground were hundreds of daffodils, their yellow petals piercing the dark halo like bright lights in their surroundings. Amongst them lay Stiles, his vest and shirt open on his chest and stomach, one button of the shirt still done over his diaphragm. The dark hair of his happy trail, starting from his belly button and disappearing into his pants, created a black path on the white skin of his stomach. His right hand, stained by dirt, rested just under the button, still holding his shirt in place, his thumb laced with the fabric, the rest of his fingers slightly curled on the pale skin bare to the eye. On his chest were delicate moles, catching your eye without effort. His left arm was laying on the ground, curling around his head, his hand staying open, palm up it's lines darkened by dirt. Finally, the boy held his head slightly turned towards the hollow of his arm, his eyes looking right through the lens of the camera. The mask he was wearing resembled those small delicate venetian masks, but here was only made of lace. Pure white, pale yellow and hints of bright yellow threads, remembering the colors of the daffodils, all linked together and softly caressing the skin of Stiles' face. His gaze piercing like never before, his long lashes looking black around the shapes of his eyes.

 

Lydia had trouble suppressing the shudder that came over her at the sight of that picture.

 

The next picture, ** _Air_** , showed Stiles standing on big a rock, overlooking Beacon Hills, the city extending itself in the horizon at his feet.

That picture had been taken at sundown, the last minutes of it and licking twilight. You could already see the lights of the town lighting up, like a million of little candles lighting at the same time and drawing a constellation of bright dots, like stars, in the scenery. The mask Stiles wore was jet black, it's material looking soft and deep like velvet, covering half of Stiles' face, his forehead barely visible behind small gradient black to midnight blue feathers. Wind was blowing gently, giving some movement to the boy's hair and feathers on the mask. The only point of light in the mask was the almond shape contouring Stiles' whiskey-brown eyes. Specks of gold covered the entire shape and brought out Stiles' eyes incredibly. In this picture he looked like a king, a sleek silver sword in his left hand pointing at the ground. Reigning on the night itself and Beacon Hills at his feet serving him like a king's subjects. Stiles was half naked in this picture, his dark blue, almost black, pants riding low on his hips, and Lydia was actually really surprised by the chiseled chest, broad shoulders and the perfectly defined abs Stiles had. She’d never imagined him to have such a beautiful and slenderly muscled body under his large clothes, she’d only ever thought him to be a skinny, rangy kid. To say that was she surprised was an understatement!

 

"So? What do you think?" Stiles asked, tearing her out of her thoughts. She was still speechless and she looked at him with wide eyes, her mouth slightly open trying to formulate all the thoughts clouding her mind at that very moment.

"I...I...really don't know what to say. I'm speechless, Stiles. Seriously. These are breath taking. Derek is so talented and you are..."

"What, stupid, hideous, a waste of film?" Stiles said, trying to joke, when in fact he felt really concerned about what Lydia though.

"No! No, you don't look stupid at all, Stiles. On the contrary, you look so..." She fell silent, searching her extensive vocabulary for the right words to describe Stiles like she saw him in those pictures,

"Mesmerizing!" She said. "You’re mesmerizing, Stiles. Stunning. And real!"

"Well...um... Thanks... I guess. But it's really all Derek's work, I just stand in front of him while he shoots."

“True, Derek deserves praise for the positions and lighting but his camera can’t fake these expressions, Stiles. I can feel the emotions _you_ were feeling when he was taking these pictures, you have such a presence, a realness that wouldn’t be there if it wasn't coming from you in the first place! You really need to learn how to take a compliment."

 

Stiles didn’t say anything as she gave him back his phone and his gaze fell on the last picture. Derek had chosen to call it ‘ ** _The Protector_** ’ because he felt the picture told the story of ‘ _Stiles, the Protector of the town_ ’, protecting the people of Beacon Hills from monsters. Stiles had joked that it was fitting since he was always the one saving the werewolves when shit hit the fan.

 

Stiles thought of when Derek had showed him the pictures, how he had had a hard time dealing with what came out of them. Today, he still had a hard time believing Derek when the man told him how attractive and hypnotic Stiles was on film, how intense and true he really was deep down inside and how his pictures were only the reflection of what Stiles already was.

 

_Were they right? Was he really the beautiful person the photos showed him as? Had he really let other peoples opinions of him cloud his view?_

 

He was torn from his thoughts when he saw Lydia move. Getting up she gave him a reassuring smile, a happy expression on her face, like she was actually proud of him and that warmed Stiles up. Then she made a small gesture with her head before going to meet Aidan.

 

Stiles sat silent, lost in his thoughts again, her words replaying in his head and mixing with Derek's. _Was he allowed to believe them? To trust them and acknowledge that they were totally right about him? Was it okay to start changing his opinion of himself, to see himself as he was instead of how he thought others saw him?_

 

He’d been _lost_...was still lost, and was afraid to believe them. But he felt like he was finally taking steps to get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **My tumblr** : [TheShiWolf](http://shinhia304.tumblr.com/)


	6. Can I stay tonight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **My Tumblr: _[Theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)_**

Spring break was there. Finally. Stiles welcomed the holidays with open arms. He seriously needed the break. From school, the stress of applying to colleges, studying for upcoming tests and exams, and ( _he was sad to say it_ ) he really needed a break from Scott and all the drama that had been going on since Allison and Isaac made it official and started dating.

Don't get him wrong, he was supportive of his best friend and would always be there for Scott, no matter what. But since the guy turned into an alpha, most of the time, Stiles felt like Scott was even more blind than before. Almost selfish, to be honest.

So yeah, Stiles was always there for Scott, supporting him, comforting him, listening to all his drama and self-centered dilemmas but never once since... _ **then**_...had Scott asked him anything, shown any interest in how Stiles was feeling since their deaths, never seemed to ask himself how Stiles had been dealing with the aftermath of their sacrifice. If Scott  _had_ asked him, then he would have known how exhausted and wrecked Stiles really was.

 

 _Pretending_ was easy when they were at school, Stiles only had to paste a small smile on his face when needed to reassure his friend, but when he was home and all alone nothing helped him. His loneliness was the perfect trigger to... _**The Darkness!**_

 

It had started the night Jennifer was killed, along with Kali's death and Deucalion being chased from town. And then the next morning Scott had called to tell him Derek was gone. 

That night the Stilinski men were unable to sleep and so they spent it on the couch, sharing ice cream, Stiles forgetting to care about his dad's arteries for one night. They talked that night. Talked a lot. About everything, going back to the beginning. Stiles was finally able to relieve himself of the weight of all those secrets. He told his dad about Laura, how they had dug up her grave next to the Hale house, how she had appeared to them as a wolf before returning back to her human shape. He explained how Scott had been bitten by Peter ‘ _The Beast_ ’. Then he told him about how he had searched all he could find to help Scott control the wolf and deal with his new life. How he had felt left out once Allison had come into their lives. He talked about Jackson, Matt, the Argents, Gerard beating him up, the Alphas, everything.

 

Finally, not really knowing why he waited till the end of his speech, he talked about Derek. He confessed how he had misjudged Derek from the start, jumping to conclusions and accusing him of being Laura's killer. How he still felt guilty about that, cause he had only added to the pain Derek was already experiencing at the time. He told him how at the beginning he had felt intimidated by the man, how he was afraid of him but how, strangely, he couldn't keep away. Couldn't stay out of Derek's way. He told his dad how Derek had turned Erica, Isaac and Boyd not because they were teenagers and easy to convince, but because he felt close to them and could relate with their loneliness, and how losing them had tore Derek apart, especially Boyd's death. He told his dad how their relationship had change since Scott's bite, how from scared of the man he had come to rely on him on the battlefield knowing Derek would always have his back, would always put himself in the crossfire if it meant protecting them, Stiles included.

Lastly, Stiles confessed how he had come to feel close to Derek in more ways than he ever thought it to be possible, how he could understand Derek more than anyone because he too had had to face a death in his family.

His dad had listened to him quietly, letting him talked freely, only asking questions during breaks or when Stiles looked at him, his eyes asking the man if he needed some clarity.

Stiles knew then, after that talk, that his father thought things differently. Saw Derek differently, and somehow, without being able to explain why, Stiles had felt relieved.

 

For a few days everything is fine, ( _or seems to be_ ), and Stiles starts to wonder if Deaton wasn’t just trying to scare them. But then, the hallucinations started! Seeing things that were crazy and unreal, falling asleep in class when in reality he wasn't sleeping at all but in some kind of a trance, darkening the pages of his notebook with ‘ _ **Wake Up!’**_ scribbled all over.

There was the constant and overwhelming feeling of having deceived the ones he’d loved and lost and was now seeing them as if they were ghosts coming to haunt his life. 

And finally, his inability to close his eyes at night. He couldn't remember his last night of real good sleep, the kind you didn’t wake up drenched in cold sweat after one more horrible nightmare,heart beating violently in his chest, the darkness surrounding it a suffocating feeling. In those moments, when he woke up all startled and scared, it was like losing to _the_ _Darkness_ , losing his breath, losing the ability to fight back and push it all away. He was incapable of defending himself. Could just lie there and be crushed by the weight of the fright he was wrapped up in. He couldn't move or breathe at all, he could only stare, completely paralyzed, as _the darkness_ took possession of his self. His soul. His body. His everything.

 

The worst nights were when his father was on night shift, and Stiles was left all alone in his house. Then the nightmares were always a little worse, a little more twisted. This time he’d seen it so clearly, even smelt it without a problem. His mother had survived cancer and was having tea with Talia Hale, at the woman's house. Stiles didn’t know why his mom would be having tea with Talia at the Hale house. All he was sure of was that she was there, and Derek was there too. Then the fire started. Stiles could feel the burning warmth of the flames brushing his sensible skin, and he was standing there completely paralyzed, unable to move a limb to go help them, he couldn't even scream, no sound would came out of his mouth no matter how many times he tried to shout. He was helpless, forced to watch the house burning down slowly into the night, the grey smoke of the fire reaching up to lick the starless black sky. Then…

Then Stiles woke up screaming his mother and Derek's names.

 

It was at that very moment that he decided to search for Derek. He needed to know where the ex-alpha was, needed to know if he was safe. Stiles didn't question himself why that need was so crucial, he only was sure that it was what he needed to do. And it helped. Searching for hours and hours. Losing himself in something meaningful had helped with keeping him sane enough to keep going on with every day life. But sometimes... Sometimes like tonight, the nightmares of that burning house or his mother dying in the hospital would come and strike again. Waking him up on a strangled cry.

 

Shaking violently, Stiles tried to catch his breath. He couldn’t call for his dad, as the man was working the night shift for two weeks. Forcing himself to move his frozen limbs, he managed to get up and grab his hoodie from the back of his computer chair. He put it on, then, not really knowing how, found his keys and wallet, put on his shoes and went downstairs. In a blur he saw himself leaving a note for his dad, in a very shaky handwriting.  

Still fighting against the darkness he could feel flowing inside of him like the stream of a violent river, he got out of the house. Still unable to think clearly, he saw himself get into his car and turn on the engine, next thing he was aware of he was parking in front of Derek's building and quickly found himself banging on the man's door. Then Derek was standing in front of him, looking like someone who’d just been woken up from a deep sleep. His eyes widened when he took in the sight of Stiles in front of him, disheveled, sweaty and looking completely lost.

“Can I stay the night, please?” The boy asked in a shaky voice. 

Derek took his hand and pulled him inside, closing the door behind them and turned to ask Stiles what was going on.

“What happened?”

“Can we not talk about it, right now... I feel like I'm gonna lose it!”

“Okay. Okay. Come here. Good. Breathe. Calm down, I'm here. I'm here. Not going anywhere. You don't need to be scared anymore.” Derek said gently, his mouth in Stiles’ hair, as he held him close, wrapped tightly in his arms. Stiles felt warm instantly, and safe, like nothing could happen now that Derek was there. And maybe that's what made him lose complete control of his barriers, and there, in the strong arms of his _**friend**_ , he broke down.

 

He cried. Cried for hours, it seemed. Cried all he had kept inside for so long. Cried like he couldn't have with anyone else, cause it felt like no one cared at all. Felt like he was alone. Abandoned. By his best friend, his friends. Everyone. Ashamed, though, that he couldn't go find his father to talk about _**it**_. Because he was scared. Because he was broken. Because his dad had already had enough, and Stiles didn't have the courage or the will to go and add more shit to his dad's troubles. So he kept it all inside. Kept everything locked, pushing it away the best he could. The longer it was possible for him to hold on. But feeling Derek's warmth... It was too much. He just couldn't fight it anymore when he felt so safe. He needed to release the pain, he needed to do it or he was afraid he would go totally crazy.

 

“Shh...you're safe here. It's okay. You're safe with me, baby. I’ve got you. I'm not letting you go. I won't let go, Stiles.”

“Derek.” he whispered in a shuddering voice.

“I'm right here. Right here with you.”

 

_How long did he cry?_

_Was it Minutes?_

_Hours?_

 

He had no idea, it was all a blur. What he did registered though, was Derek taking his hoodie off of him, and slowly guiding him to the bed. _Then,_ them lying down, and Derek still close to him. The man taking him in his arms again, holding him tight against his body, letting him cry until he fell asleep, exhausted. He fell into a deep slumber, where nothing could reach him. He knew that, right there, in this man's arms, he was safe. A feeling of security he hasn’t felt in a very, very long time settling over him.

 

*

 

When Stiles woke up, morning was reaching its end, and Derek was still sleeping next to him, a possessive arm wrapped around his back, keeping him from going anywhere. The next thing Stiles registered though, was that he desperately needed to use the bathroom and empty his full bladder. Untangling himself slowly from Derek's tight grip, he finally found liberty and went to release himself.

Once he was done, he washed his hands and came across his reflection in the mirror. The sight of sunken cheeks, dark circles and pale flesh greeted him. He felt as horrible as he looked, it seemed. Exhaling slowly, he washed his face, and took a new look at his reflection, it wasn’t much but he already felt a bit better. Leaving the bathroom he went back to the principal room of the loft. Went to the bed and took in the sight of Derek, sound asleep, all wrapped up in his covers. A smile grazed his lips at the view. Turning his head, his eyes searched for his hoodie that he found not far from the bed, he went for it and found his phone in his pocket, then came back to the bed and took apicture of Derek sleeping. He looked so peaceful, so free and different from when he was awake, that Stiles wanted to keep that memory forever. Watching him sleep a few more minutes, he finally went to the kitchen in search of something to eat while waiting for the man to wake up. He found some granola bars in one of the cupboards above the sink, grabbed one then decided to go upstairs to alive his boredom, maybe Derek had left his computer open and Stiles could look at the pictures they had taken so far. 

That's what he did. For almost thirty minutes. Then his attention was taken by all the photo albums lined up on the big shelf next to the door, all sleek black covers, except for one. It's white color standing out in the middle of all the others. Stiles got up and grabbed the first album, avoiding the white one that drew his attention like a burning diamond, because something told him he wasn't allowed to look at it without Derek's consent. So he appeased his curiosity by looking at all the others. He quickly lost track of time, all immersed as he was in Derek's pictures, a lot of them being totally new to him.

 

He didn't hear the footsteps coming in his direction, so it wasn’t his fault that he flailed, almost falling out of the chair when Derek’s deep voice pulled him from his deep contemplation,

“So this is where you are, huh!”

Stiles lifted his gaze from the pictures to Derek's face, shooting him a look. Derek smiled faintly back.

“I lost track of time.” He said, blushing like a kid caught in the act.

“I can see that.” Derek answered, sitting next to him. “You looked at them all?”

“Yeah... I couldn't help it. You’re very good.”

“Thank you.”

“Can I ask what's in the white one, though?”

Derek didn't answer, only got up to take the album. He came to sit back next to Stiles and gave it to him, saying,

“You should discover that by yourself, I think.”

Stiles grabbed the leather bound book, like it was a very fragile treasure, and opened it.

“Oh...is that Laura?” 

“Mm...It's all I have left of how she used to look, I guess.” Derek said in a soft voice. Stiles looked at him, and ached for the love he could read on his face. He instantly felt sorry and hurt for him, it seemed losing Laura had been worse than losing everyone else. 

“She was so beautiful.” He whispered, his attention going back to the pictures on the silver pages.

“She was! And so, so funny too. She would have loved you, you know. Had she lived, I know the two of you would have became  _BFF’s_ in no time.” Derek said, a small smile on his lips, his gaze lost in the past.

“I wish I could have known her.” Stiles said, his fingers brushing on one picture where Laura was laughing, her long dark hair flying in the wind, her left hand trying to cover the lens of the camera. The sun was coming from behind her and she looked so beautifully breath taking. Like an angel. “How old was she in this one?” He asked Derek, running his finger on the slightly burnt corner of the picture. 

“Around sixteen I think, my dad took this one. He loved photography, I guess I got interested because of him. This one is one of the few pictures that survived the fire. Just like Laura and I did, I guess!”

 

Stiles kept silent, looking at the picture in front of him, slowly he reached for Derek's right hand next to his. Still without words, he covered it with his own, caressing the soft skin of his palm, his gaze still directed to the picture. A rush of happiness rolled through him when he felt Derek close his fingers around his.

 

“Will you tell me about her, one day? I’d like to know her.” 

“I will.”  

A simple answer. Two simple words, but it was enough for Stiles to be happy and be sure Derek would keep his promise in the future.

 

“Come on _Sourwolf_ , let's go eat something, I'm starving.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **My Tumblr: _[Theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)_**


	7. It feels like we're getting closer!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hey guys! First of all, I want to say thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read, give kudos, and comment on my fic! I really appreciate all the love!**
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> **Secondly, I'm looking for someone to do fanarts or manips of some of the photoshoots (like the elements shoot from chapter 5).**
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> **If you're interested, send me a message on here or tumblr, and we can discuss the pieces I'm looking for. Or if you know an artist who might be interested, please pass along my info so they can get in touch with me. Happy reading!**
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>  **My tumblr :** [Theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)

Stiles had arrived a good twenty minutes early, he had received a text message from Derek the night before asking if Stiles could come by the next day. The text not saying anything else. It was short and direct. Typical Derek.

Not really having anything to do that day, Stiles had awoken early, made breakfast for himself and his dad leaving a plate for when the man woke up, showered and finally left for the loft once dressed.

He hadn't expected Derek to welcome him at the door, dressed in light sweatpants and a light purple Henley. Once again, Stiles thought to himself that Derek had really changed since the first time they’d met. Stiles asked himself if them working together, getting closer each time they spent hours with the other, caused a bit of that change? If in his presence Derek felt relaxed enough to let go and be himself. Be himself as in wearing sweatpants and a colored Henley.

All Stiles knew, was that, after his massive breakdown - _he didn't know how he hadn't had a panic attack that night? Maybe because of how safe he’d felt, wrapped up_ _in Derek's warm embrace?_ \- it felt like whatever was holding him back, whatever had kept him from telling Derek his most intimate fears and secrets, was nearly gone now. Yes, he still felt shy and embarrassed. Yes, he still had apprehensions, but those were nothing to what they had been in the beginning, back when Derek had confronted him at the Hale house.

 

When he looked up next, twenty minutes had passed and Stiles still didn't know why he was there. Derek had let him into the loft before disappearing into the bathroom downstairs. Stiles had quickly climbed the spiral staircase, heading for the studio, wanting to look at Laura's photo book again. 

As he looked through it again, Stiles noticed a figure was present in a lot of the ones Derek had taken while he and his sister lived in New York. Stiles noticed because that one figure was also in numerous pictures he’d seen when searching for Darheel Kee. The man with piercing blue eyes, tattoos, and light brown hair was familiar to the point Stiles wondered if he’d been more than a model and friend to Derek. The idea bugged Stiles greatly, the lick of jealousy burning through his body.

 

Stiles lifted his head when he heard Derek climb the last stairs to the studio. 

"Lost in Laura's pictures again?" The man asked, coming near Stiles.

"Yeah. Again."

"Are you pining for my dead sister?" Derek asked, sounding really serious. The question had Stiles looking at him alarmed, exclaiming quickly,

"What? Of course not! That's... That's just wrong, dude. I'm not pining for her at all."

 

Derek stayed silent a long minute, his face blank of any expression. Then a big smile cracked his face, his eyes shining brightly.

 

"I would have smelt it on you, if you were.”

"Freaking Sourwolf!"

"Shut up, you like it and you know it."

"What did Cora do to you during those six months away? You've become such a bitch..." Stiles said, rolling his eyes dramatically.

Derek, acting offended, slapped a hand against his chest, and exclaimed, 

"Me? A bitch?"

"Yes, you! You heard me, old guy."

"Ow, now you're just hurting my feelings, Genim."

"Don't call me that, I hate that name." Stiles said, blushing slightly, his index fingers pointing in the brunette's direction. The gesture wanted to be intimidating, though Stiles knew his intimidation tactics had never worked on Derek.

Smiling, he said in a low voice, 

"Oh really? Then why do you _shiver_ every time I say it!”

 

Derek sat down on the ground before him. He grabbed the photo book, his fingers brushing deliberately against Stiles' as he took it from his hands, his eyes falling on the picture of Laura wrapped up in the arms of the same blue eyed man.

 

Stiles couldn't stop his reaction to that touch. He felt it so deeply, so intimately, burning against his flesh. His breath caught in his throat, and it left him feeling dry and suddenly very thirsty. His hands shook but he tried to hide them from Derek's gaze. And when he met the mans eyes, he was left speechless for a while, hypnotized by how wet Derek's lips looked now that he’d licked them.

 

"So who's the dude in the picture with Laura? He’s in a lot of pictures in the other books, too."

"Why, does it bother you?" 

"What? NO! Nope, not at all, I'm just asking cause he’s in _a lot_ of pictures. Though, to be honest, it does seem like you had a _thing_ going on.”

"And what if I did...?" Derek asked, his eyes boring into Stiles'.

 

Stiles felt small under that stare, naked. The thought of Derek and that guy... It troubled him. Bothered him to think of them, together. It was something he didn't want to know and _had to_ , at the same time; Something he didn't want to think about but that would cloud his mind day and night now. That's why he heard himself say, unable to stop his mouth from spitting the words out:

 

"Do you have a habit of sleeping with your models?"

"What if I do? What would you do, Stiles?" Derek asked in a low, charming voice that came from deep in his throat.

"I... I don't know... Did you? Did you...sleep with him? At least tell me that, please..."

Derek looked at him closely, keeping silent and Stiles worried he wouldn’t answer. Then he felt the brush of the mans left pinky finger on his own, sending shivers though his body and making him feel warm, wanted! 

"No, I don’t have a habit of sleeping with my models. But yes, I was with him. He was my... I don't really know what to call him. Not a rebound, he was so much more than that, but at the same time I always knew it wouldn’t last very long." Derek told him.

 

His gaze was lost somewhere Stiles knew he couldn't reach him. And that thought pained him. So he wrapped his pinky around Derek's, holding tight, secretly wanting the man to come back from his memories and be here with him,  _only_ him. Crazy, how Stiles already felt jealous and protective of the small thing that was his.

 

"What’s his name?" Stiles couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Liam."

"How long did it last?"

"A little over a year. It was two years after I started getting known for my photographs, so about three after... Well, you know."

Stiles shook his head a little, understanding Derek's unsaid words.

"Was it worth it, even if it didn't last?"

"It was, yeah. Every day spent with him was worth it."

"Then... Why? How?..."

Derek looked at him, understanding shining in his eyes, and said,

"One day, we woke up and it was over. Just like that. Just like a lot of relationships end, because the road you were traveling on has separated and became two and you're not following the same path of life anymore."

"Do you still have contact with him?"

"No. Not anymore." Derek’s eyes grew sad.

"Why not?"

"He never told me when we were together; he had a very rare illness attacking his body from the inside, consuming him slowly. Laura and I, we never even smelt that he was sick. And then one day we were having a spaghetti night over at the apartment and the next morning we got a call from his brother saying that he was gone. Just like that, he went to sleep and just never woke up." 

"Derek, I'm sorry." Stiles whispered, hurt by the story. He felt guilty for having been so jealous of the poor guy who clearly had enjoyed life to the fullest and had a smile so bright it seemed to light every picture he was in.

"It's okay. Of all the losses in my life, Liam is the only one I could accept and grieve for. Because it's life, you know, sometimes it's like it's just meant to be that way."

 

Stiles said nothing, what could he say really, every word in the world would be pointless to that. So he kept silent. He felt like a gesture only could console Derek, show him he was there and grateful Derek had opened up to him, shared something so intimate with him. Slowly, his touch made of tenderness, he cupped the left side of the mans jaw, his thumb caressing the barely there stubble under it. Derek had been shaving more often since coming back, and most of the time looked like he had when they’d met in the preserve two years ago. Soft and hard at the same time.

Derek let himself go for a second, leaning into the touch, eyes closed. Oh, how he’d dreamt to feel Stiles' hands touch him like this. But, he still couldn't give in. Not now. He had to wait, Stiles was still too fragile. What they had was still too fragile. And things were still too... Raw, to let go of right now. 

So he looked into the boy amazing eyes one last time, then got up to go to his computer.

 

"Last night I was looking at the ‘ ** _Masquerade Elements_** ’ set we did and there's still one picture we need to take for it to be complete."

"Fire."

"Yeah, fire." 

“Okay.” Stiles whispered. He’d known when Derek had suggested an elements theme, that they’d have to talk about using fire, but he wasn’t sure how to bring the subject up. He took a breath then said,

“If, and I'm only saying _**if**_ , we were to take pictures for that element, it would involve some real fire at some point, right? Just like the other elements? Would you be okay to work like that? Would you be able to, you know,  _watch_ me play with fire?”

His eyes locked on Derek', searching for answers he wasn't sure he’d find in those pale greenish orbs. Derek kept silent, the moment dragging on for what seemed like forever, until the man turned away, going to put Laura's photo book back on the shelf in its usual place with all the others. His fingers lingered on it's leather cover, a shuddering breath escaping the mans mouth before he said softly,

 

“I guess we just found the real work we have to do for me.”

 

Stiles felt goosebumps creeping over his skin, slowly, like he was trying to tame a wild animal. Walking towards Derek, he stopped a few inches from him. Lifting his hand he put it gently on the mans shoulder, a flashback of that same gesture months ago clouding his vision for a fleeting second. He felt the warm skin under his touch, the muscle tightening before going loose, and he could also feel the rise and fall of Derek's breath.

 

“I miss her, you know. I miss them all. Everyone I lost.” 

“Derek...” he whispered, stepping closer.

“When you came by that night, you looked so frightened, so broken and I couldn't help it. I was scared for you. It felt like if I didn't take things in to my own hands, if I didn't take care of you, then you would disappear too. I’d wake up one day and you'd be gone... Just like every one else. That's why I couldn't say no when you came to ask for my help.”

 

Stiles let out a shaky breath, he’d never imagined those were the reasons Derek had agreed to do this. He hadn’t thought he meant that much to the man.

Shaking, a tight ball growing in his gut, he let his hand wander down Derek's arm, caressing the bare skin of his forearm. He felt the goosebumps under his fingers, felt the hair on that arm raise just because of _his_ touch. He took a step and found himself pressed against the muscular back of the man. His left hand, moving on its own it seemed, lifted to rest on Derek's left hip. He moved closer, so that he could press his nose in between Derek's scapula and take a deep breath of the unique sent that was Derek Hale. The tips of his fingers brushed against the top of Derek's hand, and finally his fingers linked with the mans. His left hand tightened its hold on Derek's hip bone. 

The moment felt like it was stuck in time, like the world had stopped turning on its axes and the only thing that mattered now, was them, together at that very moment.

 

“You're precious, you know.” Derek said softly, his voice sounding tighter than usual, like his emotions were all trapped in his throat, in his words. 

“You are too, Derek. You're very precious to me!” Stiles said back, his voice muffled by Derek's shirt.

 

Derek turned around, his eyes met Stiles', then lingered further down on the teens face, absorbing every detail before coming to rest on his rosy lips.

Excitement filled Stiles, his heart beating quickly, furiously in his chest. He felt like, this moment, was the turning point of their relationship, and Stiles would go crazy if something didn’t happen in the next five second.

Derek let his senses be overwhelmed by Stiles scent, the feeling of his skin touching his, the sound of his raging heartbeat and shuddery breathing. The next thing his senses registered, his hands were cupping Stiles’ face, the thinner body pressed tightly against his own and their lips meeting half way…

 

Stiles had never felt like this, so awake, so fragile yet strong at the same time, like he owned the world. It was like being sad and extremely happy both at the same time, and everything else disappeared leaving only him and Derek... **_Kissing_**!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **My tumblr :** [Theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)


	8. Facing Papa Stilinski!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hey guys! So I'm posting this demand again;**
> 
>  
> 
> **I'm still looking for someone to do fanarts or manips of some of the photoshoots _(like the elements shoot from chapter 5)._**
> 
>  
> 
>  **If you're interested, send me a message on here or tumblr, and we can discuss the pieces I'm looking for. Or if you know an artist who might be interested, please pass along my info so they can get in touch with me. Happy reading!**  
>   
> 
>  
> 
> **My Tumblr:**  
> [theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)

_Kissing Stiles had been..._ No word was strong enough to describe what Derek felt the moment their lips had touched. His mind was still reeling from the kiss almost two weeks later. His feelings were all over the map, and he was afraid.

What Derek knew though, was how _perfect_ it had been. Holding Stiles so tight, close to his body, feeling his lips move under his own, the tip of his shy tongue caressing his, his panting breath and the sound, _the feel_ of his heart beating so fast against him. How all that had been perfect. Had been so... _**right.**_ That was what he had unconsciously searched for all his life. Never before, with anyone, had he felt like Stiles could make him feel.

Stiles made him shiver, _tremble_ , he made him dream, laugh, want to smile all the damn time, cause he couldn't help thinking of him. Only him. He wanted to open up and liberate himself after holding his soul prisoner for so many long years. Stiles made him _believe_ again. Stiles made him feel so damn alive.

Yes... _**ALIVE.**_

It felt like every one of his cells had suddenly awoken from a very, very long, deep sleep. Like his blood started boiling along with all the crazy feelings Genim _‘Stiles’_ Stilinski was able to make him feel.

 

However, despite all his feelings, despite how happy he felt with Stiles, a big part of him wanted... _needed_ to take things slow. He needed to take baby steps because this was way too important to go and risk having everything explode in his face. He doubted it, especially after _**it**_ happened, but with his past, he needed to be careful.

It was the reason he hadn't brought up the kiss this past week and a half, to be sure they were doing this right. And Stiles was still so young; He could feel attracted to Derek now, but he was only eighteen years old. An eighteen year old _**human**_. So, so totally, completely _**human**_. Derek had to be careful, watch out for himself, do a better job this time than he had in the last ten years.

That's why he was making this decision. An invitation had come in the mail, and after spending two days thinking it over, thinking everything over, he knew what he needed to do next. If he ever wanted what he had with Stiles to be real and serious, then he had to prove to this town that he had changed, that he wasn't to be feared, that he could be trusted. And that meant starting with the most important person in Stiles' life;

 

_**The sheriff!**_

 

 

Derek parked in front of the police station, turned the car off, and felt the pockets of his jacket, checking one last time, making sure he had it with him. Then, releasing the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, he opened his door and got out of the Camaro. He walked into the station, going for the deputy placed at the reception desk. Derek tried to ignored the looks that were thrown his way, and smiled gently instead, hoping it hid how nervous he really felt.

 

“Hello.” He said to the blond woman behind the desk. She frowned tightly, eyeing him up and down. No doubt she had heard of him and recognized his face.

“Hello, what can I do for you?”

“Uhh... Is the sheriff in?” He asked, feeling a bead of sweat run down his spine.

“Do you have an appointment?” The blond said, still eyeing him suspiciously.

“No, but I’d like to talk to him, if that's possible.”

“About?”

“It's kinda private.” 

“I'm afraid you'll have to wait, if it's nothing important.” The blond replied, cold as a damn grave. 

“Please,”

Derek thought about kissing Stiles, about how perfect it had been. Thought of how he’d felt the moment their lips touched. He needed to see the sheriff, to get his permission. His future was at stake here.

“It is important, Miss…” He paused a second to look at her badge, “Miss Lenox. I really need to talk to him, it’s about his son. Could you, please, see if it's possible for him to see me today.”

 

Maybe it was his insistence, the mention of Stiles or his determination, he really didn’tknow, but the woman finally nodded, tearing her eyes from him. Derek allowed himself to breath more freely when she said,

 

“I'll go see if the sheriff can see you. Stay here.”

 

 _As if_ _he was_ _going to leave after all that._

 

He waited five minutes that seemed like five hours before Deputy Lenox made her way back to the desk, her face still closed off.

 

“The sheriff can see you now, please follow me.” She said, before showing him back to the sheriff’s office.

 

He followed without a word, feeling the weighty gazes of the other people in the station. Deputy Lenox stopped abruptly at the door with the word ‘Sheriff’ embossed on it and knocked.

 

“Come in.” Said the distinctive, masculine voice of Sheriff John Stilinski.

“Mr. Hale to see you, Sheriff.” Deputy Lenox said before holding the door open for Derek.

 

Derek was dreading the conversation he was about to have, but he knew enough about John Stilinski to know that he'd appreciate being asked permission to take Stiles on a trip. He was doing it at the Beacon Hills police station because he wanted the Sheriff, and anyone else who thought they knew him, to see that he had good intentions only. Derek entered the office, Deputy Lenox closing the door behind him, and he breathed deeply once more. God he found this man so intimidating.

 

“ _Derek!_ Hello.”

“Uhh... Good morning, sir.” He said, hoping the shaking he felt all over couldn’t be heard in his voice. John seemed amused to see him there, but kept a really serious expression on his face nonetheless.

“Sit down, son, you look like you're about to faint.”

Derek, happily, did as told, fearing his legs wouldn't hold him through everything he had to say to this man.

“So? You have something to tell me about Stiles? What’s going on? What kind of trouble is he in now?” John said, curious and asking himself what Stiles might have done... _**Again.**_

“He isn’t in any kind of trouble. Uh...Sir...” Derek answered, shaking his head slightly.

John's brows furrowed, not getting what this was all about if Stiles wasn’t in trouble.

“I don't know if Stiles told you or not, but he and I have become friends over the past few months.”

“So, you're the stranger he won't talk about. Somehow, I'm not surprised.” The man said, crossing his hands on the desk in front of him. This was going to be interesting; He could already tell that much by watching how nervous Derek was; Derek who hadn’t blinked once when he was being accused of his sister's murder.

“Uhh, yeah.” Derek admitted, then added, “I've been helping Stiles; We've been helping each other, to be honest, for the last few months. Since I came back to town.

“After everything that happened last year, and in our past… I believe we were meant to be in each others lives.” Derek tacked a ‘Sir’ on the end of his sentence.

 

Derek took the envelope out of his pocket and put it on the desk, pushing it a bit in the man’s direction. John went for it, curious, and he threw a look at Derek when the brunette continued speaking,

 

“After…” Derek stopped, the pain was still hard to deal with even after all these years. He looked up at John and saw an understanding there; he didn’t have say anything, Stiles had already explained all about werewolves and what had happened, he knew.

“Laura and I moved to New York, we both needed a fresh start. I blamed myself. After a few weeks, one of my teachers suggested photography as a way to express what I couldn’t say. Laura bought me a new camera, the one I used before burnt in the fire, and I spent the next few years learning all about taking pictures. One day, years ago, a gallery owner saw a few of my pictures by accident and she offered me a showcase. I’ve been very fortunate.” He paused, his face glowing with pride.

“By the time I got back to town, Stiles being Stiles, had found out about my work. He had questions and has shown an interest.”

“And what does that have to do with this?” John asked, holding up the envelope.

“I’ve been invited to do an exhibit in New York, and I’d like to take Stiles, sir. I think he’d enjoy it, and it could be good for him to be away from Beacon Hills for a little while, after what happened. I’m sure you’ve noticed he hasn’t been the same.”

“Of course I did, but he won't talk to me about anything, no matter what I say or do." John admitted, looking wounded that his son was suffering and wouldn't talk to him about his problems.

“He doesn't want to burden you even more, sir.”

“I'm his _father_ , it's my job to be burdened by his problems.” John answered, pain shining in his eyes. The man looked tired, Derek noticed.

“I know, sir. But for what it's worth, know that I'm helping him the most and best that I can.”

“You being here alone shows me that you are, son.” John said, a reassuring smile on his lips. His fingers closed on the envelope again. Exhaling loudly, he opened it and took a look at the invitation inside. It was addressed to Darheel Kee and guest.

“Okay, tell me more about the exhibit.”

“It's in two weeks, sir - ”

“Call me John, Derek, I have a feeling we’re going to be getting to know each other a lot better.” The man said, cutting him off, before motioning with his hand to continue in a way that reminded Derek of Stiles.

“Uh, thank you, J-John.Yeah, so, it's in two weeks. The exhibit opens Saturday night, but we’d need to leave early Friday morning, I still need to go over a few of the pieces.”

“Stiles would miss school?”

“Only for one day, sir... Uh I mean, John.” 

John looked thoughtful for awhile then nodded.

“Okay, and then..?”

“So. We'll leave Friday morning and come back Sunday evening, early enough so that Stiles won't be tired for school on Monday. I’m planning to show him the best parts of the city, distract him from all the crazy stuff that happened over the last year.”

“Where will you be staying?" John asked, to be honest that's what he feared the most. Stiles was still young and let's face it,  _he knew his son_. 

“My agent made the reservations. The gallery is paying for everything. They booked me a suite in a hotel near the gallery. Separate rooms of course.”

“Uh huh. And you’ll call me if anything happens to my son while you’re there?”

“Yes, of course. I'll take care of him John, you really don't have to worry. Stiles is safe with me.” Derek said with honesty.

 

John exhaled deeply, his decision already made. He knew, he could see it, Derek would take care of his son. Would do everything to keep him safe no matter what. Plus, there was something reassuring knowing Stiles would have a bad-ass werewolf bodyguard to watch over him in the streets of New York.

 

“Okay. You have my blessing, you can bring Stiles with you to New York. How much is this trip going to cost me?”

“The gallery paid for the plane tickets and the hotel, and I’m taking care of all the spending money. The trip won’t cost you or Stiles anything. My agent sent the plane tickets along with the invitation to the exhibit, if you’d like to see them.”

“Seems like you couldn't say no, son.” John joked, happy to see Derek smile in return. The man was starting to relax.

“Yeah, she doesn't take ‘No’ for an answer. But I don't mind, I love my job and this exhibit is really important to me, more so than the others before it.”

“How so?” John asked, curious.

“Half of the money earned for the pieces that sell will be donated to an association taking care of orphans who, like me, lost their parents in tragic situations or from illness. Being able to help those kids is very important to me. I could never have declined the invitation.”

“You've grown into a really respectable and good man, Derek. I'm happy to witness how much you've changed over the years.”

“I guess when you meet the right people then...” Derek said, his gaze lost in the horizon behind the sheriff's back.

“Yeah, the right people can make all the difference.” John agreed, and they lapsed into a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts for a few minutes. Then John continued,

“Well, if there’s nothing else to talk about, Derek, I have some work to get back to.”

“Uh... No, sorry. I'll leave now. Thank you for allowing me to take Stiles to New York, sir.”

“It's John.”

“Huh... John.”

“Besides, I'm happy Stiles has you by his side these days.” John said, standing up and offering his hand to Derek.

“I’m the lucky one, s - I mean, John. Thank you again,I'll see you soon, I guess.”

“Yes. Goodbye, son. I’ll leave you to share the news with Stiles." 

“Ah, yeah. Thank you. Have a good day.”

“You too, son.”

 

*

 

The flight to New York had been anything but peaceful, Stiles amusing himself like a four year old by practically vibrating in his seat. He looked all around, touched everything, and kept up an incessant stream of chatter, all this under Derek's amused gaze.

 

“You're worse than a kid.”

“Can you blame me? This is my first time on a plane. Plus, I still can't believe my dad agreed to this. I still can't believe you actually went to the police station to ask him, for him to agree to this.” Stiles said with a laugh.

“Well, I figured it was better for me to ask him first, rather then come home to his gun.” Derek was only half joking.

“Yeah, but did you really needed to go to the station? I mean, you could have totally come by the house and asked him.”

“No. It's better this way. Now your dad knows this is really important to me, that I'm not holding any grudges, given our past, and that he can be reassured you’re safe with me.” Derek said, his eyes darkening, his grumpy face back in full force.

 

Stiles smiled, he had missed that face, to be honest. Sitting back in his seat, he met Derek's eyes and said,

 

“He already knew that. He knows that I'm safer with you then with anyone else.”

 

Derek kept silent, touched by Stiles’ words.

 

The rest of the flight went by unnoticed, and at some point, tired of moving about, Stiles finally fell asleep, exhausted by their late night trip, his head falling on Derek's shoulder.

They’d had to leave late Thursday night rather than Friday morning like Derek had initially thought they would, to be able to meet with his agent first thing in the morning on Friday. 

At some point not long after drifting off, Stiles moved on his seat to get more comfortable placing his feet under him, pressing his face further in the crook of Derek's shoulder and linking his arms around the mans bicep. 

Derek kept silent watching Stiles sleep for a long time, happy that the teen felt safe enough around him to let go and fall asleep that way. Finally, he too joined dreamland, his head resting on top of Stiles’ hair.

 

*

 

The next thing Stiles knew they were in New York, in the gallery where Derek's work was going to be on exhibit the next day. Stiles was so mesmerize by... _Everything._

The pictures surrounding him in all sizes on the white walls were amazing. But he couldn’t stop staring at the one in front of him, facing the gallery’s entrance. It was a floor to ceiling picture of Laura, facing the camera, breath taking like he’d never seen her before.

 

“Close your mouth, you're gonna swallow a fly.” Said the deep voice, of one Derek Hale, um no...of one Darheel Kee at his back.

“I think I just fell in love with your big sister.” Stiles said seriously, smirking a little when he heard Derek grunt at that declaration. 

“But not in a creepy, lusting way, dude. She's just...WOW! That picture... is so...”

“Breath taking and ethereal?” Derek whispered. 

“Yeah, that.” 

“I know, I think I'm in love with that side of her too, to be honest.”

 

They lapse into silence for a minute, just staring at the picture.

 

“Will you display our pictures too, when we...” Stiles asked, gesturing between them, not wanting to think that all they had done up until now would ever end.

“Maybe. Who knows. We have time to talk about it later, right?” Derek said softly.

 

Stiles look at him closely before directing his gaze back to Laura's portrait. Then he felt a strong hand grab his and Derek, while dragging him towards the door, was saying.

 

“Come on, we still have a lot of things to do today, if we want to have tomorrow free.”

“You’re really not going to tell me what you planed?”

“Nope. I told you, it's a surprise. Now be a good boy and stop asking questions.”

“Yeah, that's your nice way to tell me to shut up.” 

“Yep.” 

“ _Bitch.”_

“ _Brat._ ” 

“ _Freaking Sourwolf.”_  

“ _Little snot.”_  

“Oh my god!!!” Stiles exclaimed with emphasis.

“Actually I prefer 'Oh my _Wolf_.” 

“Who the _Hale_ are you and what have you done with  _my_ Mr. McGrumpy-Pants?” Stiles asked, making big gestures with his hands.

“Stiles...” Derek said, sighing heavily. Rolling his eyes, he took Stiles' hand in his. Knowing the teen like he did, he was sure he could easily lose him in one of the too busy streets in the Big Apple.

 

From the gallery, they went into an arts, crafts, and paint shop, entering and going out just as quick, Derek paying for an order he’d made way before they arrived in the city. Stiles, curious as ever, tried to peek into the bag Derek was holding but he found himself unsuccessful. 

Derek raised a mocking eyebrow when Stiles’ stomach growled on their way out of the shop, before deciding it was time for something to eat. Stiles said curly fries, of course, when asked, and was surprised and happy when Derek just nodded, a tiny smile threatening the corners of his lips, and lead them through the streets.

A couple of blocks later, they were ordering their food in a small _hole-in-the-wall_ diner. Stiles loved the place immediately, and spent the next twenty minutes sending pictures to Lydia via _whatsapp_ on his brand new iPhone5c.

After lunch, Derek asked Stiles what he wanted to see of the city, and they went, even if they had to wait endlessly to go to the top of the Empire State Building or the Statue of Liberty.

They got back to their hotel by six that night. Stiles was exhausted but happy, his body begging for a hot shower and he gladly disappeared into the bathroom when Derek told him to go first.

 

Two hours later, they were being lead to their table in a small, but nice, Chinese restaurant. Derek had told Stiles this was the place he and Laura used to come to every Friday night. 

“So... You still won't tell me what we're gonna do tomorrow?”

“No.” 

“Oh come on, give me a hint at least.” 

“No.” 

“Please, _Der-bear..._ ” Stiles whined, doing his best impression of a drama queen.

Derek blushed violently hearing the nickname, feelings of pain, sadness, shame and longing swamping him.

“Stiles, you can call me anything, literally _anything_ else you want, except that.”

“Why, it suits you perfectly.” Stiles answered, oblivious to the inner turmoil the man was experiencing.

“No... It doesn't.” Derek said, a bit on the whining side.

“What’s the matter, Derek? Did Cora or someone else tease you about your name?”

“No. It's just... I don't like it, okay? Laura and my mom used to call me that all the damn time. It's frustratingly annoying. So... Don't ever call me that.”

“Awww... You were your mommy and Laura’s little _Der-bear_ , that's so cuuute!”

“Stiles!” Derek growled menacingly, his fingers tightening on the porcelain spoon for his spicy Chinese soup. 

“Okay...” Stiles sighed heavily, rolling his eyes to make his point. “I won't call you that anymore... You big McBroody Pants! You're such a fucking spoils sport sometimes.”

“I know. Now, shut up and drink your soup.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **My Tumblr:**   
>  [theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)


	9. In the middle of the night!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it is Thursday today so YAY!!! A new chapter is up, now. Enjoy your reading and leave me a comment to let me know what you thought of it. 
> 
> xoxo  
> Sin.
> 
>  
> 
> PS: It came to me I never put the link to the 8tracks, playlist i made for this fic so here it is : [Can You See Me](http://8tracks.com/shinhia304/can-you-see-me)
> 
>  [My Tumblr](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)

When they went back to the hotel that night, it was in peaceful silence. Stiles walking really close to Derek. So close their hands were brushing with every move.

Derek felt like he was filled with electricity when close to Stiles, felt like time had, somehow, stopped the moment they had gotten on the plane and now was the perfect moment to give way to his desires. But sadly, he couldn't just give in and not care, not _think_ of the aftermath. He and Stiles needed to talk. Problem is he really had no clue _how_ to bring the subject on to the table.

They reached the hotel a few minutes later, and after a moment of slightly awkward silence in the elevator - _the fact that there actually was an elevator operator to get them from ground floor to there suite floor, wasn't really helping them to stay serious._ They got into their suite and Derek closed to door behind them, putting the ‘ _ **Do not disturb**_ ’ sign on the doorknob. From the corner of his eye he saw Stiles disappear in into his room. The teen looked tired, New York seemed to have worn him down way more than they both thought it would, but Derek wasn't really surprised. Most days Stiles still looked very week and wounded, _The Darkness_ inside him using him relentlessly.

He was suddenly torn from his inner thoughts when he felt his phone vibrate in his jeans' pocket.

 

“Hale.” He said in the receiver;  _Damn_ , all he wanted was a hot shower and go lie down.

“Derek, sweet bun, so happy I could reach you.” A woman's voice said on the other end of the line. 

Derek rolled his eyes, going for his bedroom. He toed off his shoes and socks and started undoing his belt. 

“What's wrong, C?” He asked, certain something was wrong at the gallery for his agent to be calling him _now_.

“Oh nothing, nothing honey. Why would anything be wrong?" 

“Because it's after nine pm, and you're using your sweet seductive voice, which, by the way is useless, I never fell for it, I won't start now.”

“Oh sweet cheeks! Don't be like that…" 

“Tell me what's the matter, Cynthia.” He said, cutting her off.

“Okay... There may have been a mixed up with the last shipment that was delivered this afternoon, and I know you won't be able to come in tomorrow as you're spending the day with that sweet vanilla boy of yours. I would really appreciate it if you could come and look it over. I just hope nothing is missing from the delivery cause that would be a freaking disaster…” She said sounding really bothered.

“I'll be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Marvelous! I'll be waiting for you. So... How was your date tonight?” She asked, her goofy smile palpable in her voice. 

Derek sighed heavily then replied,

“It wasn't a date, and would you mind your own business.”

“Oh sweet bun, your business _is_ my business, of course. I only live because of you these days.”

“That's really sad to hear, C. You should really find someone and get laid. Have you ever thought of opening an account on _Plenty of Fish_ or something?” 

“Hey now, don't be mean or I'll force you to go over the entire exhibit one more time.” 

“I wish I'd never met you.” Derek growled.

“Babe, you wish you'd had me in your life since day one.” She replied, deadpan.

Derek choose to hang up there and grabbed his jacket. Putting it on, he opened his bedroom door, almost falling over Stiles, who was standing there, ready to knock.

 

“Oh... You going somewhere?” The boy asked, his smile faltering a bit.

Derek sighed again, he really would have preferred to stay there with Stiles instead of running all over town to fix the mistakes of their fucking delivery services.

“Yeah, Cyn just called. There was a mixed up in one of the deliveries and she needs me to get to the gallery now, check if everything is there and place the pieces in the exhibit. You can stay here, call room service if you're hungry. I'll try not to be too long, okay?” 

“O...okay.” Stiles answered, suddenly feeling uneasy at the thought of staying in their suite alone. 

“Good. I'll keep my phone on, if there's anything you need, call me?”

“Uh... Ye...yeah, I will.”

“Kay, I won't be long. Sorry I have to bail on you tonight, Stiles.”

“No, no it's okay really. Plus everything needs to be perfect for the big night tomorrow. Now, go. The longer you're standing here the longer you'll have to stay there.”

“Right!” Derek whispered, catching Stiles' gaze. God, how he wanted to kiss him. Brushing the boy's hand he said,

“Later, then.”

“Yeah, later.”

 

One last brush, just to feel his warm skin under his fingers, and Derek was out the door, getting into a cab.

 

*

 

“Oh sweet bun, you're here... _finally_. Little Vanilla slow you down?”

“I still don’t know, after all these years, how such nonsense can come out of such a perfect mouth.” Derek said dryly, already pissed to be there when he really wanted to be back at the hotel with Stiles.

“So, what’s the problem?” He asked, gesturing towards to the back of the gallery where the office was. The sooner they started working, the sooner he’d be able to leave and get back to the hotel. Knowing Stiles was alone was making him feel really uncomfortable, but he had no idea why.

“Oh Chéri.” She giggled.

“So the delivery came in this afternoon, like I told you, but I was out so I couldn't go over it until tonight. The gallery owner said the delivery men seemed confused, they were asking about a second package. I checked and I think everything's there but I'm not sure as it's the first time I’m seeing these pieces.” 

“Okay, I'll look through them. Can you tell me if the upstairs room has been prepared yet?”

“Yes, I did it personally.” Cynthia said, standing next to Derek as he went through the pictures he had selected at the very last moment.

“ _So_... I never imagined you as being a Lacrosse fan? Or maybe it's just that one particular player that’s caught your eye. I've got to say he's really breathtaking! Does he know?”

“Know what?”

“That you're head over heels for him, duh...” She said like she was talking to a five years old.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Derek answered, denial always got him out of jams in the past.

“ _Bitch please..._ It's so obvious, like the nose in the middle of your face or the brick wall you're about to walk into.” She exclaimed, her ‘ _Drama Queen’_ mode on full blast. 

“I... We're not in that kind of relationship…” Derek answered honestly.

“ _Yet!_ ” Cynthia sing-song-ed, looking like the fucking Cheshire Cat. She gave them a month before they were sleeping together.

“Please, C.” Derek pleaded, shy, knowing exactly what that smile meant.

“What? Honey, I'm just stating the _**obvious**_. You two, I saw it today, you're meant for each other. And if you're scared because he's young then... _Please_ don't be, he's as smitten as you are!” She confessed. She wasn't blind and she had lived, she knew how to recognize these kind of things when they were put under her nose. 

“Seriously, honey. Give it a shot. I know you'll call me in three months to tell me he's the one. Plus, I'm sure you can feel it already... **The** ** _pull_**.”

“C…” Derek whispered, his voice as weak as one of a trapped animal. He caught Cyn's eyes and knew right then that his own eyes were betraying him.

“ _Oh. My. Fudging. God._ I knew it. He's the one. You found  _ **the one.**_ _O.M.G_ I can't believe it. Fuck, if only Laura was still here, her and I would have the best time watching you and Little Vanilla get together.”

“Okay, okay. Now shut up, and help me. I don't want to spent all night here. And you say nothing of this in front of him, you don't even make hints, you hear me…” Derek threatened.

She smiled wickedly then made the gesture of zipping her mouth, locking it and dropping the key. Derek didn't feel relieved in the slightest, she was the worst. A perfect mix of Laura and Cora. Which means... She was a **menace**  in his life.

“I swear to god, you are worse than Laura ever was. I'm so glad you haven't met Cora yet.”

“Oh didn't I tell you? I sent her an invitation for the exhibit too.” She said, looking closely at her nails, as if she was talking about the weather.

“WHAT?” Derek cried, cold sweat breaking out on his skin. Cora was coming to the exhibit? And no one though the should know about it? Oh my god, her and Cynthia in the same room and Stiles not far away... Why was he suddenly feeling like only a disaster could come out of such a situation?

“Sorry, I guess it slipped my mind.” 

“It sli... It slipped your mind! REALLY? God this is going to be a freaking nightmare if you, her and Stiles end up in the same room. I think we should cancel the exhibit right now.” Derek said, completely freaking out.

“Okay now, stay calm, don't freak out sweet bun, everything will be just fine. And besides, I really wanted to meet her as a good part of this exhibit are pictures of her.”

“You're the devil.”

“Yeah, that's what they say, but let's be honest, that's why they love me.” 

“Shit…” Derek whispered, deciding it was better to go back to work, but he could feel his friend’s creepy smile like it was a burning iron on his skin. God, but tomorrow would be... _Oww_ he couldn't even think of tomorrow.

 

* 

 

Two hours later, they were finally done and Cynthia drove him back to the hotel. They kissed each other’s cheek goodbye and finally Derek could let out a deep breath once back in his and Stiles’ suite.

 

“Stiles?” He asked, but got no answer. The teen might have fallen asleep while waiting for him to return. Derek felt bad, it had taken more time than he’d thought it would, but at least none of the pieces were missing from the delivery.

 

He went for his bedroom and happily changed into sweatpants for the night. He was going to get water from the mini bar when he heard it, a small whimper. Listening closely, he heard it again, the sound coming from Stiles' bedroom. 

Bottle in hand he went for the door, keeping his ears open, ready to burst into the bedroom if he felt Stiles was in too much distress. Another whimper came through the door, louder this time, and he couldn’t resist looking into the room. Derek saw Stiles' body lost in a tangle of sheets, tossing and turning shakily. He didn't procrastinate anymore when Stiles' whimpers changed to frightened sobs, small pieces of words easily audible now.

 

“...no...no! Mom... Don't... Don't go there! Mom! MOM! No! Mom... Derek... Derek... No... _**NO!**_ ”

 

Derek rushed to the bed, shaking the teen hoping he would open his eyes; The urge to wake him up from his nightmare and hold him tight, stronger than ever. It was the first time he was witnessing one of Stiles' nightmares, and it was a frightful vision to witness.

“ _Stiles! Stiles!_ Wake up, wake up baby, _please_. It's just a dream! Come on open your eyes Stiles... _Stiles!_ ”

He growled, seeing Stiles not reacting to a calm voice. He shook him more forcefully and called his name again, a spark of anger present, the way he remembered from before he’d left. Finally, after what seemed like endless hours, Stiles jerked awake, eyes wide open, shaking violently, a strangled cry lost on his lips and tears running down his sunken cheeks. He grabbed his head in his hands, sounding and looking so broken.

“Stiles...” Derek whispered near him. That got him the boy's attention. Seeing him there seemed to tare Stiles out of the remains of his nightmare. His eyes widened extremely as he tried to say, his voice shaking on his words,

“Der... Derek... You're... But...”

“I'm here baby, it's okay. Just a nightmare.”

“No... No... You were... _you were_...”

He couldn't say anything else and broke down in tears. Derek, by reflex, cradled him tightly in his arms.

“Derek... Derek…” He repeated in between sobs.

“I'm here. I'm right here with you.” Derek whispered softly, his hand rubbing circles on Stiles' back to calm him.

 

It took a long time for Stiles to calm down and start breathing normally again. Still clinging to Derek, he pressed his face to the mans shoulder and breathed in his scent, which helped push away his remaining fear.

 

“Derek?” He whispered, his fingers tightening on the hot skin beneath them. He had been so scared; This dream had been so real that now, he had trouble distancing it from reality.

“I'm here, Stiles. With you.” Derek answered, still rubbing the teens bare back.

“No... No, you were dead. You were... You were all dead! And I... I couldn't... I couldn't save you. I had lost you. I...I…”

“Stiles... Stiles listen to me. It was a dream... Only a dream. You're safe, it's over, you hear me!” Derek said, holding Stiles' face tightly between his hands. And those hands were so warm against the boy' damp skin. 

“B-But you... I saw you... You…” 

“I'm fine. I'm fine and safe. I'm here with you and alive and safe, Stiles. Nothing is gonna happen. It was just a dream.” Derek said tenderly, his thumb caressing the cheek bone under it.

His eyes met Stiles', and he couldn't push the sudden wave of protection that rushed over him away. Giving in to his impulse, he bent down a little to kiss Stiles' forehead. He felt the teen shake under his lips, and long arms circled his waist, holding him tight. And from that very moment Derek knew…

 

He knew he could never go back. Could never push away his **_mate._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you all on Sunday for next chapter.  
> [My Tumblr](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)


	10. Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it is Thursday today so **YAY!!!** A new chapter is up, now. Enjoy your reading and leave me a comment to let me know what you thought of it.
> 
> xoxo  
> Sin.
> 
> PS: It came to me I never put the link to the 8tracks, playlist i made for this fic so here it is : [Can You See Me](http://8tracks.com/shinhia304/can-you-see-me)  
>  **My Tumblr:** [theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)

“Can you stay with me tonight?” Stiles asked him, his voice weak, sounding like a small child.

“ _Of course!_ Of course, I'm staying with you.” Derek answered, caressing Stiles' cheek tenderly. “Here, come lie down. Do you want or need anything?”

“Some water, please.”

Derek uncapped the bottle he had brought with him and gave it to Stiles carefully. 

“Here.” He said gently, holding the bottle to help Stiles' hands; They shook so much he feared the teen would spill water everywhere. Not that he cared about the bed sheets, but he felt really protective, and helping Stiles in any way was the most important thing to do right now.

“Thanks.” Stiles whispered after a few mouthfuls.

“How do you feel?” Derek asked in a whisper, his right hand running tenderly through Stiles' locks.

The boy let out a shuddering breath, the trembling of his body calming down gradually. Scooting nearer to Derek's body, he pressed his forehead against the mans clavicle. 

“I...feel relieved, now that you're here.” He admitted, all sense of shame forgotten. He was relieved Derek had arrived in time to wake him out of his nightmare.  _So_ relieved that it was just a dream, nothing else, and that Derek was perfectly fine. It was like he could breathe now, like Derek's arrival had unlocked his ability to draw air into his lungs, air he had needed so desperately while he was stuck in his unconscious hell.

Derek held him tighter after his confession, pressing his nose and mouth against Stiles' skull. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. A feeling of fright, as violent as a freezing cold shower, washed over him at the thought of Stiles being wrapped in his nightmare longer if Derek hadn't come back when he did. Guilt flooded his mind and his wolf pawed angrily at him.

Not able to push Stiles away when the teen was still so shaken, Derek cradled him close and took a deep breath, ready to ask the question he needed to ask now,

“Will you tell me about your dream? Now?” 

Stiles went completely still for a long second, his fingers tightening on Derek's skin so painfully, he felt the sting when Stiles' nails bit into his skin. Derek manage not to wince and waited. Gradually, Stiles was able to calm down his heart beat and regain his motivity. 

“Was it the same dream as last time?” Derek asked softly, carefully. 

Stiles shook his head faintly against Derek's chest, then said in a shaky breath, 

“No. No, it was different this time.”

“Tell me.” Derek whispered, nudging him a bit to show he was safe to talk about this because Derek was there.

“This time it... It was just you and my mom. You were in her room at the hospital, and the doctor... He said... He said it was the end... For her! But then you were there and tried to turn her, it... you couldn't cause you were a beta and then...all the machines in the room starting ringing so loudly it wasn’t possible to be there without covering your ears. My mom...she...her body started heaving violently in the bed and then... Then there was smoke everywhere and flames and things were exploding in the room and... And...” Stiles stopped talking feeling a panic attack forming quickly in his body.

“Stiles... Calm down, breathe, _I'm here_...calm down.” Derek said, his voice steady, his hand rubbing large circles on the teens back, hoping it would sooth him and push the attack away, but it was already there, he could already feel it in Stiles' body, in his breathing and smell it in his scent.

“And then you...you were trapped in the...room...and the fire was growing quickly, mom was coughing because of the smoke...and you were too. And I tried to open the door again and again...but I couldn't...I couldn't cause the handle was burning and every time I tried touching it I was burnt... But I still tried! I was shouting, banging on the door, I could see every thing happening like I was in the room with you and then.... Then it was too late, I couldn't save you. You were gone. You were... Dead! Both of you! I couldn't save you or her... Again.”

 

Stiles dissolved into tears, and felt Derek’s arms tighten around his body as it shook with broken sobs. Whispering, he asked;

 

“Why can't I save you? Why can I never save you? I don't want to lose you... I don't... I don't want to...”

 

Derek felt his stomach twist painfully, he felt so much for Stiles. These dreams, they weren't just the result of the sacrifice, there was more to it than that. It went back far into his past and Derek promised himself he would take the time Stiles needed to get through it, to help him fight his many demons, even if it took him a lifetime.

 

“You won't lose me, Stiles. I promise.” He whispered into his ear.

 

Derek felt Stiles shiver in his arms, then the soft sound of his voice asking,

 

“Did you mean it?”

“What?” Derek asked, lost to what Stiles was referring to. 

“When you kissed me. Did you mean it?”

Derek was taken aback by the sudden question and change of subject. But this moment was crucial for them, his answer would define them and their future, he knew. So he said, never more honest,

“Yes. Yes, I meant it.”

 

Stiles nodded, burying his face back against Derek's chest. Silence fell on them, Derek still rubbing circles on his back, a bit smaller now, the panic attack gone by now. Stiles wished all his nights could be like that... Secure and warm, Derek holding him tight in his big bed. That's what he needed to chase the nightmares away. Would his dad understand if he told him? Would he allow him to spent the night over at the loft? And the most important question, would Derek say yes if he asked him? He was full of uncertainty, to which he didn't hold any answers because he was too afraid to asked the questions to get them.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Derek asked him, breaking the silence of the room with his profound voice. 

“Nothing... really.” Stiles stuttered.

“I don't believe you. It's like I can see the mechanics of your monstrous brain working full speed! Please tell me, you know you have nothing to fear asking me, Stiles.” 

Stiles stayed silent, undecided. Could he really asked him such a thing? Or should he keep quiet and forget the idea? 

“So...?” Derek pushed slightly.

Stiles let out a small breath and decided to take his chances, after all what was the worst that could happen, other than the answer being negative...?

“I... I was thinking how easy it was to push the nightmares away when I'm with you. When I'm sleeping with you! And I was wondering if we could do that more often... If you would be okay with it if I came to sleep at the loft once in a while?”

“Of course I'm okay with you coming over to spend the night, though your dad maybe wouldn't appreciate the thought?” Derek exclaimed, sounding extremely alive.

Stiles was a little stunned before he smiled. He couldn’t believe Derek was saying yes, that he’d want to spend even more time with him. His dad though... Well, he’d just have to figure something out. Some way to make him understand he needed this.

“I think I should talk to him about the nightmares, the trouble sleeping and the panic attacks...” He said, absently tracing patterns on Derek’s chest.

“He’s been waiting for you to come and talk to him. He told me he tried but you weren’t ready and he didn’t want to push too hard.”

“I don't want... Didn't wanted to burden him with more to worry about than he already had." Stiles said, hurt and pain clear in his voice.

“I know, and I told him that. But... He's your dad, he will only get more worried the longer you stay silent. He loves you like crazy, Stiles, you're his whole world, like he's yours, it's only normal he wants to be there for you and help you and listen to you the best he can because you're his son.”

 

Stiles kept quiet, replaying Derek's words. The man was so right, like most of the time lately, a wisdom in his words Stiles had never noticed being there before. Back when they first met.

The silence grew longer, peaceful and relaxed. A thousand thoughts crossed Stiles' mind, but one was recurrent, and after a few minutes, it made him shoot up to sitting, escaping Derek's strong arms.

 

“ _I'm sorry_ , Derek. I'm so sorry I treated you like I did when we first met. I'm sorry I accused you of Laura's murder and for pushing my dad in that direction. I'm sorry I dug up her grave, it was disrespectful of me. And I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain, adding more shit to what you were already going through.”

 

Derek sat up as well, and slowly raised his hand to caress Stiles' arm, feeling the boy shiver under his touch. It was strange, he thought, how getting Stiles' apologies lifted a giant weight from his heart. How it was easier to breath. He hadn’t ever thought that he needed Stiles to apologize, but he was grateful.

 

Stiles breathed out heavily, his emotions swirling thick around them. It was hard to apologize, to find the right words, but now that he had, he felt better about himself, better about them. This was something he should have done a year ago, but he guessed it was never to late to make amends. And it was weird, but all of a sudden, the path he saw connecting him to Derek seemed clearer now that he’d confessed his guilt. He’d been a dick about everything at the time, but now he felt they could move on.

 

“Thank you!” He heard Derek whisper, his hand sliding down to link with his own.

 

He lifted his head and caught Derek's eyes, they were extremely clear and bright, unshed tears shining in them. Stiles shuddered, shocked to witness such intense emotions on Derek's face, emotions the man didn't hide from him anymore, not like he used to. That he felt safe enough to be so vulnerable in front of the teens eyes, made Stiles’ heart squeeze. This was the strongest sign of Derek's trust. Never before, until that very moment, had Derek been so honest, so open about trusting Stiles. Trusting Stiles fully,to let his emotions show raw on his face.

 

“Can you tell me about her, please?” Stiles asked softly.

“What do you want to know?” Derek said, lying back down on his back this time. Stiles followed him staying on his right side, his head resting on his hand. His eyes followed every movement of Derek's face and he said, 

“I don't know... Whatever you feel like sharing with me.”

 

Derek let out a long breath then talked, his eyes lost on the ceiling.

 

“Laura was... Just like my mom. Almost like a replica of her. She was fierce, brave, funny, intelligent, talented, friendly and so beautiful. 

“Everywhere she went, everyone she met, her charm was so natural, she was loved by everyone. She was like you when it came to pop culture; Sometimes the way you quote things, it's like she’s in the room with me. But then, memory catches up and I remember she won't ever be there again." Derek said, his throat tightening violently. 

 

Stiles knew the feeling of pain a person experienced when the realization that the one you'd lost would never, ever come back. He knew, he understood how for Derek, Laura's death was still too raw, too sensitive not to choke on his pain when he mentioned her. Wanting to show Derek he was there, he softly put his hand on the mans heart. The touch felt right, and seemed to appease Derek a bit.

 

“Laura was always my rock, my role model. I wanted to be just like her; Free, chatty, at ease around people! She was _my world_. And then, when it was just her and I, she became _**my everything**_ , really. I know it might sound weird to you...” 

“It doesn't.” Stiles cut in, sincere. Derek turned his head to look at his face, a tiny smile rose to the corner of his lips. Moving, he lay on his side too, so now he and Stiles were face to face.

“Laura was the kind of person that liked chocolate way too much, loud music, fast cars, leather jackets and tight jeans.” 

“Sounds like someone I know...” Stiles said, smiling then added, “Is that a family thing, though? Were you guys all fetishistic of leather jackets, tight jeans, and fast cars?”

“What? No, you idiot!” Derek exclaimed, outraged.

Stiles gave a small laugh.

“No, it was a me and her thing. She was bossy with her baby bro when she wanted me to do her nails, which I did cause the one time I said no,she bit me. She bossed me around a lot, but I decided it was better to do what she wanted me too then to lose every time.

“When it came to our family, Laura was really protective, even more so when it came to Cora and me. Once she even broke a guy's nose by punching him because he'd hit me and I was seven so I didn't dare defend myself because of my werewolf strength! She broke his nose to protect me. That's how she was. Always putting other peoples needs in front of her own. And that quality got her killed.

“You know, after we survived the fire, I was afraid, but I thought nothing could get us the way it did the others. I thought, from now on it's just Laura and I against the world. I thought nothing would ever take her down because she was always so strong. But then she came back here and our uncle... Our own blood, our pack killed her. She always put our pack before everything else, always trusted Peter cause he’d always been true with Laura. Now I've got nothing left of my sister besides memories and some burnt pictures.”

Stiles kept silent, not sure what to say. ‘ _I'm Sorry_ ’ didn’t seem like enough. So instead he reached out, his hand finding Derek's cheek and caressing it gently. At least he knew that gesture could ease a bit of the mans pain.

 

“What was your mom like?” Derek asked him after a long, quiet pause.

“Mom was... Like a ray of sunshine, bright and warm. She was always smiling, like everything in life was a gift for her. And she laughed constantly, when she cooked, when she dance with my dad in the kitchen, when she played with me. She loved to cook, to leave post-its with small messages for my dad all over the house. And she would sing whenever she felt like it, just like that because she was just happy to be alive.”

“How was she with you?” Derek asked. 

“She used to say I was her little Prince! Every day she would bake cakes, cookies or muffins for when I came home from school. She was the one to put me to bed every night and she would imagine all kinds of bedtime stories, cause she thought it was important for me to be able to lose myself in books but also to let my imagination flow.”

Stiles got distant, his eyes lost in the past, a shadow darkening his face, making him look older than his eighteen years. He turned onto his back, trying to fight back the emotions.

“Sometimes it's really difficult to remember thedetails about her,you know. Like the curves of her face, without the pictures I'm not able to remember what she looked like as clearly as I did after she... died! It's the same with her perfume, I can't smell her favorite scent without uncapping the bottle or the sound of her voice, it’s just a whisper in my head.”

“At least you still have material memories of her. You can embellish the ones in your head with them.”

“Yeah, at least I have that.”

“It must have been really tough growing up without her?!” Derek said, letting his fingers run over Stiles' forehead, tracing the teens eyebrows softly, stroking down the bridge of his nose, sweeping across a cheekbone. Stiles let out a breath, Derek could be so careful and gentle with him, contrary to what you would think when first meeting him.

“It was. It really was. But my dad was still there, and he made really great efforts to become the best dad ever, even when he became sheriff. And with the years, the pain eased a bit, cause I had him. As long as I have him still, then I guess I'm alright.”

“I'm glad you have him in your life, Stiles.” Derek whispered. Stiles turned back onto his right side, facing the man and smiled.

“Thanks.” He said.

 

Silence fell on the room then. They kept looking at each other, Derek's eyes boring into his, the mans fingers now running through his hair, while he touched Derek's collarbone shyly. Sighing softly, he asked, his voice suddenly small,

 

“Derek...?”

“Yeah?” The man answered. 

“I want you to kiss me...” He whispered finally, holding Derek's gaze, but trembling inside.

 

Derek kept silent for a while, his fingers stilling in Stiles' hair, thousands of thoughts screaming in his head at that moment, then... Then, he choose to give in to his desire, and to Stiles'. He nodded, the quick twitch of his head that Stiles loved. 

Slowly he bent forward, his face growing closer to Stiles', laying still on his pillow. He felt the soft caress of the boy's breath brushing his lower lip and finally, after what seemed like ages, their lips touched again. Brushing against each other at first, then Derek pressed a little harder, making Stiles whimper under his touch. His left hand left Stiles' hair to run against his spinal cord, his fingers tracing each vertebra on their way. Stiles' fingers tightened against his chest, and when Derek finally reached Stiles' lower back, he dragged him against his body with passion and force, making the teen moan loudly into his mouth. Then Derek opened his mouth, letting his tongue out to force the barrier of Stiles' lips, and when their tongues met... A firework exploded in the room.

Passion grew stronger and stronger quickly. Stiles wrapping his arms around Derek's neck. Derek holding him tight, his left hand on his lower back and his right on the nape of his neck.

 

“Derek...” Stiles moaned into his mouth, as Derek rolled them on the bed, so he was now lying half on top of the teen. Stiles, couldn't hold back his sighs and moans, couldn't hide his shaking under Derek's warm touch, under the delicious pressure of his body, heavier than his own. He wanted the man so much, so badly, his quickly hardening cock, trapped in his sweatpants, was making him crazy. He let his hand wander on Derek's back. _**God**_ , but the man had a wonderful body. Which made him want the werewolf even more. Losing all inhibitions, pushed by the heat he felt expanding in his belly, he let his hands brush Derek's ass. He opened his legs so that Derek fit between them. Kissing him was so amazing. It was exactly what he’d hoped for all his life.

Derek's hands were buried in Stiles' hair, pulling slightly on the brown strands, god he had wanted this so badly. It felt so good to be able to kiss Stiles again, so right to be back in the teens arms that way. 

“Stiles...” He groaned as his mouth moved against the teens neck, finding a sensitive spot just below the teens ear. He then went back to capturing his mouth in another hot kiss. His tongue invading Stiles' mouth.

 

The teen moaned wantonly, his hands gripping Derek's hips tightly, his fingers then found their way under the elastic band of Derek's sweatpants. Feeling Stiles trying to push down his pants, Derek suddenly stilled against him. Pulling back, he said shakily,

“No.” 

Stiles looked at him uncertainly, misunderstanding shining clearly in the depths of his eyes. 

“Derek?” He asked, in an husky voice.

“I'm sorry, Stiles. I can't go that far, now... It's too soon and I…” 

“You need time.” Stiles said, a small smile at the corner of his lips. He caressed Derek cheek and said, “It's okay with me. As long as I get to kiss you whenever I want, cause now that we've done it thrice, there's no way you're escaping my romantic teenage desires.” 

Derek huffed out a laugh, he was relieved Stiles understood and respected him enough to be comfortable with him still holding back. He was afraid that if they went too fast it would ruin everything they were slowly building and to be honest, he wasn't ready to be that intimate with anyone. 

“Is it okay to keep kissing a bit longer?” Stiles asked him, blushing. Derek smiled and said;

“Of course... Come here...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **My Tumblr:** _[theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)_
> 
> Seeing my exams caused me to fall a bit behind on the writing, I will not update on Sunday.  
> The next update might take a little bit of time so that my beta have time to edit what first chapters I already was able to send her.
> 
> Im sorry people, and I hope it won't be too long of a wait for you.  
> I promise Im doing my best to be back on normal schedule.
> 
> See you soon wolvies.  
> Xoxo  
> Sin.


	11. New York, New York!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know lots of you want to see grumpy, sourwolfy, blunt Derek, but right now, the story is following is slow sail.  
> Derek going back to his Sourwolf self will come later in this story. And _not_ with Stiles, sorry.
> 
> Right now the focus is on Stiles and Derek's relationship, and what they are capable of doing to help heal each other the best they can. _That's it for the story._
> 
> For the posting part, I'm posting today cause I was just feeling like it and don't want to let you readers go for weeks without any update. **So, here's chapter 11.**
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy reading it, beware it's full of fluff. Don't blame I'm really trying here, but this story is writing itself on its own, not following my actual chapters plans and schedule. 
> 
> I hope most of you will understand that sometimes it's not you who's directing the story, but it's the story that ends up by completely overtaking you. And lately, that's what this fic has been doing by totally overtaking me and should I say **_overwhelming_** me so strongly, I still feel mostly frustrated with how things are going and the thought that **I may not be filling some your expectations, guys** , for that I'm really sorry. 
> 
> I'm writing because I love it, because of all the good and bad it makes me feel and express when I lose myself in words and lines, those becoming long or less chapters.
> 
> I write for the pleasure of sharing with my readers, of knowing that, somehow, in a minimal way I'm able to bring you, (make you feel), _happiness, joy, sadness, make you tear up, sobs, laugh, exclaim yourself_ , and maybemore other feelings and reactions.
> 
> So, yes, please keep in mind that sometimes things don't always go as planned.
> 
> All of this to say, that yes, this is a special post, kind of, and that I maybe won't be posting next week or if I do it'll only be one chapter and not two like I usually do.
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, now, if you're not too bored by what you just read, it's time for the actual chapter.

When Stiles woke up the next morning, the room was already bathed in sunlight. Smiling, the boy extended his left arm, but only met emptiness. Frowning, he sat up in the bed, sheets pooling around his hips. _Where was Derek?_ He was pretty sure they’d slept together all night. _Had the man had second thought about..._ _ **Them?**_

 _ **No!**_ No, that wasn't Derek style at all, Stiles thought, shaking his head to chase away such stupid thoughts. There was a better explanation for his absence, he knew.

 

He was about to get up when the door to his room opened slowly and Derek appeared holding a tray full of...food, lots of food, many different kinds of food, in many different positions on the tray. So, _that_ was the explanation.

 

“Oh...” Derek exclaimed, surprised. “You're already awake, and here I thought I could surprise you.”

“Are you one of those hidden romantics, Derek Hale?” Stiles teased him, a smile brighter than the sun plastered on his lips.

Derek said nothing, he walked to the bed instead. Sitting beside Stiles, he placed the plate over the boy's knees. Stiles noticed a slight blush on the man's cheeks. So Derek could blush too, that was interesting, and so cute to witness. 

“I didn't really know what you would prefer to eat so...hmm...I ordered almost everything they had on their menu.”

“Almost...” Stiles teased, taking in the very full plate. Derek frowned comically, he looked like he was about to pout if Stiles pushed a bit more.

“What? I was trying to please you without waking you up. Aren't you hungry?” The man grumbled.

“Awww, you're so cute!” Stiles let slip, not able to keep his thoughts to himself as they left his mouth without his consent. He swore, sometimes it was like his mind and his mouth were individual people and they liked to act without consulting him first, which often lead to exclamations like this.

“Shut up, I'm not cute, Stilinski. Are you eating or what?” Derek growled, making the boy shiver unintentionally.

“Yes. I'm eating, thank you for this amazing feast. Now, be a good boy and come sit behind me so that I can realize one of my many fantasies!” Stiles added, patting the place behind his back.

Derek shot him a dark glance, and asked, voice deadpan; 

“Be a good boy? What am I... A dog?”

Stiles smiled brightly, his cheeks reddening as he exclaimed,

“Of course not... You're my sexy hot werewolf boyfriend, who happens to be shredded. And with a chest like that, in a hotel room like this and such a breakfast, there's no way I'm not taking advantage of your perfect body. Now, come on and make me happy... Please?”

Rolling his eyes, Derek conceded and gracefully placed himself behind Stiles. The teen sighed happily, moving a bit to find the perfect spot against Derek, shivering at the feel of the Derek’s warm skin pressed to his bare back.

“Can I have some coffee, please?” Derek asked, caressing Stiles’right arm tenderly with the tip of his fingers.

 

Stiles took more time than needed to react and pour Derek a cup of coffee. The mans fingers running against his skin making it hard for him to concentrate. His hand shook around the cup as Derek's fingers made their way higher, caressing his shoulder and neck. By instinct, Stiles pressed himself harder against Derek's front. Tilting his head a bit, he let it rest on Derek's left shoulder, baring his neck naturally. A long breath escaped him when the man's lips replaced his fingers at the base of his neck. Stiles shivered violently at the brush of those lips, so hot on his skin. Derek's hands came to rest on his stomach and rubbed circles there, slowly making him relax more than he was before. It was so good. So perfectly right to be like this with the man.

 

“Mmm... Derek...” He whispered, lacing his fingers through Derek's, when he felt the tip of the mans tongue caressing a very sensitive spot of flesh just below his ear. The man then kissed that same spot before whispering in his ear softly,

“What is it, Stiles?”

“Your…” Stiles tried to say, once. “Didn't you want coffee...” He tried a second time, able to form a complete sentence but incapable of sounding calm and in control of himself under Derek's ministration.

“Mmm... Yes. Coffee. I find that _you_ smell like coffee in this particular expanse of skin, here.” Derek said, his lips kissing Stiles’ neck without mercy, making the boy shake, his arousal growing quickly and hitting Derek's sensitive nose with force.

“I smell like coffee?” Stiles moaned, surprised and panting. What the hell was Derek doing to his neck? It was so fucking good, he thought.

“Amongst other things, yes.” Derek replied in a low voice. Moving his kisses to Stiles shoulder and nape. 

“Other things like?” Stiles asked again, curious.

He’d always wondered how werewolves would describe his scent, but he had never dared to ask Scott, because Scott was his bro, and that would just be weird and too intimate to ask him. Or Derek for that matter, cause well... Because he was Derek. And they found him awkward enough already. Not that he minded really but...it was better not to add to that already saddening fact.

 

“Your smell is... It’s hard to describe with words, but I'm gonna try.” Derek said, wrapping his arms tighter around Stiles’ middle section, holding him closely against his chest. “First, you have to know that your scent smells different to each of us, and strongest to the alpha.”

“Okay, that answers one of my many questions about werewolf olfactory senses.” Stiles said. “So, I smell different to you than I do to Scott, why?”

“I'll come to that.” Derek answered, smiling at Stiles' curiosity. It was one of the teen’s traits that had first attracted him. Stiles was always eager to learn, and would have made an amazing werewolf. “To me your scent is made of cinnamon, freshly cut grass, earth, citrus and a hint of the coffee you love so much. There’s a slight chemical trace from the Adderall in your system. And energy, pure and overwhelming. It comes off you in waves, so strong that your body has no hope of hiding it.That's how I knew something was...uhh... _Different_... About you. You weren't like any of the other humans I'd ever met.”

“Oh!” Stiles stated. “I-is it a...a bad smell or something? The...energy, I mean? Do I stink because of it?" He asked, his stomach knotting up inside him.

“No, no it's the opposite. You're so drenched in it, it makes you, you're scent, even more alluring... To me...” Derek whispered. 

Stiles stayed silent a long time, assimilating the mans words.

“You think I'm... alluring?” He finally dared ask.

Stiles got the impression Derek was saying, maybe even  _admitting_ , that this was about more than just his scent. He was thinking about every word, choosing them carefully, saying them with intent.

“Yeah... I do!” Derek confessed, putting a bit of space between their bodies.

 

Stiles took that movement for what it was, Derek giving him a little space, watching for Stiles’ reaction. So he placed the plate beside them on the bed, and moved a bit, turning his body around just enough so that he could look at Derek's face. He took a deep breath, and nervous without knowing why, he asked;

 

“Der, what is it you're trying to say here? I know your words have a double meaning... What is it?”

“It's... Uhh... Can we talk about something else, please?” The man said, needed to find an escape before confessing too much when he was still so unsure about... Well, about everything regarding them, what they had and what they were building.

“No, I'm not dropping the subject.” Stiles said, being his usual stubborn self. 

Derek sighed, taking one of the teen's hands in his, he said,

“Stiles, please, let's talk about this later. I feel like it's still too soon. There are things I still don't understand myself. Things about you... me, _**us**_ that I'm still so unsure of. I don't want to rush what we have now, because it means a lot to me. And I want this to work out, okay? I need this to be...umm...”

 

He searched for the right words, the words to make Stiles understand. _What_ _could_ _he say_ _to make_ _everything clear without giving it all away?_

Stiles seemed to understand his struggling because he squeezed Derek's hands, and smiled gently.

“I get it. It's okay Derek, I can wait. I'll wait for you to be ready to tell me.”

Derek looked at him closely, making Stiles blush under the intensity of his gaze. Then the man bent forward and captured his lips in a slow, tender kiss. And that was enough to make Stiles pant against his mouth. 

“Derek...” He breathed.

“Thank you.” The man simply said. “Now, let's eat, I'm starving.”

“Me too, but one more question.”

“What is it?”

“You said that a human scent smells different to the nose of different werewolves, why? It's not like we magically transform our scent or anything.”

“You kind of do though.”

“What? How?”

“Your scent differs because you react differently to the person standing in front of you. Like to me your scent is much stronger than for Scott. Because you react differently to me than him.”

“So, what you’re saying is that it’s about the relationships we have with you werewolves? Our bodies will automatically transform our scent as a... Like a defense mechanism or something?”

“Yeah, it's a bit like that. It's all part of a complex mechanism that I'll explain to you later. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks for answering me. It's weird how I realize now that everything would have been so much easier if I’d taken the time to talk to you in the past. Same for Scott. That could have changed a lot of things.” 

“It could've. But it's in the past now, we're in the present, I say let's enjoy our breakfast and the day we have ahead of us.”

“Sounds good to me. Here... Your coffee.” Stiles said, giving Derek his mug, and sitting back against the muscular, but so deliciously warm chest of the man.

 

*

 

They spent the day walking around Central Park, Derek taking pictures of Stiles, taking pictures of the two of them, letting Stiles take pictures of him, making memories of their escape in New York.

The weather was surprisingly warm and sunny for April, enough that Stiles had left his perpetual hoodie back in their hotel room,going with a light plaid shirt over a baseball tee. Surprisingly, the teen was back to wearing the tight jeans he used to wear back when they first met, almost two years ago. And Derek _really_ had trouble keeping his hands to himself and not keep touching Stiles constantly. He’d never been the type of boyfriend who was demonstrative in public, never felt like he _had_ to touch his lover every ten minutes just to make sure his scent stayed strong enough on the person but with Stiles it was another story. Everything was different with the human. Hell, _**he**_ was different where Stiles was concerned. Always had been since that first day in the forest when he'd stumbled on to him and Scott. Now that they were so much more intimate than in the past... Well, let's just say that Derek had never struggled like that to keep himself in control, and his inner wolf quiet.

 

After Central Park, Stiles asked him to show him where he and Laura had lived during the six years they’d called New York home. The teen was curious about that part of Derek's life, wanted to see how they’d lived, what their neighborhood looked like, wanted to visit the places they’d gone, and eat at places they’d eaten at. So, that's what they did, for almost two hours.

They walked around the block, went by the big building where Derek used to share a flat with his big sister. They were even able to visit the apartment as it wasn’t being rented at the moment, and the clerk had recognized Derek. They stopped for drinks at the coffee shop Derek and Laura used to go to when she was still alive. Derek even showed him the place where Laura worked part time at a flower shop down the street from the coffee shop, and took him to the place he had started doing photography more frequently, slowly starting to make himself known.

They were enjoying themselves and their time together, laughing and talking, Derek telling him funny stories about him and Laura, or Stiles spouting some random fact about a certain building or neighborhood, strolling through the streets, sometimes finding their hands reaching for each other.

Later, when Stiles’ stomach growled hungrily, Stiles decided that something portable would be best for lunch, so that they could eat while continuing on their walking tour. He would have happily ignored the hunger pain, but Derek’s werewolf hearing caught the noise, and he wouldn’t relent until Stiles made a food decision. 

Derek lead them to a part of Central Park where dozens of food trucks and sidewalk vendors were parked. Stiles' stomach seemed happy with the wide variety of cooking, finally going for mexican with jalapeños, potatoes and marinated chicken legs. Derek chose similarly, picking pork instead of chicken with his jalapeños and potatoes.

They continued to stroll aimlessly, before deciding to rest on a shady area of grass. Stiles was exhausted by so much walking and full from his two lunches, but really happy with how the day had been spent. Derek kept silent, happy and content to just be with Stiles.

 

Eyes closed, his face to the sun, he startled a bit when the weight of Stiles' head crashed down on his full stomach. But he said nothing, just cracked an eye open and caught Stiles' gaze, the boy purring like a happy cat when being petted in the good way. If he was surprised by Stiles’ easy acceptance of their relationship or of his willingness to be affectionate in public, Derek said nothing, secretly enjoying the fact that by his actions, Stiles was declaring to the world that he was Derek’s and vice versa. 

On impulse, Derek found Stiles' right hand laying on the grass, and linked their fingers together. His thumb drawing small patterns on the surprisingly soft skin. He was rewarded by the delicious shivering that coursed through Stiles, the goosebumps covering his entire body. His scent grew stronger, spiked by the recognizable scent of arousal. He was amazed that Stiles could be that aroused, that hungry for him with just a simple touch of his thumb on the back of his hand.

After a relaxing thirty minutes or so, Stiles asked lowly, like he was scared to disturb their peaceful moment by talking too loudly;

 

“Derek...”

“Mm?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“What is it?” Derek answered, a softness in his voice that he had rarely used or heard before.

“What are we now? Are we two friends that share kisses and a bit more, not really knowing where they're heading with their relationship? Or are we involved and intimate enough now, with each other I mean, for it to be safe to say we're boyfriends if someone asks? I'm asking because I need to know if I have to lie or if it's okay for me to tell Scott or my dad or Lydia for example that you and me... We're a _**'We'**_ now.”

“It's been clear to me since the first time we kissed... You're my boyfriend, Stiles and I’m yours. And you don't have to lie to your friends or your dad if they ask because I'm not planning on ending what we have now anytime soon.”

“O-Okay... Cool... Great! Awesome! It's awesome!”

 

The boy fell silent again, playing with Derek's hand that he’d put on his chest just to feel its warmth through his clothes because it always reassured him.

 

“Oh My God!” Stiles exclaimed a moment later. 

“What?”

“You’re my first boyfriend. I have a boyfriend. A smoking hot, built like a greek statue _boyfriend_. **Me** , of all people;the skinny, awkward sheriff's kid has you as a boyfriend. You’re... Mine, all mine! Dude, life is goooood!”

“Idiot.” Derek replied, trying hard not to laugh.

“Shut up, you love me! Sooooooo, now that we're officially official and everything, well at least between us...you have no objections if I want to climb you like a little monkey and molest your mouth, right?”

“If what you're asking is _can I kiss you_ , yes you can but please stop talking and kiss me already.”

“Oh bossy... I like it when you go all Alpha on me, honey.”

“Oh my god, my boyfriend is a dork!”

“Yeah, yeah, gonna show you how much you like your dork.” Stiles whispered against Derek's lips, maneuvering around so he was leaned over Derek.

 

The man, tired of waiting and fearing Stiles wouldn’t shut up, grabbed his face in his hands and pressed their mouths together, kissing him for long seconds that left him panting. Derek ravished him with open mouthed kisses, their tongues caressing, dancing, entwining with each other. Derek shifted onto his side some, and Stiles moaned into his mouth, arms going to wrap around the man shoulders, one leg lodging itself between the mans slightly open tights while his other leg went up against Derek's hip. He moaned a bit harder when Derek's fingers grabbed his hair and pull on it gently.

 

God, but it was _**so good!**_ He never would have thought, two years ago, that kissing Derek Hale like that could drive him that close to the edge. If kissing made him that hard, he could only imagine the state he would be in the first time they had sex and Derek was buried deep inside him.

 

“Mmm... Who knew kissing you would be so good! I still don't get how a Sourwolf like you can actually be so sweet...”

“Idiot... Shut up and keep doing what you’re doing instead of talking.”

“Oh, my Sourwolf is needy. I like it!”

 

Derek sighed, why had he fallen for Stiles again? Oh. Yeah. Because Stiles was the most incredible person he had ever known in his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **My tumblr has changed URL lately it's now:** [theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  **My 8tracks playlists, most of them related to this fic or being inspiration sources for the writing of this story:** [The Playlist](http://8tracks.com/shinhia304)
> 
>  **Also, I made a cover for this story:** [Can See Me](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/post/68396015453/can-you-see-me-through-your-lens)
> 
>  
> 
> That's it, see you soon.  
> xoxo  
> Sin.


	12. The Exhibit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

They went back to the hotel, and ordered room service for dinner. Half way through the meal, Stiles turned to Derek; The man knew he was about to hear some smart-assed comment before Stiles even opened his mouth.

“Dude, this is starting to feel a little too ‘ _Pretty Woman_ ’.” He paused to laugh, and Derek grunted, mastering his eye roll technique. “Wait, does that make me Julia Roberts?” And he dissolved into laughter.

 

After the meal, they both disappeared into their own rooms, to bathe and change for the exhibit. Stiles was resenting the dress code policy, which had been written clearly in delicate gold letters on the midnight blue paper, _(expensive paper)_ , the thick kind that looked so chic. It said ‘ ** _Formal attire_** ’.

It meant he couldn't get away with his nicest hoodie, fitted black jeans and a good enough shirt, which was hard enough to accept. But then his dad had insisted on going shopping to buy something “ _appropriate_ ” and Stiles started rethinking his life choices. His dad had dragged him to a fancy men's clothing store at the mall and they’d finally found something that looked nice on him. His dad even bought  him dress shoes to go with his outfit; The shiny black kind of fancy shoes someone like Jackson Whittemore would wear on a Saturday night out.

 _God_ , what had he been thinking? But at least Derek would have a laugh seeing him. He was certain Derek would find him ridiculous. Why did he have to go all rebellious on his dad, and pick such a weird color? John had suggested sticking to black but still had paid for the outfit of Stiles’ choice.

Heart beating a thousand miles a minute, he took a deep breath and went to the desk, glancing at himself one last time in the big mirror on the wall.

“Okay Stiles, man up... Can't be that bad...Plus Derek’s seen you looking more stupid than...well than this!” He whispered to himself, hoping Derek’s supernatural hearing hadn’t heard _that_.

“Stiles?” Derek called from the other side of his bedroom door. “Are you ready?”

“Uhh...yeah... Yes, I-I'm ready.” Stiles answered, pocketing his phone and wallet, and hooked his watch around his wrist as he opened the door.

He came to a sudden stop when he saw Derek leaning up against the back of the couch.

 

 _‘ **OH. MY. GOD!**_ ’ He exclaimed  _loudly_ in his head. Why did Derek have to look so... So, fucking _good_ in his black tux and black dress shirt? It wasn’t fair! His eyes kept straying to the small expanse of skin that was peaking through the top two buttons left open at the man's collar. Okay, clearly someone, somewhere had decided to play a cruel fucking joke on him. How could he stay clear minded, keep his hands to himself and not jump Derek, when the man looked so damn sexy. So  **H.O.T**! With capital letters and a bold black font. Just in case his point wasn't clear enough.

 

“Huh... Wow! You... Umm...you look...so...” Wholly shit. What was going on with him, he couldn't even speak now? The **HALE**... How was this his _life_ , _**really**_?! And Derek wanted to keep their relationship PG-17. Oh man, what had he done wrong to deserve this torture? 

“Stiles...” Derek said, his voice sounding weird. "You look really... Good!” The man complimented him, not sounding surprised but shocked and maybe a little aroused.

Stiles blushed, his heart racing like crazy in his chest. He really needed to calm down before he started hyperventilating.

“Really? Because I feel pretty stupid dressed like this.” He said, gesturing towards his outfit.

Derek smiled, and pushed off from the back of the sofa where he’d sat waiting for the teen. Coming to stand right in front of Stiles, he couldn't resist undoing the top button of the teen’s creamy white shirt.  _ **Gosh, Stiles was stunning**._

“I'm certain. You're...stunning, Stiles!” 

“Oh. O-Okay. Thanks... You look stunning too, but then you look stunning in everything you wear. Not that the tux isn't special, I just meant you make all clothing look awesome, dude. But, yeah, you're like hot and sexy as hell dressed like this and I'm totally rambling now and you really should shut me up before I say more totally embarrassing things and mfh...” Stiles was _finally_ cut off by Derek's hungry lips, completely under the charms of the younger man. This was going to be a _very_ long night, not being able to touch or kiss Stiles every time he’d feel like it.

Stiles moaned happily into Derek's mouth; God, he would _never_ get tired of kissing him. 

“We...hum...we should go! If... Mmm...if we don't want to be late.” Derek groaned against his lips.

Stiles was left speechless, unable to say anything after such a kiss. He wanted to stay there and have crazy passionate sex with Derek all night. But Derek was right, they should really get going or Derek's agent would have his head. Showing up late was not an option. Being a few minutes late was considered fashionable, but no later, as Derek had told him earlier.

“Yeah...” He breathed, “We really should go. Now.” 

He moaned as Derek kissed him one last time, then the man linked his fingers through Stiles’ and they left their room, a cab already waiting for them downstairs.

 

This was so exciting and new for Stiles, and he couldn’t be still, acting more like a five year old on his way to Disney Land then a grown man on his way to a fancy art gallery.

  
 

*

 

When they arrived at the gallery, a good amount of people were already there, milling around outside, and in the gallery entrance looking at the teaser pieces Derek had chosen, chatting and waiting for Derek to arrive and unveil his new collection. A few people recognized Derek as they passed, and he exchanged pleasantries and promises to talk once inside.

 

Then, they were inside, and Derek was leading Stiles across the floor to Cynthia’s side.

Immediately upon reaching her side, she swept Derek upstairs for a last minute look over the exhibit. Stiles followed, but stayed on the main floor, off to the side. He jumped a little, spinning around into a defensive position, when someone poked him in the back. He immediately straightened as surprise and happiness flooded him as he met a pair of familiar brown eyes. 

 

“Oh my god, Cora?!” He exclaimed, before pulling the girl into a bear hug.

“Hey there, Stiles.” She said, happily returning the hug for a second then freeing herself from the boy's arms, having met the killer gaze of her big brother. She raised an eyebrow. Well, well, seems like _someone_ was the jealous type, interesting.

“Why are you smirking like the cat that caught the mouse?” Stiles asked her, lifting a suspicious eyebrow.

Cora had to bite her cheek hard to contain the huff of laughter that threatened to slip out. Well, well, _well_ , it seemed like someone had been spending a lot of time with a certain werewolf acquaintances of hers. She couldn’t wait to interrogate her brother.

“Me? it’s nothing. So, tell me how you've been since…”

“Since I died, came back to life, save my dad, Scott's mom and Chris Argent from a crashing ceiling and then going through hell because of the fucking mark that's a permanent darkness around my heart?” Stiles said lightly, like he was talking about the weather instead.

“It hasn’t been so bad since your brother came back to town and started working with me on this awesome project. But tell me about you instead. Where have you been all these months? And by the way, still waiting for you to text me that you're still part of the living!” Stiles said, master of sarcasm like usual.

Cora couldn't keep from snorting, she had really missed that.

“Oh man, I miss the way you blurt everything that goes through your mind.”

“Yeah, they still haven't found the right filter for my brain to mouth.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Cora said smiling. She took in Stiles' look, the teen had really grown up in the months she’d been away and was more of a pre-adult now than a teen.

 

His body was clearly showing the shapes and planes of the adult he would become, and all dressed up like he was tonight he really was breathtaking. The rich red of his vest and pants were a really bold choice but no one could have pulled off an outfit like this better than Stiles. Red really was his color, she thought with a smirk. The creamy white dress shirt he was wearing under the vest stood out against the bright red of the vest, and played nicely against the color of his skin. Stiles had gone for a casual touch, or maybe Derek was responsible, Cora thought, by leaving the top button of his shirt open, showing a quarter of pale skin. His pants were held to his hips by an elegant black leather belt, and hugged his body, displaying his ‘ _ass_ ’ _ets_. To complete the look, he wore a pair of dress shoes, all shiny and black. Yes, Stiles Stilinski was to die for tonight, and Cora was wondering how Derek was managing to keep his hands to himself.

“I really missed you, Stiles.” 

“Yeah, me too. You Hales have a way of growing on people, it's crazy. Even your psycho uncle does. But I'm glad to see you're looking good and happy.”

“Well, to be honest I needed the break from all the crazy that's been my life.” The girl admitted.

“Yeah. Tell me about it.” The teen whispered his gaze drifting towards Derek.

 

The mans agent was now standing on the stairs beside him and was tapping her champagne glass with a silver knife.

“Ladies and gentlemen, good evening and thank you for coming tonight. I’d like to welcome you all to the new Laura Hale Art Gallery. And now that the artist of the night has arrived, it's time to officially declare this exhibit, _**Alive**_ by Darheel Kee... Open. So without further ado; Enjoy!”

 

Stiles witnessed the exact same surprised expression cross Derek and Cora's faces at the mention of the Gallery name. Apparently even Derek hadn’t known about that.

 

He watched as Cynthia turned towards Derek, asking him if he wanted to add a word before people start wandering around the gallery. The man agreed with a shy smile. Strange, thought Stiles, he’d never pictured Derek to be shy in front of anyone. But then it was true too that he had mostly known Derek to be a solitary person, not one that enjoyed the crush of a sea of people.

“Uhh hello... I don't really know what to say, except thank you, Cynthia, for this beautiful gift. I know that if Laura was still with us today, she would have been honored and grateful for such an amazing gift and for all the people that came here tonight. So... to Laura, my beloved sister who I miss dearly every day and without who all of this would have never been possible. I hope you all enjoy your night. Thank you!” Derek said, emotion shining brightly in his eyes and making his voice tremble a little.

 

Then he and Cynthia walked down the stairs, joining Stiles and Cora at the bottom. Derek smiled tenderly when his sister threw her arms around him, clinging to her brothers shoulders like a baby monkey needing the biggest hug from its mother. The moment was vibrant of their mutual emotion and the unsaid words that only the both of them could understand without speaking.

Stiles felt like a _voyeur_ , like he shouldn’t be witnessing such a special reunion between the two siblings, like he didn't deserve to be there. Feeling the emotions swirling up inside him, he choose to go wander through the exhibit instead.

 

The ground floor was mostly pictures of landscapes, of unknown people Derek had photographed in the streets, at events or in public places like a pub that came up in multiple pictures, somewhere the man used to go it seemed. There were lots of coffee shop pictures too. Stiles took in every pieces patiently, studying the shots with careful attention. Each of them carrying a story that he was eager to understand.

 

When he was done with the ground floor, he climbed the stairs slowly, taking his time to look at every picture on the right hand wall. They were pictures of Laura and some of Liam, Stiles noticed, recognizing the late model without problem. He felt a pang in the chest, he hurt for the man in the pictures and for Laura too. The both of them were gone too soon, way too soon. Just when life was really starting for them, destiny or fate maybe, had chosen otherwise for the man and woman, signing their death certificates like it wasn't a big deal to die at twenty-something years old.

 

The top of the stairs opened onto a catwalk, overlooking the big entrance room of the ground floor on the right. On the long white wall to the left were multiple pictures of faces Stiles knew very well, those of Cora, Erica, Boyd, and Isaac. Even Peter and his creepy smirk had a place in the middle of the youths on the wall. Above the pieces, a quote about life was written in a elegant handwriting.

 

> “ _ **In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.” - Shing Xiong**_  

  

Stiles thought the quote was both inspirational and related to the pictures underneath it. Erica and Boyd had lived and died. Peter and Cora had lived, lost, and learned to live again. And Isaac had lived, adapted, and moved on to another life. But in the end it all came back to one thing. _**Life!**_

They had lived through crazy experiences, some happy, some sad, but what had mattered was the thrill of it, the excitement, the danger, the brotherhood. The breathtaking moments they had found themselves in. And Derek, by choosing this quote, had honored their love of life. Stiles was only sad it had ended the way it did for two of them. He was heartbroken that once again Derek had lost his family in the process of trying to build something, of trying to be happy... **_With them!_**

 

Stiles kept making his way through the first floor, stopping in front of every piece that caught his eye, which meant almost every one of them. He took note that Cora and Laura were in the majority of them, Derek choosing pictures that showed their similarities and their differences, and he smiled softly at the careful attention to details Derek used when working.

The were spectacular pieces of wild life, in which models and big animals shared the same scene. And more intimate shots that left you feeling like Derek had witnessed really delicate moments of life and couldn't go by without immortalizing them. 

With some of the pictures, Stiles could feel Derek’s strong presence, his strength, others his quiet, reserved way. And some, an almost shyness, like he had to tread lightly on the personal moments he was capturing.

 

Stiles turned a corner and found himself in a dark room where pictures were placed askew on the four walls, each of them lit by a small spot light above them. His eyes were immediately drawn to the really big, poster sized picture of... **_HIM!_  **On the wall facing him. A wall empty of other pieces. There was a very large picture of himself as the focal point of a whole wall.

If you didn’t know him, you wouldn’t be able to tell it was him in the picture, because the photograph had been taken from behind, his red lacrosse jersey shining bright under the spotlights of the Lacrosse field, the number twenty-four and white capital letters forming his last name standing out, in sharp contrast on the fabric. Derek has succeeded in capturing him in a jumping posture, lacrosse stick high above his right shoulder, aiming at the goal.

Stiles was left speechless in front of the picture, the power, the excitement and suspense, the feelings that were crashing over him in waves, were breathtaking. It looked like the camera, and by extension _Derek_ , were jumping with him, ready to make the shot with him.

And all of a sudden he could see why his dad always looked so proud of him after games. Before now he wouldn’t have thought he was capable of such a thing. Never thought he’d be able to show so much confidence in something he was doing, because he was doing it right, totally focused on his goal, without being clumsy or awkward while doing it. He mentally thanked Derek for such a gift.

Stiles turned to the rest of the pictures in the room. Turns out, the pieces were all of him. You could never see his full face in them, Derek showing respect for his privacy and his age by only using pictures of his eyes, his mouth, his nose, his neck, even one picture of his moles. Someof the pieces focus on his hands or his arms or his legs. In  some he’s wearing his Lacrosse uniform, on others he's at the loft or around Beacon Hills. He hadn’t even realized Derek had taken so many pictures of him, many of these he had never seen before. And definitely hadn’t been aware of Derek’s intention to dedicate a part of his exhibit to him...

 

One of the pictures, then, grabs his attention. This shot is different, darker than all the others. It's only his eyes. Lost in the distance.You can clearly see the shadows in the hollow, haunted look, like life had deserted this person, left them empty. He seems so different in this one picture. Like someone else. Like someone that has lost everything. **_Everything_** , even his will to fight. And it makes him shake, unable to tear his eyes from the take, obliged to witness the death that's visible in his whiskey-colored eyes, eyes the same as his mothers. So, _this_ is how he appeared to Derek so many months ago. Like an empty shell. A broken human. He had been so used to it by then, to never look at himself in mirrors, not more than what was necessary, at the time. But now, he can't avoid the truth anymore, not when it's hanging there, right in front of him.

 

“You've been deep into the depths of hell, am I right?” Says a feminine voice behind him, making him jump and flail hard. He didn't even hear her arrive, lost as he was in his contemplation.

“Yeah, I guess I hit the bottom.” He managed to articulate. His throat feeling suddenly very tight.

“But still, you managed to fight back, survive, take your life into your own hands, and dig your way out, am I wrong?”

“No, you're not. But then I guess asking for help, isn't much of a fight really.”

“Asking for help is a fight in the way that you have to go against yourself. Trust me, fighting against yourself, against your instinct, is harder than having to face a thousand men.”

“You sound like you know what you're talking about.” 

“Maybe I had to face my own fights, and experience my personal part of hell too.” Cynthia conceded.

“How did you...deal with it?”

“I told you, the hardest fight is often with ourselves. My advice is to find someone who anchors you. Someone who helps you keep it all together.” She said in an enigmatic voice. Her smile was warm and understanding. She put her hand on his shoulder. It was warm. Supernaturally warm, Stiles noticed.

And then he understood what must have been her own fights, her own struggles. She patted his shoulder a few times, then said;

“I'm sorry, I have to get back to the guests. It was nice seeing you again, Stiles.”

“It was nice seeing you too, Miss Nixon!”

“Oh honey, Miss Nixon was my mother. Call me Cyn instead. Besides, I'm not old enough to be referred to by my last name.”

“Okay, Cyn.” Stiles said smiling, watching as she left the room, her high heels silent as she walked away, moving slightly like some sort of feline animal.

 

*

 

He's back in front of the poster sized Lacrosse picture when he feels someone next to him again. Tearing his eyes from the photograph, he sees Cora. She smiles gently at him, taking in most of the pictures in the room but her gaze finally comes back to the one he’s still looking at.

 

“So... You and Derek, huh! I think I should have seen this coming.” She says in a whisper as other people are in the room with them. And also maybe so her brother’s werewolf ears won't catch the conversation.

“Uhhh... What do you mean, you should have seen it coming?” Stiles asks, turning to stare at her. He doesn’t deny anything because one - _it's_ _pointless!_ _Werewolf, she_ _would hear him lying._ And two - _he_ _doesn't_ _ **want**_ _to hide the fact_ _that_ _he's got it bad for her big brother_ _from her._

“Well, it really was just a matter of time. Seeing how you two always behaved around each other and when Derek decided to go back to Beacon Hills, I'm not stupid, I knew somehow it was because of you more than because of keeping an eye on Peter or to help Scott McCall in his new alpha position. It's amazing really, how Derek can never stay cold when it's about you, Stiles. And this room, well, it tells me everything I need to know.” She explains, turning on her high heels, so she's facing him.

 

Stiles instinctively moves so that he can face her too. She keeps talking, her eyes holding a threatening gleam in them. Stiles shivers under the stare, his human instinct telling him he's in some kind of menacing situation,

 

“To be honest, tonight is the first time I’ve see Derek look so... _Content_. Happy even. And trust me we've spent enough time on the road, just the two of us, trying to reconnect and move on from what we lost. Which makes it easier for me now to understand him without him having to actually talk. Maybe the fact he sacrificed so much to save my life helps us get each other better than we ever did in the past. What I'm saying is, he's finally happy Stiles, and that’s because of you. Because of what's been going on between you two. I don't need details, cause _eww_ that's a bit gross right now, but... You can trust me when I say this; If you ever hurt him, heavens help me, I will hunt you, I will find you and when I get my hands on you, I'll tear you to shreds, you hear me? Starting by ripping your balls off... With my claws! You got me?” She asks, her eyes shining the same blue as her brother. Stiles takes her even more seriously, because of the color. 

“Got you five on five, yeah!”

“Good.” She says, patting his cheek. Her eyes shift back to their natural brown color.

Strange, Stiles thinks, that she hasn't inherited the jade eyes that Derek and Laura seemed to share with their parents. Even Peter' eyes are a light blue color, not plain brown like Cora's.

“So... When you gonna let my brother shoot you naked?”

“Geez, you are _so_ Derek's sister, it's even worse than a year ago.” 

“Hehe, what can I say... Runs in the blood.”

“Yeah, that I noticed. Thank you. All creepers, especially your psycho uncle.”

“Yeah, Peter is a bit... He's like the only one of his kind, if you see what I mean…”

“Yeah. Thank god, he's unique!”

“You're lucky he's not here or he'd make you resent this with a snarky remark.” 

“Oh trust me, I can handle Uncle P’s snarky comments just fine. He doesn't scare me... Not anymore, at least.”

“He doesn't, does he... ” She says with a small smile. Then her features soften before she traps him in a werewolf hug... Read ' _bone crashing_ '!

“Thank you, Stilinski. I was worried about Derek you know, but now, I feel like I don't have to be as worried anymore. Please take care of him cause it's something he sucks at, seriously.” She whispers in his ear.

Stiles swallowed with difficulty, then nodded against her shoulder. _That_ he is capable of doing.

“I promise I will.”

“Cool.”

 

*

 

An hour later, Derek is surprised again when Cynthia drags him outside, and uncovers the gallery sign above the entrance door. There in shiny gold letters lays Laura's name. A reminder of the woman she once was.

Derek is shocked by the overwhelming flood of emotion at the sign. He misses his sister, and his family so strongly, that it threatens to spill over into tears. He is unbelievably touched by Cynthia and her generous gift. After a few minutes of telling her how wonderful and perfect it is, he says good night, squeezing her extra tight, and asks her to send Stiles outside. Then he leans against the building to wait, remembering.

 

They head off, walking without really aiming for any special destination. Stiles feels the walk is just something his boyfriend needs. They find themselves at the memorial of the Twin Towers, and Derek surprises him, by saying,

 

“I think I've fallen in love with you!”

 

And at that moment, nothing could stop Stiles' heart from beating so fast because he knows, that's how he understands. Derek's not just a crush anymore. Stiles is completely and hopelessly in love with  _his_ freaking Sourwolf!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **My Tumblr:** _[theshiwolf](http://thechritsmasshiwolf.tumblr.com/)_


	13. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ** _HAPPY NEW YEAR WOLVIES!!!!!!_**
> 
> I hope 2014 is gonna the best of year for everyone. Thank you for following me, giving kudos and commenting all through 2013. I hope will stay together in 2014 and in those further years.
> 
>  
> 
>  **My Tumblr:** [theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)

After the exhibit and their nighttime walk around New York, they hailed a cab - _always a difficult task in the city_ \- and went back to the hotel. It had been a long, emotional day, and they were both exhausted.

Once in their suite, Derek chose to go to his own room, not wanting to disturb Stiles, who was so exhausted that he fell asleep the moment his head hit his pillow. He was pretty tired too, feeling it more mentally than physically.  

The exhibit had been a success and he only regretted that he hadn’t had the opportunity to wander the exhibit with Stiles. He had absolutely no idea of _how_ the young man had reacted to the part of the exhibit dedicated to him.

Being the photographer, he had had to do his duty of talking with people, answering their many questions and listening to their many remarks. Cynthia had made him speak with every magazine, TV reporter and critic she had invited. He’d barely had time to talk to Cora and by the time he was done ‘working’, Cynthia was dragging him outside to christen Laura’s sign with a bottle of champagne, like the tradition says. Derek wished all night that Laura could have been with them, could have witnessed her dream becoming a reality, her dream of having a gallery to show his work proudly, like the loving big sister she had always been. And Derek thought it was really sad that she had to die for that dream to finally happen.  

After christening the sign, Derek had felt vulnerable and raw from the emotions. He asked Cynthia to send Stiles out, not wanting to go back into the crush to find him. When Stiles came out, it only took one look at his Sourwolf for him to realize it was time to go. He took his hand, and silently they started walking.

He had confessed his feelings to Stiles.

His heart pounding like mad in his chest, he had realized how big this moment was. It was all worth it even though Stiles had stayed speechless, the emotions on his face, the scent of happiness and more coming from him had been more than Derek needed to be happy himself and forget his fears at that very moment. The light he had witness in Stiles' eyes after that... It had told him everything he needed to know, it had confirmed that Stiles was accepting his feelings, wasn't afraid of him, of the brusk turned their relationship had just taken. And that... That was the most important thing, knowing that Stiles wasn't afraid of what was ahead of them. 

Undressing, Derek let out a heavy breath. He was happy this opening party was done. He really hated crowds like that, but socializing was part of the job, networking. Once totally naked, he went for the bathroom, nothing would be better than a good, hot shower to relax his muscles, before lying down with a good book and his iPod playing some soothing music. No long after that, though, sleep finally took him and he went to join Morpheus satisfied and happy.  

 

He’d been asleep for maybe an hour or so when he felt the sheets being lifted next to him, then the weight of another body lying down on the mattress, making it shift as Stiles invaded the empty space next to him, and covered himself with the comforter. The teen moved a bit more so he was _almost_ touching Derek. The werewolf could smell the strong scent of fright and sweat, and guessed he’d had another nightmare. Without saying a word he lifted his arm, put it around Stiles' thin form and held him close against his chest. He felt Stiles sigh, then breathe him in, circling his waist with his left arm, his heartbeat slowing down gradually as Derek's warmth and scent surrounded him, soothing his distress away.

A few minutes later, the teen's breath was a slow, even rhythm. Proof that Stiles was sleeping deeply now. Derek felt relieved for the young man. Stiles really needed the sleep, and the more he could gather, the better.

  

*

 

When Stiles woke up, an entire second of panic rolled over him like one of those big waves in Hawaii. Where the hell was he? How did he get there? This was so not his bed... Not his room.

That's when his nose caught a very familiar scent. The scent of musk and something a bit sweeter, like cardamom maybe. Cardamom being the head note of Derek's daily body wash and deodorant. Instantly that thought appeased him, his panic fading away slowly.

Closing his eyes tightly, he moved tolay a bit more comfortably. He didn't know what had woken him up, the sky outside the window was still quite dark. It shouldn't be more than four thirty or five am tops. Breathing out slowly, he turned to lay on his left side. He felt a foot place itself between his calves. Then a strong arm came out of nowhere and wrapped him in a protective, possessive embrace, his back glued to Derek's strong chest now. A few seconds of Derek’s slow breathing and warm embrace and he drifted back to sleep. 

His mind stored the information that Stiles had no idea how, when, or why he had joined Derek in his room, to contemplate later. Somewhere deep inside he knew the answers to these questions but he wasn’t ready to deal with them yet, the darkness around his heart making him insecure even with Derek’s declaration. 

 

When Stiles woke again, hours later, he was facing Derek. The man was laying silently next to him, watching him as he slept. Stiles met Derek's green eyes, and blushed furiously. They were so close lying like that, and Derek had that something shining in his eyes that the teen couldn't define but that made his insides warm up suddenly, and his stomach clenched not because he was uncomfortable, no, what he was feeling was something totally different from discomfort. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly, because it was the mix of a bit of everything all at once. 

Derek extended his hand and caressed Stiles’ cheek softly, loving the patches of red coloring the human's cheeks. Sometimes, like right now, he still had trouble believing Stiles wanted to be with him. Had feelings for _him_ , a _werewolf_. Something not human... Derek was surprised, speechless, mesmerized that Stiles of all people could feel something for him in _that_ way! And he would blush like he was doing now because _Derek's_ eyes were contemplating him and no one else. Sometimes, like now, Derek had trouble believing he was, had been so lucky that someone or something had put Stiles in his path. And even if their first encounters had been quite...tense, they both had come such a long way to arrive where they were now! 

 

“Derek...” Stiles whispered, his voice unsteady.

“Mm... Yeah?” Derek asked in a murmur of his own. Still caressing the curves of Stiles' face. The boy closed his eyes when his fingers traced his mouth, his lips opening slightly by reflex, making it impossible for Stile to keep in a groan.  

“Derek...” he said again, tilting back his head, baring his neck for the werewolf to claim him, or scent him, or mark him if he ever decided to give in to his animal side. 

“What...w-what are you...doing? What are you doing to me?” Stiles asked, now shaking as Derek's fingers had been replaced by the mans mouth.

His lips traced the same path his fingers had made on his face before going slowly down his neck where he trapped Stiles' Adam’s apple between his wet lips and sucked on it slowly, conscious that he was driving Stiles crazy, pushing him closer to the edge. But Derek stopped ravishing his neck so intimately before his lover completely lost it. Stiles hips were slowly rolling against his and that was already hard enough to resist when he had, himself, made it clear he wanted to take things slow between them. Not that he didn't wanted Stiles, it was actually the total opposite. He craved for Stiles in a way he had never craved for anything, _anyone_ before.

 

Derek wouldn't go any further, but that didn't mean they couldn’t make out. And kissing Stiles, when the human was totally open and offering himself like... _this_...to him, was his new favorite thing. 

So that's what he did; Circled the back of Stiles' neck with his hand, tilted his head back into place and launched himself forward to steal the kiss he knew was already waiting for him on Stiles’ plush lips.

When their lips connected, he could feel it, the shiver running all over Stiles’ fragile body, his want for Derek being so great, so intense, that his form was literally vibrating between the man's arms.

 

Stiles shivered, trembled, shook against Derek, and wondered if this was something he was totally hallucinating. It felt like kissing Derek was now way more intimate and intense than before. It was like the bond they shared had deepened overnight and he could actually feel it, almost touch it, like an actual tight rope going from Derek to him and back. Was it because Derek had confessed his feelings to him the night before or because this trip had brought them even closer together? All Stiles was sure of, was that nothing he'd ever felt had been this good, this profound. He could feel it growing slowly but surely, getting stronger every second and if he was terrified it didn't weigh him down as much in comparison with how Derek made him feel.

Moaning, he wrapped his arms around Derek's neck when the man moved them so that he was laying between Stiles' thighs, his upper body covering Stiles. Stiles fisted his right hand into Derek's short hair, the other one sliding slowly along the man's spine. God, it was so good. So fucking damn good. 

Derek kissed him again and again and again barely letting him breathe in between kisses. Stiles body temperature skyrocketed so very high, it would only be a question of minutes...no, seconds before he came in his pants if Derek didn't stop sucking on his tongue like he was doing now or sucking on the sensitive area of flesh behind his left ear. But he didn't stop, Stiles knew Derek could smell him getting closer to coming but that still didn't stop the man from kissing him again, from making Stiles feel like he was making love to his mouth. Stiles moaned loudly a last time before squeezing his eyes tightly shut, his hands fisting painfully in Derek' hair as he drifted over the edge, coming forcefully in his underwear. Derek holding him close, not once loosening his hold around Stiles.

  

“Derek...” He panted in the mans mouth.

“Mm...” Derek growled softly into his neck.

Stiles’ mind cleared slowly, his breathing going back to normal just as slowly, his chest heaving less forcefully.

“Oh my god...” He breathed out, aghast. Unable to believe what had just happened. He... _**Oh god!**_ He had come all over his underwear only by kissing Derek. This was... _**Insane!**_

“You okay?” Derek asked him, looking concerned. His hands cupping Stiles' face gently, his thumbs caressing the teens cheekbone.

Stiles felt suddenly very conscious of the situation, or more like after situation actually, and hid his reddening face in Derek's shoulder, feeling very shy. He couldn't believe he’d come in his pants like the virgin he was. Derek hadn’t even _touched_ him!

 “Hey…” Derek whispered, nudging his face with his shoulder softly. “There's no reason to hide from me.”

“Yeah right, it's not embarrassing at all to come in your pants cause your boyfriend is kissing you. Not touching you, _kissing_ you!”

 “So, you came. It doesn’t bother me that you did, in fact I'm flattered, Stiles.”

“Flattered?” He repeated, his eyes searching Derek's.

“Yeah. I'm flattered because I have that effect on you and my wolf his satisfied because we could please you that way.”

“So... You don't think I'm just a stupid virgin that can't control his hormones when with you!”

“I think a lot of things about you, baby, but stupid isn't one of them.”

“ _ **OH**_... Oh!” Stiles exclaimed, still blushing slightly. Pet names! That was something he’d never thought Derek would use, let alone in reference to him. He was relieved that Derek's feelings for him were to that extent, and it made him incredibly happy.

“Huh...hum...I-I should go...take a shower!” He mumbled, shifting a little. “Yeah, I definitely need a shower.”

“Go then...” Derek said, with no intention of moving from Stiles' body.

The teen tried to get free with no success, and rolled his eyes before he pecked Derek's lips, and said,

“The quicker you let me take care of this, the quicker I'll be back to continue this...” Kissing him again, he was finally able to break free and didn't wait to run to the shower in his bedroom.

 

Once under the hot stream of the shower, the images of what had happened with Derek this morning, and the two days before came flooding back to Stiles' mind. He was rinsing the shampoo from his hair when it hit him violently. Like when you find yourself in a car crash. He was…

  

“ _Oh my god!_ _I am_ _so in love with Derek Hale!”_ He whispered to himself, a small, happy smile of realization blooming on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news, guys.
> 
> Starting today, I'm officially OFF _hiatus_. And will start posting once per week, I know I used to post twice a week, but for now it'll be once a week instead.
> 
> I hope you still like this story.


	14. Animals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY!!! Chapter 14, finally here.
> 
> Warning guys, this one is LONG!!! Of all the chapters written so far (18 of them to be exact) this one was the hardest to write and I thought a few about given up and screw this story. But, I couldn't just do that to you readers, right. So here it is, after a lot of sweat, tears and angry feelings.
> 
> xoxo  
> Enjoy;  
> Sin*

Two hours later, they were in a cab, their things packed and ready to go to the airport later in the afternoon, but for now Derek was taking him to do a photoshoot. Stiles had tried everything, trust him, absolutely _everything_ to find out what the freaking _HALE_ the mans plans for the photoshoot were but.... **NO**... **LUCK!**  

Derek hadn't budged, blinked, or even winced when Stiles had sat heavily on the werewolf's stomach, where the man was resting on the long couch in the suite’s living room space, for a good thirty minutes, after their breakfast, which meant Derek was full of food. But, _nothing_ _. Nicht. Nada._ _Fucking dead end. Silence. Total silencio._ Man, but Stiles could already see that in this relationship, even though he was a mouthy little bastard, Derek would easily have the last word in their arguments or intense discussions because, ladies and gentlemen, Derek Vincent Hale was a master in the art of unrelenting silence!

 

So here they were in the cab, going god knows where, and Stiles had a hard time not moving closer to Derek where he was sitting beside him, or letting his hand rub circles on the man's knee. Okay, call him handsy or needy or whatever, it wasn't really his fault. He was in a relationship, a love relationship, with a dude that looked like he just stepped off the cover of a magazine. With a personality he was constantly amazed by and he was only eighteen. It was his first relationship, his first boyfriend, his first... Well, everything! And here he was on the last day of a magical ( _yes he's entitled to call it_ _magical_ ) trip in New York, and believe it or not, it was a pain to not just climb this man like a tree or be... grabby in public just to be a fucking show off and scream in the world's face - “ _Bet you didn't see that coming, bitch!_ ”

But no, Stiles could be a gentleman and keep his distance when needed and behave like the well educated son he was. It's just that... Fuck, it was hard to not give in to his impulses.

After a few minutes, the cab came to a stop in front of…

 

“The Central Park Zoo? We're going to the zoo...” Stiles read, excited at the idea. The last time he went to the zoo, he was six and both his parents were with him.

 

Derek smiled at him, nodding his head, then got out of the car, holding the door open for Stiles to climb out after him. The man paid the driver and took his equipment out of the trunk. Stiles instinctively took the bag holding his camera and slipped it over his shoulder, so that Derek wouldn't have to carry everything.

 

“Dude... We're going to the zoo! I'm so excited right now, you have no idea. Here, give me that too.” He said grabbing the black traveler bag in Derek's left hand.

 

The man smiled, lifting an eyebrow. Stiles was so human and helpful sometimes, acting by habit more than anything else. It was nice seeing the teen move to lighten his load even though Derek could carry everything with ease, him being a werewolf with super strength and all. He wouldn't say anything because he knew Stiles was happy to help and telling him off would just hurt his feelings, not something Derek wanted to do.

 

“Do you have any idea how happy I am right now?!” Stiles said, following him to the park entrance. “The last time I went to a zoo, I was six and mom was still alive and healthy.”

“I'm glad you're happy, Stiles. But come on, there's an even bigger surprise for you waiting inside.”

“What? REALLY?!” Stiles exclaimed, his excitement increasing. What had Derek prepared? He could see in the mans eyes it would be something big.

“Yes. Come on.” Derek answered, smiling. Stiles’ heart felt light as a feather as that smile was only for him.

 

At the entrance desk they met a cute little brunette. The girl was the 5'3" kind of petite like Lydia, maybe even a bit smaller than Lydia. She had a heart shaped face with warm chocolate brown eyes, extremely long lashes circling the slight cat-eye shape, typical of Amerasian people, Stiles noticed. She had fair skin though her cheeks were beautifully pink. She shined of health and happiness, and seemed to be a very kind and happy person, though a bit too tactile for his taste, Stiles noted when she threw herself at Derek's neck.

 

‘ _ **Yo, slow your roll, girl. That's my man you're clinging to like a fudging monkey!**_ ’ The boy thought, watching the pair embraced each other a bit too long.

 

No, Stiles wasn't the possessive or jealous type, not at all. Of course he wasn't. He just really wanted to show... Huh? _Kana_ (her name tag read), that Derek was _his_!

But, Stiles was a gentleman, right?! He was totally capable of keeping a smile on his face and not go all - _‘Bitch, back off, He's mine!’_ \- on this cute little person. So he took a deep, calming breath, and continued to smile, shaking her hand happily when she greeted him.

 

“Hi, you must be Stiles. I'm Kana, I'll be the one working with you guys today. I'm so happy to meet you. Derek’s told me a lot about you.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Stiles answered, before asking a bit surprised, “Oh he did?”

“Yes, he's been preparing this day for weeks now.” She said, smile still in place.

“Seriously? For weeks, Derek?” He said, surprised, looking at the man closely. Derek just shrugged and turned his gaze back to Kana. Oh, so he was playing that card, Stiles noticed smirking internally.

“Why don’t we go see if everything's ready?” Derek said, cutting off any chance for Stiles and Kana to keep up their small talk.

“Yes. Please, follow me.” The girl said, leading them up to a path on the right, and around a ‘ _ **Staff only**_ ’ sign.

 

It took them five minutes of walking before Kana finally stopped to open a door hidden in between trees, leading to the underground part of the zoo, where the staff quarters and surveillance headquarters were. There, spinning around in a desk chair, Cora was waiting for them, Cynthia at her side, furiously texting god knows what to some poor soul. The agent lifted her head when she heard them coming.

 

“Oh great you're here. I was starting to search for ways to sedate your sister, Sweet Bun.” She exclaimed, lifting from the desk she was pressed up against. Cora gave her a dark look, pouting. 

“You're the one driving people nuts with your constant texting. Who are you? The Queen of England or something?!” Cora stated, deadpan.

“If I didn't know, I wouldn't have trouble believing you’re Derek's sister.” Cynthia said, wriggling a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

 

Derek put his equipment on the desk, and did the same with the bags Stiles was carrying. He then kissed his sister's head, Cora mumbling she wasn't a kid anymore. That made Stiles smile warmly, as he went to sit next to her.

“Shut up, you love that he does it. Don't even try denying it, mini Hale.”

“I hate you, Stilinski!”

“That's what you try telling yourself.” Stiles retorted, smiling smugly.

 

Derek rolled his eyes at their bickering and Cynthia pocketed her phone to look into the traveler bag.

 

“Perfect. I see nothing's missing. Okay, let's get started then. Stiles, Cora time for you to go change.”

 

“Cora is doing the shoot with me?” Stiles asked, surprised and happy.

“Mmhmm. I wanted to do something with her and since she was in New York too, the timing seemed right. I asked her if she’d be interested in working on this project with you. Hope you don't mind?” Derek explained, a small line creasing between his eyebrows.

Stiles shook his head, and said with a smile,

“No, I'm happy she's part of this one. You still won't tell me what we're going to be doing?” The teen asked hopefully, but Derek just shook his head no and went to sort out his cameras and material.

“You're no fun, Derek Hale!” Stiles exclaimed, following Cora into the dressing room.

“So, what are we changing into exactly?”

“I know as much as you do, Stilinski.”

“Cora, oh sunshine of my life, you're still so sweet when you talk to me.” Stiles joked, crossing his hands over his heart, faking being touched by the girl's behavior.

“Seriously, get naked already so that we can put these...things...on.” She said, taking clothes out of the bag Cynthia gave her. “What the hell, are these even clothes? You can't call these clothes, oh my god, I'm gonna kill my brother!”

“Hey...” Stiles exclaimed loudly, rushing to empty the bag. “This is so... _AWESOME_! Cosplay costumes. Looks like we're gonna be native characters, today. Dude, your bro has killer ideas.”

“You're just saying that because you're dating him.”

“Huh, technically no cause we still haven't been on a date, sooo...”

“So shut up and get dressed. And then help me tie these things.” She said gesturing to the soft brown fringed bralette in her hand.

Stiles smirked before disappearing into one of the private showers. There,he undressed completely before slipping on the mix between a skirt and a loincloth part of his costume. Pretty simple but the thing was to die for with all the accessories;

 

First was the thick brown leather belt securing the loincloth in place, a bit low on his hips. It was embellished with turquoise and other rich stones in orange, black, and grey.

Then around his right calf, he wrapped a long, suede lace from his knee to his ankle. On the other ankle he wrapped a double lace ankle bracelet on which sharp teeth and sparrow feathers hung. A similar band of leather was made for his left upper arm. On his right upper arm he put the large silver slave bracelet over a larger band of dark brown fabric, which had small pieces of fur that looked a bit like mini raccoon tails hung from it.

Stiles then put on the typical, long warriors necklaces. The first one was longer by only a few inches, falling on his solar plexus. The necklace was made of wood beads and pierced stones. The second necklace, shorter than the first, was made of the same stones and three sharp teeth that looked to be from a shark .

The last piece to his costume was a huge wolf skin, complete with the legs, tail and head. It was made to cover Stiles' head like a hood, the front paws falling on his shoulders and the back of the skin falling down his back.

Once he had everything in place, he got out of the shower, folding his clothes to put them in the traveler bag with Cora's.

 

The girl looked stunning, like she was meant to be an Amazon all along. She wore the same loincloth, but it was shorter than Stiles’, and her belt was decorated with turquoise stones, in different sizes, the biggest in the middle of the belt just below the girls belly button. Hanging from the belt, were three big raccoon tails on her left hip and two more plus a fox tail between them on her right hip.

Around both of her ankles, she wore multiple ankle bracelets just like Stiles, made of leather and suede bands and thin silver chains, covering two pieces of fringed fabric falling on both her insteps. Her ankle bracelets were ornamented with sharp teeth, small, black feathers and white shells. The shells sounding like bells each time she moved.

On the top part of her body, she wore a very large bralette top, from which fringe fell on her stomach in a triangle shape, ending a few inches above her belly button. The fringe were ornamented with turquoise pearls.

She had the same kind of jewelry on her upper arms and necklaces, the turquoise stones and silver charms attached to them making hers looking more feminine than Stiles'. She even had a pair of silver dream catcher shaped earrings with small turquoise stones.

Finally, in her hair she had some kind of headpiece made of a one inch, large suede band, laced with leather and ornamented with another large turquoise stone, the stone being the dominant trait in her accessory. And hanging on both sides of her head, were two raccoon tails and long black feathers.

 

“Ok, I have to admit we look freaking awesome dressed like this.”

“Still want to kill your bro?” Stiles asked, amused.

“No. Shut up!” Cora snapped, before turning around showing him her back. “Be a good human and tie my bra, please.” 

“I'm surprised you know how to say please or be polite.” 

“Shut up!”

“Awww that’s the Cora I know and love.” Stiles sighed. Did Cora really have to act so hostile around him? Sometimes he wasn’t sure if she even liked him. “Ok, done. This knot should hold up, no matter what we’re doing.”

“Thanks, Stilinski. We should get out there before Cyn bursts in here ready to have our heads.”

“That woman is terrifying.”

“Exactly the type of agent Derek needs, right!”

“Exactly.” Stiles repeated, smiling wickedly.

 

*

 

When they entered the room where everyone was waiting for them,the silence was so loud it seemed to be ringing against the walls.

 

“Oh sweet Mary of... Derek, I love you and your freaking visions.”

“Ideas. Not visions. I'm not a psychic.”

“Don't retort when I'm talking. This is.... Awesome! _Visionary!_ Now, come here kiddos the fun part is about to begin.”

“There is _MORE_ to our costumes?!” Cora asked, looking afraid.

“Don't worry sweetie, this is the last touch to your characters, the spark!"

“Spark?” Stiles said, intrigued.

 

Cynthia smiled, please to see both teens looking so apprehensive. Going to the table in the farthest corner of the room, near the dressing room's door, she moved one of those big make-up trolleys, where two big silver beauty cases were set up.

 

“How many jobs do you have, by the way?” Cora asked, sarcastic like always and eyeing Cynthia suspiciously.

The woman smiled, and opened the cases, sorting out foundations, powders, bronzers, brushes, sponges, and more things she would need.

“Art’s always been my one true passion, but my interests are many and varied. I went to art school, and studied to be a makeup artist after I graduated. I spent a few years working for fashion shows, and on TV shows and movies, before I decided to open a gallery. I wanted to offer artists like your brother a place to show their work. It doesn’t mean I gave up makeup though. I still work as a makeup artist from time to time, when a friend of mine in the business needs me.”

“That’s... Impressive.” Cora said, surprised and curious to know more about her brother’s agent.

“It’s nothing really, as long as you find something you’re passionate about. Then it becomes fun and easy to do. It's not everyday a piece of cake to have a busy life. But that's what I do and love so...” Cynthia admitted, shrugging. She then turned her eyes on Stiles and asked,

“Can you bring those chairs over here, Sweetheart, and that white case near Derek.”

“Of course.” Stiles said, piling up the chairs and moving them and the case over to Cynthia. The woman smiled,taking the case from his hands, and Stiles placed the two chairs neatly against the table.

“Cora, I'll start with you, please sit.”

The girl did as told, falling gracefully into the chair and Cynthia moved it a bit so that Cora was now facing her.

 

Having nothing else to do, Stiles went to retrieve his phone from the traveler bag left next to Derek, and smiled when he met the mans eyes. He couldn't help the shiver that ran over his skin. _Damn,_ it was so unfair Derek had such an effect on him with the briefest of glances. Stiles was well aware of how screwed he was when it came to Derek Hale, but he wouldn’t trade a single moment of it.

 

“It suits you, you know.” Derek said, his tone soft, gesturing to the outfit Stiles was wearing.

“Thanks.” Stiles smiled.

 

Fumbling with his phone, he came nearer to Derek. He had that urge in his stomach again where he needed to be near the werewolf. He needed the physical proximity between them more and more, feeling the link between them grow bigger with time, deepening so much he just needed to know, to _feel_ Derek near him. _The nearer, the better_. And seeing how Derek moved to be closer to his side, Stiles thought he must feel the same way.

 

“How did you even know I like to dress up on occasion?” He asked, his voice low so that this conversation was just between them.

“Heard you talk about it with Scott once. A party you were suppose to go to.” Derek said, cleaning his camera carefully. Checking a few times if the lens was clean to his liking. It was. But he needed to occupy his hands.

“Oh. But that was...ages ago. We didn't even go to that thing. Something else we had to skip because of... _crazy people_.” Stiles said, holding himself back just in time before blurting a name he knew would turn their day to hell. And he really wanted to enjoy this last day of total freedom with Derek and Cora. He wasn't too keen on letting the name of someone dead ruin everything.

“Well, it's like catching up on time then. I hope you'll have more fun than you would have had at that party.” Derek admitted, really hoping this day would stay in Stiles' memory for a long time. There was nothing better than seeing the teen smile. And lately, it meant everything when that happened. Especially since he knew Stiles' night terrors were coming back full force.

“ _Thank you_ , Derek.” Stiles said, seriously.

 

That intrigued Derek and he turned to look at the teens face closely. Stiles, looked suddenly very open, his cheeks reddening softly. His fingers played with his phone, allowing him to focus them on something while speaking.

 

“Thank you for all the things you've done for me since you came back, and for all you're still doing everyday. And thank you for this weekend. You understood I needed to escape and gave it to me with this amazing gift, so... _**Thank you**_.”

 

Stiles hadn't been that sincere in weeks, except for those moments when he had opened his heart to Derek and told him about his mom and _The Darkness_. And here he was, standing tall and shy, brave like always and being so sincere Derek felt his insides twist. Man, what he wouldn't give to protect his human. What he wouldn't do to make him happy and satisfied. Anything, if it meant seeing Stiles open, carefree and happy to live. Able to forget about all the crap they would find waiting for them back in Beacon Hills for a little while.

 

“Stiles,” he said, putting his camera down on the table. He turned his body so he was facing the teen instead of just standing by his side. Softly, he took Stiles' left hand in his and said in a whisper, too aware they weren't alone in the room. “What I did, what I'm doing and will do for you, it's not an obligation. I do all this because I care, you get that, right? You don't have to thank me. Just seeing you happy, smiling... Nothing else matters to me.”

 

At that moment Derek thought, _**“** **to hell”**_ with holding back. Not when all he really wanted to do was take Stiles in his arm and shower him with warmth and love. Cupping the boy's right cheek, he caught his gaze with his own and said softly,

“What I told you last night, you heard me, right?”

“Yes,” Stiles whispered back, “I did.”

“Good. Then you know it's true, that I was sincere. I have real feelings for you, have for a long time now. And because of that, because I want the best for you, because I just want to protect you, I'll keep being this way with you, always trying to help you, being there when you need someone. I’ll do anything thats in my power to do, for you, Stiles. So... Don't thank me like it's something you have to do. Just enjoy what I'm giving you cause I'm doing it out of love.”

“Derek...” Stiles said, his throat feeling suddenly very tight.

Derek tightened his hold on the teens hand and kept caressing his cheekbone tenderly,

“I know.” He said. He could feel the longing coming off the teen in waves, wanted to kiss Stiles at that very moment, but he couldn't just kiss Stiles whenever he wanted, especially not in the middle of work like he was now. So instead, he smiled softly at his boyfriend before gently pushing him back towards Cynthia, where she was applying neon body paint to Cora's body, the girl giggling with every brush stroke because the soft bristles were tickling her. 

“Dude... The neon paints look so _**awesome**_!!!” Stiles exclaimed, stopping behind Cynthia. She was drawing on Cora's back now, the girl standing up and showing a patience Stiles had rarely seen from her.

 

Her arms, throat, and part of her hips were already covered in tribal drawings, the result being something really mystic, with a good sense of primitive. On her face, Cynthia had done the minimum with makeup - foundation, contouring, blush and she had accentuated Cora's natural eye shape with eyeliner, framing her gaze beautifully by doing her eyebrows just a tad bit darker than their real color. She had applied false lashes and the girl's lips were stained with a bit of pink lipstick, the shade looking really natural like Cora had been worrying or biting on her lips.

Her nose, right under-eye area, forehead and chin were covered in very fine lines of pink neon paint in tribal designs, making her look like a warrior.

On her back, Cynthia was keeping things simple. She drew tribal symbols all along Cora's spine and scapulas.

Looking closer Stiles could recognize some of the Celtic symbols or Runes.

 

“You know runes, too? Seriously, who the _HALE_ are you, woman?”

“Nice reference! I am  _ **a woman**_.... With lots in store for you.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Stiles retorted, sighing a bit.

Cynthia smiled and said,

“I'm really starting to like you a lot, Sweetie Pie!”

“You really have a thing for nicknames, I see. It's frightening.” Cynthia replied with a wicked smile then turned back to finish painting on Cora's skin.

A few minutes later, she declared,

“Okay, hun. You’re done, though no sitting until your back is completely dry.”

“Can I, _at least_ , go pee?” Cora asked, looking relieved to be able to move.

“As long as your back doesn't meet some hard surface, it's okay with me. Don't ruin my artwork or I'll break your bones.”

“Yeah, yeah, loud and clear. Gee, it's just a piss.” Cora said between her teeth before leaving through the dressing room door.

 

Stiles stood gaping for a minute. Cora was such a boy sometimes. He wondered if it was the werewolf gene - that bitch Kali had been pretty masculine too - or if it was her experiences after the fire that were the reason.

 

“Okay, Sweet Cheeks, your turn. Sit down, I’ll start with your face.” Cynthia said, pointing Stiles at the chair in front of her. The boy sat and let out a long breath, feeling a bit weird to know he was gonna be wearing actual makeup for this shoot.

“Why do we have to wear makeup, anyway?” He asked, more by curiosity than annoyance. 

“Because it's outdoors and most of the pictures are gonna be shot from a certain distance.I have to contour your face and make your features pop out.”

“Oh, like comedians do before stepping on stage.” 

“Exactly. Light is great but most of the time it just wipes away your face completely. And I know Derek is very particular when it comes to his work.”

“Yeah, but that's what makes his work so breathtaking.” Stiles confessed, a small smile at the corner of his lips.

 

Cynthia smiled back. She’d seen it the moment Derek had introduce Stiles, seen how fond the teen was of her friend. Now, the more time she spent with them, the clearer it was to see the feeling was mutual and it was far beyond a simple crush.

 

These two young men were deeply in love with each other. The kind of love that made you the most devoted person ever to your significant other. And in her heart she was both relieved and thrilled that Derek had finally found something so precious. That Stiles was charming, and affectionate, and a good person, were all bonuses.

 

“Am I getting the same makeup and drawings as Cora?” Stiles asked, his amber eyes boring into Cynthia's darker ones. He really had stunning eyes, she thought.

“No. Yours is a bit different, has to be. You're like a couple for this shoot, so we have to mark the difference between you two. I'm keeping the same paint and inspired symbols, I'll just give them a more masculine twist.” 

“Cool.” He said, still looking at her face closely, as she bent over him and tilted back his head so that it was easier for her to apply the makeup.

 

Stiles couldn't keep from studying her features. Something he hasn't dared to do before, but the situation allowed him to now.

 

Cynthia was a very beautiful woman, though her traits were a bit discrete. Long, dark red hair fell on her shoulders and back in gracious waves, the kind that happened naturally. There was a squareness to her face that reminded him of Allison in a weird way,  _must be the jaw_ , he thought. High cheekbones, small ears ( _pierced_ ), shaped eyebrows with extremely long and full lashes that framed strange colored eyes, something between dark green and brown with rusty sparkles in the irises. Her eyes had a very definite cat eye shape, and a naturally kind look to them. Judging by her looks only, Stiles thought she must be part African and part white though he couldn't be sure, her tanned skin was very light and her hair was wavy instead of the curls he would have thought her to have.

 

“My mom was only part African, she's from the Pacific Islands, from Martinique. And my dad was Irish, hence the strange eye color.” Cynthia said, reading his mind with ease. 

“Oh... I just... I didn't mean to…” Stiles said, mortified.

“I know, but I could see you asking yourself the questions, so I answered them. My hair color isn't natural though, it's darker than my actual shade.”

“I see.”

“Anything else you want to know?” She asked, smiling warmly. Stiles felt like, if she was speaking to him so freely, without the usual sass, it must be positive.

“No. I just think you're a very beautiful woman. Not that I’m looking... Not that you aren’t worth looking at. I mean, I'm just making an objective observation, on how you have beautiful features and hair.” Stiles started to panic, and his brain-to-mouth filter disappeared altogether.

 

She burst out laughing warmly, going back with her brush on the back of her hand to pick up some more of the concealer she had emptied there. Then said a bit louder, still smiling.

 

“This one’s a keeper, Sweet Bun. Don't you screw things up!”

“I'll take note of that, woman.” Derek answered in his signature growl.

 

She laughed some more and went back to covering Stiles' face with product. It took her a good twenty minutes to be done with his face, neon paint included. Then she gestured with her hands for him to stand up.

Stiles did as shown silently, watching her change brushes going for clean bigger ones. She used new sponges and brushes on him,not using those she had worked with on Cora. Stiles thought there must be a good explanation to that but didn't ask. 

She started with neon pink on his throat, then went with orange, then yellow and green, blue and bright neon purple, covering him in drawings and symbols on his arms, chest, hips, circling his belly button, then she worked on his back from his shoulder blades to the arc of his lower back.

 

“And it's done. Well, I'm proud of my job. You two look amazing.” She said, throwing a glance at Cora, then looking back at him. 

“Perfect.” Derek said, eyeing them too, his photography traveler bag on his left shoulder and camera tightly wrapped around his wrist. He nodded to them, and thanked Cynthia with a small smile.

“Now that you're ready, let's get to the fun part!”

 

*

 

Stiles and Cora let out matching squeals of joy when they were handed lance weapons and Kana came in their direction with two cute Bengal baby tigers. The brunette stopped just a few feet away from them and said,

 

“These two beauties will be the first animals you’ll work with today. They're as sweet as ice cream, so you don't have to fear them.”

“Aww they're so cute. Derek, look, look how beautiful they are.” Cora cooed, her face softening, looking happy like Stiles had never seen her before. Her voice tender and full of amazement when she spoke, Derek standing beside her, looking pleased. Stiles smiled, truly happy they’d found each other after everything that had happened to their family.

 

Dropping down, she put her lance on the ground and extended her hand palm up to the beautiful white tiger in front of her. The animal eyed her suspiciously for a while, judging if she was a threat or not and, Stiles was sure, smelling the wolf in her too. But after a moment of hesitation, the tiger walk to Cora and licked the girls hand making her coo and giggle even more happily.

 

“Looks like Mishka adopted you, Cora.” Kana said, as the baby was now standing on both it's back legs, her front paws pressed onto Cora's chest and giving licks to her nose making her laugh.

 

Stiles felt his heart melt at the sight, then kneeled down on the ground too, offering his hand to the baby in front of him. Seeing that his sister had had nothing to fear from the strange human she was now actively sniffing and licking, the baby ran towards Stiles, jumping on the teen happily, tongue out and ready to lick him, it's little tail wagging with excitement.

 

“Whoa, careful buddy, you're gonna make me fall.” Stiles said laughing, petting the baby, who purred in response, tilting its head so that Stiles could scratch it's fur just below its small chin. "Oh, aren't you a real sweetheart, look at you all cute fur and sweet purring. Derek I want one for my birthday!”

“I'm afraid not, they have the tendency to grow a lot.”

“Oh but look at his tiny tongue, and paws, and tiny ears and tail. I'm so in love. What's this little guy's name?” Stiles asked Kana.

“Shiro. You could tell he's a boy?” She said, surprised.

“I guessed. Only males react to me this way.” Stiles said, wiggling his eyebrows comically.

 

Kana giggled. She turned towards Derek and asked,

 

“When can I come and take them back to their parents?”

“Thirty minutes, is that okay?” The man said.

“It's perfect. And which animals do you want to shoot next?”

“The lions and gold tigers.”

 

“LIONS?!” Cora exclaimed, disturbing Mishka, who was cuddling comfortably in her arms.

“GOLD TIGERS?!!” Stiles asked in the same voice, cradling Shiro in his arms too, the tiger pawing at the wolf head he wore as the hood of his fur cape.

“I told you, you would be surprised.” Derek stated, looking smug.

“That's the understatement of the year, Derek.” Cora said with a perfect eye roll. She smiled warmly to Mishka, who was pawing at her hair.

 

Stiles moved around the rock clearing they were in, a perfect imitation of a natural landscape in Africa, with rock formations, natural brush, and the entrance to a cave not far on the left.

Derek exchange a few words with Kana before the brunette left the scenery. Cora joined Stiles and they both followed Derek's instructions as the man took his place to start shooting them.

He asked them to act freely, and be as natural as possible while playing with the tigers. They did as told, and in no time Kana was back to take the babies back to their parents. Both thought the thirty minutes passed by too quickly. Two of Kana’s colleagues came in after she was out of the room, leading a big female lion, they explained was named Misty and a beautiful male gold tiger answering to Ash.

They spent more time with the adults than the babies, the lion and tiger being more accustomed to humans and photo shooting.

 

And that's how the day rolled by; with lions, tigers, monkeys, auks, some terrifying snakes and then the cutest koala ever, in Cora's opinion. Then came the best two hours of their lives when they changed place again, going from the auks clearing for a part of the zoo more secluded, closed to the public and being highly protected as it was the lair of a whole pack of wolves.

The pack was awesome, friendly, calm and welcoming. Stiles could tell the exact moment the wolves recognized Derek and Cora for being werewolves. The tension in the pack changed just a bit, then eased away once they let them circle and scent them, hand extended towards the alpha, palm up.

The shoot with the wolves was different, more wild, primitive as the wolves reacted to Cora's motions like she was one of them. They acted the same way with Stiles, recognizing him as the mate of the tall man whose scent was covering the teen.

Stiles’ favorite part was when he had to take a defensive pose, lance pointing before him, his body bent low, a foot from the ground, his face close to the alpha facing him. The wolf adopted the same position and bared his teeth as Stiles did the same. At the end he looked like he was growling in the face of the wolf.

When they were done with the wolves, Derek took some pictures of Cora and him alone back in the first clearing as well as some close ups.

 

Hours later, with the sun dipping under the horizon, it was time for them to clean up. Stiles and the two Hales had flights to catch, real life to get back to. Kana brought Mishka and Shiro into the room to say goodbye once they were dressed, and then they were tucked away in a cab, swinging by the hotel to pick up their luggage, and then off to the airport.

  

*

 

Hours later, Stiles was snoring, beat, his head resting on Derek's shoulder as the man worked on the pictures on his Mac.

When they landed in Beacon Hills, Derek drove Stiles to his house, where the sheriff welcomed them with a perplexed frown. _What did they do today for Stiles to be_ _covered in_ _paint and makeup?_ Maybe it was better not to ask, he thought.

Forgetting his tiredness, Stiles waved goodbye to Derek before closing the door behind him and turning to his dad, saying,

 

“Dad, I've got a million things to tell you but, first...” He walked to the man and threw himself into his arms, feeling like it had been a very long time since he’d hugged him last. Then he whispered, his voice tight with emotions,

“Thank you, Dad. Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A BIG, ENORMOUS, _Special THANKS_ to my girl **Darcy** , without her hard work this fic wouldn't be corrected as thoroughly;  
>  _ **So Babe, thank you for putting up so much with me and correcting me.** _  
>  You can find me here: **[](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)**
> 
> See you chapter.


	15. Stilinskis feels!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Here's chapter 15 wolvies; YAY!!!! \O/**
> 
> **_Enjoy_ your reading and don't forget to comment or leave kudos.**
> 
> **Love you all wolvies.**

Stiles spent long hours speaking with his dad after he and Derek came back from their New York trip. The boy had felt like it was time to have an open heart conversation with his dad. _Like they used to do back in times_ , before anything supernatural came into their life.

Once Stiles had untangled himself from his dads arms, he had stated he needed a shower _ASAP_ , to what his dad had vigorously agreed. Giving him that special look stating: “ _I don't even want to know, what the hell you did to be covered in neon paint.”_

 

“Yes, go shower.”

“I'm going, I'm going. Don't give me that look.”

“What look?”

“ _That_ look!”

“Yeah, yeah. Did you eat?”

“We did, but I'm still hungry so if you happen to heat something up...”

“I’ll get a plate ready, now go. You look like a psycho.”

 

Stiles burst out laughing, grabbed his suitcases and climbed the stairs to go shower and get rid of the body paint and makeup. Truth is, he hadn't felt this happy in months, maybe not since his mom was alive.

 

Showering helps ease his nerves a bit, the continual drizzle of the shower head helps him put most of his thoughts in order. Sorting them out enough, to be able to talk clearly and understandably with his dad, later. 

He felt like he was about to have the most important conversation of his life. Felt like _how_ his dad reacted would be the turning point of his future, a future he hoped to spend with Derek. He was inexplicably still worried that his father was going to shoot Derek, or forbid them from seeing each other. Stiles knew his feelings for the older man ran deep, all the way to the bottom of his heart, and that if his dad told him to stay away from Derek, he wouldn’t listen. He felt as pathetic as he’d once accused _Edward Cullen_ of being, but Stiles knew he’d never be able to stay away from the werewolf now that he’d found what he’d been craving his whole life.

Thinking about all the possible situations, he dressed in loose grey sweatpants and his favorite batman t-shirt, before heading downstairs to join his father on the couch. His dad was already seated, a cold beer in hand, a plate of food and a glass of Arizona peach tea waiting for Stiles on the table.

Taking a deep breath, he plopped down on the couch and reached for his plate. He didn’t know if it was his teenage hormones, his nervousness or the long weekend he’d just had but he was famished.

 

“Curly fries and chicken nuggets? Did you have this delivered specially for me, Dad?” Stiles said, smiling and touched by the man's attention.

“What do you think? Eat before it gets cold, I already reheated them once.”

“You're awesome, Dad. Seriously, the best.” His goofy smile and the sparkle in his whiskey colored eyes honest and happy.

 

 

For a while there’s only the sound of him eating and the TV speaking low, his dad was watching a marathon of the last season of Criminal Minds. When he was done he put the plate and glass back on the table and moved around a bit so he was half turned towards his dad. The man immediately turned off the TV, taking that gesture as the cue that his son was about to have a serious talk with him. He focused on Stiles only, which didn't help ease his sons nervousness, but Stiles had to do this. _Now_. Before going any further with Derek.

 

“So uh...Dad, I know I can tell you anything and you'll still love me...” He paused, glancing at his dad for confirmation, and at his nod, continued,

“Well, I uh...I guess the first thing is that I'm pretty sure I'm more gay than bisexual...and uh...I'm hoping you'll be the best dad ever, and not shoot my...boyfriend? When he shows up...cause I have one.” He paused to grin at that.

“And I uh...I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him, like the truly, madly, deeply, you and Mom kind of love. And I think I have been for a long time, probably longer then I'm even aware of.” He trailed off, not sure about the next part, worried despite his dads reassurance.

“It's okay, son, you can tell me.” John reassured, he already knew this was about Derek, and understood that Stiles needed to be able to tell him.

“It's Derek.” Stiles blurted out, fumbling with his long fingers, nervous under the measured gaze of his old man.

“I see.” John took a moment to enjoy this father/son moment, that his son trusted him to tell him the truth, then continued, voice soft with just a bit of amusement in his tone, “Well son, it's good to see you finally admit that you're in love with him.”

 

Stiles is taken aback for a second - _or five_ , gaping like a goldfish at his father before managing to shakily whisper,

“What? You...you knew?”

His dad smiled softly at him before setting his beer down on the table. He arranged himself so he was facing his son, and with a gentle pat to the shoulder, said;

“I’ve known for a while now. That night at the club I didn’t take you seriously. I’m sorry about that, Stiles.”

“Yeeeeeaaaaahh...” Stiles drew the word out, “About that, we were chasing Jackson when he was the Kanima. I wasn’t really trying to tell you I was gay.”

John threw his head back and laughed. He thought it was hilarious that the thing that had sparked this particular investigation wasn’t even true, and yet, all the supporting evidence still stood.

“I've known for a while now, yes. I've had my doubts about your...sexuality, and since that night we've talked outside that gay club I really had time to give it some thoughts. But I told myself it was probably nothing, that you were sixteen and it was totally normal at your age to be confused. But then, Derek Hale happened. And I watched you changed slowly, it went from your choice of clothes to suddenly starting speaking about him, and leaving leads around your room that you've been researching on his family. So, I started wondering, having doubts, and as each day passed my doubts became stronger especially since you completely stopped worshipping Lydia Martin. That's what made it...huh...concrete for me. I thought I would keep this to myself and wait for you to come and talk to me. But then all those crazy events happened and dead bodies starting pilling up all around Beacon Hills, and just like that we had lose the chance to have a talk like father and son.”

 

Stiles kept silent, listening to his dad with an attention span he’d rarely shown in the past. It was shocking to learn that his dad had been paying closer attention to him, and that the things he’d noticed had led him to the conclusion that he was in love with Derek.

 

“You know when we talked after... _that night_. The fact you eluded talking about Derek almost all night and lastly came to him, well, that's how I knew. I don't know if it's part of being a father but I knew. You act differently, your expressions and your eyes are so different when you're talking about Derek Hale. That's what made me understand, even before you admitted it to yourself.” 

“I really don't know how this happened, dad. All I'm sure of is that the moment he came into my life I couldn't ignore him, even if at first he got on my nerves so bad I just wanted to strangle him. But even then, he was always there and I was incapable of ignoring him. I don't know it's like...”

 

Stiles paused for a short moment, searching the right words to explain to his father what Derek had meant for him since day one;

 

“It's like us meeting, coming into each others life wasn't an accident or a trick of the hazard! It's like somehow we got attracted to each other without really understanding how. I hated Derek at first, well I thought I hated him back then. But, then, I learned more about him, he showed me a face he doesn't show to other people, not even to Cora, his only family. I really thought I hated him and despite how I acted with him all that time he always put himself between me and danger, even if it meant he could die, he never blink, not once and always found himself between me and the trigger. And then it was like I just couldn't ignore things anymore. I just couldn't act like I didn't notice how similar and yet so different from one another we are. How we just know what it means to hurt because you lost a part of yourself and then shit hit the fan again, Derek lost even more than he had already lost. And then... He left.”

“I had no idea the darkness would feel like this, you know. It makes me see the very worst things I’m afraid of. One night it got so bad, I just couldn’t breathe, and the darkness was pressing in all around me...” Stiles trailed off, looking his dad in the eyes, tears slipping silently down his face, begging him to just listen.

“Not able to take more hurt, nor loss, I understand why he had to get away. I just never thought his absence would create such a deep gap in my life, in _me_. So, I did what I do best, to make up for what I was feeling and I started researching. First, by trying to figure out where he was, just to be sure he was okay and still alive and after that, one thing lead to another and soon I was finding he's an amazing talented photographer. And dad his work... it just literally blew my mind. So much, I fell in love with the part of him that is the artist.”

 

Stiles paused again, lost in the past, remembering the first photograph of Derek’s he’d found. He felt open and vulnerable, on display for his dad’s eyes, but he knew he couldn't stop talking now, he needed to let it all out, to tell the person that meant the most to him what kind of person he had become with Derek’s help.

 

“The photographs worked for a while, and when they didn’t, I dug deeper, looked for more, looked for anything. When Derek came back, I was slipping again, and I knew they weren’t enough anymore, that I needed someone that could...that _would_ understand. Someone that could push me to my breaking point, but who I trusted not to break me. And that’s always been Derek. You and Scott always want to protect me, but Derek understands sometimes you have to hurt in order to heal.” Stiles explained, hoping his dad would understand why it had been so difficult to come to him with this.

 

John understood what Stiles was trying to say. After the death of his wife he’d been lost, and it had taken the unconditional love and support, not to mention a few tough love conversations, of a close friend for him to find his way again. John knew there was more Stiles needed to say, so he gestured for him to go on.

 

“So when I heard Derek was back I went to see him. I...I don't know why it was so crucial for me to get to him, or why it had to be _him_! But the next thing I knew, I was parking Roscoe in front of his building and then, all of a sudden, he was there... In front of me, alive, back where I always knew him to be and my heart felt like... I don't know.” He paused a moment searching for his words. It was harder to explain then he thought it would be.

“It's...it's like suddenly, after months of suffering, of feeling like I was going deeper and deeper, my heart just...woke up after a decade of sleep and hurt, where I thought that the world would open up and swallow me down to hell, when I asked for his help. When I asked him to be _that_ person for me. And just like always he said yes, without blinking or thinking twice, he just went for it and put himself between me and the danger.”

 

Stiles' gaze met his father's, he seemed to be shinier than an hour ago, the mans face now totally open and showing emotions he couldn't hide when his son was admitting to having needed help, someone to get him out of his own personal hell. And that he found that in Derek.

 

“He’s been helping me since he’s been back. He’s been there for me every single day, which is nice since my best friend hasn’t noticed that I needed help.” Stiles confessed, hurt vibrating in his voice at the thought of Scott not caring enough to offer him his hand when he was lying on the ground.

 

John held back a wave of anger at that information. Stiles had been going through all this _alone_? Scott was his best friend, but he was also his alpha now, and he hadn’t been there to help him?

 

He knew his son, alright, knew Stiles wasn't the kind to ask for help when he was certain he could manage on his own. That was how stubborn his son was. And because of that stubbornness, his son had struggled with his problems, had barricaded himself behind walls so thick, John, _his dad_ , had been totally hopeless, incapable of helping his kid. Witnessing the hurt and sickness eating away at his son and being completely useless in helping his child, hurt almost as bad as losing his wife. Especially when Stiles did everything to push him away and hide his struggle so that his dad wouldn't worry.

 

John had hoped that his son had at least confided in his best friend, since they’d done the sacrifice together, but now realized Stiles had been pushing Scott away too, should have noticed sooner because the boy had acted exactly the same way after his mom died and the first panic attacks had kicked in.

Things were different this time, more than panic attacks, which he’d always been able to lead his son out of, soothing him patiently, waiting for the wave of panic to pass and truly be gone. These nightmares held him captive while he screamed and cried, thrashing around, unconsolable, because this time he hadn’t lost someone, but lost himself. All to save his father.

And that...that was the worst, because John had seen it in his kid's eyes, the _shadows_. He had witnessed his body getting skinnier each day because Stiles had lost the never ending appetite he’d once had. He had watched his child’s face thin, cheeks growing gaunt as if it was Stiles with cancer and not his deceased wife.

The only reason he’d held back from pushing Stiles, decided to let his son come to him when he was ready, was because he was certain Stiles at least had Scott to help him with this. But now, knowing that hadn’t been the case, he couldn't shake off the horrid feeling of guilt creeping in his gut.

 

“What do you mean Scott didn't even notice? How could he not notice when every day you looked more and more like a freaking zombie? Where was he when it's clear to me you needed help?” John rumbled, anger evident. “What the hell, Stiles? I didn't bother you more because I felt you would come to me when you were ready but that's only because I thought you at least had Scott to rely on. What the... Can you explain to me what the hell he was doing when you were clearly losing it?”

“He had to deal with his own Darkness, dad.”

“Don't even try to make excuses for him, _Genim_.” John's voice boomed.

  

Stiles looked at his hands, a part of him feeling ashamed for make excuses for Scott, but the guy was still his best friend, or at least Stiles really hoped that still meant the same for the new alpha as it did for him.

 

“Stiles...” John said, clearly waiting for an answer.

“I don't know what’s gotten into him dad, okay? I really don't. I know he struggled a lot to fight back his wolf instincts and I tried helping him the best I could. But he just didn't care or notice, I don't know. It's like him going through the Darkness wasn't as bad as it was for me. I was losing my mind, I _really_ was and all I wanted, all I hoped for was for him to take a minute, forget about him being an alpha now and just care, help me, listen to me. But... But, he never did.” Stiles confessed, his voice a mere whisper at the end.

 

It was so clear now how much Scott’s blindness had truly hurt him. And what was scarier, he thought, was how he really had no clue how he would get past this and forgive his friend after all that had happened. He didn’t want to lose his best friend.

 

John clenched his fists angrily, he wanted go find Scott, to tell him how much of a shitty best friend he had been, but he held himself back, knowing his son wouldn't appreciate something like that and right now Stiles was the most important thing in the world. Scott McCall could wait for the sheriff gave him a piece of his mind.

 

“That's why I started researching for Derek in the first place. So that I had something to keep focused on, and it kinda worked, you know. During the day my mind had something to pay attention to long enough so that I could breathe better for a few hours. At night though, I was hopeless.” Stiles said, his tone calm, even though speaking about all this really shook him inside. Extending his arms he reach for his dad’s clenched fist, the fist slowly loosening under his touch.

“I should have done more. I should have tried harder to get you to talk to me. Had I known you had to face all that alone, I...”

“There's nothing you could’ve done. You tried hard enough, dad! I just wasn't ready to talk to you or ask for your help. But I know you tried, and for that thank you. You're the best dad any kid could dream of having. So, please forget about Scott, okay. I can handle him later.”

 

John sighed heavily, his son was right. As an adult and the sheriff he couldn't just go find someone else' kid and yell at them for behaving like a total douche to their best friend. He might as well let his kid handle Scott his way when Stiles felt like doing so.

 

“Alright.” He said. Then asked, “You said Derek has been helping you... How?”

 

Stiles swallowed, feeling a sheen of sweat cover his back. Okay, now came the awkward part, the part he was really scared would send his dad to Derek’s door to put him in jail... _Again_.

Taking a deep breath he took out his phone from his pocket, thinking it would be best to show his dad the truth than try to explain it and fail.

 

“When I went to Derek and asked him to help me, I wanted it to be in a way I could express myself but...um...without having to say anything.”

 

His thumbs ran across the screen of his phone a few seconds before he found the pictures and selecting the first one, he extended the phone to his dad who took it looking confused at his son.

 

“I told you Derek is a photographer...”

“Yeah...?” His dad said, unsure of where his son was going with this conversation.

“Yeah, well, huh...I went to see Derek and asked to be his model.” He blurted out quickly, holding his breath.

 

His dad stilled and then suddenly shouted; 

 

“ _YOU DID WHAT?_ ” His eyes looked bigger with his sudden outburst. “Excuse me, but I think I misheard you!”

“No. You didn't. I've been Derek's model for the past few months. And before you scream again, it's always been PG:15, Dad. Nothing else. I... I know it's weird for you and you must want to go find Derek and put him behind bars right now, but I really needed to do this.”

 

John kept silent a long while, holding Stiles' gaze. He could see how important this was to his son, and finally conceded in letting his eyes go to the screen of his son's phone. Looking at the pictures one by one.

 

Stiles held his breath, even stopped moving because he feared breaking the moment. He witnessed the change of emotions passing on his dads face, the mans eyes watering a bit at some of the really intense portraits.

Slowly, he started breathing normally again, sure now that he had the man's attention and that his father was open to the discussion,

 

“What Derek gave me is of an inestimable value, dad! He could have said no. Could have thrown me out and told me I was insane and that he didn't want anything to do with a kid. But he didn't. He said yes to me asking for help. He offered me the opportunity of changing my mind and didn't push me into saying yes or doing something I didn't want to.” He paused a moment, back to fumbling with his fingers,

“Derek saw right away I was in distress. He understood before I even opened my mouth, Dad. Compared to my best friend, the person I consider to be my brother, who never noticed how bad I was doing. Being his model isn’t about standing in front of his camera and posing for hours to feed my narcissistic ego.”

Looking back at his father, he kept talking;

“What Derek gives me is the opportunity to let my emotions out. He doesn't need to ask me how I feel or if I want to talk about it for endless hours, he just lets me act freely, on impulse, following my feelings at the moment. If I need to express anger, pain, fear, joy, love, shyness, unease, whatever I want to express he just lets me do it freely at my own pace. Never pushing me. Never abusing my fragile mind.” Stiles paused again, wanting his father to really think about what he’d said.

“Derek does all this because he respects me. Because he cares enough, he said yes right away when I showed up on his doorstep. He cares enough to send me messages whenever he feels like it, just to check if I'm doing okay; And what's amazing is that he doesn't even need to ask the actual _**'How are you?'**_ to know how I feel. He just usually sends a text asking me what I think of something he saw or heard or he just slips in a joke and he can just tell what mood I'm in with my answer. He knows because he really cares for me.”

 

It had been a very long time since John had seen his son so passionate, so alive, and he understood this was something he owed to Derek Hale. Because by being what Stiles needed him to be, he managed to bring his kid back to life. And just for that, John knows he won't go find the man and shoot his werewolf ass.

 

“His door is always open for me, no matter how late it is, and he always lets me sleep at his place when you're on night shifts because I have nightmares and wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks. When that happens Derek is always there, taking the time to calm me down until I fall back asleep.” Stiles admitted, feeling relieved that he was able to tell his dad how he had struggled with the nightmares, for months now, and how Derek had always taken care of him afterwards.

“I...I could go on for hours and tell you how amazing and caring Derek is, but even then it wouldn't be enough to express how grateful I feel. I'm not using my words lightly here, okay, Derek...he...he really saved me when I thought I was gonna drown!”

“Son...” John tried to say only to be cut off by Stiles;

“I don't see how what we’re doing is wrong? How what we have can be wrong when it helped so much already?”

“Son, listen to me, it isn't, okay! I get it, I do. Don't work yourself up, please. I do get it, really. I'm sorry I shouted. It was just me being a father and a sheriff, that's all.” The man said, putting his hands on his son's shoulder, squeezing them gently.

 

Stiles’ breath regained its normal rhythm. He didn’t know why the thought of his dad not being okay with him and Derek had worked him up so much, just that he _had_ to make his dad understand.

 

“Dad...”

“Son, I'm gonna ask you what any parent would ask their kid when faced with such a situation. I want you to really think about it, and be honest, understand?”

“Yeah, okay.” 

“Good. Are you sure of yourself? Do you really see your relationship with Derek lasting? I need you to be sure, Stiles. I don't want you to face the heartache of a breakup, if you're not sure of this.”

“I... I'm...” Stiles stuttered, his mind suddenly clouded with the weight of his dad’s question. His heart, even though it was pounding, felt more peaceful, his chest lighter than it had in years. After giving it some serious thought, he met his father's gaze. 

“I'm sure, certain this is going to last, Dad! I don't know how, or why I can tell I'm certain, but... _I know_!” Stiles said, looking more serious and determined than ever.

“I already love him so much, Dad, you have no idea what it's like to have all these feelings! I'm...so scared and happy, both at the same time and I just... I can't picture myself without him anymore. I can't go back to being without him now that I know exactly who I’m suppose to be with.” He confessed, needing his dad to understand. He needed more than anything for his father to get how important this was for him.

“I know I’m only eighteen, Dad, and that to you I’m still a kid, and Derek is a much older adult, and you probably think I don’t really know what I want, but I’m an adult and I do. What we have between us isn’t a game, or a crush, it’s not silly or experimental. It’s serious and it’s strong... What I feel... I’ve never felt as strongly before. And it’s so fucking scary but I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Okay.” John said, smiling softly. Patting his son shoulder, he repeated, “Okay. But he'll still have to come and have dinner with us. There's no way I'll let him date my son without having to put up with me first.”

“Of course not.” Stiles said, smiling. “So...you're okay with me continuing to see him? And I can still be his model?” Stiles asked, not really believing his ears.

“Yeah. Yes, I'm okay with that. But I'm still the sheriff and still your dad, Stiles. Please be careful and discreet, okay? I'm serious.” 

“I will. We will be, dad. You have my word, you don't have to worry about anything. And to be honest, right now I don't want anyone else to know. Not even Scott.”

“Okay. What do you say we watch one episode of NCIS and then go to bed?” John asked him, smiling, remote already in hand.

“I’d prefer Criminal Minds instead.”

“Criminal Minds it is then.” John said, pushing some buttons on the remote.

 

Before he pushed play, he turned his head towards his son and said;

 

“Oh Stiles, one more thing.” 

“Yeah, what is it?” Stiles asked, curious.

“No sex before you're forty!” John stated, deadpan.

  

Stiles blushed violently, choking on a drink of his tea. Coughing he exclaimed;

 

“Daaad!!!!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it for today wolvies.  
> How did you like this chapter?  
> It was really full in feelings, sorry... It happens sometimes ^.^  
> What about you let me know in a comment?! It's always a pleasure and very helping to read what you guys have to say.
> 
> Special thanks to you Babe, cause damn the work you did on this.... ( _well you know what i mean lol_ ).
> 
> The following chapter will arrive soon I hope, it's written we just need to do the boring work of correcting it now, so a bit of patience my loves !!!!
> 
>  **In the mean time, you can find me here:** _[My Tumblr](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)_


	16. Decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay \o/ Chapter 1§ is finally here... So happy.  
> I hope you guys will like it.  
> Give a kudos or leave a comment to let me know what you thought.
> 
> xoxo  
> Sin.
> 
> Good Reading!

>  
> 
>   
> “ _ **Stiles... Stiles... Stiles... Stiles... STILES!”**_

 

Monday morning. 

 

It was still dark outside when Stiles startled awake, his bedroom still bathed in the blackness of night. Breathing shakily, the teenager tried to untangled himself from the chaos that were his sheets, his comforter laying partly over his upper body and partly on the ground, the sheet under it completely tangled around Stiles' waist and legs. 

It was the quickly building panic of a nightmare that had woken him up, almost an hour earlier than his programmed alarm. He couldn't remember the last time he had awoken like this, drenched in sweat thanks to the memory that had kept him trapped in hell all night long, and panting for breath. It had been awhile, a long time really, since it had happened, so long that only a pale memory of those darker times remained.

Breathing out slowly, Stiles finally managed to free himself from his sheets. He ran a shaking hand over his face, lying still a minute, trying to regain control of his too fast beating heart and he wondered _**why?**_ Why, after the last two months, when things had started to look better and _go_ better, why now was he back to having dreams that ended in panic? So vivid, and yet he was unable to remember any of it, other than the fright he had been in all night long, that had been strong enough to cause his heart to beat like mad in his chest, so violently it physically hurt.

When he finally felt like he could get up without his legs giving out under him, Stiles threw his legs over the side of the bed. He stood and made his way to the bathroom. He wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anyway, and he felt like he needed a shower to shake him out of his weird trance.

If only he could recall what he had dreamt about, maybe it would be easier for him to actually tell his mind to calm the fuck down, that it was only a dream and there was no need to be so shaken about it. But even now he felt a panic attack in his gut, building, growing slowly, waiting for the right moment to strike.

 

_Why?_

 

Just when he was doing fine, kind of. He had told his father about all the burdens he’d been carrying on his shoulders for the past eight months or so, and was happy in a healthy relationship with, _yes, okay his boyfriend was a werewolf and that wasn't really normal_ , but it didn't matter when that werewolf treated him like the eighth Wonder of the World. And, his dad knew about the relationship, and had approved of it.

So yeah, everything was good, it was just his heart that was completely messed up. He had really thought he would be able to live normally from now on. He guessed the trickster in his heart had had other plans all along, if he was back to having psychotic, frightful nightmares that left him barely holding it together when he woke up and unable to recall any of the shit he had dreamt of or done in the night.

 

Turning the lights on in the bathroom, Stiles was taken aback by his reflection in the mirror. The nightmare must have been _really_ bad if he was back to looking like a freaking _zombie._ Skin paler than usual, bloodshot eyes, sickening dark circles and his face bearing hollows he couldn’t explain. His hair was a mess too, way messier than usual, it looked like he had been pulling on it violently all night. He wondered if he inspected his head, if he’d find patches where the hair was missing.

Shuddering at the sight, he tried to ignore his reflection the best he could as he reached over and turned the taps on, the bathroom filling with steam as the water heated. After a moments hesitation he decided he needed to bury himself under the water more than he needed the pounding spray of a shower, so he pushed the plug into place.

He started to undress, his body aching with each movement as if he had run a marathon or participated in intense training the night before. Those weren’t the reasons though, these aches were the result of his body holding itself tense for too long through the night.

Dropping his clothes in the laundry basket, Stiles chanced a look at his reflection. The shock was so great that he stepped back from the mirror quickly, his back colliding with the cold wood of the bathroom door.

Lifting a shaky hand, his fingers went to touch his chest, he... He couldn't believe what he was seeing. The skin had turned an angry red where he had scratched it too furiously, some of the scratches sore and covered in dried blood after having broken through the skin with the furious, violent scratching of Stiles’ blunt nails. It looked like he had tried to tear his heart out.

 

“No...” He whispered, taking in the damage. _No_ , he thought, he _couldn't_ go back there. He wouldn't be able to survive it, to come out of it this time if he was back to self harming himself in his sleep, trapped in a too vivid nightmare.

 

Looking away, he climbed into the bathtub, sinking down enough for the water to cover him to the shoulders. Linking his arms around his legs, he tried to breathe in and out slowly. Gaining control of his breathing would already be a small victory, proof that he could still control his body, his mind, without letting _**The Darkness**_ swallow him again. 

 

Resting his head on his knees, he slowly started to calm down. All along, he wished he could have been with Derek. He needed the man so badly it hurt. He needed to be with him, to feel safe and secure. To forget _**The Darkness**_ existed, because weirdly, and he didn't know how, Derek was able to make him forget for a while. He wanted, needed to hear Derek's voice, but it was too fucking early, and he didn’t feel like waking up the man to brag about his nightmare at five in the morning. Derek already went out of his way for him enough like that, Stiles didn't want to feel like he was taking advantage of his boyfriend’s kindness. He'd just  have to wait till 6pm to see him for their scheduled photo shoot.

Sighing, Stiles sank down slowly, letting the water cover him completely. Bubbles of air left his mouth to go burst at the surface. He closed his eyes and stayed underwater for long minutes, trying to clear his mind from the fear still hanging over him from the nightmare.

 

*

 

At lunch that day, out of habit now more than anything else, Lydia came to find him at his usual table near the windows. He was sitting alone, and eating slowly without even realizing, looking out the window, his gaze far away.

The sound of the plastic plate colliding with the table tore him out of his thoughts. Turning his head, he met Lydia's gaze. She looked sharper than ever today and confirmed it when she spoke,

 

“Rough night? You look like a freaking _zombie_ , Stilinski.” 

“Yeah... I do.” He mumbled, going back to looking outside.

“Wanna talk about it?” She asked gently, her hand reaching out to cover his, making him turn his attention back to her. As much as he wanted to relieve himself of the burden of last night’s nightmare, she wasn’t the one he wanted to talk to or be with right now. So he just shook his head **no** , not wanting to hurt her feelings.

“No. Not really.” 

 

She was silent for awhile, studying him with her intense gaze. Maybe it was because he was feeling down today but it felt like the first time he didn't feel naked under her gaze as she studied him closely.

 

“Okay, then. Let's talk about something else. How was New York, and the exhibit?” She asked, curiosity shining in her eyes. That made him smile a little. He reached for his phone, thumbs working magic on the screen for a second then  held out the phone in her direction.

“New York was... Magical! Freeing! Perfect!” 

“ _Magical_ _, freeing, perfect?!_ ” She repeated, her lips pulled into a small grin. Clearly she had missed something, Stiles was being more cryptic than usual, which only meant one thing.

“Oh my god! You and Derek…?” She exclaimed in a whisper when he turned warning eyes in her direction. 

 

Her letting the entire school know he was dating an adult wasn't really what he needed or wanted right now. Especially when he hadn't told Scott and wasn't looking forward to having to explain himself once his best friend found out he had been ditching pack meetings to spend his time modeling for Derek.

 

“This stays between us, Lydia. I don't want Scott to find out until I’m ready to tell him. I want it even less than him finding out about the modeling, okay?”

“You know your secrets are safe with me, but I expect you at my place Wednesday after school so you can give me all the details." She said mischievously.

“Wednesday, okay. It's a date. I'll come by before going to Der's.” Stiles answered. She noted the nickname and her smile grew.

“You should eat. You really look like you need it.” She said gently.

“Hm...” Was his only reply but he obliged and went back to eating his potato balls, sautéd vegetables and mustard chicken.

“Can I ask you something, though?” She asked, lowering her voice.

 

Stiles met her gaze, could tell she was about to ask something serious, and nodded his permission.

 

“Are you sure about... _The Blue_?” She asked.

 

Stiles frowned, wondering why she was talking in code all of a sudden, but then he noticed Scott, Allison, and Isaac in line to get their lunch. He got it then, _The Blue_ referring to him and Derek, to their relationship. Stiles thought it was funny that she'd picked Derek’s werewolf eye color as a code for them.

 

“What I mean is, have you really thought it through?”

“Yes, I’ve really thought it through, Lyds. I’ve never been more sure about anything else in my life.”

“Hmm... I can see that.”

“You can?”

“Yeah.What about your dad?”

“My Dad said _Blue_ was great, he thinks it’ll be good for me. Thank you, for asking though.”

“I think he’s right.”

“You do?” 

“Yeah... _Blue_... Really is your color.”

 

Stiles smiled, Lydia had become a really great friend, the kind that he knew with certainty, he'd still have thirty years from now. She smiled back.

 

A minute later they were interrupted by the chatter of their friends, plus Ethan, Danny and Aidan as they were coming their way. Lydia looked quickly at the pictures on his phone before sliding it back across the table to him. She discreetly raised her left thumb, indicating her approval of the photos.

 

* 

 

When Stiles got home later that afternoon, his dad’s cruiser was already parked in front of the house, and Stiles knew what was coming before he even passed through the front door.

 

“Dad, I'm home.” He exclaimed, closing the door behind him.

Kicking off his shoes, he dropped his backpack next to them under the coat rack, on the right.

 

“Hey kid, you're home early. Weren't you suppose to meet Derek?” His dad asked, coming out of the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his left hand.

“I am. Harris was miraculously sick so I finished school early. I thought I’d come home for a bit before going over to Derek's.” 

“Okay.” His dad said, smiling gently. He was still a bit surprised to see how very serious Stiles had become regarding Derek, felt like his son had grown up too quickly, too soon. But he’d also seen how good their relationship was for Stiles, so he could accept it more easily. 

“Listen, something came up and I have to be on night shift tonight.”

 

The wave of panic came quickly and out of nowhere, and hit Stiles with violent force all of sudden. He’d known it would happen, when he saw that his dad was already home, but hadn't expected reacting this way. And in the blink of an eye he felt himself start gasping for breath, the panic attack from this morning choosing this moment to strike.

 

He’d hoped all day long that the attack wouldn't come at all, that it would subside with the hours of focus school asked of him. But the thought of being alone tonight, of having another nightmare, and maybe wake up tomorrow with worse than scratches, without his dad around to know he's safe at home. He can't. He just _can't_. He needed someone with him or else he'd go nuts.

 

In less time than it took to be said, his dad grabbed him by the shoulder and lead him to the couch. Next thing Stiles registered, he was sitting on it, his dad kneeling before him, holding Stiles' hands against his chest. He spoke to him in a gentle voice, controlled, acting out of experience.

 

“Stiles, son, listen to me. Focus on my voice. It's okay, you don't have to panic, I've got you. I’m here, son. Can you hear me, Stiles?”

“I-I...yes. I-I can't...can't brea-the...” Stiles painfully answered. The panic was strong, violent,shaking his every bone, and compressing his chest painfully.

“Okay. You can hear me. That's good, son. Now, focus on my hand holding yours... Like this, yes. Now, feel my chest rising. Follow the movement. Breathe in... Don't force it, take your time... Okay, good. Breathe, yes, like this. Now, hold. One...two...three, and release slowly. That's it son, that's it. Again, breathe...hold...release.”

 

They do that a long time, until Stiles has calmed down and the panic attack has been controlled.

 

“Okay. Okay. It's okay, son. I've got you.”

“Dad!” 

“I've got you, Stiles.” John said. When he was calmer, John moved to sit next to his son. It had been years since he’d had to talk his son down from a panic attack that violent.

"I'm gonna call the office and tell them I'm staying with you tonight.”

“No!” Stiles exclaimed with more force than he’d intended. He shook his head and took a breath, trying to find it in him to talk calmly without stuttering, 

“No, they need you. I-I... Can I just stay at Derek's tonight? I-I don't...I can't be alone tonight.” He closed his eyes, concentrating on breathing slowly, he didn't want to work himself back up and the panic attack return.

“Okay. Okay. You can stay with him tonight, but I'm driving you, okay, there's no way I'm letting you drive after an attack like that.”

“Whatever you want, Dad.” Stiles answered, feeling himself calm down. A wash of tiredness replaced the panic he’d felt all day long in his body.

 

He doesn't really understand what happens next, but he can hear his dad moving around. The next thing he knows, he's got his sneakers on, his backpack is on the back seat and his dad his driving the cruiser through town. Stiles dozed back and forth between sleepiness and being awake.

 

Then, the cruiser was parked in front of Derek's building. Stiles heard the drivers door open then close. Then his dad was standing on his side of the car, backpack on his left shoulder and a duffel bag in the same hand. _When did his dad_ _have_ _time to_ _pack_ _him a duffel?_ Stiles got out of the car and followed his dad across the street.

 

At the building's entrance door, Stiles tapped in the code and the door opened. They climbed into the elevator, and Stiles tried to ignore the sheriff throwing worried looks towards him where he was barely standing up against the elevator's wall. The panic had worn him down so much he was almost sleepwalking right now.

 

> _I need_ _to talk to Derek ASAP._ John thought.

 

They knocked at the door and it was immediately opened by a surprised Derek. The man eyes going from Stiles to the sheriff and back.

 

It was suddenly all Stiles could smell, Derek's scent, and at the smell of it, he seemed to come out of his daze just enough to step forward and press himself against the man's chest, and in a tired voice he asked,

 

“Can I stay here tonight, please?” 

“Yes. Of course. Are you alright?” Derek asked, worried. Stiles wasn’t behaving like himself and he could smell the subsiding smell of panic and curiously, of dried blood on him.

“Hm... Wanna sleep?” Stiles whispered, his eyes closing slowly now that he was surrounded by Derek's scent and warmth.

“Uhh... Why don't you come in. I'll put him to bed, I feel like you and I need to talk, John.”

“Good idea.” The sheriff said, closing the door behind him and watching Derek lead Stiles towards the bed. Stiles tossed shoes, socks and hoodie before he climbed into the bed, following Derek's whispered instructions. He barely had his head on the soft looking pillows before he was fast asleep. Derek watched him a second listening to his breathing, then ran his fingers through Stiles' hair.

 

*

 

“John, what's going on?” Is the first thing Derek asked once back in the living room part of the loft with the sheriff.

“He had a panic attack when he came home. I told him I had to work tonight and it just...happened. I didn't have time to blink and he was gasping for air.” John said, worried all over again. He really didn't like the state his son was currently in. “I don't get it, he was doing fine this week. And these past two months, too. He hasn’t had any nightmares since you came back from New York and today he just... It's like going back eight months ago after that fucking night. It completely messed up my son, that crazy woman totally broke him and now I can only watch and there's nothing I can fucking do to help him out of it .” John exclaimed, pacing the floor back and forth in total Stilinski' fashion. Stiles took after his dad more than Derek had thought.

“Okay... What I'm gonna ask of you, goes against all I believe in and the oath I took, but you know what, to hell with laws, there's nothing I won't do when it comes to my kid's safety.” John said, cop face on. Looking very serious, Derek waited patiently for the man to continue.

“I don't trust leaving him alone when I'm on night shift, not after all he told me last week and not after he, himself, stated he wanted to come here and not be left alone. I think something happened last night, that was the cause of his panic attack.” John explained, still passing the floor. He finally came to an abrupt stop, lying his hands flat on the kitchen counter top, facing Derek behind it,

“Right now, you're the only person I trust with my son. Even more than I would trust Scott, Derek. Which is why I'm asking you this; would you come to the house or have Stiles stay with you when I'm working night shifts?”

“Yes, of course. You don't even have to ask.”

“Great. Also, after his panic attacks he always feel sleepy and weird, which is why I don't trust him to drive, can you make sure he doesn't do it if he's had another attack?” 

“Yeah.” Derek answered. He threw a glance to the sleeping form in his bed, and took a moment to think things over. “How about when he comes to sleep over I take care of driving him to school in the morning and picking him up after his last class. I don't know why but I feel like today was only the beginning of something we didn't think we’d have to deal with... Again!” He added, remembering what Stiles had told him about the first month, right after the sacrifice.

“I'd...really appreciate that, Derek. I’m really worried about him and I just couldn’t handle it if something was ever to happen to him. Again. The thought of him already dying once is enough to keep me awake at night, standing at his door just to be sure he's still breathing.”

“John...You really can trust me, I will do everything... Everything to keep him safe and help him out of this!” Derek swore to the man, his eyes intense with the promise he’d just made and the love he had for Stiles.

 

Nodding absently, John replied, 

 

“Yeah, I know you will.” He looked at his son one last time, before he turned back to Derek.

“If anything happens you have my number and you can also reach me at the station. I'm sorry but I have to go, my shift starts soon.”

“I have everything under control here. Don't worry.”

“Thank you, Derek.”

“I'll do anything for him. I really do love him, you know?” Derek confessed.

“Yeah... I know you do. And I know my son loves you too.”

 

After that John was gone, worry still clawing at his heart, but knowing Derek was with his son was a bit of a relief, enough at least for him to keep a clear head at work that night.

 

*

 

Derek slowly took Stiles’ things out of his duffel and put them in the top drawer of his cupboard in the dressing room. He had just finished putting in the back room next to the bathroom when they left for New York. It felt good to see the teens clothes next to his own.

He went back to Stiles, and watched him for awhile. His protective instincts roared into life when he noticed Stiles starting to writhe. Derek didn't give him time to lose himself in what he recognize to be a new nightmare. He tossed his clothes, everything but his boxer briefs, on the chair next to bed, and climbed into the bed with Stiles, wrapped himself all around the lean body, his hand caressing the teens hair soothingly. Stiles seemed to know Derek was the one holding him, and he let himself go limp against the warm body of his boyfriend, not once waking up.

 _  
_Derek isn't aware of the time flying by slowly, he only knows he wants, _needs_ to keep his man safe. He just doesn't know if the demon he's fighting against this time, will be easy to tame or not. Even if he has the most difficult fight of his life, he knows he'll go into it without blinking, because Stiles was his mate and he’d do anything to save him, sacrifice anything.


	17. Author's Note

 

 

Hey there wolvies, I'm so sorry to give you false hopes but no this isn't a new chapter. Sorry, it's coming soon but you'll need a bit more patience until then.

  
  
The reason I'm posting today is because I would like to point out a few things regarding the story:   
  
  
**1).** You'll all notice I made a bit of a change regarding the title as it didn't fit the story that much anymore so instead of _**"Can You See Me Through Your Lens?"** _ , it is now only _ **"Can You See Me..?"** _ .   
  
  
**2).** I'm still looking for people to work with me and make things like a fanvid or gifsets or fanart to summarize visually the story as its a big part of it.   
  
  
**3).** As you all know or at least most of you, there's a playlist I made on 8Tracks that you can go listen to every time you want, here's the link: [ _**Can You See Me?** _ ](http://8tracks.com/theshiwolf/can-you-see-me)  
  
  
**4).** For those who would have doubts, the story is still in progress and not near ready to be over. I'm happy to say I started working on chapter 23. **Yay \o/.**   
  
  
**5).** As someone kindly asked me: Stiles here is only seventeen and like eleven months old.   
  
  
**6).** Finally, if you have any questions regarding the story please reach out to me. I'll answer gladly.   
  
  
**7).** I almost forgot, you can always find me and come talk to me on _**[My Tumblr](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)**_.

  
  
There I think I covered it all.   
_xoxo, my wolvies._ _  
__Sin._

 


	18. Voices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there wolvies, SURPRISE!!!! Here's chapter 17. \O/
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy reading it.  
> Let me know by leaving a comment ;-)
> 
> xoxo  
> See you next chapter;  
> Sin.

_Two weeks_ , that's all it took for all Hell to break loose!

Having that panic attack had been like opening a tap, letting the flood of whatever was blackening Stiles' heart out, rushing like the strongest torrent.

Stiles constantly felt exhausted because he wasn’t able to sleep, not anymore, not even when he was over at Derek's or when the man came to spend the night at the Stilinskis, when his dad was on a night shift. Which had been more frequent these past two weeks. It was as if Stiles’ new psychotic breakdown was in sync with the increase of criminality in Beacon Hills.

The nightmares were constant now, and most of the time he couldn't remember them or he only had pieces of what he had dreamt about left in his mind. What he knew, though, what he was sure of, was of that same voice calling to him over and over again in his sleep.

It was like a far, far away cry trying to reach out to him, and he had no idea why. Just that the voice wouldn't stop, it was so insistent.

And amongst all that, he could feel the pull stronger than he had felt over the last two months. It was like the Nemeton had suddenly awoken too, and was pulling Stiles towards its roots. As if it had decided Stiles had had enough peace lately and it was time to start fucking with him again.

Everyday was a fucking hardship to get through; He was exhausted, jittery, on guard and hurt. Physically hurt. Because every night came a new nightmare, worse than the one he’d had the night prior and every morning he found something new tainting his skin. Scratches around his heart, looking more like claw marks nowadays, bruises on his arms and legs, a lip bitten so badly Stiles’ pillow was cover in blood. And more panic attacks, the majority of them happening at night. They were the worst because he couldn't stop them, he couldn't prevent them from coming and he _feared_... He feared one day, one of them would send him to the hospital or worse.

 

*

 

Today was Wednesday, and like every Wednesday now, Stiles was meeting Lydia after school before going over to Derek's. His dad was working a night shift and he was spending the night at the loft.

To be honest, meeting Lydia was a breeze. Even though Stiles hadn't been able to explain everything that was going on, he knew she had figured out something was really wrong with him. 

At least _**she** _ had noticed something. Not like his supposed best friend.

 

The first time Scott had been completely blind to the hell Stiles was going through, Stiles could understand, _had_ understood, and he had been there to help Scott the best he could for his werewolf best friend to get back on his feet. But now that things were going berserk again, it was a shock for Stiles to acknowledge his best friend was not seeing a thing, this time because of Scott's new love interest.

Don't get him wrong, Stiles was happy to see Scott move on from the " _Allison, Isaac & Scotty melodrama show"_, but Stiles really wished Scott would take two minutes to ask him how he was doing. Sadly, it hadn't happened in the past, and still wasn't happening now! 

So Stiles had found the listening ear he’d needed in Lydia. Wednesday after school had become their thing, and for two hours Stiles was happy to say he was glad to forget about everything else and be able to talk freely to someone that really cared, _(that wasn't his dad or Derek)_ , about what was going on with his life. With her it was so easy to let go and just talk.

 

He arrived at her house soon after school had ended, with hot beverages from the coffee shop he knew was her favorite and cinnamon rolls because he was craving the ones his mom used to make.

Parking Roscoe, he climbed out of the jeep, backpack on his shoulder and the distinct paper bag from the coffee place in hand. He’d barely rung the bell before Mrs. Martin was opening the door and saying with a smile,

 

“Hello Stiles, good to see you. How are you?”

“Hey Mrs. Martin. I'm good thanks and you?”

“Same.” She answered, still smiling. “Lydia's in her room.”

“Oh great, thanks!” He said, nodding before going upstairs, the woman going back to whatever she had been doing before he arrived.

 

*

 

A few knocks on Lydia's bedroom door later, and the girl was letting him in with a curt,

 

“Come in, Stilinski!”

 

It's her way of saying things without hesitating that Stiles had always loved about that girl. That he would always love, no matter what. No matter who filled his heart now. Lydia would always stay his first love, nothing would ever change that certitude.

 

“Hey Lyds.” He greeted her, once he passed the door. She was sitting on her bed, naked feet in front of her and a few bottles of nail polish on her bedside table waiting.

“Right on time. I need your lights to choose what color for my manicure. Take off your shoes and come here.”

 

Stiles didn't even try saying no, he knew he wouldn't have his way anyway, so he complied. Taking off his sneakers and socks and joining her on the bed. Next thing he knew he was painting her toe nails a soft lilac pastel color, while she was painting his bright pink.

 

To most, it would have seemed strange. For Stiles, these moments were priceless. They showed him how close he and Lydia had became. How much he needed to treasure this friendship. And so what if that meant he had to have his toes covered in bright pink nail polish, he really didn't care.

 

 

*

 

“Do you still have a lot of nightmares?” Lydia asked him over her cup of tea. Stiles wasn't really fond of the beverage but drank it anyway cause it reminded him of his mom.

“I-yeah.” He answered. There's no reason to deny things with Lydia and he's relieved he could actually tell her these things. She really did listen to him and tried to help him the best she could.

“Did you tell Derek about them?" She asked, softly.

“Yes. I did. I do but, I don't want to burden him every time I have one. It's already enough I can't stay one night alone or god knows what will happen.”

“Stiles...” She started to say.

“Seriously, Lyds. Sometimes I really wonder why he's putting up with all my... _shits_!” Stiles exclaimed, gesturing towards his head, trying to show her what he meant by that. “Derek is supposed to be my...boyfriend. And I feel like he's more like my fucking baby sitter than my lover. How wrong is that? Am I so fucked up, our relationship has settled into that and only that?! To me needing a fucking night keeper? How long will he support me before he's finally so fed up he decides just to take off and leave me... Again?”

 

Lydia listened carefully, understanding how insecure Stiles had become with all he had to face since the Nemeton, noting the incertitude in his voice and the hidden fear of losing Derek, now that they have what Stiles had been craving for, for so long.

 

“Stiles, listen. You don't have to worry about Derek leaving again. It's not gonna happen. Don't you see he does all he does for you out of love? He came back to a town that only brought him pain and despair because he was missing you!”

“You don't know that. _**I**_ , don't even know that!” Stiles remarked.

“It doesn't take a genius to put one and one together. Do you really think Derek came back because he was suddenly missing Beacon Hills! Come on, you're smarter than that, don't play dumb with me here!” She exclaimed, using that very special tone that clearly stated she thought he was being stupid.

“Derek came back for you, because of the bond you both share. A bond that has been there since day one. The fact that he said yes without thinking twice when you asked to be his model, that he took you with him to New York, and dedicated a whole part of his exhibit to  ** _you_** , the fact that he's always there to keep you safe after one of your nightmares, that he's even willing to work with fire... For **_YOU_** **!** Don't you get that all of those actions were made out of love? Of the love he has for you.” She pointed, making sure he heard every single word she spoke.

“Stop over-thinking things and fearing the worst will happen to your relationship, cause from where I'm standing I can clearly see and say that Derek Hale is as far away from dumping your sorry ass. Even if I think he really had courage and should rub off on you a bit more to improve your poor fashion sense!”

“Hey! I resent that.” Stiles exclaimed, looking hurt that she had such a poor appreciation of his unique way of dressing.

“Seriously, though. You have nothing to be afraid of, Stiles. What you guys have, even though it seems fragile to you, it's solid. It's that kind of bond rooted in stone, that even natural disasters can't shake.”

 

Stiles stayed silent a moment, registering all she’d just said. He can see how Lydia is right. He really can. It's just that he can't shake that cold fear deep inside his heart that something bad would happen, one day or another.

 

“I guess you're right...” He whispered, taking a sip of the hot chamomile tea, she had him drinking. He thinks it tastes weird but it's strangely soothing his nerves, so he drinks it anyway.

“Of course I am!” She answered, looking smug. “Now, what do you say you accompany me shopping this weekend. Allison can't come because she’s doing something with her father and Aiden only bitches when we go shopping. So that leaves you to come with me, and I won't take no for an answer.”

 

Stiles sighed, put like that, it's not like he really had a choice, right?

 

“I guess I only have to nod my head and go with it then. Not all day though, I kinda want to spent the afternoon with a certain Sourwolf...”

“That's fine with me. Come pick me up at ten sharp, you'll be free around two pm.”

 

 _**Five** _ _hours of shopping!!!_

 

Stiles was really glad he was spending the afternoon and night at Derek's after that, cause it's clear he'll need some strong hands to massage his aching body after so much, _too much_ , shopping. Shopping that consisted of him holding Lydia's bags and nodding _'yes'_ or   _'no'_ to her trying outfit after outfit. Strange how once this had been his dream life, back when he was pinning like crazy over the Beacon Hills Queen B.

 

*

 

> **“ _Stiles... Wake up! I know you can hear us. Stiles! Stiles! Stiles!!!”_ **

 

He woke up to the pain of his fist going through the mirror. There's blood, warm and strongly smelling like iron, running down his wrist and forearm. His body shakes like mad. _What happened? How come he walked from his bed to the bathroom? What were those voices?_ _**Always** _ those same strange voices...

 

He needs to go to the hospital, needs to get help. But he knows he can’t drive like this. Unable to think straight, even. And his dad isn't there tonight. He... He needs to go find _him_ ;

 _Only_ Derek can help. Yes, that's it he needs Derek. _Only Derek!_

In a blur then, he walks out of the bathroom. Barely notices grabbing his phone and keys. The next thing he knows, he fist is banging on Derek's door.

“Stiles?” The werewolf said, in front of his really lost boyfriend. Stiles met his eyes, clenching his left arm to his chest. That's when Derek registered the smell of blood.

“I need help, Der! I think we need to go to the hospital.” Stiles whispered, looking fragile and so, so very young at that moment, that all the protective instincts in Derek awaked in a roar.

 

The next thing Stiles registered was being in his car, driving to the hospital. Stiles’ arm was wrapped in a clean towel, and not spilling blood on his t-shirt anymore.

 

*

 

Derek is waiting outside the room where Melissa McCall is doing stitches on Stiles' arm. Not being a family member, Derek wasn't allowed in the room with Stiles, so he’s been waiting for what seems like hours, now, in the hallway.

He tries to keep a clear head, to stay cool and composed. But his inner wolf is going nuts not knowing what they're doing to his mate. And it’s really the last straw for Derek. He needs to find a way to help Stiles, something better than what he has been doing lately. He needs to get answers to the question clouding his mind. The questions that he has been thinking about for weeks now. He needs to go find the only people that he knows could, maybe, help him. Even if it means facing his enemies. For Stiles, for his mate, he'd face Kate Argent, he'd face the Devil himself if it could be useful and help his lover. So, really, it's not a surprise that he’s already made up his mind.

And when the door to the room opens, and Melissa is there to call him in, Derek knows that tomorrow he'll go see Peter for answer. And he'll even start searching for Deucalion. Cause one thing is certain, there's no way he’ll let _**The Darkness** _ take over his mate and swallow him into the abyss!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **As always you can find me here :[My Tumblr](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)**


	19. Dormant!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE!!!!** Told you it was coming soon... Here it is.  
>  Chapter 18, wolvies, my own little way to say Im sorry about all the waiting and delays. 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy.  
> Have fun reading.
> 
> And like always don't forget to comment or leave kudos to let me know if you liked it.
> 
> xoxo  
> Sin.

Finding Peter was... _quite_ easy. Well, it was if you knew him as much as Derek knew the werewolf. Trying to track Deucalion though, turned out to be quite the difficult task. But Derek didn't stop until he finally found the once blind man.

It took almost two weeks for Derek to find both of the men he was searching for, and found himself packing his duffel bag to go find Deucalion first.

 

He didn't tell anyone the real reasons for his rushed journey, he just told Stiles he needed to leave for a project idea Cynthia wanted him to go explore. It passed quite easily. 

Thing is Derek preferred not to tell anyone about his plan before he was sure he wasn't chasing dust and that his plan would work. Giving Stiles false hopes was the last thing he wanted to do right now, may it turns out to be a dead end.

 

*

 

It was late at night on a Friday when he took the road for Blackwood, a small town further north of Beacon Hills but not very far away. A few hours of driving would be enough for him to arrive there, come sunlight.

Part of Derek was dreading this confrontation, after all that had happened in the past between him and Deucalion, he still had some hard feelings, but he was doing this for Stiles and that thought was enough to calm him down enough to keep his foot on the gas pedal and drive the miles it took him to arrive in Blackwood.

 

Blackwood wore her name very well, Derek thought. The road leading into the town was boarded by woods, endless and thick, dark as night woods. The look of them sent chills down Derek's spine. It was true that as a werewolf, forests were like an everyday playground but the woods surrounding Blackwood really weren't welcoming. The sight of them didn't make him want to run and wander around in them.

 

Parking in the town was easy; Derek pulled the Camaro into a spot in front of what seemed to be the town’s  _only_ Diner. He was starving after such a long drive and the time called for a warm, copious breakfast.

Driving by night had always been something Derek liked, but he would have preferred it being for another reason and with the company of Stiles. There were so many things he wanted to do with him, so many places he wanted to show him, so many experiences he wanted, _(_ _quite_ _desperately)_ , to share with his mate. But in his current state of health - _he didn't really_ _know what else_ _to call it_ \- Stiles wasn't strong enough to go and see the world, to drive for endless hours, not with the fear of not knowing if he'd snap one moment or another while on the road.

 

Like always, thinking of Stiles awoke the raging need to hear his voice, even over the receiver of his phone. His wolf, _as the days went on and their relationship grew stronger_ , wanted more and more to be constantly in touch with the young man, both physically and mentally. It was something Derek could no longer suppress, something he had learned to let happen instead of trying to fight it. He’d been fighting it for too long already.

 

He was sitting in the last booth of the diner, facing the front door, and checking the menu when a bubbly and smiling waitress came to take his order;

 

“Hey there sweetheart, what can I get you, today?” She asked, pen and notepad in hand, ready to scribble down Derek's order. She seemed very nice, and joy was radiating from her every pore. Derek thought she, without a doubt, must be the ray of sunshine Blackwood was sadly lacking with its almost constant rainy weather.

“Huh, I'm actually starving, I don't really know, what do you suggest?” Derek asked her, still glancing at the _carte_.

“Well, someone as built as you are, and looking like they've been on the road all night long, surely needs our Special. That'll fill you up just fine, sweetheart.”

Okay, Derek could tolerate the nickname, it seemed to be part of the package of who that waitress... huh _**'Ada '**_ , said her tag, was.

“Okay, I'll go with a Special then.”

“Perfect. What toppings on your pancakes, sweetheart?”

“Caramel, please, miss.” 

“Yeah, they call me Ada around here, it's _way_ better than miss! Now, something else you want with your breakfast?”

“Do you have pineapple or multi-fruits juice?”

“We have both.”

“One multi then.” 

“Okay, it'll come ASAP. Make yourself at home.”

“Thank you.”And with that she was gone as quickly and silently as she’d come to take his order.

 

His phone vibrating in his pocket tore him out of his contemplation of the little place, kinda square, facing the Diner. A look at the screen brought a small, tender, smile to his lips. Even though it was still early Stiles was already texting him.

 

 

> _*** So by now you should be in Blackwoods. (Yes I set an alarm on my phone - I checked google for how long it'll take you to get there!!!). ***_
> 
> _*** I miss you already, come back quickly and dude... I forbid you to smile or be kind to any good looking strangers, you hear me. I'm keeping my man!!! *** _

 

> _*****_ _**Seriously...? Go back to sleep. You seem like you're lacking it. *** _

 

> _*****_ _**Why do you even argue. You know I'll have my way, anyway... *** _

 

> _*****_ _**Stiles...***  _
> 
>  

> _*****_ _ **What? Oh...OKAY! (big sigh) No need to glare at your phone, Sourwolf. You should be happy I'm so** _ _**careful about**  _ _ **making sure no one will touch what's mine! *** _

 

At that Derek could only smile. Stiles had his own unique way to say things, it was always so lightly done but he still managed to tell Derek every time how he really felt. Derek guessed it was something that had always attracted him to Stiles.

 

 

> _***It won't happen, promise. Now, try getting some more sleep, you need it. *** _

 

> _*****_ _ **I'm trying, trust me. It just doesn't feel right sleeping alone,** _ _**especially** _ _**when you're so far away. Don't know what mojo you did on me, Sourwolf, but it's bad. I want that warm and muscular chest of yours all the time. Do you know it's the best pillow EVER!?! *** _

 

> _*****_ _**Glad to know you only need me around for the comfort my body gives you. *** _

 

> _*****_ _**Of course, what else would I need you for... *** _

 

> _*****_ _ **Oh... You did NOT** _ _**just** _ _**say that! *** _

 

> _*****_ _**Babe, do you need glasses, cause I'm pretty sure I did! *** _

 

> _*****_ _**Goodbye, Stiles! *** _

 

 

And with that Derek laid his phone on the table next to him, not answering the messages coming in from Stiles. A devilish smile broke across his face when he saw the young man was actually calling him. _That was so damn easy!_

 

“Hello?” He said absently into the receiver, as if he hadn't just been talking to Stiles by text the instant before.

“Dude, what the heck, why didn't you answer my texts, you know I was joking, right?!”

 

Just for fun, Derek took his time to answer, letting the silence stretch long enough that he heard Stiles move around restlessly in his bed.

 

“Der..?” Stiles asked.

“I'm here.” He answered.

“You know I was joking, right?” Stiles repeated, sounding really serious.

“In your own weird special way, yeah I know.” Derek said, hearing the release of breath just as clear as if he was lying beside Stiles, even though the young man tried to exhale as silently as possible.

“What the hell, D?!” Stiles exclaimed. “Do you enjoy giving me minor heart attacks or what? You scared the shit out of me for a second there.” The boy added, dramatically. 

“I know!” Derek joked, not feeling ashamed at all.

“You.... Ooh! I hate you Derek Hale. You don't toy with a guy's emotions like that, it's totally unattractive.” Stiles said with enough force to make his point clear.

“Are you done?” Derek asked.

“No, I'm only startin'.” Even if it was silent, Derek still heard the _'dumbass'_ in Stiles' tone.

“God, help me.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble, Babe, but that dude doesn't exist.” Stiles pointed out, deadpan. “So... When will you be back?”

“By Sunday night, probably.”

“ _WHAT?!_ That _long_. How am I supposed to go through this entire weekend without having my dose of D? I so hate Cyn for making you go miles away and keeping you god knows where for that long. She should know I'm a teenage boy with extra needs.”

“Trust me, she knows. But it won't be that long. I'll be back before you even know it.”

“Yay... I hope so. It feels weird being so far away from you.” Stiles admitted with clear honesty.

 

Derek almost choked on his breath. It was the first time he really felt the longing present in Stiles’ voice. It made this trip even more important now.

 

“I know what you mean...” He whispered in the receiver, the intake of breath coming from Stiles' end sending chills over his skin.

“Derek...” The boy whispered back and Derek shivered even more. It was crazy how he wanted to take him in his arms, hold him tightly and never let go.

“You should go back to sleep. I'll call you tonight, okay?” 

“Yeah, okay. Be careful driving, okay? And do not take Cynthia's shit! Show her you're the man.”

“I will, promise.”

“Okay. Good. Talk to you later then.”

“Yeah.”

“Bye, love you.”

“I love you too. Bye.”

 

And with that the conversation ended, just as Ada came back and put his order on the table in front of him. His stomach growled hungrily to the smell of warm food and coffee.

 

*

 

He found Deucalion by the end of the morning. The man was living in one of those classy cabins at the entrance of the Preserve. Derek took it upon himself to go wandering through the woods; They felt just as intimidating and unwelcoming as before. Derek thought it was a perfect place for the _**Demon Wolf** _ to live in.

 

Taking a deep breath, Derek climbed the three small steps leading to the front door of the cabin. He knew Deucalion had heard him coming a mile away, but he still knocked on the door and waited for the man to come open it and grant him access to his home.

 

“Well, if this isn't quite a surprise. Come in Derek, I have a feeling you're not here out of courtesy.” Deucalion said once he opened the door.

 

Derek entered, and followed the werewolf. The inside of the cabin was nicely decorated, like one you’d see in interior design magazines. A style between warm and rustic.

 

“So, tell me. What brings you to Blackwood?” Deucalion asked him.

 

He showed him to a seat at the kitchen table, and Derek took it, secretly glad to be able to sit, so he wouldn’t start to pace.

 

“So?” 

“The reason I'm here, is out of private matter. I was kind of hoping you could help me.” 

“Help you with?” The man asked, not surprised or even against the idea of helping the young Hale.

“Did you know that Scott, Stiles and Allison sacrificed themselves to find out where Jennifer had their parents held captive?”

“Yes, I'm aware of what they did that night. Why?”

“Well, since then the three of them have been living with a _Darkness_ around their hearts. Scott and Allison managed to anchor themselves and fight against it, but that hasn’t been the case with Stiles.”

“Oh yes, the Stilinski kid. Though, your _mate_ , might be a better appellation when it comes to him, am I right?!”

“What? How did you...?” Derek choked. How the hell did Deucalion know about that? Stiles himself was still unaware of that.

“Oh please, you didn't really think someone like me wouldn’t notice, did you Derek?” Deucalion answered, serving them both a mug of coffee. He lifted his gaze to look at Derek, once seated, his fingers curling around the hot porcelain of his coffee mug and said;

“Oh... You did! Well, it's not something you can hide that easily from a werewolf of mine or your uncle's age. Once the wolf itself has acknowledged who it's mate is, it's almost impossible to hide it from any trained werewolf around them!”

 

Derek kept silent, even though all he wanted to say was _**"Well...Fuck"** _. And strangely that sounded more like Stiles' voice saying the words in his head than him.

 

“You and that Jennifer Blake never tricked me. I knew she wasn’t meaningful to you. Not in the way Stiles is. You don't even _notice_ how much your body gives away when the boy is mentioned or around, Derek.”

“Do you know a way to help him or not?” Derek suddenly blurted. He was there to get answers not to hear himself being called stupid. He didn't need people to point out what he already knew and told himself each passing day.

“I never heard of such a thing being possible before,” Deucalion said pointedly, sipping at his coffee carefully.

“But I do believe anything is possible. Especially if your actions are done for a good reason. He is your mate, the question here isn't so much ‘ _is it possible?_ ’  but ' _what are_ _you_ _willing to do to save him?_ ’ How far would you bring yourself to save him?”

 

Derek thought the mans words over for a long moment. How far would he go for Stiles? What would he be willing to give up for the young man’s safety? Was his will strong enough to help the person he cared for and loved the most in his life?

 

All those questions had seemed so easy to answer until now, but now he was thinking them over with more attention, and they suddenly looked to be so much bigger in importance. But even if they were, the answers were still the same to him. They would never change.

 

“For him... I'd give my life.” He said simply to Deucalion. And he had never been more honest in his life. Which was something Deucalion seemed to understand if the small smile he gave was any indication.

“It figures _you_ would say something like that. You resemble your mother in more ways than just looks, you know.” He took a sip of his coffee then put the mug down on the table in front of him. “Okay, now that we've establish that, we can really start to talk.”

 

Even if Deucalion had stated not knowing anything on the subject, Derek knew by his determined look that the man still had something in mind, whatever that may be.

 

“Like I said I've never heard of such a thing as healing a _darkness_ wound before. I think we can call it that, seeing as how it causes some kind of physical pain to the person touched by it. I don’t know anyone who's been resurrected so I’m not sure what exactly we're dealing with. But... What I am well informed of is the capacity and spectacular possibilities being a werewolf gives you. I think we should search that way.”

 

Derek felt himself relax gradually, as Deucalion spoke. He took his first sip of coffee since he arrived and took off his leather jacket, feeling this might be a very long day. He still kept a vigilant state of mind, though, he didn't forget he was still in presence of the _Demon Wolf_ after all.

 

“Okay, that _**Darkness**_ , can you tell me what it does to your mate exactly?” Deucalion asked, keeping note of how Derek had loosened enough to take off his jacket and drink some of his coffee.

“Can you please call him Stiles and not my mate!” Derek said, feeling weird hearing someone else call Stiles ‘ _mate’_. _**Mate** _ was such a strong word, and not that he hadn’t accepted all of its implications, but he felt like only he could refer to Stiles as such, at least until he figured out a way to tell him.

“I'm sorry. Please, tell me what Stiles’ symptoms are.” Deucalion said.

“Nightmares, hallucinations, frights, trouble sleeping, loss of appetite. And I'm sure the six months I was away from Beacon Hills, he went through worse. One thing is recurrent though, when he's having dreams or nightmares it's like the area around his heart itches so bad he can't stop himself from scratching the skin until it breaks. The itching part is the expression he used to describe it.”

 

Deucalion was thoughtful for awhile, then he motioned for Derek to keep talking.

 

“Stiles was... He was fine the first two months after I got back to Beacon Hills, but lately he’s started feeling the Darkness again.” Derek said. He let out a long breath, he wasn't there to beg Deucalion, but aside from Peter, he was the only one Derek knew who was informed about the wonders a werewolf could do. He didn’t think Deaton knew half the things the other two did.

“I'm not here to beg you, okay. I'm here for Stiles, and only for him!” Derek stated, making himself clear.

“You actually love that kid, don't you!” Deucalion exclaimed, his face showing all the surprise this revelation caused him. “You don't want to save him only because of your instincts as a mate but you actually love him with pure _**human**  _love!”

 

Derek kept silent but held the man's gaze. Yes, he loved Stiles in all ways possible and he was proud of that, proud he wasn't only attracted to the young man because his wolf recognized a mate in him.

 

“You never cease to surprise me, Derek.” Deucalion said, sounding honest. "I really did let Kali’s misjudgment cloud my vision when it comes to you and your abilities.”

“What do you mean, my abilities?”

“I only wanted you to join my pack because you are Talia's son and having you as an alpha in my pack would have been a really good political choice when it comes to discussions with other packs. Kali found you weak for only surrounding yourself with teenagers, weak for not being able to kill your own. I found you were on the right road to becoming a very good alpha. It's too bad you sacrificed your status.”

“My sister was dying, I had no other choice.”

“What you are willing to give up to save your own, it's the difference between you and me. Talia was like this too, always thinking of what was the best interest for her pack before thinking what was best for herself as an alpha.” 

“I'm confused... What does all that have to do with Stiles?” Derek questioned, a bit lost.

“The fact that you’re still putting yourself in the protector role says it all. And it's actually very surprising, if I'm being honest here.”

“ _What_ is so surprising?”

“It's dormant now, but... You didn't completely lose it.”

 “Lose what?” Derek asked again, more and more confused. Why did Deucalion always have to be so fucking enigmatic while talking.

“You’re still an alpha. Surprisingly, the spark is still in you, even though you gave up most of your power to save your sister. Surprisingly, it didn't completely vanish. You are still the Hale alpha!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can always come find me here, if you ever wanna talk about the fic or get more infos about me, etc...  
> [My Tumblr](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)
> 
> See ya next chapter, wolvies.  
> Love ya all.


	20. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there guys, here's chapter 19.
> 
> I'm SO SO SO sorry everyone, i've been so out and busy lately that i had totally forgot my lovely beta had sent me the chapter ready to be posted. So, huh, with a very shameful delay here it is. 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it. And I hope I'll be able to post soon.  
> Until then, take care and;
> 
> xoxo  
> Sin.

What Derek hadn’t expected by coming to Deucalion for help, was the physical training the man would put him through. Though, the physical exertion was a welcome escape for the overwhelming turmoil his thoughts were in since Deucalion had told him that he had never lost the _Spark_ of being the Hale alpha.

It was insane, he had come to accept that he would never be the Alpha again, he had given up that status the moment he’d known it could save Cora.

But now, to think that power was still partly inside him but too buried away for it to be a conscious feeling, Derek didn't really know if he could face such an important revelation. It was... _Yeah, it was a lot to take in._

The thing was, Derek wasn't scared of being the Alpha, he’d just been so inexperienced the first time, he’d been bad at it, making mistakes and not trusting the people he should have, that getting back in touch with that part of himself now was the scariest thing. More than anything he wanted, needed, to do everything in his power to help Stiles, he just really wished this time would be different, that he would handle things differently. That he would be a better alpha, that he would finally be able to become the alpha he was meant to be... _Apparently!_

 

But for Stiles... For Stiles he would be. For his mate he would become what his mom had always been for their pack. He would be the best mate, the best alpha, the best protector, everything he hadn't been... enough... When he was the alpha of a teenagers pack. 

This time he would make it right. This time he would grow to be what the Hale alpha had always been, an inspiration for centuries to the eyes of others and for his own pack!

 

*

 

“Come on Derek, focus!”

“I'm trying.” He snapped at Deucalion, frustrated with how many times he’d started the same exercise over.

“I still don't get the point of this exercise. What does it have to do with helping Stiles?” He asked, bending into position again to block the werewolf form of Deucalion.

“The point of this exercise, Derek, is for you to push the limits of the human side of you.” The man answered before attacking.

 

Derek tried to block the blow the best he could, but Deucalion was still just as strong as he was before the Darach cured his eyesight, and now that he had his vision back, the man was even more unpredictable. He was fast, strong and precise in his attacks. And trying to resist that force of nature while in his human form was a training technique Derek never thought he would be put through.

 

His inner wolf wanted to take control, go against each blow or hit. Every time he felt his skin being slashed by Deucalion's claws, the beta in him roared and Derek struggled harder than ever before not to snap and let the wolf take control.

 

“Don't let the beta take control, Derek. Fight back with all you have and feel... Feel the spark. Visualize. Visualize it dormant inside of you and reach out for it, that's the part of yourself you have to revive. Let it grow, let it speak, roar, let it teach you, Derek. Only then, will you be able to control it.”

 

Now that he wasn't hungry for power anymore, that he had made peace with the part of himself that had sought revenge and strength for so long, Derek really had a hard time accepting that he still had that part of him inside. And even though it was different this time and he wasn't looking for power anymore, it clearly was a struggle to visualize the spark and let it be what it was without the memory of how powerful it could be, had been, difficult not tolet it cloud his vision and judgement.

 

But his perseverance was more than enough to push that ghost away and start over again and again until finally he was able to see it completely without any false representation of what it once had been. A vision that, back then, had been falsely stained by Peter’s sickening image of what an alpha should be!

 

“Come on son, I know what you're made of, don't forget I knew what kind of alpha your mother was. You're made out of the same rock, Derek. Now show me what you have inside. FIGHT BACK!” Deucalion's voice was loud, direct, commanding. It sent chills all over Derek's skin.

“It's time for you to be your own man Derek, time to let the frightened boy you once were rest and let the man be the one in control! Come on, block my attacks, I know you can do it, you're more than strong enough. We both know you are, or else you wouldn't have survived all that's happened in your life. Now... _Fight_... Back!”

 

Each blow, every attack was like thunder exploding around them. And Derek started to feel angry, his human body feeling weak compared to the mountain of strength that was Deucalion's wolf form. But still, Derek wasn't one to just give up and he met every new attack with all the strength he could gather.

 

He tried to visualize the spark, to feel the alpha, now that his beta was crawling away pitifully, to scared to face the Demon wolf attacking Derek. And that was it, Derek knew he was getting there, knew he was getting in touch with his alpha side.

 

“Can you finally see it? That burning spark, it's right in front of you... Seize it!” Deucalion encouraged.

 

Derek could see the spark clearly now, see its amber-ish flame, a bit like Stiles' eyes, he thought and that was the trigger he needed. Thinking of his mate allowed him to reach for the spark, grab it and consume it.

The feeling was better than the first time he had felt that kind of power. His body tingling with the electricity that was the alpha strength.

Derek shook himself to not let the power be overpowering like the last time. No, this time he knew better, the past was the best teacher and instead of using the spark for revenge, for the hunger of being powerful like he’d once felt, this time he controlled the spark, taming it to be an extension of his self, to be a part of him, to be him.

This time he knew exactly how to use the power for good, the good of his mate, the good of their mismatched pack. And that's how he felt it.

It first roared loudly inside of him, making his body shake with the force in that cry. Stiles' face was before him, his scent was in his nose, the way his skin felt was burning peacefully under Derek's fingertips, the way he tasted was all over his mouth, he was invading all of his senses.

His eyesight suddenly turned bright red and Derek blocked Deucalion's next attack with a loud growl, pushing the man a few steps backward.

 

Deucalion stood immobile, looking at Derek with pride. The young man panted, his body now transformed into his alpha form. Eyes red, pointy ears, his cheeks covered in thick black hair. He was standing tall, powerful, magnificent. A hundred times more than what he once had been the first he turned into an alpha.

 

“That's it, boy!” Deucalion exclaimed, smiling slightly, his smile more shark like than human. Without warning he attacked again but this time Derek was able to block him forcefully, not taken by surprised by the man anymore. He gave it all his strength.

 

Now that Derek had reached out and rebounded with his alpha, _he_ was unpredictable to Deucalion, who seemed very impressed. As if the _alpha_ he’d known almost a year ago and the one that was now standing in front of him were two different people. And it kind of was the case. Derek had evolved a lot during the last months, he’d grown into his own person and had gained an amount of self esteem that was now incredible compared to how it was before.

 

Deucalion had no trouble guessing that Derek being involved in a romantic relationship with the Stilinski kid, his mate,played a big part in Derek's change of behavior.

 

The training lasted all day and Derek was exhausted by the end of it, but he was satisfied because he had been able to block Deucalion by the end, managing to make the man stumbled on his feet a few times and even making him eat dirt once.

 

Derek was impressed to see that his focus could be so great, how his will of helping Stiles was so strong it had helped him concentrate on the task before him and allowed him push the Demon Wolf hard enough for him to fall down.

 

“You did good, Derek.” Deucalion told him, offering Derek his hand. The man look proud, and Derek felt weird because of it. Never would he ever have thought of seeing such an expression, directed towards him, on Deucalion's face.

“Now, how about we go back in and eat something. I'm famished!” The man added. Derek agreed, feeling hungrier than he had felt in years.

 

*

 

Early the next morning, Derek woke up feeling pain in every muscle of his body. It was a very good feeling, if he was being honest, because it was proof of how good he had worked out the day prior, the burn a reminder of what he’d accomplished.

Last night, Deucalion had talked about Talia, and Derek had listened intensely, eager to learn more about a side of his mother he’d been quite unaware of. 

Deucalion hadn't been lying, he’d known his mother very well, and Derek was more and more surprised to learn so much about her. It allowed him to feel connected to her in a new way, allowed him to let her rest in peace but with his head and heart full of new memories. And he was grateful that the man had offered him that. 

And it was as he climbed into his car the next morning and drove off, taking the road back to Beacon Hills, that Derek thought he could have liked Deucalion had they met in different circumstances. The man could have taught him a lot if he hasn't been so blinded by power. He knew that if his mom were still alive, if things had gone differently, Deucalion would have been a part of their lives. But like everything else, these were just thoughts, reality was sadly not that peaceful and condensed.

Sighing, Derek refocused his mind. He still needed to go meet Peter, not that he was happy about that, but he had no other choice. Peter could answer his questions about mating, and to be honest Derek wouldn't have felt comfortable asking someone else about such an intimate subject.

 

Before leaving Blackwood, he stopped at the diner, and was greeted by Ada again. The woman made easy conversation as he waited for his breakfast to cook and be packed in a to-go container. Then he said goodbye and left town, promising Ada he would come back one day.

 

*

 

Before Derek could even ring the bell, Peter was standing in the doorway and greeted him;

 

“Well, hello, nephew.”

“Peter.” Derek greeted back, unable to hide his lack of joy.

“Oh, why so bitter, Derek? It's been a long time since we saw each other. Now, don't just stand there, please come in.” Peter said, letting Derek enter the apartment.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of having you visit me?” Peter asked once he'd closed the door behind them.

 

Derek shook off his jacket, laying it on the back of one of the chairs in the living room and took a seat, not waiting for Peter's permission. He hid a smirk thinking of how if he’d done something like that at Stiles', the boy would have come up with a snarky remark.

 

“I need you to answer some questions.” Derek said, as soon as Peter seated himself on the sofa facing him.

“Questions about..?”

“Mating.”

 

Peter's face instantly grew dark, all trace of his condescending smirk now totally gone at the word ‘ _ **mating** _**’**. Derek felt a small pang of guilt for bringing the subject up, but to be honest, he really only trusted Peter with such a delicate topic, as crazy as it seemed, and there was no one else he would have confessed to about his mate.

 

“Why the question, Derek?” Peter asked. Closed but curious.

“I think you know why...” Derek simply answered.

Peter " _mmm_ "ed loudly, then sighed.

“Yes. How is young Stiles, by the way?”

“He's had better days, but you already know that, don't you? Can you...please...spare me the melodrama and tell me what you know about mating?!” Derek pleaded. He needed any and all information he could gather, Stiles was way too important to him, he had to try, no matter what uncomfortable questions he'd have to ask his uncle.

 

Peter kept silent a long moment. Derek knew memories of his wife and baby were clouding the mans mind, and he felt sorry for asking. Slowly doubts started filling him; What if remembering the past, talking about his lost family, his mate, was too much for Peter? Derek suddenly felt like he had made a big mistake by bringing the subject up, but at the same time, who could he turn to for such delicate conversation besides his own uncle. Even though Peter had gone crazy after the fire and his hunger for power and revenge, Derek still remembered how once Peter had been the person he had looked up to. Before Paige, before Kate and the fire. Before Laura. And a small part of him was still clinging to the hope that he could still count on his last family member when it came to things like getting answers about his mate.

 

“What is it you want to know exactly?” Peter suddenly asked him, breaking the silence and making Derek start a bit. 

“Everything.” Derek said, not seeing how best he could phrase it. “Everything you can tell me would help I think.”

“Alright.” Peter sighed, his face still dark. Derek silently thanked him for answering him even though it cost the man to do so. “First of all, are you really sure he's the one?”

Derek wanted to reply immediately, without giving it some thought, but Peter's question had a double meaning, he was certain, and he knew his uncle well enough now to see that.

“I think he is. My... When I'm with him, when I think of him... I’ve never felt like this for anyone before. I...I have to be constantly within his reach. And the thought of ever losing him drives me mad. All I know, all I'm sure of his how my wolf feels when I'm with him. It's nothing I've ever experienced in the past... Not even with Paige.” Derek truthfully admitted.

“Well, I guess it's not really surprising. Our young Stiles _would_ end up being your mate if he wasn't turned into a werewolf. That boy has always been attracted to our kind, after all. And like I said, I'm not surprised he was meant for _you_.” Peter confessed, his look totally bare for once, and Derek found it unexpected and strange. The last time his uncle had let anyone see him without his mask of condescending indifference on, every member of their family was still alive and happily living in what the Hale house had once been; A small manor filled with laughter and love. 

“Now that we established you've really found your mate, what is it you really want to know about mating? I'm not stupid, I know your request has a deeper aspect.” Peter said, intelligence gleaming in his blue eyes.

“What I want to know is how deep the bound between mates is when...when, like in this case, one of the two is human and he still hasn't been claimed?”

“Well, the bond between a werewolf and a human can be just as strong, sometimes even stronger than a bond between two werewolves. You have no idea how incredible and undeniable the power of human love can be, Derek. How grand it can become when you claim your mate...” Peter said, his gaze lost in the distance, lost in the past.

 

Derek stayed silent a while, not daring to ask his next question. But then he thought, it was now or never to get all his answers. He should take advantage of Peter being so open for once. He needed this information, so he’d do things right this time, and not screw up.

 

“Was it like that with her? Did you... Did you feel like I do with Stiles?”

“Amélia came to me like a hurricane. Violent and fierce. I knew instantly. After one look into her eyes, I knew. She loved to argue with me the first few months, but no matter how much we argued we still couldn't stay apart for too long. Something would always force us back together. And if we didn't see each other, one of us would finally give in and find a way to make it so that we would meet again.” Peter explained, a soft smile slowly drawing the outline of his pinched mouth into something so much more tender. Derek didn't remember ever seeing such smile on the man's lips before, besides maybe when he was with Amélia. 

“She was so human, my Amélia, so beautifully and entirely human. Every day I feared of her discovering what I really was. The fright of losing her being so immensely suffocating, but no matter how scared I was I just couldn't keep my distances. My wolf knew she was our mate. And that was enough to never let her go. So one day, I decided to tell her everything: _Who I was, what I was and how far gone I was for her...”_

“How did she react?”

“With surprising calm for the first few seconds, then she burst out laughing. She confessed to having thought up many strange scenarios before deciding we must be vampires. She didn't seem to be scared of me being a werewolf, she was just glad she wasn't crazy and that what she had noticed was actually true. And just like that she sealed our future together. The first kiss she gave me was right after that confession. I will never forget how perfectly... _right_ , it felt. The love I had for her grew with each passing day, just as hers did. I still remember clearly how the urge, the need to mate felt. How with every moment of intimacy, at every new touch, kiss, the wolf part of myself would keep clawing at my insides, unsatisfied and needy.”

 

Peter fell silent an instant, reliving his memories.

 

“It was Amélia who made the first move. She surprised me one evening when we were at her apartment. She explained how her feelings had became so great they were almost unbearable now. Said she couldn't wait for me to make a decision anymore, that she wanted us to mate. That she wanted for us to belong to each other forever. All the time her heart beat rapidly, faster than it had ever beat in my presence before. I remembered being so scared it would explode at some point... But then, _it_ happened!”

“What?” Derek whispered, completely taken by Peter's story.

“She kissed me, sealing our ‘ _union_ ’... Claiming her, mating after such a long wait, never has anything else ever felt that good, felt that powerful. As if suddenly all the cells of our bodies were merging together, tying us even in our blood.”

 

Peter suddenly went back to being the dark, cold as stone character he usually was since coming out of his sleep paralysis.

 

“When she died, Amélia was six months pregnant. A little girl. We had already chosen her name. Kindra, Kindra Hale; Our beloved little warrior.”

 

Derek hadn’t known Aunt Amélia had been so far along in her pregnancy when the fire happened, hadn’t known they’d chosen to call the baby Kindra. He felt like there were a lot of things he had missed after Paige. He could see now how his grief and meeting Kate had made him so blind to several important things that had been happening to his family.

 

The familiar pang that was made of loss and guilt, once again struck and tore him apart. He would never go in peace knowing what they had lost in the fire, he'd die bearing the weight of his guilt to the grave.

 

“Do not stupidly waste your time over thinking it, Derek. If you're absolutely certain that what your guts are telling you is right, then please, act on your feelings and stop wasting yours and Stiles' time together. Life is way too short to let it be tainted with fear. Tell him. Tell him everything and then give him your all. _Claim him_!”

“I-I... Do you think it'll help him? If I claim him, will it make him stronger? Do you think the bond mates share can be strong enough to overcome anything, can it help them heal each other...Mentally?”

“I never heard of such a thing, but I'm willing to believe anything. If you try hard enough then I think everything is possible.”

“Thank you, Uncle Peter.”

“Uncle Peter... It’s been a long time since you called me that.”

“I...”

“I get it Derek, I get it.” Peter said absently, brushing off Derek attempted apologies with a sweep of his hand.

 

Derek asked himself again, what would have happened if the fire never started, if he hadn't met Kate. Would he still have his old Uncle Peter with him or would Peter still have hungered for power, still have become the cold blooded person he'd become?

 

“It's the Darkness you want to heal?” Peter said, a strange expression painting his face.

“I-I just want to know if there's something I could do for him. There's got to be a way to relieve him of some of the burden. I know Stiles... I know him enough to know that if this doesn't stop soon... If he...” Derek felt cold, so, so cold at the thought. Knowing Stiles was in pain, at the mercy of his own mind, that he was constantly frightened, that he spent endless nights full of nightmares and days with invading hallucinations, it clawed at Derek. “Y-you have no idea how terrifying it is. To see the person you care about the most, losing their mind, it's just... I'm scare one day he might snap completely.”

“You really love that boy, don't you? It's not just about him being your mate anymore, you actually love him. You found human love!” Peter said, incredulity reshaping his features.

“You will never stop surprising me, Derek. You're both all Talia was and all your father was, all at once. Both very human and very werewolf. And surprisingly, Stiles is able to make you even more human, if that's possible. I always knew he was very special... I wonder what would have happened if he had accepted the offer I made him back then?”

“What offer?” Derek asked, suddenly on guard. 

“If he wanted the bite of course. What else?”

“What?” Derek exclaimed.

“He said no, of course, but his heart flickered so loudly, his words half true. Stiles would have made an amazing werewolf. Way better than young Scott.”

“I... I can't believe you did that. What were you thinking, offering the bite like it's candy. Stiles would never have accepted your offer anyway.”

“Hmm... Maybe you're right.”

 

Derek kept silent, it was better not to say anything or he would do something stupid. He felt the itching urge to beat Peter already enough right now.

 

“I'm gonna pretend you were nuts back then and try to forget what you just said. Now tell me, do you think I could absorb some of it?” He asked.

 

Peter’s eyes twinkled, amused but also looking curious.

 

“I have no idea, but I guess trying wouldn't do any harm, right? It's something I'm interested in seeing you succeed in.” The man said. Then added;

“You could start by trying to see it like actual pain, and try to absorb it like you would with any other pain. I think that if you both believe hard enough, then it might work.”

 

Derek thought it over, adding Peter's idea to his mental list. Now he only needed to wait for the opportunity to test this theory out. He needed Stiles to have another nightmare. He just really hoped, deep inside him, that it would work. That he would be able to help Stiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you that don't know about [my Tumblr](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/), know that I thought about it, after starting chapter 25 last night and I think the fic will be between 40-50 chapters long. So, still a long way to go and a lot for me to share with you all.
> 
> Love you, guys.


	21. A shocking truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 20 is finally here, guys.
> 
> Sorry if the wait was a bit long, but the result was worth the extra work i think.  
> Don't forget to leave a comment to tell me what you thought of it.
> 
>  
> 
> Chapters 21-24 are still in the magical hands of my lovely to be edited, but so far I'm going on Hiatus for a while I've got finals coming up and then re-take some exams from first semester, I need my complete focus on studying, so no more writing until July. In the mean time I hope my beta will be able to edit some more so that i can post a chap here and there.
> 
> Xoxo  
> Sin.

Sunday evening Derek sent a text to Stiles telling him he was back in town. The reply was almost immediate, but sadly, he had to tell Stiles he couldn't see him when the young man asked.

 

Derek needed time. Needed to be alone to think over everything that had happened this weekend.

 

He thought about Peter's words all night long. And they were still playing over in his mind throughout the day, Monday. He also put Deucalion's advice to good use and tried to trigger the alpha again. Out of the three times he'd tried getting in touch with it, only one had been successful. It was way harder to find that part of himself when he was calm, and not fighting back against someone. But he didn't stop trying,no matter what. His will was bigger than ever. His motivation worth more than it had ever been before.

For three days he worked hard, barely resting. He’d set himself a goal and he wouldn't stop working until he reached it.

 

Derek had spent the day editing pictures for Cynthia, the woman having sent him an email stating she wanted a look at the shoot they had done in Central Park. Derek felt like Cynthia had an idea in mind and he was sure it involved Stiles and the word _'exhibit'_.

 

He was working on those shots when his mobile started vibrating on the table next to the keyboard. He frowned when he saw it was the sheriff calling.

 

“Hello?” He said into the receiver.

“Derek, great, so glad I could reach you, son!”

“Afternoon, John. Is something wrong?” Derek asked, his gut knotting at the idea of something happening to Stiles.

“Yeah, no... Not exactly. It's just I'm stuck on a case here at the station and I was wondering if you could take Stiles home from school. His car broke down this morning so I had to drive him to school. Unfortunately, I don't know when I'll be done with work...”

“What time does he get out today?”

“At five.” Sheriff said.

Derek nodded, even though the man couldn't see him do so.

“Okay, I'll be there at 4:45.”

“Thanks, son. I'm really sorry I called out of the blue like this, but right now I really only trust you when it comes to my son.”

“It's no problem, John. Anytime.”

“Okay, got to run, son. I'll see you for dinner tonight then.”

“Huh...okay.”

 

John hung up, returning to his case, and Derek checked the time, he had fifty good minutes before he needed to be at the high school, if he left now he would be able to go buy some groceries for tonight's dinner; he wanted to cook for his mate and his mate’s father.

 

Turning off his iMac, he went downstairs to get dressed, getting out of his sweat pants and black tank top. Putting on his boots and leather jacket, he grabbed his keys, phone and wallet and then was out the door, climbing down the stairs.

 

The ride to the bio market wasn't long, leaving him to stroll casually around selecting his groceries and paying for them. Then he drove towards the high school, feeling eager to see Stiles after almost a week apart. He only hoped Stiles wouldn't react badly, the teenager still hadn't told anyone, besides Lydia, about them.

That thought kept playing on repeat in his mind, as he waited inthe parking lot for the students to finally be released from school.

  

At 4:50, students started coming out of the building. Derek climbed out of his car and sat against its hood, hands in his pocket, right foot tapping the ground, a knot in his stomach as he waited for Stiles, preferably without Scott if that was possible. He wanted for Stiles to avoid the troubles that would ensue if Scott caught them together without having being informed of them being together.

When Stiles came into view, he was involved in a whispered conversation with Lydia. The girl saw Derek first and stopped walking abruptly making Stiles stumble on his feet. Lydia hit him slightly and nodded towards Derek with her chin. Stiles lifted his gaze in the direction she indicated.

 

The moment their gazes locked, Derek felt like the world suddenly stopped, like nothing around them existed anymore, except him and Stiles, now running down the few stairs towards him. He nearly fell on his way but righted himself like a pro. Derek couldn't hide his smile, and caught the young man when Stiles threw himself at him. Arms around Derek's neck, nose buried in the crook between his neck and shoulder. He felt as much as he heard Stiles taking a deep breath of his scent. Derek did the same the instant his nose touched that expanse of skin behind Stiles' ear. Nothing else in the world felt as perfect, smelled as good as Stiles' scent.

 

“Oh my god, what the hell are you doing here?” Stiles whispered. He lifted his head to look at Derek more closely, a happy grin firmly held on his luscious lips.

“You're dad asked if I could give you aride. He's stuck on a case.” Derek answered, his arms tightening their hold on Stiles' hips. He noticed how it wasn't just bones anymore, the teen had gained a bit of weight that made holding him even better now than before.

“Great. I'll have to thank him then...” Stiles said, his gaze boring into Derek's, his long fingers playing in the short hair at the base of the mans nape. “I missed you so much...” 

He whispered softly, and the next moment his lips were on Derek's and the man couldn't stop a moan from escaping him, he had been waiting for this for what felt like centuries but was really only days. The kiss started slow, tender like a feather, then the heat increased, Derek wrapping his arms tighter around Stiles, the young man pressing himself against his lovers body

“ _Fuck_...I missed this so bad!” Derek groaned, cupping Stiles' face in his hands, making him bend his head so that he could kiss him deeper. His tongue finding its way into the hot cavern of Stiles' mouth. He felt the teen shiver when their tongues met, caressing each other in that old dance tongues have been dancing for so long now.

 

Kissing Stiles was like ecstasy, the effects could last for endless hours. The thrill of it so perfectly exhilarating, making you lose your head. The want Derek felt was stronger than ever, so much that he had a hard time remembering where they were and that he had to stop the kiss before taking Stiles right there on the hood of his car.

 

Stiles looked lost when the kiss ended, his cheeks sinfully pink. A small smile grazed his mouth, he was the image of happiness. Derek couldn't help himself running his fingers along the young man’s left cheek. They were lost in their private little world when they heard a gasp.

 

“Huh... Stiles? What's going on here?” Scott asked from behind Stiles. The teen froze, he had completely forgotten that his friend was still on the school grounds.

Exhaling slowly, Stiles met Derek's eyes and that was enough to make him gather all his courage and turn around to face a very pissed yet lost, Scott. Again, Stiles felt like facing a puppy. Blindly he searched for Derek's hand, the man helping him by lacing their fingers together without prompting, giving Stiles his silent support.

“Oh hey Scott... So, um, asyou can see...huh...Der and me are...like...dating! We've been dating for...hmm...for awhile now, as...well...you can see.”

Scott looked even more lost.

“What do you mean you've _been_ dating? Since when? And when did you even comeback to town?” He asked vehemently, pointing his finger at Derek.

 

Stiles felt defensive at Scott's tone. He’d known he’d be upset, but he hadn’t expected his best friend to sound so hateful. He was perfectly allowed to date whoever the hell he wanted to, and didn’t need this kind of reaction from his best friend.

“He's been back for _months_ , dude!” Stiles answered, his built up frustration at Scott exploding  after all the time he’d shoved it down, tired of always biting his tongue and not saying anything  for the sake of their friendship. “ It's something you should have known the _moment_ he stepped foot into town, Scott. It wasn't even a secret for anyone that Derek was back. But then again, you would only have known if you cared enough in anything else than yourself lately.”

“What are you saying?”

“I'm saying that since you've became a true alpha, it's only has been about you and only you. First it was how the sacrifice fucked you up, then it was Allison and Isaac, then you and how big your head is since your that amazing werewolf and now it's you and that... _girl_ ! Never _**once** _ did you asked me how I was feeling or shown any interest in actually wanting to hear a real answer. So don't come and act like you're angry at me for not telling you I'm in love with Derek Hale. And don't you _dare_ talking to him the way you just did, Scott!”

“What? What you're saying is just...crazy! I've shown an interest.” Scott retorted, choosing the denial card.

“Oh yes...” Stiles exclaimed, his hand gripping tightly to Derek's. “Then where were you when I needed my best friend? When I was having nightmares every damn night, so bad I was literally losing my mind. Where were you when I sat in the lunch room unable to eat a thing for _MONTHS_ ? Where were you when I was hallucinating because of that fucking Darkness tearing a hole inside my heart? And _**where** _ were you when I needed you to offer me your hand, Scott?” Stiles said, looking very tired all of a sudden. God, he was so damn exhausted.

“You weren't there, Scott. Derek was. He has been there everyday since he returned to town and has been helping me since. I do _not_ need your approval when it comes to him.”

“So what,you're picking him over me?” Scott said, disdain in his voice.

“Right now, yes. I'm picking Derek over you!” Stiles answered coldly.

“I can't believe this.” Scott said between his teeth.

 

Stiles stood silent. He could not believe that after all that had happened, after how many times Derek had helped them, had helped Scott, that his friend would use such disdain when referring to Derek. But right now, Stiles was just not strong enough to start another endless fight with Scott about it.

 

“Bring me home, please.” He whispered, turning back to Derek. The man nodded, silently leading him to the passenger side, he opened the door for Stiles to climb in. He closed the door behind him and found himself behind the wheel in no time.

 

*

 

They were silent for a long moment before Derek finally broke it by asking;

 

“You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I'm alright.” Stiles said trying to smile reassuringly but failing. He knew he couldn't fool Derek anyway.

“Stiles...” Derek said softly, and that was enough to break all the defensive walls Stiles was trying to quickly build around himself, like a shield.

“I-I'm... I just wanna get home, lie down and forget Scott. I just... I just want to be with you right now.” He admitted in a low voice.

Derek looked at him while they were waiting for the traffic lights to change to green. On impulse he reached for Stiles' hands, stopping him from biting his nails out of nervousness.

 

“Hey. It's okay, Scott is gonna calm down and will come to you when he has fully registered everything you've said to him. Then you two will be able to have a good talk, and be back to being best friends.”

“How come I never saw this side of you when we met? I mean, it was there in front of me but I was too blind to see how great you are.”

“We let our guards down and started trusting each other. Before that I was so angry and looking for revenge that that's the only thing you could see of me. I'm glad our paths crossed though.”

“I am too, Derek.” Stiles confessed, kissing Derek's fingertips before the man retrieved his arm to drive, now that the light was green.

 

Ten, fifteen minutes later maybe, they were closing the front door of the Stilinskis’ home. Derek had never told Stiles but he loved this house, it was so calm and peaceful, and it smelled amazing too, a mix of Stiles, his dad, gun powder, food, cologne and that typical scent caused by Stiles' ADHD. It smelled of men, love... _**Family!**_

 _It smelled of_ _**pack.** _

 

Stiles helped Derek with the groceries, curious to know what the man had bought and what he was planning to make for dinner tonight.

 

“So... Are you gonna tell me why tonight’s meal is such a big secret?”

Derek smiled and arranged the food on the table.

“Can't you guess?”

Stiles observed the food, then grinned;

“We're having pizza? Awww... Der, you're awesome, I _loooove_ pizza.”

“Veggie pizza, I know your dad is on a diet so I thought we could make the pizza ourselves with what we actually love and huh... Have the same as him. I feel like it would be cruel to eat meat in front of him.”

“Oh man, could you be more perfect, dude! You just killed me good Derek Hale. I'm so completely and utterly gone...” Stiles dramatically said, going to wrap his arms around Derek's neck.

“Aren't you warm with your jacket on?” He said letting his hands slip under the leather. Derek smirked;

“Are you trying to undress me, Genim?” He said, whispering Stiles’ birth name, which, like always made the young man shiver violently against him.

“Maybe I am...” He murmured, caressing Derek's lips with his.

 

Derek smiled and bent his head to kiss Stiles. Gosh, it was something he could never get tired of doing. And hearing the sounds Stiles made when he held him tight, his tongue invading the teens mouth! He felt his jacket sliding on his arms as Stiles took it off of him.

Wrapping his arms around Stiles' hips, he made him take a few steps backward until he hit the counter, with ease he then lifted Stiles to sit him on the countertop. Not once breaking the kiss.

Stiles reacted instinctively by wrapping his legs around Derek's hips.

 

“Hnn... Derek...” He moaned in the mans mouth. “Please, let's go to my room. I need to lay down...in my bed...with you.”

 

Derek broke the kiss and met Stiles' gaze, want burning inside those beautiful whiskey eyes he loved so much. Nodding, he helped Stiles get down from the counter, took his hand and lead them towards the staircase.

 

Soon, they were wrapped up around each other, kissing passionately, Stiles pinned under Derek's body against the soft fabric of his dark blue comforter. He moaned, his hips starting to sway slowly against Derek's. The mans fingers buried into Stiles' soft locks, panting Derek broke the kiss, his mouth only millimeters from Stiles' when he spoke;

 

“Did you mean it?” He asked softly, his voice shaking with want. And man was it hard to resist when Stiles was pressed against him like that, but he needed to know.

“What?” Stiles said, confused.

“When you told Scott about us...y-you said you're in love with me... Was it... Was it true?”

 

Stiles kept silent, feeling suddenly scared to admit his feelings but at the same time he remembered how Derek had taken the first step, going against all he was, all the barriers he had built around him to protect himself from people, he remembered how that must have been the hardest thing for him to do. And still he had done it and had presented himself whole and open to Stiles, confessing his feelings.

 

“Yeah...yes, it was true. I-I'm in love with you! I have been for a long time, to be honest.” And that was it, it only required that Stiles trust Derek just enough for the words to leave his lips.

 

Derek's smile at those words... Stiles would never forget that expression. This mix of relief, love, joy, and something else near to soft sadness and also devotion. Derek looked so raw at that instant, so fragile and yet it seemed he only needed those words to gain more confidence, more... _**Power!** _

 

“God, Stiles... I am so in love with you!” Derek said, his voice hoarse. “Imissed you so much this weekend, you have no idea.” He told Stiles, going to kiss his jaw, then moved towards his ear.

“Oh... _god_ , Derek...” Stiles breathed out, as his lover started nibbling on his earlobe. It felt so good. So amazingly delicious.

 

Derek kept on biting softly at his earlobe, then moved to suck on the fragile skin behind his ear, slowly making his way down to his collarbone, gradually driving Stiles mad. When he felt Stiles starting to shake between his arms, he went back to kissing his luscious mouth, Stiles' lips swollen with their lovemaking.

 

“Stiles...” Derek whispered in between kisses; “I want you so much.”

“What?” Stiles croaked, going still in Derek's arms. The man lifted his head so they could look into each other's eyes. “Wh-... Are you... Derek are you serious?” He asked, scared to hear the answer.

“Yes. I am. I'm more than serious, Stiles. I want you...I crave you so much!”

“B-but you said...” Stiles tried to articulate weakly.

“I know. But I... I feel like... I know I can trust you. I know you won't...hurt me like all the others.”

“No... No, I will never, Derek. I promise you, I'll try as hard as possible to never hurt you." Stiles told him. He never seemed so honest, Derek thought.

“But why now? What made you change your mind? You said you wanted us to take things slow.”

“I know I said that, but it was because I needed to protect myself, I needed to be completely sure...”

“Sure about what?”

“That you're the one. That you really are the one. And...you are!”

“Derek...”

“I'm not saying I want us to do it right now, because obviously your dad could come home anytime and it just doesn't feel right to do this here and break his trust. But I know I want you. I know I want us to be together that way...in the future. I know I don't want us to wait endlessly anymore.” Derek confessed.

 

Stiles kept silent a long moment, his shaking fingers drawing Derek's features. Then, after what felt like an eternity, he nodded slowly. Moved. His eyes shining with unshed tears. He wouldn't cry, for reasons... But nothing could stop the wave of happiness he felt inside of him from growing, growing, and growing some more, pushing out all the remaining darkness, leaving him feeling whole once more.

 

*

 

Actually making pizzas was a first for Stiles. He’d never tried this before, since it was always easier to just order pizzas. But he had to give it to Derek, making pizzas was actually a lot of fun.

The feel of dough under his fingers, picking at vegetables and eating them instead of laying them on the pizza while Derek had his attention elsewhere, then starting a flour fight with the man just to see his face turn incredulous when it got in his hair. Yeah, Stiles could honestly say it had been awhile since he’d had so much fun.

 

The young man laughed out loud, as Derek was chasing him around the kitchen.

 

“No using werewolf speed, big guy. This is so unfair. I'm just human...”

“Yeah, my human!” Derek whispered when he caught Stiles in his arms.

 

His hair white with flour, his smile brighter than ever and his cheeks pink with amusement, Derek was so goddamn beautiful. Stiles felt his heart fluttered with emotions, and there, if that was even possible, he fell head over heels all over again for Derek Hale. Derek must have sensed the change in atmosphere cause his eyes turned soft and he bent down slowly to take his lips.

 

Stiles let the man kiss him for what felt like hours, his arms tightly wrapped around Derek's shoulders, his fingers playing lazily in the man’s short hair. His nose filled with Derek scent, a mix of leather, spices, cardamom and something a bit more musky that was only Derek's.

 

A year ago, if you would have told him he would be so hopelessly in love and happy with Derek Hale, he wouldn't have believed it, but now...

Now, yes, now everything could only just start getting better because of those few words, because he knew, he was so totally certain Derek Hale would always be there, Derek Hale would never be anything but his. And his shattered heart knew it too, so deeply Stiles could feel it start to beat slowly again. "I love you, Derek Hale!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****  
>  [My Tumblr](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	22. Let's talk about... Sex!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there guys, so surprise, here is chapter 21.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy you're reading.
> 
> xoxo  
> Sin.

Admitting to yourself that you love someone is a fucking  _**big** _ step. Actually  telling  that person you love them... Is like moving mountains. _Seriously!_

 

That’s what Stiles told himself when he went to sleep two nights after the pizza he and Derek had made for dinner with his father. That night had been just perfect.

Watching his dad and Derek interact so easily, noticing that they have a few things in common. Seeing his dad eat his veggie pizza like it was the best steak he’d ever had, and feeling warm all over every time Derek’s knee brushed his under the table... Yeah, it couldn’t have been more perfect. Even the thought of Scott discovering they were dating couldn’t cloud the happiness Stiles felt that night.

But now, now that Scott knew the truth, and Stiles had told anyone listening - _Derek included_ \- that he loved Derek Hale, now that Derek had decided he was ready, they were ready, Stiles was freaking out.

 

Seriously, Stiles had never had sex with anyone before, ever. Yes, he’d researched the subject, yes he had watched a monstrous amount of porn, _mostly gay_ , but still, nothing about any of that could prepare him for losing his V card, and nothing could really give him the answers he needed when it came to werewolf sex.

 

_What would sex with_ _a were_ _be like_ _? How was he supposed to act? What was he suppose to do_ _, or not do_ _? Would it be like human sex? Or_ _did_ _werewolf sex_ _involve weird shit_ _like knotting?_

 

He’d tried researching werewolf sex on google but that had led to strange porn, and even stranger blogs. The information he’d gathered on actual wolves though, all claimed knotting as being a very important part of intercourse. Would it be the same for Derek? Would he have a knot, and want Stiles to take it?  _**(*)** _

 

All these questions were starting to freak him out good because he had no answers to them, and because he really didn’t know who to ask for answers. Scott was...not talking to him. Lydia would laugh in his face. Cora was miles away and they really didn’t have the kind of friendship where he could ask for werewolf sex tips. Also, knowing they were for him and her big grumpy brother would probably freak her out. Asking Peter...No... _HALE NO!_ He would never ask that man for sex help!

 

Of course, he could just ask Derek about it but... Wouldn’t it be strange to ask him things like this? Plus Stiles would inevitably want to ask the man about his past sexual experiences, and Stiles really didn’t want to bring Kate into their sex life. He was completely lost, not even his dad could help him this time.

 

His brain was still in overdrive when he left for school, managing god knows how, not to crash the Jeep in his very distracted state. When he arrived though, everything was more or less normal. Sure, Scott was avoiding him but Stiles didn’t have the brain space to worry about that right now. Besides, Derek was right, Scott would eventually come to his senses, at least Stiles hoped so, and the teen knew where to find Stiles when he was ready to talk.

Right now, Stiles was preoccupied by paying attention in class and figuring out a way to talk to Derek about their future sex life. He’d finally decided that if he was going to get answers he’d have to get them from his boyfriend. He hoped it would also show Derek how Stiles trusted him to talk about...these things with him. The question now was how he would bring up the subject in their conversation.

 

It was during lunch when the idea hit him. Lydia was asking him about the exhibit’s critique and it became clear how to talk to Derek without feeling stupid.

Stiles thought about those first weeks, how Derek had gotten him to open up, how the intimacy and trust had grown between them.

Stiles figured that after all they’d shared until now, the intimacy that had grown between them as well as the trust, the best way to start getting used to being naked around Derek and comfortable later when they had sex, would be to start the nude pictures Stiles had once talked to Derek about. It couldn’t do any harm, right? And to be honest Stiles worried about what Derek’s opinion of his body would be.

 

“Earth to Stiles…” Lydia suddenly said, tearing him out of his reverie. “What's bothering you so much, Stilinski?”

“Nothing, nothing!”

“Yeah, I believe you…” She said with sarcasm.

“Really, it's nothing, Lydia. Just thinking about something that's all.”

“Ok.” she answered, lifting a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “You have plans after school?” She then asked him.

“Homework, bring lunch to my dad and then spend some time with Derek, I guess.” He answered, feeling weirdly free to be able to speak that freely and not have to whisper or talk in code to mention Derek anymore. This was so good. So relieving to not feel like Derek was a dirty little secret. No matter who could hear them talking now, he was happy to be free to talk to Lydia about his boyfriend without the constant worry of Scott hearing them.

“That sounds good. Don't forget next Wednesday is mine though.”

“I won't.” He smiled. Years ago, Stiles would have never believed how good it would be to share a strong friendship with Lydia and not be obsessed by something that clearly never would have happened.

 

Finishing his plate, he started thinking about which words to use when in front of Derek later that afternoon.

*

 

Doing homework, making dinner and bringing it to the sheriff at the station, felt like endless hours but really, only two and a half of them had passed. And the ball of nervousness knotting his stomach didn't seem to care much about such details. 

 

> _Was Stiles stressed_ _about spending_ _time with his very werewolf-y boyfriend?_
> 
> **No.**
> 
> _Was Stiles stressed_ _about showing up_ _to the loft completely unannounced?_
> 
> **No. Well, not really…**
> 
> _Was Stiles stressed_ _about asking_ _his very werewolf-y boyfriend to start taking pictures of him_ _in his birthday_ _suit, just so he could take advantage of_ _the intimate_ _moments to ask Derek about werewolf sex?_
> 
> **Well...Yeah...he was totally freaking out... (Internally!)**

 

But Stiles had proven multiple times before that he had balls, big ones if he did say so himself. So he wasn’t going to back down now. He needed answers to his too many questions or he would go nuts.

 

Three little knocks on the door and Derek was facing him just sometime later, looking happily surprised to see him.

 

“Stiles..?”

“Surprise!” He exclaimed cheerfully, well as much as he could, knowing how he was in fact super nervous and all.

“I wasn't expecting you,” Derek said, moving from the entrance; “But don't just stand there, come in.”

“Thanks.” Stiles murmured, coming in. By habit, he left his shoes at the door and belongings by the couch, thinking it was funny how second nature these kind of things were to him now.

“Does your dad know you're here?” Derek asked, closing the door behind him, moving into the loft once that was done. “Is there some special occasion, you're he-mmm...”

 

Stiles didn't let him finish his sentence, cutting Derek off in the middle of it by suddenly kissing him. It only took a second for Derek to register what was happening, and then he was kissing Stiles back with passion, the young man circling his neck with his long arms, slender fingers finding their way through Derek's short hair.

Long minutes later, they parted breathless. Derek whispered, Stiles gently panting against his left cheek;

 

“Not complaining about you showing up unannounced but... What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Stiles breathed out, slowly caressing Derek's neck with his nose, taking in the man’s delicious smell. “Nothing, I just wanted to see you.”

“Oh is that so? Did you miss me, _Genim_?” Derek tenderly asked.

“Aww... Enough, with that name! Can't a human take advantage of their very werewolf-y boyfriend when they have the opportunity and time to do it? Or maybe you'd just like me to go?”

“What? Go? No, you're staying right here!” Derek replied, stealing another kiss. “Take advantage of me, huh... That's interesting, and how do you plan on doing that... _Genim_?”

“Derek...” Stiles gasped, shivering, Derek's lips sliding slowly along his ear.

“You ask me to stop using your name, but every time I do you can't help but melt in my arms...” He whispered in the shell of Stiles' ear.

“I-I was the one supposed to take advantage of you.”

“You shouldn't smell so good then, or be so responsive.”

“Oh yeah...”

“Yeah!” Derek answered, lifting him up. Stiles wrapped his legs around the man's waist by reflex and let him take him to the bed, where Derek laid down on top of him, comfortably positioned between his thighs.

Stiles shivered and panted as Derek kept kissing and scenting his neck. His skin was on fire, his insides burning with so much desire, it made him feel dizzy.

“ _God, baby._ How can you smell so good?” Derek said in between kisses.

Stiles trembled, his jeans feeling tighter and tighter, his hips starting to press against Derek’s, feeling the man’s sex through his jeans, just as hard as Stiles was.

“Derek, I... _Oh god..._ ” He exclaimed suddenly , as  Derek was sucking the tender skin between his shoulder and neck. “Fuck! You have no idea how it turns me on when you do...mmm... _that!_ Der...” Stiles admitted, pressing his feet on Derek's butt so that he could feel the mans sex rub his just a tad bit closer.

Suddenly, Derek's hands were caressing his skin under his t-shirt, slowly making their way up his ribs, which sent violent goosebumps all over his body. A loud moan escaped him when he felt thumbs caress his nipples.

“God, keep doing that and you're gonna make me come!”

“Really?” Derek whispered against his lips, kissing him lazily, his tongue caressing Stiles' slowly.

“Mmm...” Stiles moaned, his right hand pulling gently on Derek’s hair, as the other more adventurous hand found its way underneath the man’s Henley and caressed down his spine, sliding slowly until stopping on Derek’s ass.

“I-we... If we don’t stop now...” Derek said, his voice deeper than ever, which sent chills across Stiles’ skin. “If we don’t stop, I won’t be able to control myself. You and your scent, and the way you feel against me... It’s just...”

“I know. I know, Derek. I feel the same way and... We’ve got time, right?” Stiles cut him off. His voice reassuring Derek that it was okay to stop and not go too fast.

“Besides, I've been wanting to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Huh, can we...first...” Stiles muttered, moving uncomfortably under Derek.

 

The man got the hint and rolled onto his side facing Stiles. The teen stayed there watching the ceiling for a long moment before jerking into a sitting position, and turning half way towards Derek. By habit he started playing with his fingers to hide a bit of his nervousness. 

Derek watched him silently, waiting for Stiles to speak. Tenderly, he put a hand on Stiles’ fingers, making him stop playing with them. This got him Stiles’ attention and the young man relaxed into his touch.

 

“Hey, you know you can tell me anything, right?” He gently said.

“Yeah...yeah I know, it's just a bit... I don't really know how to talk about this.”

“With words would be the best way to do it.”

“Ha ha, Sourwolf thinks he’s funny.” Stiles mocked not amused but he had to admit,he felt less on edge after that bad joke.

“Promise me you won’t laugh in my face, okay?”

“No, of course not. Come on, Stiles, just tell me. I won't make fun of you, I promise.”

“Ok. Ok.” Stiles repeated, breathing loudly. “Gosh, you're gonna think I'm stupid...” He said between his teeth; “Okay, so, you know we've talk about not waiting anymore, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And just, huh, I-I’ve been thinking, and I’ve got all these questions and there’s so much I don’t know and I just...I just didn’t know who else to ask, and then I thought you’d still be the best person to talk to, but it’s really...like...a sensitive subject, and I don’t want to seem stupid, but I just...I just need answers, and…”

“Stiles, breathe!” Derek said, cutting off Stiles’ rambling. The sudden remark allowed the teenager to breathe more easily and focus.

“I’ve got a lot of questions about...the sex. Obviously, I’m still a virgin and as much as I know about werewolves, this is a subject I couldn’t find answers to.”

“Hm, okay. Ask me whatever you want, I'll try to answer the best I can.”

“Thank you.” Stiles whispered, touched that Derek was really willing to talk about this and wasn't glaring at him for asking.

 

“Okay, so...huh...first, is werewolf sex that much different from human sex?”

“I don't know how it is between two humans or even two werewolves, but yes, werewolf sex can be pretty...intense!”

“How so?”

“Well, I guess like for humans, the stronger their feelings, the more intense it is. I mean, when we have feelings or are with our ma-partner,” Derek quickly said, not wanting to scare Stiles with the idea of mates; “Sex can become something really intimate. Suddenly you feel so close to the other person, you just give it your whole self.”

“Did you...did you ever experience something like that... Like it was so intense you wanted to give in completely?” Stiles asked with a shy voice.

“No. I’ve never been with someone that made me feel like that... Not until now.” Derek answered, his eyes boring into Stiles’.

The teen forgot how to breathe for a second, then started to talk again. Feeling like he was more and more at ease with the subject he lay back down on his side, still facing Derek, but the position felt more intimate suddenly, more secure for what they were talking about. Entwining his fingers with Derek's he said;

“Until now?”

“Yes, until now. It’snever been like this before... With anyone. Not even Paige.”

Stiles kept silent, blushing a bit. There was nothing he could say to that and that revelation made him feel so warm inside. So ridiculously happy and important.

 

“Okay, hum, this brings me to my second question, I guess... Do werewolves have mates? I know actual wolves do, but is it the same dynamic for a werewolf?”

“We do have the same mate dynamic, yes.”

“How does it work? How do you know that someone is your mate? What does being a mate even mean?”

“A mate is... Someone you feel pulled to, the one person that you just know has everything you would want in a mate. When you meet your mate, you just feel it so deep inside you, like... Like finding the missing piece. They make you stronger. They make you feel better, more anchored, more human, they just... Make you feel whole again. That kind of connection, it only happens once in the life of a werewolf. Losing your mate can drive you to death or worse... Insanity, revenge, you become like Peter!”

“He had a mate?” Stiles asked, shaken and surprised.

“Yes, Amélia. They got married when they were in their twenties. She was human. When Peter lost her and the baby she was carrying, he became the monster he was when he bit Scott. Seeing him that way... I would choose to end it quickly if I ever lost my mate.”

 

The look in Derek’s eyes, the intensity behind those green orbs, Stiles knew there was something Derek wasn’t telling him, something important, big enough to turn his whole world upside down. He should have been scared to face such intensity but all he felt was hope that Derek would confess that he, _Stiles_ , was his mate.

 

“Next question?” Derek asked him, nicely changing the subject.

“Okay, so I know about Liam, that you were together and everything but I need to know if you...huh... Were you with other men or have you always been attracted to men _and_ women?”

“Born werewolves are all bisexual, it’s something written in our genes, increasing our chances when it comes to mating and reproducing. Bitten wolves are different, they maintain their sexuality through the change.” Derek explained, being clear and to the point. That assurance succeeded in relaxing Stiles completely.

“And as for Liam. He was the only man in my life. Until you. When I met you I just... You were always in my head, from that moment in the forest until today.”

“You’re the only man for me, you know. It’s true I thought I was in love with Lydia; I was so obsessed with her for years, that I couldn’t see anyone else. When I got to high school and suddenly I was feeling things, noticing things about other guys, it was so confusing. And then you appeared in the preserve. Something changed in me; I couldn’t explain it but I knew what it meant. I hadn’t been looking at guys out of curiosity or because of teenage hormones, I was looking for something. It’s like meeting you was finding the last piece of a very complicated puzzle. Afterwards, you were always here in my head, slowly making your way here...” Stiles finally whispered, laying his hand over his heart.

“I'm scared you know...” He admitted all of a sudden. 

“Why? You don’t have to be.”

“I know, it’s stupid. But you’ve got experience, a past, and I...I’m just an inexperienced eighteen year old virgin. I’m so scared I’ll be bad at this, that I won’t be able to please you...”

“Stiles, look at me...” Derek said, lifting Stiles’ chin till their eyes met. “You don’t have to be scared. I know we’re going to be amazing together from the very first time, that every experience I had in the past will pale in comparison, because what I feel for you, it is so much stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before. Everything with you feels so _right_ , because  it’s _you_!”

“Derek...”

“You don’t know how in love with you I am. It scares me, it’s so powerful, something I’ve never felt before, and yet I can’t help wanting it, knowing its right.”

“I love you!” Stiles whispered, shaken.

Derek bent over to kiss him tenderly, just a press of their lips against each other's. 

“Plus, you know... They say it’s better with someone experienced!” Derek whispered with a small wicked smile.

Shocked, Stiles gently punched the man’s chest, making him laugh softly.

“Oh, shut up. We were having a moment here, Sourwolf!”

“Alright, alright. I'm sorry. I won't make bad jokes or comments anymore.”

“Good!”

“Do you have more questions?”

“Yeah, like a thousand!”

“Luckily we’ve got time, right?” Derek joked.

 

Stiles kept silent, turned to lay on his back, and started fidgeting with his fingers again. It was true, he felt like at least a thousand questions where buzzing in his head but he didn’t know where to start or which would be inappropriate to ask. One question though, kept coming to the surface of his mind. He’d been obsessing over it for weeks now but didn’t know how to ask about it. It was something so personal, so very... _intimate_.

 

“Stiles,” Derek said gently; “Just ask your question, you look like you're in pain.”

 

_‘_ _Yeah, easier said than done!’_ Stiles thought. Figuring he wouldn’t be at peace until he had his answers, he just went for it. Covering his red face with both hands, he suddenly blurted out;

 

“I know that real wolves get stuck together during...sex. Do werewolves have... knots too?”

 

There, he’d said it. It felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but the longer the silence stretched between them, the more Stiles’s stomach seemed to clench. Then he felt the mattress move next to him, and soft hands were pulling his away from his face. When he opened his eyes, Derek’s breathtaking jade eyes met his.

 

“I’ve never experienced it but I have heard stories of born werewolves...Alphas, having...umm...knots. But like I said, I’ve never felt like I needed or wanted to claim someone before, so I don’t know for sure.”

“Before?” Stiles asked, knowing Derek meant something else by that.

“Yeah, before. I’ve never felt anything like this before, the need, the desire to claim someone, to make them mine... Until you!”

“You want to claim me? As yours?”

“Well...huh...yeah, I do.” Derek answered shyly, looking at the pillow next to Stiles' face and not to Stiles' eyes anymore.

“Derek, am I your mate?” Sitting up to be face to face with Derek, Stiles asked with a sudden certainty, an assurance in his voice he hadn’t felt a few minutes earlier while questioning Derek.

 

The werewolf froze; _What was he supposed to say now? What if the answer made Stiles run away? What if being honest costed him the young man? What if…_

 

“Derek answer me, please.” Stiles whispered, cutting through the flood of his thoughts. Breathing deeply, Derek met his gaze and said softly, fear shaking his voice;

“Yes. Yes, you are my mate, Stiles Stilinski.”

 

For a long moment Stiles stayed silent. Immobile. Just contemplating Derek’s face. Then, he broke out of the moment and grabbed Derek’s hand, smiling. He dragged the man with him upstairs to the studio where he went to stand in the middle of the shooting area. He met Derek’s uncertain eyes and started to strip out of his clothes while talking.

 

“Good. That’s very good, because I don’t want to be with anyone else!”

“Okay... What are you doing?”

“I’ve been thinking about this for awhile...I think the best way for me to get comfortable with nudity, with intimacy and your eyes on me, is for you to start shooting me nude. I’m ready now, I feel confident in front of you, and I trust you. So...What do you think?” Stiles finished asking.

 

Derek was silent, unable to look away from the pearly white skin in front of him, dotted by delicate moles all over Stiles’ exposed body. He’s so beautiful, he thought. So beautiful standing naked in front of him, one hand covering his sex while the other went to rest on his neck. The view took Derek’s breath away. He wanted him, _oh god_ how he wanted to take him right  there ,  claim him as his. But he held back his instincts and instead picked his camera up off the desk where it’d been by the  computer . He  turned back towards Stiles, lifted the camera and began shooting . The click of the lens closing sounding like the _**‘**_ _ **yes’** _ they both couldn’t express right now.

 

“I feel like I’ll deserve a medal after all this, because resisting you is gonna be the hardest thing I’ll do in my life!” Derek answered, taking a second picture. Stiles smiled softly at his words, a delicate flush caressing his face and cascading slowly down his chest.

 

 

**_(*) Note - Knotting - I do not find knotting weird, nor does Stiles in this verse, he’s just in the middle of freaking out and that’s how his spastic brain works._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...????
> 
> Any thoughts on this chap?
> 
> Tell me in a comment.


	23. Nudity...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Here comes the new chapter, guys.  
> I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it :-D
> 
> Next one will be i don't really know how, but i hope it won't take too long.

Derek had worked with naked people in the past, had never really minded their nudity or had any problems. Partly it had to do with being born in a werewolf family; They had less boundaries because of their heightened senses. So when it came to taking pictures of naked people, he never really minded it or found it uncomfortable. That was, until Stiles Stilinski and his alluring, gorgeous body came along.

 

Resisting Stiles’ naked body was...quite the struggle, but Derek managed to hold back, to stay professional. Harder to ignore was his scent. Without any clothes on, it seemed ten times stronger, and it was driving Derek mad. His wolf was going crazy, clawing at him with the urge to claim, to mark what was theirs but was being kept meters away.

*

 

Their first official shoot had been surprising, but also very intimate. Something Derek wasn’t accustomed to, something he had never experienced while working with someone before. When Stiles had come out of the bathroom that day, only wearing a bathrobe, Derek had felt something break loose inside of himself. Yes, he loved Stiles, was in love with every part of him. Yes, he wasn’t a stranger to wanting the young man in a more intimate way. What he hadn’t realized until that moment though, as Stiles appeared before him, beautiful in the soft white bathrobe, barefoot, his long fingers playing with the sash holding the cloth closed, was how attractive Stiles really was and how much Derek was affected by him. He had always found Stiles’ awkward self sexy, but never before had Derek felt pulled so strongly by his boyfriends’ sex appeal.

It was needless to say then that he had made an exploit by staying professional and composed when Stiles had dropped the bathrobe and went to sit awkwardly on the chair Derek had placed in the center of the shooting space.

He still didn’t know how he’d managed to stay in control, confident and detached as if Stiles’ nudity didn’t do a thing to him when it was clearly the contrary.

 

Just like the first time, it was hardest to resist Stiles’ warmth, his scent coming in waves, his skin so amazingly soft under his fingers, his heartbeat quickening with every brush of Derek’s fingers on his flesh, his breath starting to sound a bit labored and the very obvious display of his arousal.

“It’s gonna be fine, relax...” Derek had whispered, trying to calm Stiles down.

Thank god for that chair, Derek thought. He had told Stiles how to place himself on it, straddling the chair, feet touching the ground on his tip-toes, arms loosely crossed on the chair’s back, his face a bit turned to the right but his gaze still looking straight at the camera.

“Can you open your legs, yeah like that, and place your arms here. Turn your head a bit, please... Yes, perfect! Now, look at the camera and try not to move until I ask you to.”

 

 _God, he was breathtaking_ ; Derek had told himself as he took picture after picture, circling Stiles a bit. He made him change positions a few times, moved the chair around about the same amount, kept shooting. He could hear Stiles’ excitement as much as he could smell it and when their eyes met a few times over the lens of the camera, the heat that was reflecting in both their gazes couldn’t be denied.

 

So yes, Derek had often worked around naked people, but none had ever affected him the way Stiles was able to. _None._ Not even Liam. Stiles was unique and would always be the only one to trouble him that way, of that Derek was certain.

It wasn’t surprising at all then that this new side of their collaboration proved to be hard on Derek’s nerves. The fact that the sessions were affecting Stiles as much as him didn’t offer even the least bit of relief. On the contrary, it only fueled Derek’s desire to claim Stiles. Which was why Derek was kind of afraid to see the teenager today.

 

Stiles had texted Derek the night before to tell him he wouldn’t have school at all on Friday due to the teachers having an Administration Day and that he would be happy to use that free time to do a session, if Derek wasn’t already busy working on something of course. Derek wasn’t, so of course he’d told Stiles so and they had arranged a time for them to start working. Derek hadn’t paused to think of the hardship it would be to be around a naked Stiles all day long. After worrying about it for a half hour, Derek had maned up and convinced himself, ( _the best he could_ ), that he was strong enough to resist taking Stiles on the floor of the studio.

*

 

Stiles parked Roscoe in the private parking behind the loft, Derek had given him keys to all the doors early on, in case Stiles ever needed access and couldn’t reach Derek, and took a deep breath. He’d gone to bed last night with a tight knot in his gut and it’d still been there when he’d woken up this morning. He didn’t know why he was so wound up about today, it wasn’t like it would be his first time standing naked in front of Derek.

 

Truth is; though, Stiles felt more and more exposed with each new session. In a good way, don’t get him wrong. Honestly, voyeurism had revealed itself to be a fucking big kink for him. Feeling Derek’s eyes on him, caressing his body with lust, _**oh my god** _. He had stopped counting the number of times he had popped a boner. He would have never thought nudity would turn out to be so erotic, make him so on edge and receptive to Derek, make him quickly forget most of his insecurities. Derek’s comments on how sexy and beautiful he looked might have helped a great deal with his self-esteem too.

Today Stiles was hoping to do something a little different. Now that they were doing this, Stiles had started researching nude photography and seeing as how they were lucky to have all of Friday free to shoot, Stiles had come up with a setting he’d like to try.

*

 

Derek let ten minutes of Stiles sitting in the Jeep outside pass before he moved towards the door but he’d only reached the staircase when the teen finally got out and entered his building. Derek listened intently to his steps to the elevator and then towards his door. Listened as Stiles let himself in, then locked the loft door behind him as he’d started doing each time they did a shoot or even just when they were hanging out. It was a need they both felt, to lock the door to the outside world and forget all about it when they were together. Stiles took off his jacket, shoes and socks and then Derek heard him climbing the staircase to the studio.

“Hey you,” Stiles said, once he entered the studio, soft smile showing the love and intimacy that was their relationship now, letting the world see how important they were to each other. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. You?” Derek asked, bending a bit to kiss Stiles’ soft lips when the boy came to greet him ‘ _good morning’_.

“Nervous,” Stiles admitted, his cheeks reddening slightly, before he added; “but very good today.”

Derek smiled; Stiles did look good today, and that was a sight that always got him deep, too many were the times when the teenager looked hollow and haunted. Today was a day Derek wouldn't miss for anything.

 

“Derek...?!” Stiles said in a small voice, Derek sensed him going very shy all of a sudden.

“Yeah, what is it, Stiles?”

“So, I’ve been thinking a lot and there’s something I wanted to ask you, but huh...”

“Tell me, I won’t bite, I promise.” Derek said, joking a bit, which brought a smile to Stiles’ face.

“Okay, so, huh...man, this is awkward,” Stiles whispered, rubbing his heated face with his hands.

Derek kept silent. He knew Stiles well enough to know when not to push him, so he waited for the brunet to talk.

 

“You know that since we started these new sessions that I’ve been researching into photography and the history of it, that I even looked into painting. That I try to _understand_ concepts, how the artist and the model work . What stories were being told by  the paintings and pictures I’ve looked at. Also, I tried to understand under what circumstances and in what period of time these pieces had been done. Well, I noticed a common theme; my favorites  all share  a degree of intimacy that you can  _feel_. So that got me thinking and you know me, you know how my brain always goes all over the place, sometimes barely focusing, or focusing way to fucking much sometimes too, and then...”

“Stiles, breathe. You’re rambling.” Derek cut him off. It was done gently though, with a tenderness Derek rarely showed outside these walls.

Stiles breathed deeply, trying to get a hold of his racing heart. He didn’t even know why it was racing that fast when he just wanted to ask something simple of Derek, it wasn’t like he was about to ask the man to do something horrible or embarrassing! No! _So, if his stupid human heart could turn it down a notch,_ _that_ _would be great._

 

“Okay, yeah, so after all that research,”

“Did you stay up all night researching?” Derek asked, cutting him off again, not even blinking as he was doing it.

“Huh, yeah...well, not really, it was only most of the night. But who cares, that’s not the point right now. Stop cutting me off, I can barely concentrate as it is.”

“Sorry. Go on, please.”

“Okay, so, as I was saying, after long hours of burying myself in the history of art, which by the way was way more interesting than I thought it’d be, I get why you choose to get a degree in Art. Well, after all that, I started to think about...no, not think. Thinking isn’t the right word here. I started _wanting_ to try something new, with you, with the way we work.”

“Which is...?” Derek asked. He was just a tiny bit scared of what Stiles’ brain had come up with, not that he would admit it even under torture or the threat of wolfsbane injection.

“I want us to do a shoot together.” Stiles blurted suddenly.

“Together...?” Derek repeated, his brain already picturing images of a...certain nature.

“Yes, together. As in you and me in front of the camera. I know you can play with timers and things like that, I looked into it.”

“Of course, you did.” Derek said under his breath. God, he really didn’t like this idea, but he also knew he was incapable of saying no to Stiles when his boyfriend was agitated and nervous. Plus, _Stiles was_ _having_ _a good day_ , there was _**no** _ way Derek would be cruel enough to crush his wishes . But at the same time, _God!_ , he would never be strong enough to not jump Stiles’ bones during the shoot.

“So..?” He heard Stiles asking, cutting into the stream of his thoughts.

 

Lifting his gaze, Derek was greeted by the sight of his very nervous boyfriend biting on his right thumb worryingly.

“Okay. Yes, I’ll do it, even though I hate having my picture taken, and I’m gonna regret this when I have you naked against me. But, okay, let’s do this.”

 _“ THANK YOU!!! ”_ Stiles cried, jumping on Derek like a monkey. The man shivered when he felt the hot caress of Stiles’ breath on his neck.

By reflex, Derek linked his arms around Stiles’ hips, his left hand finding its way under the brunet’s butt to secure him in place against Derek’s body.

“Okay. If we’re gonna do this, I’m gonna need you to help me set everything up.”

“Okay, what do I do?”

“Well to start you’re gonna learn how to set timers and measure the light, then you’ll stand in the middle of the shooting area while I set up all the cameras and set the _‘_ _succession take’_ in place.”

“Okay.” Stiles said smiling, the light shining in his eyes told Derek how much this meant to him.

 

For a little over half an hour they worked at setting everything in place, going from setting up the cameras and directing the light projectors, to measuring the light intensity and Derek setting his cameras to work in sync with his computer, to finally placing furniture in the shooting area. Stiles had explained the vision he’d had of an intimate kind of scene of two people, lovers, being caught in the intimacy of their home. So they set up a couch, lamps on each side of it, throw pillows and a coffee table with magazines on it. Derek loved the final looked of it. When everything was where they liked it, they both went to undress in the bathroom, Stiles sending waves of mixed feelings towards Derek. The man’s inner wolf was going nuts with the smell of Stiles, a mix of excitement, timidity, a bit of fear, a lot of arousal and a good amount of nervousness.

 

“Hey...” Derek whispered, coming closer to Stiles. The teenager shivered violently when he felt Derek’s chest brush softly against his bare back. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t feel comfortable with it.”

 

Stiles’ breath shook when he released it. Sometimes, like now, he still couldn’t believe his luck. Still couldn’t believe such a man was his. It was an overwhelming thought. He met Derek’s eyes in the mirror and all he could read in them was understanding and... _**love** _ . Pure, undeniable love. And for once he didn’t feel  that little bit of fear at  the force of that gaze. Breathing in deeply, he closed his eyes a moment and turned around, his body mostly touching Derek’s but part of them  still  inches apart. When he opened his eyes he met Derek’s instantly, it took his breath away. At a loss for words, Stiles thought he could do the talking with his body for once, stepping closer he pressed himself against Derek. God, this was... _Indescribable!_ No words would ever be strong enough to describe how perfect he felt when their skin finally touched, when his body molded against Derek’s, every hollow and plane of his filling to perfection the hollows and planes of Derek’s, and suddenly he felt his fear vanish, leaving behind only desire and want.

 

“No...” He whispered a breath away from Derek’s lips. “I want to do this!”

 

The next thing Stiles registered, they were kissing, his arms locked behind Derek’s neck, the mans hands sliding against his hips and holding him closer to his naked body.

Stiles hadn’t thought the first time they’d find themselves naked together would be in such a... _context._ But somehow, he wasn’t surprised and kind of liked the idea. After all, photography was a big part of them, it was that very special language that had allowed them to tell the other what they felt, what they were, to tell the other how much they meant to each other. It was what had brought them together.

“God, Stiles...you feel so fucking good against me!” Derek murmured against his lips, sounding wrecked like Stiles had never heard him before.

“Derek...” He moaned, when the man lifted him up. Stiles crossed his legs around Derek’s waist by reflex, as the man moved them out of the bathroom and over to the couch in the middle of the shooting area. He groped blindly until he found the remote waiting on the couch and pressed start, setting off the cameras. The characteristic  _‘_ __click’_   _they made resonated in the studio as they started to capture picture after picture of them kissing, touching, caressing each other, breathing against the others mouth, looking at each other, losing their minds together, learning something new about the both of them. A new intimacy created between them.

 

First, they laid against each other with Derek on top of Stiles; then with Derek laying against Stiles’ arched back, the mans mouth kissing his left shoulder; then, somehow they were on their knees together, Stiles supporting himself with his left hand on the couches armrest, while one of Derek’s knees was pushed between his, the man’s left hand gripping gently at Stiles’ hip, and nibbling at his ear. Stiles looked lost as he bared his neck to Derek’s teeth, his mouth slightly open on a silent gasp. Then, they changed position again, this time each sitting at one end of the couch, looking at the other with want, desire palpable in the room but also in the photographs being taken. Only their feet were touching, Stiles’ right one coming to meet Derek’s left one on the floor and Derek’s right one playing with Stiles’ left one on the couch.

After they caught their breath, Derek kept his sitting position against the armrest while Stiles crawled towards him on his hands and knees, his face a few inches from Derek’s tilted one, their gazes burning deep into each others eyes.

They changed position again, Stiles going to sit on his part of the couch, a gap between them. Derek’s legs were slightly parted, his left hand hanging loosely between them covering his sex. Stiles, on his side, had his left leg folded against his chest, his foot resting on the soft fabric of the black couch, the curve was perfect to cover himself. Both had their faces turned to the opposite side of them, not looking at each other, their hands meeting in the middle of the couch, their fingers entwined together.

They kept moving, changing, finding new positions, apart, closely or against each other. Making the tension, the desire, the want build slowly, their bodies reacting visibly.

Stiles shook in Derek’s arms, he felt connected to the man like never before and every time Derek looked deep into his eyes, Stiles felt like he was drunk, his head dizzy and his body both light and heavy at the same time. He didn’t fight it when after what felt like hours, Derek’s hands started caressing him, touching him more intimately, while their mouths met. Stiles didn’t try to contain his moans, it was pointless anyway.

 

“Oh, baby...” Derek panted in his ear, his hand slowly sliding down Stiles’ back, then gently tracing the curve of his butt cheeks. “You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

“Mm...Derek!!” Stiles cried softly on a moan, when he felt Derek’s tongue on the skin behind his ear. Tightening his grip on the man's hair he whispered softly;

“Please...please, I can’t wait anymore. I want you, Derek. I want it so much it hurts. Please?”

“What, baby?”

“I want... Make me yours tonight. I can’t wait one more day. I need it. I need you, so much, Derek.”

“Tonight. Yeah, okay, tonight” Derek answered, his voice dry with desire and emotion. He caressed Stiles’ cheeks, his eyes not leaving the whiskey ones facing him as he said softly, “Tonight, you’ll be mine!"

Stiles sealed the deal by kissing Derek hungrily, like he’d never kissed the man before, warmed by the idea that tonight the last thing that was still keeping them at distance would disappear and they would finally be linked body and soul.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Any thoughts on what you just read????  
> Do tell me in a comment, below.  
> Until next time guys;  
> xoxo  
> Sin.


	24. First time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  **OH MY GOD** I'm so sorry everyone for the HUGE delay, life was a bitch for me and my beta. But thank god my darling sweetie, Bastian, offered to help me and is now beta-ing for me, hence me posting today.  
>  I hope this chapter will be worth the wait and ya'll appreciate Bastian's amazing work.
> 
> Enjoy;  
> xoxo
> 
> **WARNING: NSFW in this chapter.**

 

It's a low growl from Stiles' stomach that puts an end to the shoot and stops Derek in his attack of the teenagers belly, the shoot having tuned into a make-out session for the past thirty minutes anyway.

"Sorry." Stiles muttered, his face reddening with embarrassment. Talk about a graceful way to end a very heated make-out session with your boyfriend.

Derek chuckled and laid flat on Stiles' body. He couldn't blame his teenage boyfriend, though. It was way past noon, almost reaching the end of the afternoon to be exact, and they hadn't eaten anything at all so far all day.

 

Stiles kept silent, feeling a bit shy all of a sudden. On top of being terribly sore, he was starving, and to add to everything he was already feeling, he was completely overwhelmed to the thought of losing his virginity later that night.

"Don't apologize, you must be starving. Why don't you of go put something on while I call that Chinese restaurant you love so much. And after that..."

"After that...?" Stiles whispered back.

"After that I'll give you a head to toe massage cause I can feel you're sore after today's shoot."

"Did I ever tell you that you're the best boyfriend, like...ever?!"

"Yeah, once or twice, but it's always good to hear." Derek answered, smiling.

Stiles managed to untangle himself from under Derek's body then headed for the bathroom to put something on.

 

He could hear Derek on the phone, ordering exactly what he was in the mood for tonight. It was awesome to have a boyfriend who knew him so well, and who enjoyed taking care of him so much. Stiles slipped on Derek's warm dark blue bathrobe and he came back into the room just as Derek was hanging up the phone. The man told him to go ahead downstairs while he took care of turning off all the lights in the studio and putting the furniture back in place. When Derek joined him downstairs, Stiles was comfortably set on the couch.

“So... Want that massage I promised you?” Derek asked gently. Stiles smiled, of course he wanted a massage.

“ _God,_ _**yes** _!” He exclaimed, going to lie on the bed, losing the bathrobe on the way.

Derek chuckled, he loved Stiles enthusiasm. It had become something they do, after a very long photo shoot like today, Derek could smell how tense and painful Stiles' body was and so he had took the habit of massaging the pain away. During those peaceful minutes Stiles would forget everything else and it meant the world to Derek to see his boyfriend able to breathe freely again if only for a short while. It was so worth it.

 

Going into the downstairs bathroom, Derek came back with massage oil, the one Stiles preferred that smell of monoï, _(something Cora had left behind, and no it didn't_ _matter_ _if it was a girly smell)_ , and a beach towel. Warming the oil between his hands, Derek settled on the bed next to Stiles and started massaging Stiles' feet, that part being the most tricky one, what with the Stiles being very ticklish there.

“Dude, why always the feet?!” Stiles said in a small laugh.

“Didn't I say  _'head to toe'_ massage.” Derek answered, amused.

“Oh yes, you did say that.” Stiles said, giggling.

Taking pity of his boyfriend, Derek then moved on from the sensitive feet to Stiles' bony ankles, he maybe wouldn't say that out loud but Stiles ankles made him shiver deliciously every time he saw them or could touch them like this, so intimately. Then, he slowly went up Stiles' calves, tearing out satisfied sound from the brunet. Taking his time to work on every nerve ending and lean muscles, Derek made his way up Stiles' body with patience and care. Stiles’ satisfied puff of breath transformed into happy little moans when Derek started working on his back, and the man had to struggle a lot cause those sounds were really having an effect on him.

“Oh yeah, that feels good.” Stiles groaned, when Derek's hand worked on a particular point of his back and a little _'pop'_ resonated, sign that one of the young man's vertebra had took its natural place on Stiles' spine. “I'm like in heaven right now, no kidding!” Stiles whispered, when Derek's hands found his shoulders to work on.

Derek was sure if that Stiles had had the capacity to purr like a cat he would have been purring by then, cause he was clearly really enjoying the massage. Derek wouldn't complain though, he wanted his lover to feel the most comfortable and satisfied possible tonight.

“I think I don't have to play at the lottery anymore. Cause I won the fucking jackpot with you!” Stiles then said, and okay part of Derek was human too, so it wasn't really surprising when the man gave out a small laugh.

“Oh really?!” He asked, amused.

“ _Hale_ , yeah!” Stiles answered, again abusing of Derek's last name.

It took a long moment before Derek finally ended the massage by Stiles' long fingers. He then received a long kiss as a thank you. Putting on the bathrobe, Stiles then went back to sit on the couch, while Derek went to put the oil and towel in the bathroom. Stiles took hold of the TV remote to choose something to watch, and a little moment later, Derek joined him and they settled comfortably on the couch as Stiles flipped through the things on Derek's PVR, looking for something to watch.

 

“What do you wanna watch?” Stiles asked, still going through the list on the PVR, for once he was completely unable to make a choice, which was rare for him, after all he was king of PVR.

“Um... There's that new show that I recorded for you, I thought you might like it and we could discover it together. I think now is the perfect time for it, don't you think?!” Derek answered, a bit absentmindedly, busy as he was running his nose in his boyfriend's hair.

“You recorded a whole TV show for me?” Stiles exclaimed incredulously. Derek never ceased to surprise him. Damn, but he really had hit the jackpot the day he fell for the man.

“Well, yeah... I saw the promo and I don't know, I just thought this would be something you would be into.” Derek answered, looking a bit shy with his blushing ears. Stiles found him very cute at that very moment.

“Ok. What's the show about, then?” The young man asked, really interested to know what it was all about for Derek to just record it for him.

“It's about aliens. There's this ship that fell on earth near Baton Rouge, and the Atrians... I think, now lives amongst humans. It's like in the future. It seemed really interesting, and I know you love sci-fi things, so...” Derek explained. He felt nervous under Stiles intense gaze.

“You said _'aliens'_... Oh, we're so watching it, like NOW!” Stiles exclaimed, suddenly very excited. His mind had registered _aliens-ship-amongst humans_ and _sci-fi_. To be honest he had been convinced at _aliens_ only. He was ready to hit play, having found the files on the sci-fi list of the PVR, Derek was even a neat freak with his recordings, when the doorbell rang. “Oh bummer, just when I was getting comfy here!”

Derek chuckled, amused by Stiles excitation. Sometimes the young man was such a kid. But then again, that was what he loved in his personality, he didn't really mind.

“Don't move, I'm going to get that, it's our food.”

“You're the best!” Stiles said, grinning.

 

Derek shook his head and went to get the door. A few minutes later he came back to set food, drinks and napkins on the coffee table.

“Eating out of the boxes?” Stiles noted.

“I can get plates if you prefer.” Derek said, meeting Stiles' gaze. The teen shook his head slowly, and smiling, answered;

“No. No, it's perfect like that. Chinese food, sci-fi and you, this is just... yeah, perfect!”

“Well, I want it to be. It's all about you tonight. I want you to remember this as the perfect first time.”

“Derek...” Stiles whispered, his heart suddenly beating faster. He felt blessed, loved and like the luckiest man tonight, and all of that because of that man in front of him.

 

Derek kept silent, pushed the table a bit closer to the couch then went to sit back behind Stiles, the young man settled down again, with a small contented sigh, picking up two boxes, Derek gave Stiles the one holding the egg rolls he knew were the teen's favorite. Smiling thankfully, Stiles hit play and they both started watching the show in peaceful silence. Stiles couldn't help comment a few times during the first episode, though:

“Awww... He's so cute!” He exclaimed, when six year old Emery found six year old Roman hiding in the shed behind her house. Then: “ _Nooo_... I can't believe that asshole just shot a child.”

 

Derek just kept enjoying the show, that, indeed, was looking to be very good and listening to his boyfriend rant or coo every now and then, which brought a tender smile to his lips every time Stiles did so. He felt like tonight was really a perfect night to be together. After the first six minutes of the show, Stiles suddenly put it on _**'pause**_ ', then turned around to kiss Derek quickly on the lips and stated;

“Thank you. I'm really loving this show.” Then he was facing the flatscreen again and pushing  _ **'play'**_. “ _Fernando or Tristan_ , with an accent and abs! Oh I'm already loving that Julia girl. Thank god she didn't say Miguel, cause I'm so keeping him!” Stiles commented again, a few minutes later. Derek smiled, amused by the young man. Stretching his arms, he took advantage of Stiles' attention being fully on the TV to steal one of his egg rolls.

 

“ _ **HEY!** _ That's my egg roll.” Stiles suddenly exclaimed, turning around, quick as light. Derek just smirked and then said, after swallowing:

“Didn't see your name on it.”

“Oh, you did not...” Stiles said, gobsmacked.

“I think I just did.” Derek answered, joking.

Stiles decided to avenge his lost egg roll by stealing some of the pork in Derek's box of _loh mein_.

“There. Now, we're even.” He pointed, sticking his tongue out. Derek answered by kissing him, which made Stiles melt against the man hard chest. Thank god for the _**'pause'** _ mode on the PVR, Stiles thought again. A few minute of bliss later, they parted and Stiles was back to being engrossed in the show, picking through the other boxes of food on the table at the same time. At some point, they just started passing boxes back and forth between them absentmindedly, lost as they were in the episode playing on screen, Stiles commenting now and then:

 

_“Of course her dad is an SEU agent now. That sucks!”_

_“Dude, the markings on their skin looks so cool. I wanna meet an Atrian too.”_

_“Oh my god, those humans outside the school are_ _**nuts**_ _.”_

_“Hey, that Lukas kid is so cool, I like him too.”_

_“Dude, did I heard just right? One of his heart_ _**s** _ _stopped beating? As in plural... Awesome!!!”_

 

And it went on like that for awhile, until Stiles was too much into the rest of the episode to even comment out loud. Derek enjoyed his presence. Stiles felt warm and secure against him, comfortably snuggled in his arms, and Derek had to admit it felt like that's where the young man was supposed to be. By the near end of the first episode, they were both lying on the couch, Stiles still on his chest, the empty boxes of their food discarded on the table. Stiles' long fingers tracing doodles on Derek's chest, Derek's fingers tenderly laced in Stiles' hair. Soon, they were watching episode two.

 

“ _Gosh_ , Roman and Drake are so hot. Who knew aliens could be that hot, huh, not me!” Stiles suddenly said, once the first episode over.

Reacting on purely instinct, Derek heard himself say;

“ _Excuse me..._ ”

 

Stiles froze a second on his chest then lifted himself just enough so that he could take a look at Derek's face, after a moment, a knowing smile appeared on his face and stayed there as he went to lay back down on the man's chest. After what felt like eternity and completely out of the blue, Derek being so taken by the second episode he had totally forgotten his previous outburst, Stiles exclaimed good heartedly:

“You're even jealous of fictional characters! That's love I'm telling you.”

Then silence was back again, only broken by the sound of the TV.

 

“I'm calling a break.” Stiles stated right in the middle of the second episode, which was during a commercial. “Need a minute of humanity, be right back.” He said, quickly pecking Derek's lips. Then he was disappearing in the bathroom. Derek took advantage of the short break to clean the coffee table of the empty containers, then went to sit back on the couch just about at the same time as Stiles came back from the bathroom and, without a word, the teen snuggled back between Derek's parted legs, his back comfortably supported by Derek's chest and pressed _**'play'** _ to keep watching _Star Crossed_.

 

Later when the episode ended Stiles couldn't keep himself from begging for _**“Just one more episode, please?!”**_ , and of course Derek granted him his wish, after all tonight was all about Stiles needs and wants. At some point though, the man couldn't keep his hands to himself anymore and needed to touch his boyfriend, that's how his fingers found their way against the warm skin of Stiles' flat stomach and a little while later, his lips the crook of Stiles' neck. Moaning softly, Stiles still protested a bit, for having his attention disturbed from what was happening on screen.

 

“Hmmm...Der, not now.” He whispered, weakly. “Let me watch this one last ep.”

“Hn... okay.” Derek finally said, he could see how Stiles was completely taken by the aliens and humans interacting on screen. “I'm going to take a quick shower, okay, you'll tell me what happened when I'm back?”

“Okay, no prob'.” Stiles answered absently. It's only when Derek was gone and the shower started pouring, that his brain caught up on what his boyfriend had told him. And all of a sudden he was unable to concentrate on the show anymore, his mind kept going south, imagining Derek naked under the shower, his body glistening with soap. It was too much, so he paused the TV and followed the man in the bathroom as silently as possible.

Once in the bathroom, Stiles took a moment to watch Derek through the large glass protection, the shower being one of those ones built in the ground with no doors but a big glass panel to separate the shower side from the bathroom and keep water from splashing everywhere. The vision of the man before him took Stiles breath away. _**'God, he's so hot'**_ , he thought. It's with shaking fingers that Stiles took off his clothes and finally dared to go join Derek under the shower rain.

 

 

It's the hesitant touch of long fingers sliding along his skin to come hold his hips that startled Derek out of his thoughts. Then the tender kisses Stiles' lips left on his shoulder blades and the back of his neck. He shivered violently when Stiles finally closed the gap between them and pressed his naked front against Derek's naked body.

Derek had to keep his breathing under control when Stiles started moving his hands along his wet skin, first they stayed safely on his stomach, the long fingers reaching the peak of his waistband, then slowly, like if Stiles was a bit afraid of his own boldness, his hands wandered higher, caressing Derek's abs, then higher to his chest, where Stiles right hand stilled over Derek's heart, and for a second the young man stood there unmoving, feeling, _living_ the beat of that heart under his palm. A few minutes later, Stiles' fingers went to caress Derek nipples, slowly, tenderly, taking his time to discover Derek's body with his fingers only.

His breath was like stuck in his throat, but Derek tried to resist the urge of turning around and just claim Stiles against the stone wall. No, that wasn't him and it surely wouldn't be like that that he'd make Stiles his.

 

"Derek." Stiles whispered shakily in the shell of Derek's right ear. His excitement, his want, and his fear resonating in his voice, making it so easy to be heard by Derek. Just as easily as he could smell those feelings surrounding the young man. Slowly, he turned around into Stiles' arms, those going quickly to lock themselves around the man's shoulders.

For a moment their gazes met, Derek caressing tenderly Stiles' right cheek, the touch was so careful, so loving, that if he didn't already know. Stiles would have known just with that touch only that Derek really loved him entirely.

"Kiss me..." He whispered softly, his eyes half closed and his face turned towards the man.

Derek didn't need to be asked twice and bent his head a little to claim Stiles' soft lips between his.

 

At first, the kiss was almost prude, just a feathery touch, then it intensified with the heat rising inside of them, Derek kissing Stiles deeper. Their tongues met in a very old dance, caressing each other sensually as they moved together. Stiles grabbed Derek's hair between shaking fingers, needing something concrete to anchor himself to, he pressed his body even closer to Derek's and couldn't contained a gasp from escaping his lips when his sex came in contact with Derek's. The passion that washed over him was so devastating, making him shake like never before in Derek's arms.

 

"Derek..." He whispered shakily into the man’s mouth. The large and strong hands of his lover moving over his skin, sliding along his back, softly caressing his butt cheeks, they stopped under those, as Derek took hold of Stiles thighs and lifted him up like he weighted nothing. It's by instinct only that Stiles crossed his legs around Derek's waist, he shivered violently when his back came in contact with the cold stone of the shower wall behind him. But he didn't mind, because it was so good, so intimately perfect.

 

Derek started kissing his face, his mouth moving to Stiles' ear, where he took the young man's earlobe between his teeth, biting the soft flesh lightly. Stiles shivered from head to toe, and moaned loudly, _god,_ this was so good and he had never thought that would turn him on so much, who knew his earlobes were such a sensible post? Not him. Derek's mouth choose to give his ear a bit of relief and continued its way down Stiles' neck, making him shook violently the closer the man’s mouth neared the crook of his neck, to that very special spot between neck and shoulder that Derek started biting, licking, sucking hungrily. It would leave a mark Stiles thought happily, the idea of being marked so obviously for people to know he belonged to someone, made him even hotter than he already was.

 

Stiles already was so hard at that point, he didn't thought he could get any harder than this but when Derek's captured one his nipples between his lips, he was suddenly proven wrong as he felt his dick growing even more, hardening dangerously against Derek's stomach. God, he was so hot, the water wasn't even helping cool him off a little bit now. Moaning freely, he let his head fall backwards against the wall as Derek was now moving to take his other nipple in his mouth, playing with his tongue against it at first, then sucking on it slowly before giving it small bites in between licks and sucking. Stiles started to feel dangerously close to cuming and Derek hadn't even touched him there yet. The man might have read his thoughts because the next thing Stiles knew he was being kissed, a warm tongue invading his mouth, while Derek's fingers were caressing his cock, then his balls to finally come wrap themselves around his length, next second Derek started a slow motion of his wrist masturbating Stiles.

 

" _Oh my god,_ Der..." Stiles moaned between his lips, was he in heaven already? He felt like he was.

"Do you like it?" Derek asked him softly, his lips moving along Stiles' throat.

That Derek would go and ask him that, caring enough to mind if Stiles liked it or not, moved Stiles beyond words.

"Y-yeah, I like it... I like it very much. God, it feels _so good_ , Derek!" He replied shakily, as Derek increased the speed of his hand on his dick. Opening his eyes, Stiles bent his head back down and went for Derek's mouth, the kiss they shared this time was nothing like the previous, it was way more intense, deeper, filled with hot passion as they ate each other's mouth with a new found hunger.

"Fuck baby you feel so good." Derek said in a broken sound in between kisses. Stiles could only just moan as an answer when he felt Derek's left hand fingers brush the crack of his ass as the man shifted to get a better grip on his body. Suddenly, this was all Stiles could think about, those fingers going further and caressing his asshole to tease it, then penetrate him slowly finger by finger.

 

It's that thought and the images it brought behind his closed lids mixed with Derek's fist pumping his cock now more quickly that lead him to his orgasm. His hold tightened around Derek's shoulders, the fingers of his right hand tugging harder on the man's hair and then everything went white behind his closed eyes as he came crying Derek's name loudly.

 

"I'm-I'm gonna... _**Derek!** _ " The rest of his words died in a very long moan. It took him a moment to be able to come back down from his climax. _God_ , he had never felt as good as he felt at that very moment. Never before had anyone touched him the way Derek just did, or touched him at all really, but never in his wildest dreams had he imagine it would be that good, that... he had no word to describe how he really felt deep down, everything was a very pleasant blur of pleasure, satisfaction, love, and other things he couldn't even name because he felt like his brain had took the nearest exit.

 

Stiles felt more than he registered, Derek searching for his mouth and kissing him the next instant, making a small noise of happiness in the back of his throat, Stiles kissed back the man, sensually, his hands roaming over the warm skin of Derek's back, slowly going down to reach the man's perfect ass. Stiles' toes curled, it was so good, felt like heaven to finally be able to touch Derek this way, without holding back or fearing this was going too far, and that feeling of belonging that kept growing in his guts with every new touch of the man, every new kiss, like if their bodies were slowly melting together to become one, what would it feel like when Derek would finally be bury deep inside of him? Stiles wondered, he was already bordering crazy as it was now, but it was a good, a delicious crazy. A crazy that allowed him being more daring and let his right hand slide between their bodies to reach for Derek's hard cock. Meeting Derek eyes, he tried to ask him silently if this was okay.

 

“You don't have to, you know.” Derek whispered, caressing his cheek tenderly, like he always used to when it came to Stiles.

“Why?” Stiles asked, more confused than hurt by the man's words.

“Because tonight is all about you, just you. I can wait for later.” Derek admitted then.

 

Stiles wanted to argue that he was a big boy and that's what he wanted, but at the same time he felt just a bit insecure, what if he did something wrong? Or what if he was bad at it? All he wanted was for this night to keep going as perfectly as it had started.

 

“Don't overthink it, it's okay, we've got all night. Come on let's wash and then go finish that episode.” Derek said lowly, kissing him tenderly. Stiles untangled his legs from the man's hips, and Derek put him back down. His legs felt a little like jelly but Stiles managed to keep standing without falling, which was a bit of a miracle. He let Derek take care of him, washing his back, his hair, every part of Stiles' body he wanted to touch, then Derek let him do the same to him. It was perfect, one more bonding moment, both intense and tender. Next thing, Stiles was being wrapped in the fluffiest warm towel ever, which made him sigh with pleasure. God, he really felt like being the most precious thing right now, and he didn't really knew if that was annoying or not, he wasn't a princess, but at the same time, damn if he cared, looking at the happiness written on Derek's face as he took care of him, it was worth being treated like a princess. After all, this was his boyfriend, werewolf boyfriend, former alpha and he had always knew Derek's nature made him be the one that always cared and worried for other people well being instead of his. That's what pushed him towards the man, opening his arms, he wrapped the towel, which was big enough for the both of them, around their bodies.

“Come here. Hmm... that's more like it. Now, can I have a kiss?” He asked a bit mischievous. Derek rolled his eyes, really not impressed at all, but still granted him his wish nevertheless. “Hmmm...” He moaned slowly. _Fuck_ , this was the best.

“You're so enjoying this, aren't you.” Derek noted once they broke the kiss. Stiles couldn't help smiling like a kid while nodding.

“What? You treating me like a princess... Oh _Hale_ , yes, baby!”

“Stop abusing my last name.”

“Yeah, you can always wish, that was such a gift. Now, can I borrow some clothes, we have an episode to finish watching.”

“You love it, don't you...” Derek pointed gently, running a smaller towel over Stiles' wet hair.

“What?” Stiles asked, eyes closed and enjoying the sort of massage his scalp was receiving.

“Wearing my clothes. You always do when you come over.”

“Oh that... yeah, I can't really explain it. I just love having your scent all over me, I don't know why, it's a bit weird, isn't it?”

“No, not really, it's just..I don't know.” Derek said.

“What? Werewolfy?” Stiles asked, curious.

“Yeah...but not only. It's a thing mates usually do, and even though I know you're mine, I still haven't claimed you as such, but you're already showing all those signs and it's just...I don't know. I just can stop loving it, and I think it's really hot when you're wearing my clothes, anyway.”

“Oh really...It makes you hot, seeing me in your sweat pants or underwear! Hmm...I really like the sound of that.”

“Of course, you do. Now, come on.” Derek said turning around to go fetch some underwear and a shirt in the one of the drawers in the cupboard near the radiator between the sink and bathroom door. He took out a t-shirt and sweat pants for Stiles as well. The teen came to take the clothes and got dress while Derek hanged their towels on the radiator. It was a very domestic scene, but neither said anything, secretly loving the feel of it all.

 

They went to settle back on the couch, Derek's back resting against a big fluffy pillow, tucked between his back and the couch's armrest, Stiles safely pressed against his chest, sitting at his favorite place, between Derek's legs. It had quickly become a habit for the young man, after all what better way to watch TV than with the strong arms of your very warm werewolf boyfriend around you.

The rest of _Star Crossed_ third episode played on but it's hardly if they noticed what was happening on screen. No, what was happening between them at that moment was way more important, like Derek's fingers tracing patterns on Stiles' stomach or the man taking advantage of Stiles' head resting against his shoulder, baring his pale neck just enough for Derek to be able to bend his head and start kissing the skin, going slowly up towards Stiles' ear where he ran his lips slowly along the sensitive skin, eliciting little moans from his boyfriend.

Stiles' hand disappeared under the fabric of the T-shirt he's wearing, his fingers locking with Derek's over his skin. His left hand rested gently on his stomach while his right hand slowly followed Derek's going upwards, right towards his sensitive nipples, it felt so good and it made him feel sowarm and love, that Stiles felt like his was losing his mind bit by bit, and Derek's mouth on his neck, the man's warm tongue caressing his skin sensually, it was so overwhelming but he didn't want it to stop, wanted this to keep on forever.

His breathing changed as Derek kisses on his skin went from simple kisses to a mix of small bites and licks, and when that hot mouth found that special little spot separating his neck and shoulder, Stiles was literally panting, goosebumps running over his entire body, his toes curling because of the small waves of pleasure rolling through his veins. This was so good, so perfect but he suddenly wanted more, wanted to be an active part of the game, he wanted to please Derek too, to hear him groan and pant against his mouth, see the wild look in his eyes when the man slowly lost all self-control and the wolf took over.

Blindly muting the television, Stiles turned around straddling Derek's laps, his knees trapping the man hips in a tight grip. It was still so surprising for Stiles how good it felt and how perfectly their bodies fitted against each other, like as if they were made for the each other. Moving his arms around Derek's neck, Stiles shivered when the man's hands slid along his skin, his fingers tracing patterns along Stiles' back, his hips started moving slowly against Derek's, making them both pant a little more. Derek bit on his bottom, his eyes getting darker, Stiles felt the burning fire of want burst in him, its flames lapping at him with vigor, it was so much more consuming than ever now, a passion he never thought he could ever express but there it was, and all that passion was turned towards Derek, was because of Derek alone, and that made Stiles feel dizzy, like drunk on love, a love for Derek that still scared him as it was so big, so... _devastating!_

 

Following his instinct, Stiles pressed his parted lips against Derek's, panting hotly into the man's mouth, he wanted him so bad, so bad it almost hurt, and when Derek's tongue came out of his mouth to take possession of Stiles', it's like the young man could only surrender to him, like he was completely losing his head with the heated kiss, never before did Derek kissed him that way and... _Oh my god_ , but he didn't know how much he had been waiting for this. Tightening his arms around Derek's neck, his hands rested on top of the man’s head, his shaking fingers all tangle up in the short brown strands of hair he loved so much, Derek's hands left his hips to grab on his ass, which tore a low moan out of his mouth, Derek grabbing his ass was seriously becoming a big turn on. Not able to hold back anymore, Stiles started grinding his clothed hard on against Derek's groin, the feeling of their hard on’s rubbing against each other accentuated Stiles dizziness. Panting in between hot kisses, Stiles heard himself whispering in a low voice he didn't recognize:

 

“Derek...”

“Yeah, I know, baby. I've got you!”

“I want you...” Stiles admitted, teeth biting into his bottom lips. “God, I want you so bad it hurts!”

“Fuck...” Derek growled, feeling the last bit of his reserve completely fell apart. His wolf was going nuts inside him, knowing how close they were from finally claiming their mate, but Derek couldn't let him dictate Stiles' first time; _No_ , tonight it's all about the young man and his wolf should better get on with it, even if he himself was battling with himself to not just tear apart Stiles' clothes and fuck him senseless, here, on the couch. It's with trembling fingers that he took the shirt slowly off of Stiles' body, making the teen moan deliciously when his mouth started making its way along the dotted pale skin, _**'**_ _ **God**_ _ **, he's so beautiful, so tempting'**_ , Derek thought.

 

“Derek.” Stiles cried out, when the man’s mouth wrapped around his left nipple, a spark of pleasure going straight to his groin when Derek's tongue started sliding around the sensitive bud. “Please...” He panted; “Take me to bed, now, Derek. Please, I need you. I want you.”

Derek couldn't resist such plea, and in a swift movement of his hips, his arm securely wrapped around Stiles, he got up from the couch, holding Stiles against him and made his way to the bed, kissing Stiles' sexy mouth thirstily. Next thing, he laid Stiles down on the bed, his body pressed against the teens, Stiles legs parted on each side of his hips. Their tongues battling against each other, their breaths so loud it was like the sound was reverberating through the entire loft.

 

“Derek.” Stiles said shakily, as the man slowly kissed his way down his body, taking his time on Stiles' torso, playing hungrily with the very sensitive nipples, then even more lower, following the trail to the teens navel, then it was just the tip of his nose tracing his happy trail, and Stiles could feel Derek breath in his scent there, like if the scent was stronger there, and it made him even hotter than he already was. Derek then kissed his lower abdomen lovingly, going from one hip to the other and coming back to the center to play with his tongue on the soft skin, Stiles didn't knew he would be so reactive there. He then felt Derek's finger grab the elastic band of the sweat pants he was wearing, and slowing took it down on his thighs, then the clothe was completely gone and Derek was there, standing on his knees, between Stiles' parted legs looking at him with such hunger, like Stiles was the most beautiful thing he ever saw. Blushing violently, Stiles couldn't help but hide his face between his hands, suddenly how he felt was way too much, how Derek looked at him, how he was so conscious of his body in that very moment and his old demons were right there, snickering in his ears, bringing back his insecurities with them.

“Hey...” Derek whispered, bending over to take Stiles' hands softly in his own, taking them off of the young man's face. Stiles tried to avoid the piercing green eyes looking at him, only him. “Look at me.” Derek said, his tone a bit commanding. Stiles shivered and felt oblige to obey the demand, it's like Derek hypnotized him and there's nothing he could do to break free from his trance.

“Don't hide from me. You're beautiful, Stiles. The most beautiful person I ever led eyes on, don't not let your old demons ruin this moment, okay?!” Derek told him, and it's so tender, so gentle, the real Derek stripping naked for him and letting him see who he really was, that Stiles felt his heart ached, a rush of tears trying to overtake him, but he couldn’t let them win. Meeting Derek's gaze, he felt something shiver, swell and explode inside of him, he was so in love with this man, and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to ever live without him after tonight. And if that thought would have scared him a few months back, now it's like it's only what matters anymore, and just like that he couldn't hold back those three words escaping his lips;

“I love you”

Derek then kissed him like he wanted to suck in Stiles' soul, and the craziest thing is Stiles let him.

“I love you so much!” Derek whispered back, caressing his cheek, making Stiles feel good and loved like no one had ever been able to make him feel before.

 

Derek then went back down on his body again, his mouth tracing an invisible burning path on his skin and Stiles completely lost his ground then, as he felt the first licks of Derek's tongue on his cock. Panting, his hands grabbed the sides of the pillow his head was resting on and when Derek's mouth closes around the head of his cock it's like he was suddenly wrapped in an endless free fall that Derek commanded with the magic held in his mouth. The man’s tongue played with his foreskin baring the head of his penis gently, it was so good, it made Stiles feel so many things at the same time, he couldn't help but moan shamelessly. When Derek's tongue played on the slit of his cock with his tongue, Stiles was left keening, he wanted for the man to take him in completely and suck on his dick, he wanted to feel him all around him, all warm and wet and feel like he was losing his mind. And Derek must have been a mind reader because the next thing Stiles knew, Derek was taking him in completely and sucking him like this was something the man had been dying to do for a very long time now, and there might have been some truth to that.

 

“ _Mmm...Der...Oh god, it..._ ” Stiles moaned, his hold on the pillow tightening, “It feels so...good...” He never thought receiving a blow job would be that great and he was glad he waited for the right person to come in his life, someone with experience to take him to the peak of pleasure like Derek was doing now.

 

Derek groaned around his cock making Stiles see stars behind his closed lids, the vibration around his dick being like... It was indescribable, and he surely lost his words right in Derek's mouth. Derek's tongue was moving on his length, while the man relaxed his throat just enough to then deep throat Stiles, and it was suddenly way fucking too much. Too good. Too hot. Too everything and Stiles found himself arching his back dangerously, his hips moving, trying to imitate Derek's tongue movements, or whatever and when Derek's strong hands grabbed his hips to hold him still against the mattress, Stiles couldn't help but whine loudly, he was so fucking close to coming, that he tried to warn Derek pitifully, but it was too much, nearly too late and he felt like the fire inside of him was gonna burst out of his skin and put the bed on fire.

 

“Der...Derek, I-I'm...I'm gonna... _**Oh fuck...** _ ” Stiles stuttered when Derek started sucking him more deeply, his right hand reaching up on Stiles' chest to play with the sensitive nipples, Stiles couldn't hold on anymore and let himself completely drown in the firework of pleasure devastating him. He came and came into Derek's mouth, and the man took it all in, swallowing his come like it was the best thing ever, and Stiles knew that he was definitely gone for that man.

He didn't even knew when Derek let his cock go, or when the man came to lay down next to him or when he started caressing his stomach. _No. Nothing. NADA. Zilch._ All Stiles was aware of after that was a big fucking... _BLANK!_ It's only much, much later that he started to resurface the world of the living and _**'hmm-ed'**_ , contented, when Derek ran his nose against his cheek gently.

 

“Welcome back.” He heard him say softly, his lips soft on Stiles' skin, kissing every moles of his left cheek. “Are you feeling okay?” Derek asked him, sounding concerned.

“I-I'm more than okay.” Stiles admitted. “This was... WOW!”

“Wow, huh?” Derek chuckled.

“Yeah, definitely, WOW! Like died and went to fucking heaven, WOW.” Stiles repeated, turning his head to look into Derek's eyes, he felt so peaceful now, so comfortable, it was like his fears had disappeared while Derek was sucking him, and it was... Who cared, really! He felt incredible and that was what was the most important right now. Lying on his side, his leg covering Derek's left one, he went for the man’s mouth and sighed happily when Derek returned his kiss the next instant.

 

Kissing Derek was something Stiles loved, more than a lot of things. If he could he would have been kissing the man endlessly, because it was really the best. The way Derek held him, responded to him, to his touch. The way their breaths mixed together, or their heartbeats seemed to beat at the same rhythm, it made kissing the more delicious. And now that Stiles was able, allowed, to touch Derek like this, without restraint or clothes in the way... yeah, it was really one of his favorite things to do. Somehow, though, a small part of him was still incredulous, still amazed that Derek was his, body and soul and it was something Stiles had a bit of difficulty to fully grasp.

Happily, Stiles let his hand discover Derek's body, in a way he never dared to until now, but now felt different. Now, he felt like something had been granted to him tonight, like Derek had given him access to something very precious and this was something Stiles did not wanted to waste.

 

It's naturally, as they were kissing that Stiles found himself lying on his back once again, Derek's body covering his own and he loved feeling the weight of the man like this on him, it was like in that way Derek anchored him to himself and Stiles had no words to describe how right it made him feel. His hands roamed over Derek's back, slowly, making their way down to the hem of the t-shirt Derek was still wearing. Stiles wanted, needed to feel the man’s skin under his fingertips, against his naked skin, all over him, so he grabbed the bottom of the shirt and pulled up to take it off of Derek, who eagerly went with the movement and let Stiles undress him. When their chests pressed together, Stiles barely recognized the delighted sound that came out of his mouth, a sound that repeated as their skin rubbed together. Derek was still wearing his boxers, his hips moving languorously against Stiles', the young man meeting each thrust Derek made. Derek's mouth then found its way to Stiles' neck once again, and Stiles knew then that the man must have had some kind of fetish for his neck or it was just part of being a born werewolf, maybe.

 

“You have no idea...how much I wanna make you mine, right now!” Derek whispered in his ear, making Stiles' skin shiver and toes curl.

“Not really, but I can feel it.” Stiles whispered back, in the shell of the man’s ear, and it felt just right to be able to speak with confidence of these things with Derek. Rolling his hips against Derek's he was suddenly annoyed by the fabric of the man’s underwear still keeping them apart.

“Oh, yeah?” Derek asked him, teasing, trusting his hip a bit harder against Stiles' cock starting to get hard again.

“Yeah, but... Take these off!” He told the man, his right hand going under the band of the underwear and finding Derek's butt cheek, very interesting.

“I think you should help me out with those.” Derek said against his mouth moving his hips slowly, tempting, and he knew it. Stiles couldn't be bothered to be told twice and didn't wasted time pulling on the fabric to get rid of the annoying article of clothing. The next thing, Derek had taken his boxers off and was standing in front of him: naked, his cock hard and so beautiful Stiles felt his mouth water with want.

 

Stiles sat down, he couldn't help his hands from caressing Derek's muscular thighs. Couldn't help his mouth from going right for Derek's left hip and start scattering kisses on the warm skin, going from one hip to the other, taking his time to discover Derek's form. He loved the feel of the man’s soft skin under his lips. His fingers caressed Derek's pelvic girdle, and Stiles once again could only admire how the man’s body was perfectly sculpted, perfect for him, Stiles thought. His hands then glided up on Derek's abs, his ribs, all the way up to his pecs. Stiles suddenly wanted to kiss Derek again; Standing on his knees too, he wrapped his arms around he mans neck and it's all it took for them to be kissing again, slowly. One of his hands reached behind Derek to caress his lower back till he reached his ass, and Stiles still could feel Derek's manhood jerk on his stomach and suddenly it was the only thing he could think about, how he wanted to touch it, how bad he wanted to make Derek come, see if he was able to break Derek's control just by touching him...there.

 

“Derek...” He murmured, against the man’s lips, “I wanna...” He added as his hand caressed Derek's hip, all the way to the front where it rested on his lower abdomen. Stiles met Derek's gaze, his eyes asked for permission, even though he felt a bit more confident now, he still had this weird need where he needed Derek's agreement before touching him so intimately.

 

It's without a word that Derek allowed him to touch him, guiding Stiles hand to his already leaking cock. Derek's cock felt so much more different than his own in his hand, Stiles noted. The man’s dick was heavier, thicker and also different in its shape too. It fit perfectly between his fingers, Stiles thought. He could feel the man blood pulsing through his cock and believe it or not, that sensation only turned him on like crazy. He couldn't help it when his gaze fell down and watched his fingers wrapped around it. A bit shyly he started caressing the length that was Derek's cock. He felt Derek shiver against him and it amazed him knowing he was the one responsible for it. Derek's cock was uncut just like him and Stiles didn't knew why, but he loved that they were the same in that way, it made it even more good when he saw the head of Derek's dick appear when he pull on the foreskin. A bit of pre-come was leaking from the slit of Derek's cock and Stiles suddenly wanted to have a taste of it, so he ran his thumbs into the liquid and then brought his finger to his mouth, his tongue came out to lick the slightly bitter liquid. The taste was... All he knew was he loved it, even though it was a bit strange, a bit heady, but it was Derek's taste and that made him love the taste even more. His eyes bore into Derek's then, and the man let out a low growl, his eyes flashing quickly, so quick Stiles thought it was just his imagination or excitation making him see them another color than their usual blue. The next thing Stiles was aware of, was Derek grabbing him and pushing him down on the bed, his body covering Stiles, their mouths crashing together.

 

Stiles took Derek's cock back in his hand and started jerking him slowly, tearing grunts and groan out of this mouth. Derek took a hold of his thighs and guided them around his waist so that they were open enough for the man to move between them. His hands going slowly up on Stiles' soft skin dangerously nearing the teens ass.

 

Stiles found himself panting, his gaze locked to Derek's. And just like that he could see it, Derek losing control, his inner wolf escaping from its cage. The way Derek's body tensed only told Stiles how the man was fighting with himself to not let that part of him out. But that wasn't exactly what Stiles wanted him to do.

 

"Stiles!" The man grunted, and Stiles could feel them, his claws coming out on his thighs. "I'm...you need to stop or I'll..."

"No!" He said. "Let go. Come on, Derek, let me see it."

 

He could see by the way Derek looked at him, how he clenched his teeth that Derek was still trying to hold it in. He let go of Stiles' thighs to brace himself on his arms, overlooking Stiles with his upper body. Arching his back, Stiles reached up to kiss Derek. He could feel him being close, ready to surrender and let it go, so Stiles jerked him a bit faster, his thumb caressing Derek's cock head, making the man growl when Stiles bit on his shoulder tenderly, he then found Derek's ear to whisper:

 

"Come on, Derek. Please. Let it go, let me see you. That's what I want."

Derek growled again, louder this time and Stiles met his gaze right before the man came violently in his hand. Claws out, his face shifting and his eyes...

"Derek!" He breathed out, gaping at how beautiful Derek's wolf was. Stiles kept on jerking him through his orgasm until Derek had nothing left in him to spurt out of his cock.

Derek kissed him once he snapped out of his post orgasmic trance. Claw back in and face back to normal except for his eyes. Stiles caressed his face then, drawing its contours out of the tips of his fingers. He couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

 

"Since when?" He asked, lost in the bright red eyes. So he didn't imagined it when he thought seeing Derek's eyes flash violet.

"Not long." Derek said, lying back down next to him.

Stiles was unable to keep his hands from going back to Derek's face, he was speechless really, and a lot turned on by what he was seeing and what it implied.

"I knew. I knew it wasn't gone. For me you were always the Alpha. And my gut kept telling me you being back to a beta was only temporary." Stiles confessed. He always knew in his heart that Derek was just meant to be an alpha, it was in his blood, something deep in his personality that Stiles had always been able to see clearly, even when the man doubted of his own capacity, even when he hadn't been aware of what he really was. Stiles had known. So he hadn't been at all surprise to see Derek become the alpha after killing Peter. And he was just barely surprise now, the only shock was he didn't know Derek had found that spark again.

"How?" He asked, shivering under Derek's fingers as they were caressing his spine back and forth lazily.

"That weekend I went away, it wasn't because of Cyn."

"What do you mean?"

"After you ended in the hospital, I couldn't stay there and do nothing anymore, so I started tracking Deucalion. I thought if someone could help me with how to help you it was him. I don't really trust Deaton when it comes to you or your safety." Derek admitted, Stiles laid silent listening.

"It took me a while to find him but I managed to. I needed answers to my questions so I planned that trip to Blackwoods. He lives in a cottage there, isolated in the woods. When he saw me on his doorstep he was barely surprised. He figured if I was there it was because of you, he knew you're my mate, which threw me off a bit. I asked him about the darkness, if there was something I could do to help you with it. Duke didn't know a lot about it, but he made me think of it and soon we decided to try and treat it like some form of pain, which it kind of is. He made me train then, pushed me harder and harder and he saw it, the spark, he could feel it when he open his door to me but as he was pushing me to fight back he could clearly see it still being there but it was dormant,

"For two days he made me fight him in his alpha form, telling me over and over to visual it, to reach for that spark, to visualize why I was doing all this, so I thought of you and that's how I was able to grasp it. The next thing I know, I was blocking Dukes next attack and my alpha just roared out of me, its strength gave me the force I was lacking to push back Duke. I've been training like he taught me since then. It's the first time, though, that I don't have to concentrate to take control of it. When I'm with you I feel so different, so much more guarded, aware of what I really am of how, as my mate, I have to be stronger to protect you no matter what."

 

Stiles was speechless, Derek had done all this for him. Out of love for him, his fragile human boyfriend. The love he felt at that very moment, the feelings swelling in him for Derek were so strong it ached. Sitting up, He straddled Derek's hips, his hands resting on the man’s chest.

 

"You went to see a man you hate for me." Stiles whispered, shaken. "Why didn't you just say so back then?" He asked. His fingers entwining with Derek's on his thighs.

"I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure it would work, if I was to come back and tell you I'd failed in finding a way to help you, it's... It's something I couldn't bare do to you. Make your hopes up. So I lied."

"Thank you." Stiles whispered, bending over to kiss Derek.

Derek answered his kiss with passion and heat, his arms going around Stiles' body. His protectiveness showing once again. Their tongues met, sliding against each other, slowly caressing, dancing with one another. Stiles moaned when he felt Derek's large hands caress his ass and bring him closer to the man’s cock quickly awakening between them. Stiles was still hard from the hand job he had gave Derek.

 

"Make love to me, Derek, please. I can't wait anymore, I want you!"

And when Derek heard the desire in Stiles' hoarse voice, he just couldn't wait any longer neither.

Rolling over so that Stiles was lying under him, Derek extended his arm to search in the nightstand drawer for the lube and condoms.

"Do we really have to?" Stiles asked when he saw the small square package. "I'm clean and you're a werewolf, I know I have nothing to fear with you giving me a disease or something."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Derek asked him.

"Yes. I am. I'm sure I want to feel you, just you and not some latex barrier between us. I wanna be yours completely, Derek!"

Derek had to fight the urge of claiming Stiles right at that moment. Instead, he tried to breathe slowly, to cool off a bit, and bent to kiss the young man again. Stiles was already lying with his legs open for him, so Derek opened to bottle of lube and coated his fingers with a good amount of the product, he wanted for things to go the smoother possible for Stiles. Warming the lube between his fingers, he broke the kiss to look into Stiles' eyes when the first of his fingers touched the teens virgin asshole. First caressing it gently, then pushing in a bit when he felt Stiles open up for him. The process was slow, because he wanted to take his time and see Stiles' emotions paint his face while his finger entered him, and soon he was deep inside that tight tunnel.

 

"Hnn...Ah...Der" Stiles panted. It was so new to him, feeling himself being open and filled like this. It made him feel so hot suddenly. "Oh my god, yes." He whispered when the man start moving his finger in and out of him.

"You're so tight. You've never did this, am I right? Finger your little asshole, like I’m doing?"

And okay, dirty talk, Stiles was so on board with that. It made his cock jerk on his stomach.

 

"Tell me baby, is this the first time you have a finger in your ass?"

"Y-yeah, it's...it's the first time! Oh god, Derek!" Stiles suddenly cried out, Derek had curved his finger a bit and hit a bundle of nerves, sending a wave of pleasure in Stiles entire body.

"That's it, baby. That was your prostate, just now. It felt good? Do you want me to do it again?"

"P-please, yes. Derek."

 

The man curved his finger again, hitting Stiles' prostate once again and making his lover cried out his name again. With his right hand he started touching Stiles' cock again, masturbating him slowly, which would take the teens mind away from what was about to come.

"I'm gonna add a second finger, baby, okay. Try to relax and breathe, okay."

"Hn...o-okay!" Stiles answered, looking Derek in the eyes and trying not to let his apprehension took over. Breathing slowly, he tried relaxing the best he could. Then Derek second finger was pushing at his entrance and going in slowly, the stretch of the added finger hurt a bit but Stiles could take it. He tried keeping his gaze on Derek's face, listening to his soothing voice and let the pleasure the man was giving by jerking his cock slowly, take his mind off of the bit of pain he was feeling. Soon, though, Derek second finger was deeply buried in him too and the man was starting to fuck his ass with his two fingers, going for his prostate every time his fingers pushed back into Stiles.

"Der...Derek, oh god." Stiles kept moaning, his breath laborious. "Derek, please. Please."

 

And it was so good those fingers fucking, curving in the best way to hit that bundle of nerves. Scissoring his tight little asshole preparing him for more, for Derek's cock. Stiles doubted it would fit and then another part of him could only just wait for Derek to fill him completely with his thick, long dick.

 

"Relax and breathe, I'm adding another one, okay. You're doing so good!" Derek told him and Stiles did as he was told, trusting Derek. The addition of a third finger, though, was way more painful than for the second, the stretch felt more important and Stiles could only lay there, with his legs shaking. But he knew deep inside Derek would make the pain go away, and that it was also part of losing his virginity, the pain was part of the game too.

 

It wasn't long before Derek had him panting and asking for more, as now Stiles' prostate was constantly stimulated by the three fingers fucking him, and the hand jerking his cock at the same time, if Derek kept going like that Stiles would soon come once again that night.

 

"Derek, please, please, I'm go-gonna come if you... Aaah, Derek, please!"

"Don't come yet, baby. Breathe, okay, breathe." The man said softly, wrapping two fingers tightly around the base of Stiles' cock, pushing away his orgasm. When Stiles was back to breathing normally, Derek took his fingers slowly out of him, making him moan at the loss. He then heard Derek uncap the lube again, then saw him coat his member with the product and positioned himself between Stiles' legs. With one hand Derek guided the head of his cock to Stiles' asshole, and he kissed him right before pushing slowly in him.

"Oh.. _god!_ " Stiles cried out, once Derek's cock head was in him. It hurt. He felt so much more stretch than with Derek's fingers. Panting laboriously, he grabbed the man’s shoulders, his eyes closed tightly to chase away the pain.

 

Derek waited a bit before pushing in a bit further, making Stiles keen against his shoulder, the teen holding him now tightly against his body, his arms passed around Derek's back. Slowly, Derek pushed in, stopping when Stiles cries told him it was too much for the boy, but with patience and a lot of soothing whispers in the shell of his ear, Derek found himself buried deep inside his lover.

 

"Aa..Derek..." Stiles said, looking at the man. He couldn't believe that he and Derek were making love now. He felt so full, he wanted to cry. It was like with Derek in him, that gap he had always felt was now filled by the man only.

"You're shaking, baby." Derek said, mesmerized by Stiles. "Relax, relax, I'm not gonna hurt you."

"I know, I know. I just..I can't help it." Stiles answered, breathing the best he could, his body adjusting to how big Derek was in him.

"That's it, breathe. You're doing so good, Stiles. You're perfect, baby." Derek whispered in between kisses, when he felt Stiles was a bit used to having him in him he started moving out slowly, tearing a cry from the teen, grabbing his cock, he masturbated him slowly, tearing his attention away from the pain caused by Derek going back in slowly. It took a few thrusts like this but soon Stiles was used to having Derek's cock inside his ass and his whines went from painful plea to moaning sounds. And when Derek's cock hit his prostate then, Stiles saw stars.

" _DEREK!_ "

"God, _baby_ , you're so tight, so hot around me."

"Derek...D-Derek! More, more...give me more."

 

So Derek did, his thrusts going from slow and deep to fast and strong. Stiles holding onto him for dear life, his arms wrapped around the man’s back and shoulders and his legs locked around Derek's tight hips. The man’s hot mouth sucking on the skin of his throat and neck, marking Stiles with hickeys and love bites. They soon followed a certain rhythm, Stiles now moaning loudly, unable to stay quiet and crying out loud his pleasure. At some point, Derek rolled them over so he was lying on his back with Stiles laid on top of him. The teen braced himself on his forearm on each side of Derek's head, looking at the man with burning desire, his legs trembling around Derek's hips. He let the man guide him, telling him what to do. He felt Derek's hand wrapped around his hips and lift them up so that it was only his chest that was resting on the man now:

 

"I'm gonna make you feel good, baby. Are you ready? Will you hold still for me?"

"Yes. Yes, please, Derek!" Stiles nearly begged, needing to feel Derek fuck him, the wait making him lose it completely.

"Here, here, I'm coming, baby." Derek appeased him and then started thrusting his hips up and down, fucking into Stiles with with a torturous slow speed, making Stiles pant against his mouth.

"O-oh god, you're in so...deep. Derek! Hnn...it's feels so good...you feel so good." Stiles moaned, sounding desperate. He buried his face in the crook of Derek's left shoulder and let him fuck him like he wanted to. In that position Stiles could only feel the man, deeply and filling him even more. And when Derek made him sit on his hips completely then... Stiles thought he would go crazy with every new strong thrust of the man's cock in his ass. His hands pressed on Derek's chest being the only thing keeping him from crashing against the man.

"Der...oh my god, _wow_... It's...your cock, Derek... It's..it's swelling, I can feel it. You're swelling inside of me!" Stiles cried pitifully, pleasure being the master of him at that point, he could feel tears on his cheeks, but he couldn't care less about wiping them out. He felt Derek wrap his arms around him again and the next moment he was back on his back, with a retreating cock from his ass.

 

Grabbing Derek's ass to stop him, Stiles cried:

"NO, please don't pull out. Stay, please, stay."

"Stiles..." Derek said, sounding worried. "It's a knot, I could hurt you if I keep going."

"I don't care, I don't care, _please_ , don't stop. I want it. I want your knot, Derek... _**Please!** _ "

"Stiles..."

"I want you to do it. Claim me. Make me yours. Please. Please."

Hearing Stiles pleads, begging like that, looking disheveled and drunk on sex, and hearing how bad the teen needed for Derek to claim him, the man couldn't stop anymore, and it's both driven by Stiles whining and his wolf ready to wolf out if he stopped now that Derek went back into Stiles, balls deep into his tight ass.

"Derek..." Stiles whined, holding onto him, his legs wrapping around his hips and moving to meet each one of his trusts.

"Stiles...oh baby, it feels so good...let me do it...let me..."

"Yes, yes do it, Derek, please."

 

Derek felt his claws pierce through the pillow case under Stiles head, and a deep growl came out of him. The feeling of Stiles clenching asshole around his cock, his moans and whines, the feeling of his sweating body against his and the heady smell of his scent, so strong and surrounding him completely; _Everything_ made him dizzy. So overwhelmed by his mate.

"Oh _fuck_ , Genim!" He groaned loudly, thrusting into Stiles deeper now, his knots ready to anchor itself to his mate. "Genim. Baby, I'm gonna..."

Hear Derek call him by his name now, and feel the knot swell so much it nearly hurt, was enough to push Stiles over the edge and for his orgasm to burst out of him, the hand in Derek's hair pulling on the dark strands.

The pain of Stiles pulling on his hair, the feel of his ass clenching so tightly around his knot and the jerking of the young man’s cock between their stomachs, was what made Derek come, barely a few seconds later than Stiles. And it went on forever it seemed, Derek coming like never ever before.

"Oh baby...baby...Genim." Derek whispered.

 

Stiles was lost in heaven, Derek’s soft voice whispering his name, and the tidal waves of his orgasm rocking him deliciously. It took him a little while to came down from his blissful cloud, and notice that Derek was shaking between his arms, shivering with the force of his orgasm and...

 

"You're still coming?!" He said, incredulous in a very hoarse voice.

" _Oh my god_ ..." Derek grunted. "It's the first time it happens to me. I don't how... _ooooh_ _**fuck** _ ...how I don't how long I'm... _**Oh fuck, Stiles!** _ "

"Yeah. I'm here, baby. I'm here, holding you, let it go, it'll be okay."

"I'm sorry, I..."

"No! Don't be Derek, this...you...it was amazing. Thank you." Stiles confessed before kissing his mate. **His mate** . Now that his head was a bit clearer he could feel the change, could feel the force of Derek's orgasm like he was him, feel his deepest emotions too and weirdly it's like he could hear the sound of the man’s beating heart with an acute clarity now. So...was this what being _**'mates'** _ meant then? Well, it was awesome!

"Can we... Can we try and change position, please. I think it's gonna take awhile and it'll be easier for the both us if you were on top of me."

"Yeah, okay. Easy, though, it's very sensitive down there."

Derek groaned and slowly they rolled over so that Stiles finally rested on top of Derek, straddling him. They both moaned loudly when Derek's knot went even deeper with the change of position. Knowing that it would take awhile for things to go down south, Stiles laid back on Derek's chest, happy and satisfied. His long fingers tracing patterns on Derek's chest, the man fingers playing in his hair gently.

"I'm totally yours now!" Stiles whispered a while later, sleepy.

"Yes. You are." Derek answered softly, reaching out for the comforter and pulling it over them.

And it's how they both fell asleep, with Stiles lying on top of Derek and still joined intimately by the man’s knot. It was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....did you like this chap? Tell me in a comment.


	25. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Here's the new chapter, I hope ya'll enjoy it.**   
>  **xoxo**
> 
>  
> 
> PS: You can enjoy this chapter even more by clicking right **[here](http://8tracks.com/theshiwolf/the-morning-after)** , I couldn't write this chap, post it and not give you the playlist I made for it.

Stiles was no stranger to waking up next to Derek, the man’s strong arms wrapped around him. What Stiles wasn't used to, though, was waking up naked and deliciously sore from the past night events. In a few words, waking up no longer a virgin.

Wriggling gently, Stiles turned around on his right side and moved a bit until he found the perfect position to settle in. His head under Derek's arm, his forehead pressed against the man’s chest. Perfect.

 

Closing his eyes, he let last night's images replay themselves before his eyes. Just like in a slow motion of a bit blurry flashes;

 

He saw how Derek had massaged his aching body after their long shoot the previous day. And after that, how good it had felt to be pressed against the man’s hot body waiting for the delivery man to arrive, which hadn't been that long, really. How it had been easy, warm, and just perfect to eat their food and watch TV pressed against each other afterwards, in agreeable silence. Nothing had felt forced or too much, no, everything had just happened so naturally.

 

They had done this before, watch a movie together or have take out for supper, but an evening like that, a date like that, because that's how it had felt to Stiles; _**A date** _ like that was a first for him and really for them both as well. The food had been delicious, the show was just what Stiles loved to watch and he still couldn't believe that Derek had recorded not just the pilot, but the whole show for him. And that's what had made Stiles fall so hard for the man, the little things he did in silence, when no one was looking, proving him again and again how much of a good and caring person Derek Hale really was.

Then Stiles remembered how Derek had breathed in his scent, had kissed his neck tenderly and in that very special sexy, possessive way. A behavior typical to werewolves but, damn, he could never resist when Derek went all scent marking and possessive on him. The way Derek had done it had sent shivers all over his skin, making his toes curl and his heartbeat race up quickly, something that he didn't succeed in calming down when Derek had announced he was going to take a shower and Stiles could only sit there and think of the man, naked, his body covered with soap under the shower and suddenly what was happening on the TV hadn't mattered anymore.

 

He was impressed by himself at how daring he had been then, how he had felt just confident enough to join Derek under the water. It was the first time he'd dared something like that, so bold. For once the insecure part of his self hadn't been reactive enough to keep him from crossing that line. For going in and take what he'd wanted so badly for so long now. And then...

 

Then, Derek had kissed him, had caressed his body, touched him so lovingly, with both want and care and then worked on giving him the most pleasure he could. Stiles had felt so whole and yet on the verge of breaking both at the same time, but never had he thought that those feelings would soon become devastating later in the night.

 

His skin shivered, his flesh covered with the chill of the memories coming alive with all his senses. Goosebumps covered his entire body now, his scent grew stronger, a bit more alluring with the excitation and the new wave of want he was feeling.

 

He couldn't quite believe he had lost his virginity, to be honest; it was something he had never thought would be that difficult to grasp once it'd have been done. But the truth was something else. He was the happiest person on earth because of how he and Derek, _**his mate** _ , had become one last night, settling their bond for life. That was something he would never deny or regret, ever. But now that he no longer was a virgin he felt like every notions of his existence had been altered, changed and he had now the obligation to re-think them over and understand what they were and what they meant once again. Like he had to understand and rebound with his body again, understand the changes in his mind, and trying to get over the fact of having someone else touch him so beautifully intimate the night before, and how that defined him and Derek now. He also wondered if his dad would see it, if losing your innocence like that was something noticeable to everyone else . After all, he had known before he even told him when Scott had lost his virginity too. So, would his dad see it right away? What would he say if he did? All those thoughts were terrifying and at the same time Stiles wouldn't have changed anything. _**Anything at all.** _

 

The way he had felt after that shower, the want so present and overwhelming when they had settled back to watch the last bit of the show, Stiles hadn't been able to repress it anymore. Hadn't been able to try and tame that fire burning inside of him for the man holding him so tightly in his arms and making his skin shiver under his hot kisses and the feathery touches of his calloused fingers. Once again, Stiles couldn't quite believe his boldness then, but it had felt so natural to turn around and straddle Derek's lap, to go for his mouth and seek the hot, so very _intimate_ , kisses the man had given him earlier that evening. The need to feel their skin touched together, the desire consuming their minds and bodies, the burning want to become one. Everything had happened so fast and yet with such exactitude after all the months of restraint and holding back, for the both of them.

Derek had carried him to the bed, as if Stiles weighted nothing. And what had happened next...

 

 

Stiles breathed out slowly, his skin shivered with pleasure, body warm wrapped in the embrace of the man next to him. His fingers traced the journey Derek's mouth and fingers had traced along his skin the night before, he could see as clearly as he could feel them, every one of the man’s touches, every one of his kisses and it brought him back to the verge of losing himself again, but in a good way. In a _**very** _ _good_ way.

He was amazed by how Derek had guided him, talked to him during it all, how when they had become one the man had been the most caring and patient possible, easing the pain away and reassuring Stiles all along the hard process of being deflowered by a man, of having that part of him being penetrated like that. But the pain had been worth it, oh so worth it, because the pleasure he had felt then, the pleasure Derek had given him after that, it really was worth a bit of pain.

 

And then, _**it** _ had happened.

 

That big revelation. When Derek's eyes had went from blue to kind of violet to bright red. And claimed him as his mate. The Alpha's Mate. Knotting him so profoundly and filling him with his love seed, settling their destiny, their lives together forever. Stiles had always thought there couldn't be a more intimate feeling than being filled by someone on your first time, he had never ever imagine how being knotted, linked like that, could be so profoundly intimate it was overwhelming. Devastating. Life changing, even.

 

So, _yes..._ Stiles was no longer a virgin. And there in the arms of Derek Hale, he couldn't have asked for better first time because the one he had had was already so perfect.

 

***

 

He must’ve fallen back asleep, somehow, because Stiles woke up some time later to a very strange feeling. It wasn't like an emotion, more like some kind of motion working on its own pushing him to do something. Untangling himself from Derek's arms, he rushed as silently as he could to the bathroom, certain that if he didn't arrived there soon, something terribly messy would happen.

The next minutes felt like they were endless, and Stiles didn't know if he was supposed to just let his mind wander off to some other place or if letting mortification flood him was the right, and most normal course of action to adopt.

"Oh god.." He moaned in a shuddering breath. The sounds coming out of his mouth as shameful... No, more like as sinful as what was coming out of... _Him_.

 

Pressing his hand against his mouth, he tried to muffled any sounds slipping out of it. While he pressed his legs together, hoping foolishly it would help somehow. But it didn't and he really hope this would end soon. This wasn't normal. This wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't something that happened to men like him. So... _why?_ Why was this happening?

It ended long torturous minutes later, but Stiles thought it had felt like an hour. He cleaned himself a bit. _(The best he could without making noses and risk waking Derek up)_ . Then went back to lay in bed next to the man. Unable to find sleep, his mind having jumped into the _"Train Thoughts Roller-coaster"_.

"I can hear your brain a mile away." Derek said in a sleepy voice behind him. "What's wrong?" The man asked, worry sensible in his voice even though it sounding sleepy.

Blushing furiously, Stiles kept silent wishing he could just crawl into himself or something, anything keeping him from having to tell Derek.

"Stiles? Baby, what's wrong, talk to me." Derek said, now sounding worried. Moving away from Stiles' back he took hold of the young man to make him turn around so that they could face each other. Taking Stiles' burning face into his hands, he asked again. "What's wrong? Did something happen? Are you hurt? Tell me, what is it?"

 

Stiles looked into Derek's eyes, he could feel how the man was growing concerned with every passing second and it scared him a bit because their bond was so strong now that he could actually feel Derek's strongest emotions. The thought occurred to him then that if was capable to feel Derek, then the man could probably do the same and maybe even more with him being a born werewolf and all.

Taking a deep breath, Stiles decided that he should just tell Derek. They had been able to talk about everything before; it was a very important aspect of their relationship, now shouldn't change that.

 

"I...uh...you. Som-something happened and, uhm...it's...I don't..."

"Hey. It's okay. Breathe. You know you can tell me anything."

"Yeah. I know. It's just...please, don't laugh or judge me, please."

"I won't, I promise. I would never, Stiles. What is it, you're starting to scare me!"

"Wh-when I woke up, I had to...huh...something wasn't right, and so I had to go to the bathroom. And then I...your..it... _Oh my god!_ "

 

Derek kept silent, knowing it was the only way Stiles would ever feel comfortable enough to tell him what was going on.

"I think something is wrong with me, Der. It's not normal."

"What? No! What are you talking about, nothing is wrong with you, baby."

"But then why did this happen. It shouldn't have. It... _Derek._ " Stiles cried out, looking both lost and on edge.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Calm down, okay, breathe, like that, perfect. Now, can you explain to me what happened, I'm a bit lost."

"My body did a thing and..and it's not normal, that shouldn't have happened."

"Okay."

"No, you don't get it, I... Derek, it didn't come out. Nothing did. It stayed there all night."

"What did?"

"Your...you know. Your cum. It stayed in me all night and it wasn't supposed to. I know that. My body it..it just kept everything. All of it. And then I had to rush to the bathroom and, oh my god, I'm so mortified, right now. I'm a freak. There's no other explanation, I'm some kind of freak."

"Hey now, no you're not. You're perfectly normal. Maybe it's because of the knot that this happened."

"But how? I just know that being linked to you like that..." Stiles said, out of breath. His shaking fingers tracing patterns over Derek's heart. "It felt so good when you did it."

"When I did what?" Derek asked him a bit teasing.

"You know." Stiles answered, but feeling a bit shy to actually say the word out loud. He didn't know why he felt like that, but he did.

"I know, but I want to hear you say it." Derek then told him, looking serious, but something warm shined in his eyes while he looked at Stiles without blinking.

"It felt amazing when you knotted me. I felt...whole and like I belong." Stiles admitted.

"You belong to me." Derek told him, his voice deep and possessive, sending chill over Stiles' skin.

"Yeah." Stiles said. "Yeah, I do. I do belong to you."

 

And that was enough then. Saying those words acted like some enchantment and all the worries and uneasy feelings he had felt until that moment kind of just vanished away. The practical part of his brain choosing that instant to point things out to him;

What was there to be afraid of when he was dating a werewolf, to whom he had lost his virginity to? He had been through death and back and was now leaving with a darkness around his heart. Derek had revealed not being a beta anymore but the beautiful and strong alpha he had always been and always had been to Stiles' eyes. Last night had ended in a mating ritual where Derek's body and inner wolf had recognize their mate into Stiles and had acted on it by knotting him, with all his willingness involve of course. And now he was bound to Derek for life, body and soul, which allowed him to feel the man, their connection, like never before, it was so intense and yet so natural. So, really, what was having to rush to the bathroom because your body had decided that keeping your boyfriend's sperm in you all night was something totally normal, no matter how mortifying it would be to sit on the toilet and wait for it all to just...come out!

Yeah, it really wasn't the end of the world. And Stiles should be all over Derek instead, now that the man was awake.

 

"Where did your gigantic brain ran off to this time?" Derek asked him, caring.

Coming closer, so that he could press his body against the man’s naked form, Stiles said, before kissing Derek's lips softly;

"Nowhere. It's right here, with you. Fully focus on how to take advantage of my mate, I heard morning sex is really good."

"Hmm... Did you?"

"Yeah, wanna try."

"I'm all for it if but are you okay after last night?" Derek asked him, his expression painted with worry.

"I love you. And I feel fine, I promise. I'll tell you if it's too much. But right now, I just want you, Derek. Buried deep inside of me." Stiles finally said, whispering his last words into Derek's ear. He both felt how Derek's skin shivered and how something wild, like a fire came alive at the same time inside Derek. And that was crazy, being able to feel all that, that was simply crazy.

"Love you too, baby. Don't worry, I'm gonna make love to you real good, I promise." Derek purred in his ear, rolling them over so that he could lay on top of Stiles' form, finding his way between his lover’s parted legs.

Stiles closed his eyes then, letting everything go and focusing only on Derek's hands traveling along his shoulders and down his arms. His fingers entwining with his, Derek's mouth on the back of his neck kissing it languorously, and the slow sway of the man’s hips against his ass.

 

Later, when Derek was finally buried deep inside him, his weight a heavy, comforting pressure against his back, Stiles could only feel the deep thrusts of his lover, taking him slowly, almost lazily but so much deeper than the night before, it felt like Derek was not only making love to his body but also to his soul. And when they both came so much later, it was with Derek not even needing to touch Stiles' cock, but with the force of their intense bond, and love making only.

When Stiles fell asleep again, in the soft morning light, it was safely, between the strong arms of his mate, not a single thought polluting his mind then. And just then, that tiny moment of peace was enough to give him hope that maybe Derek would be able to lessen the burden it was to live with that bleeding mark around his human heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Any thoughts on this chapter, guys? Comment right below.**


	26. Freak Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hey everyone, next chapter is here. I ope ya'll enjoy it.**   
>  **Until next time.**   
>  **xoxo Sin.**

A few days later, Derek's phone buzzed on his desk while Stiles was playing around taking pictures after pictures of the man busy working on the editing of the last shoot they had done, the one of them together and really naked.

"Hale!" Derek said into the phone receiver. "Oh hey Cyn, what's going on?"

Stiles' curiosity was spiked when he heard it was Derek's agent calling, he wonder what it was all about. He wished to have his boyfriend amazing hearing so that he could hear the woman talking on the other side of the line.

"Ok, when?" Derek asked. "Ok, hold on a sec, I'll check... Yeah, I can make it."

Stiles pulled on the back of Derek's chair so that he could slide in between the desk and his boyfriend to straddle the man's knees, and put the camera on the table next to the iMac's keyboard.

Playing with the front of Derek's bright blue shirt, his long fingers sliding up and down in abstract patterns, Stiles waited for the man to be done with his phone call. Which didn't take long.

 

"What did Cyn want?" He asked with curiosity.

"A friend of mine can't do some shoot in NYC so he put in a word for me and apparently the people hiring him want me to do the work instead."

"Oh, what's the shooting gonna be about?"

"I'll have to shoot models for a new brand of clothing."

"Sounds cool, when do you have to do the job?"

"I'm leaving on Friday."

"What, but that's like in two days. Do you know when you'll be back?" Stiles exclaimed, a bit alarmed to know Derek would be leaving for god knows how long. He still felt weird after the new turn their relationship had took and as much as he needed time to clear his head he also felt a part of him cringe at the idea of them being apart.

 

"I don't know, a few days maybe, a week max."

"A week!" Stiles repeated, alarmed.

"Hey, I'll be back in no time." Derek said in a reassuring tone.

"Yeah, I know, I just... I don't know, never mind. Make sure to make a great job."

"I will." Derek answered, bending over to take Stiles' lips in a soft kiss. The young man kissing back happily.

*

 

Later that day, Stiles welcomed Lydia into his house, the girl was worried after the weird message Stiles had left on her phone.

"What's going on, your text sounded weirder than usual." She said as soon she was inside.

Finding that being straight to the point would be easier than make small talk over nothing really, Stiles told her: "Derek and I had sex, which means I'm now his mates and he's leaving for New York in two days and will be gone for at least a whole week. I'm kind of freaking out about everything right now."

"Ok, we're gonna need support for this." Lydia said, calmly.

 

Making a detour by the kitchen, they then headed up to Stiles' bedroom and after being both comfortably put on the boy's bed that Lydia finally spoke.

"Okay, first, you and Derek had sex! When? How did it happen? And most importantly, why didn't you told me sooner?"

"I-I... It was about two weeks ago, when I spent the weekend at the loft. After my first naked photo shoot. I didn't told you because I wasn't ready to talk about that to anyone and it didn't happen since then anyway, and also because I don't how to talk about it, not even with Derek, not when I feel so... _weird_ , since it happened?"

"Weird, how?" Lydia asked, curious, the way Stiles was fidgeting and shying away from the obvious picked at her curiosity, she never behaved or even felt like Stiles said he was feeling after losing her virginity to Jackson.

 

"It's like everything I thought I knew, the way I used to see the world, the way I used to see myself, to feel... Everything is changed now. And I don't how to react to that change. Or even how to find the right words to describe exactly what it is I feel."

"Do you regret it?" Lydia asked him bluntly.

"No! No, of course not." Stiles exclaimed. "I can't! How can I? I could never regret it, not even a bit, Lydia. It was so amazing, so perfect. But it's also a lot to take in and the way I feel, because I lost my virginity to this incredible man and because I'm now bound to him in that so very intimate way, it makes me feel like I have to learn everything all over again. And this thought, this feeling is so disturbing."

"I'm jealous, you know." Lydia said, after taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

"Jealous? Why?"

"Because you lived what few people can say they lived. Not that many people can say that their first time was a life changing experience, hell, the majority of them will tell you it was either a big mistake or that they should have waited or even that they didn't feel anything at all. I know that my first time was nothing I had dream it would be, it was pretty boring to be honest."

"But I thought you and..."

"Don't get me wrong I loved Jackson like no one else" She said, cutting Stiles in his line; "But sometimes loving someone isn't enough for such intimate moment to shake up your entire world. What you have with Derek, what you've experience, cherish it and don't think too much about it, you will only manage to torture yourself and give Derek the wrong message in the end. And that's stupid believe me. Instead, try talking to him about what you're feeling, what's bothering you so much."

 

Stiles stayed silent a long moment, processing all Lydia just told him. She was right about over thinking everything and he really needed to talk to Derek about what had been bothering him for two weeks now.

 

Emptying her drink, Lydia then stood abruptly, and kicked Stiles foot with her perfectly manicured one.

"Come on, Stilinski, get your ass up we're going out!"

"What, where? Please, not to the shopping mall."

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't insult the shopping mall with your tone and will play nice cause I'm in a good day today. Now, get your sorry ass up."

"What do you have in mind?" Stiles asked slowly getting up from his bed.

Smoothing out her sundress, then tucking out an invisible fly away behind her right ear, the girl answered:

"To the diner, I suddenly have this craving for curly fries and chicken burger."

"Curly fries... Awww Lyds" Stiles fake swooned; "Why didn't you say so sooner."

"Because I know you so well."

"Indeed... You do!"

"Awesome, now change that shirt will you, there's no way I'm gonna be seen in town with you wearing that." She exclaimed, ignoring Stiles gaping expression to raid his closet or something more respectable to her taste.

"What's wrong with my shirt?" Stiles wined suddenly. Lydia got out of the closet, a new clean t-shirt in hand and a cover shirt matching the color of the t-shirt.

"Nothing, for staying home... Alone! Otherwise it's making my eyes bleed."

"Gosh... Alright, I'll change no need to be that bossy."

"Oh but darling, we both know that's how you love me best, when I'm bossing you around."

Stiles groaned, the worse is she was ninety percent right. Judging it'd be better to not reply, Stiles did as much, getting out of his Sponge Bob purple shirt for the one Lydia had choose. Besides, he kinda liked her choice of the purple and fuchsia flannel shirt were perfect with his E=MC2 black t-shirt.

"There, now you look like something. Wear your black Vans with this and lets go."

"You know, somehow, I'm glad I fell so hard for Derek and stopped fantasizing of one day marrying you, my life would have been a living hell."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

Stiles smiled and smacked a loud kiss on her cheek, making her giggles. Next thing, they were climbing in his Jeep and leaving for the Diner downtown. The call for curly fries stronger than ever.

*

 

They'd both ordered a menu and a plate of extra fries and were now waiting for the waitress to bring their order when Lydia asked Stiles:

 

"Are you scared of Derek leaving for New York because of the mate bond or something else?"

"Huh... I don't really know, I guess the mate bond plays a great part in me not wanting to see him leave but also I can't help this fear that he's gonna be around so many attractive people for an entire week and what if..."

"What if he meets someone more attractive than you?" She said smart enough to have guessed his fear without having him to say it aloud.

"Y-yeah!"

"That's stupid Stiles. Even more so, for someone as smart as you. Derek will never cheat on you and would never even look at someone else the way he looks at you. The guy's completely gone for you, idiot."

"But..."

"No buts, Stiles. Don't you get that no matter how attractive every model Derek could work with for him none of them are as beautiful as you are to his eyes. He chose you to be his mate. His partner, his lover for life. Doesn't that speak enough volume for you? You really need to take off your wood glasses and start to see what everyone sees when they look at you: a really handsome young man growing to become an even more handsome man. And trust me, I'm certain Derek knows how lucky he is to have you as his mate."

"You really think so?"

"Yes, I do. Now, stop making up stupid thoughts and let’s talk about me instead I need my best gay friend too."

"Your gay best friend... No! Just no! Whatever you want but that."

"Alright." She sighed. "Such a drama queen."

"Hey!!!"

"What? It's true."

"Whatever." Stiles said rolling his eyes. "What's wrong then?"

"Aiden broke up with me!"Lydia said, calmly, her face not betraying any feelings.

"WHAT? How? When? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Do you want me to go punch his stupid face? Cause I can, or more like I'll sent my super strong boyfriend to save your honor, you know I will."

"You're sweet, but to be honest with you, it's barely if I'm sad over the fact."

"O...kay, what do you mean by that and why did he break up with you in the first place?"

"Ethan and Danny broke up again, so Ethan told Aiden he decided to leave Beacon Hills for awhile, that he needed to find himself again and know who he was now that they were back to being omegas again. Aiden, couldn't let his brother leave alone knowing that so many people out there want them dead so he chose to broke up with me instead of talking Ethan out of his decision and to leave town too."

"Okay, I kind of get where they're coming from but couldn't Aiden find another way than just simply broke up with you. You guys seemed so close lately."

"We are...were, but even though we have feelings for each other it's not enough and we wouldn't survive a long distance relationship. I prefer that we call it off too."

"Okay, but why do you seem so confused then, if you think it's the best thing to do?"

"Because I'm not even sad, Stiles. Not even a bit. I mean I should be, after all I did fell hard for him but at the same time I can't help but compare this relationship with the one prior and it's so small in comparison, so... Insignificant. I can't help but wonder if it will be like that from now one? Will every person I'm with leave me in the end and I won't be touched because they meant so little to me compared to you know who."

Staying silent for awhile, Stiles reached over the table to take Lydia's shaking hand in his, he could clearly see the storm of feelings the girl was feeling at the moment displayed on her porcelain doll face.

"You're young Lydia. Jackson was your first love but he wasn't your last. You will meet other people, and the way you'll love them will be different each time. But I know, that someday you'll fall for someone hard, you will experience a love greater then than the one you felt for Jackson and I can promise you that that stranger will rock your world, you can trust me on this."

"Did mating with Derek make you this wise or it's another one of your hidden qualities."

"What can I say... I'm full of surprises." Stiles answered smiling.

That's the moment their waitress chose to bring them their food, they started eating peacefully after that, happy to share this moment together, talking about everything and anything now that they'd emptied the burden that was weighting on their hearts. And not really knowing how, Lydia came to ask.

"Do you have news about Cora? How is she?"

"She's good actually. She's doing great in school and isn't scared at all about not receiving her diploma, she's also find a new passion in modeling for fake hipsters artists in New York. Her and Derek talks a lot over the phone and Skype. It's good to see them so close and happy to be back in each others' life. Why do you ask? I didn't know you and her are friends."

"We're not! At least not really. But I don't know since you've told me about her after the Exhibit, I don't know, I guess I've been wondering about her a lot. I have to say I acted like a bitch with her, and that didn't help her choosing to stay here with Derek, I think."

"Not really, but then again Cora isn't the person to hold grudges for such trivial things. You could text her, you know, I'm sure she'd be happy to make a new friend and know she can come back here and not fear a cold welcome home this time."

"I-I don't know... It's not like I have reasons to want her to talk to me." Lydia said, feeling her phone buzzing in the pocket of her long cardigan.

"Well, you gotta start somewhere right, and if you asked me about her then it have to be for a good reason. I just texted you her number. You can do whatever with it, but a _' **Hi'**_ never hurt anyone, right." Stiles told her smiling warmly.

Maybe he was right Lydia thought, maybe she could use that opportunity to finally come clean with the girl and tell her how she was sorry she had treated her like the enemy when Cora really wasn't. Maybe she could just say _'Hi'_ like Stiles suggested and then see what happens.

"Hey, don't you steal fries from my plate, Stilinski. There's a full extra plate between the both of us, help yourself in there." Lydia exclaimed, her eyes shining with fury, how dared Stiles try and steal from her plate.

"Damn, if I'd knew sooner you love curly fries and isn't afraid to ask for some extra back then, maybe I wouldn't have been able to get over you."

"Yeah, until some grumpy werewolf came back in town and shake up your world."

"Yeah... You're probably, right."

"Of course, you two are each other’s gravitational center."

Stiles smiled, Lydia wasn't wrong, Derek and him were like magnets, constantly attracted by the other and no matter what could happen they would always be drown to the other, like opposite magnets do.

 

*

 

Late afternoon Friday, Derek was getting ready to leave his loft and jump in his car for the airport when Stiles came in through the door.

 

"Great, you're still here. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to get to you before you leave for the city."

"You're right on time and I have a bit more time for you before having to go." Derek answered, coming up the stairs to close the metal door behind Stiles and push the brunet against it gently, his eyes lost in his boyfriend's; "Come here." He said in a low voice, sending shivers on Stiles' skin. The young man eagerly accepted the kiss Derek gave him, knowing this would be the last before long, he didn't wanted to waste time in talking when he could use that time doing one of his favorite thing with his mate.

 

"I can't believe you're gonna be gone for so long." Stiles whispered between that kiss and another one.

"I'll be back before you know it." Derek answered, his tongue licking Stiles' bottom lip.

"I'm still gonna miss you terribly." Stiles confessed.

"So do I, baby. But I'll call you as much as possible, okay?"

"Okay. But Derek..."

"What?" The man asked.

"I..." Stiles started to say; "No, never mind. Have a nice trip and please be safe. Don't meet any psycho on your way. I want my man to come home."

"Baby..."

"I know, but I'm allowed to be cheesy when you're leaving miles away and I'm gonna be waiting here for your return."

"I'm not going to war, Stiles."

"It feels like you are. Now, shut up, stop mocking my feelings."

"I would never." Derek answered.

"I know! I know." Stiles whispered, leaning in to kiss Derek one last time, their tongues sliding against each other and their fingers locked into the other's hair.

Then it was time for Derek to leave, and Stiles was waving him goodbye from the pavement, the key to the loft held tight in his hands, with words from his mate still ringing in his head, telling it was okay if Stiles ever felt he needed to sleep at the loft or just spend some time there may something ever happen.

*

 

Two days had passed since Stiles had texted Lydia Cora's number, and the girl hadn't dared to send anything to that number yet.

She was lying in her bed, a late hour of the night had already began, looking at her phone screen intently. Should she send something? Could she dare do it? And why was Cora so much in her thoughts lately? Why did she have that craving of needing to know how she was, of having tons of contact with her? They didn't part best friends after all, but then they didn't parted enemies either, so... What to do now?

Breathing shakily, Lydia watched as her fingers started typing on the screen of their own volition, and before she could stop them, her thumbs was hitting _**'send'** _.

 _Oh god_ ; she thought. What had she done?

Burying her face in her pillow she tried to erase the past moments from her mind, but without success as it kept playing the scene of her fingers typing the text and hitting send.

*

 

Cora lay in bed, fresh from a very late shower and buried in the world of music her headphones was playing in her ears. It's something she came to love doing, putting on her headphones to muffle the sounds of the city, and discover new voices or kinds of music. Right now, she was lost in _Damien Saez_ , a French singer she remembered hearing Laura and Derek listened to when she was still a small kid. Out of nostalgia, she'd researched and downloaded the singer's complete discography and was now lost in his last triple album _**"Messina"** _ , when her phone buzzed a few times in her hand with an incoming text from an unknown number.  Usually, she would have deleted the text right away, not knowing the number, but the simple and short _'Hi'_ on her screen told her not to.

Curious she opened the link and wasn't really surprised to see the message wasn't longer than this. Eager to know who was contacting her, she quickly sent a reply.

 

_**{Hi, to you too, stranger! Can I know who's this?}** _

She didn't have to wait long to receive another text from her unknown messenger.

 

_**[It's Lydia. Stiles gave me your number.]** _

 

Cora stilled a small second, Lydia Martin took the initiative to contact her? Why?

 

 _**{He did** _ _**? why am I** _ _**not surprised. But tell me... Why did you** _ _**decide** _ _**to text me, Princess?}** _

 

She was intrigued, what did Lydia wanted with her? It's not like the girl had shown her any warm feelings, _at all_ , when Cora was in Beacon Hills, on the contrary.

 

_**[I don't really know, tbh. I just wanted to know how you were doing, I guess. I know we didn't parted exactly as best friends but I wanna apologize for being such a bitch to you.]** _

_**{Well, well, well... Now that's a surprise! I'm fine, thanks for asking. If I didn't knew better I could almost believe you miss me, Princess.}** _

 

No reply this time, did she manage to hurt the Princess' feelings?

 

_**{More seriously, what's the catch, Lydia?}** _

_**[There isn't one. I really just wanted to take news of you, nothing else.]** _

 

Cora contemplated the last text Lydia had sent; could she really believe the girl's behavior was that innocent? Her instinct roared no, but a part of her, the more human one, was saying yes, wanting to know more about the redhead girl texting her. After all, Lydia Martin had always kind of intrigued her.

 

_**{Well, I'm great really. The city is awesome, gets a bit lonely sometimes too, but loneliness is like a default capacity for us Hale, so it's fine. What about you? Still shagging your Blondie Boy?}** _

 

What?

_Why did she asked that?_

Especially when she didn't care about that blonde omega and would have been glad to show how resentful of him she still was. She couldn't understand what a girl like Lydia saw in him, to be honest.

 

_**[I'm fine. Thank you. He's out of my life...]** _

 

Oh.... _OH!_ Cora thought, so the Princess wasn't as crazy as she once thought, after all.

 

 _**{Well, I won't lie and say** _ _**I’m** _ _**sorry here. Anyway, it was nice of you to say 'Hi', Princess. We should do that again, sometime.}** _

 

Ok... What was with her and wanting to talk more with Lydia Martin. Maybe she was just tired, yeah, definitely, she was tired, plus it was like two in the morning or something so yeah, she should be getting some beauty sleep.

 

_**[I was happy to talk to you, Cora. I hope to do this again soon... Have a goodnight.]** _

Reading that last text, Cora didn't know why but some alarm in her brain went weirdly off. Was she screwed or something? She did really enjoy talking to the girl. Oh man, this was too much questioning at such a late hour and with a half working brain set up on French music, of which she really was trying to understand the lyrics for god’s sake. Lydia Martin wouldn't trouble her anymore tonight, she thought, before turning around to lay on her stomach, the parts of her skin not covered by her black sport bra and black panties, gently brush by the warm air of her apartment.

 _Yeah_ , she would worry about Lydia Martin some other day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So...like it or not? Comment or kudos just below so that I know.**


	27. Brotherhood and texting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So it turns out I completely forgot about this one chapter and posted the last one in its place instead. The error was totally and is now fixed. Enjoy this as my Xmas gift, guys. Luv ya. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year before hand. xoxo. Sin**

Derek was so glad when his plane finally landed in JFK. The flight had felt like endless hours and he had been antsy to arrive in New York. He hoped that Cora wouldn't be late though, his sister had revealed having a big tendency of arriving late when Derek needed her.

Undoing his seat belt, Derek got up, reaching into the luggage rack for his duffel and small suitcase, he had never been one to travel heavily. Taking advantage of everyone's inattention, he slipped the blanket and sleeping accessories they gave you in planes into his Duffel, knowing Stiles wouldn't let him be if Derek didn't at least came back with one plane blanket.

 

Following the hundreds of people getting off like him, Derek didn't wasted time and was soon in the airport look for a small brunette dressed like a Tom-boy, he concluded Cora was late again when he didn't caught sign of her in the big crowd facing him, and the place was way too crowded to catch the slightest bit of her scent.  _Great_ , he thought, he would have to wait god knows how long in this smelly and extremely loud place, he really wasn't happy about that.

 

"Yo' big bro, over here." He suddenly heard Cora's familiar voice call out in his direction. Looking to his right he found her waving lightly at him, a big smile brightening her face.

Derek did a double take,  _what the..._ He thought what did she do to her hair and, wait,  were those heels on her boots?

 

"Yeah, you're clearly overjoyed to see me, after all it's only been, oh I don't know...months since we saw each other last. I'm great by the way, thanks for asking."

"Cor', what the fuck did you do to your hair and is that a skirt you're wearing? Who the fuck are you dating? I'm gonna break his neck..." Derek half growled out, half exclaimed, his eyes flashing quickly.

"And you're gonna have to take a big breath, all right, that's good, good bro. Now,  calm the fuck down , I'm just trying out new things, plus I'm wearing leggings with the skirt. I'm a girl, even if you seem so surprise to acknowledge it, girls wear skirts sometimes. And as for the hair... You like?" She asked smiling falsely, her lashes batting rapidly.

"Huh... It's a change, not that bad though. Since when do you have  blonde highlights, you're like...almost  blonde ?!"

"So observatory of you, come on let's move, this place stinks and I'm starving, we're having take out tonight, I'm too lazy to cook."

"What you wouldn't even cook for your big brother."

"No! I'll cook tomorrow, I'm really tired, work has been a bitch today."

" What too many clients complaining about the temperature of their non-fat  Chai Soy Lattes?"

"Yeah, not funny, today was the day for  idiots trust me, it’s like  they let them all out today of all days."

Derek chuckled, he had missed hearing her complain like that, her face distorted in a sulky pout. Derek always thought his little sister looked awfully cute while pouting, but he knew better than to tell her that.

 

"Come on," He said, putting his arm over her shoulders and holding her tenderly against him; "Your amazing brother is in town for at least a good week, which means I'll be kind enough to cook for you."

"Oh, I'm so spoiled aren't I, clearly having some Stiles was the best thing to ever happen to you." She said, faking a boredom her body and eyes couldn't hide.

"Clearly, you'll stop talking about Stiles like that or no private cook for you, miss."

"All right, all right, no talking crudely about your boyfriend. But, it only is because I hate cooking."

"Of course you do, I wonder how you do living on your own."

"I usually order in or manage to get myself invited at people's places."

"The more it goes  on , the more you take after Peter."

"Don't be insulting, now." She said, closing the door after her and turning her key in the ignition, next thing she was guiding the car out of the monstrous parking lot of JFK.

"So, how's Stiles?"

"He's doing fine considering..."

"He's still having trouble with you know what?"

" These past weeks he seemed to be more calm, less cranky or tormented, but there's moments where it just gets too much. I'm really scared for him in those moments." Derek admitted softly, his gaze lost out of the window, he hoped, really hoped, that the fact he was gone wouldn't  trigger more nightmares or worse  ones for Stiles. He would have to text Lydia later and ask her to keep an eye out and take care of Stiles while he was out of town.

 

Cora kept silent a long, just focused on driving the car around, her mind was going a mile  a  minute, she could see something was different with Derek, something important enough to change the perception she had of his whole aura. Taking advantage of a red light where she had to stop the car, she asked him softly:

 

"Der, what is it you're not telling me? You seem...different."

"Can we wait to be at your place to talk about all this?"

"Yeah, of course, just...don't shut me out, okay."

"I won't, I just wanna arrive that's all."

"Almost there." Cora said, and it was by sheer luck really that she managed to move out of her studio and find her new place. The loft she now lived in was spacious, not extremely big like Derek's, but spacious enough for her to not feel  trapped in between four walls like her old place. Also the loft was easier to access by car when she was too lazy to take the subway. It was a good compromise really, the loft still being in the city but in a calm enough suburb to not go crazy with the stress the heart of the city constantly dragged in waves and that had made her cranky the first months of living there alone.

When Cora finally pulled up in front of her building, Derek couldn't hold back an appreciative whistle. The place looked gorgeous, with Greek columns and carved molding around the doors and windows, the biggest ones being the windows located on the last level of the building. The front door, separate in two equal parts, was made of glass that were protected by some delicate work of iron representing leaves, like you often saw on those front doors from back in the early twenties; it really was a sight and those tiles covering the bottom of the building wall... Derek loved the very gothic but also very modern look of the place, his artist sides already picturing ideas of shoots that could involve this building, he hoped the inside would be as breathtaking as the outside was.

"How did you find this place, it's so beautiful. Do you know what it'd used to be?"

"Some publishing house back in the early 20's, I think. Wait till you see the inside. I found it by sheer luck, honestly. Cyn caught me looking at ads once when she came to The Bud, and told me about this place. Turns out she knew the guy that used to live here before me, she made a few phone calls, we visited it, and next thing I knew I was moving in."

"You forgot to mention you and Cyn were friends." Derek pointed out, his eyes on Cora.

"Yeah, well, I guess it slipped my mind."

"It slipped your mind..." Derek repeated, moving closer to his sister;

"Oh, I know that look! Please Cor, tell me you didn't do what I think you did."

"I didn't! Why don't we go inside? Come on, I'm starving and the Thai place closes early on Sundays."

Derek rolled his eyes, a small growl coming out of his throat, he kept silent until they were in the loft, comfortably put and Cora had ordered in to her favorite Thai restaurant.

 

"Ok, now spill the bill." He said when she came to sit down on the couch next to him.

"Derek..." Cora sighed, she felt trapped, she knew she wouldn't be able to ignore Derek's question, and her brother would never let it go. "You won't let me be, don't you?"

"No! Now talk." Derek answered, looking extremely serious.

"Ok." She sighed. "After the shoot at the zoo, Cyn and I stayed in contact, we starting texting a lot, and one thing leading to another, she invited me to events in the city and we became really good friends, and we still are, then I don't know how it really happened, but after a very late night in town, she proposed to go back to her place because I was too tired to make the trip all the way back here and I don't know, we were comfortable and talking about things, drinking hot chocolate and fresh from showering and we got even closer and next thing I knew we were  sleeping together and that's it. No big deal, really. It happened a few more times after that, but we both agreed to label it as some friendly fuck nothing else and no feelings involved, at all. And I can assure you it won't change anything with how you and Cyn work together. I'm sorry I didn't  tell you, but I didn't  know how and it's not like it was a big deal like I said."

"Oh Cora..." Derek growled, letting his head fall back on the couch. "You're... You're fucking incredible, that's what you are. I can't believe that of all people in New York, it's with my agent you've decided to have your first sex-friends experience."

"Are you angry at me?" She asked in a  small voice , the last thing she wanted was to start fighting with Derek.

"Yes. No. I don't know, maybe. Why do you have to behave so much like Peter? But, alright you're young and want to try new things, and I guess like our dear uncle you couldn't say no to a beautiful woman and Cyn is smocking hot I got to give it to you on that one. But still, it's my fucking agent; I will never be able to look at her the same now."

"Der?"

"What? Oh no, you're not allowed to look at me like that, you  dug  your hole  yourself young miss,  you deal with it ."

"Der-bear..." She pleaded, pouting and coming closer, her eyes sad like those of a Coker.

"Don't call me that... Alright, stop it, I didn't kill your dog for Christ sake, I'm not angry, okay. Just annoyed. Now, stop!"

"Yeah, thanks bro. Love you. Oh do you hear that, the food is here. Be right back."

 

Cora got up to go to collect their order and pay the delivery guy, then came back to the couch, placing the food boxes on the glass table, she said:

 

"I ordered your favs:  _Soupe au Nid D'Hirondelles et Poulet à la citronnelle._ "

"You still can speak French?" Derek exclaimed, surprised.

"I never forgot, after all it's you that taught me that. Like I never forgot how Laura taught me how to fight. That was all I had left to rely on for years, you know, I was alone and thought all of you had died in the fire." Cora answered, a limp in her throat showing how much she was affected by the memories flooding her mind.

"Hey..." Derek said softly, coming to sit closer. Tenderly he took her in his arms. "It's okay, I'm here now."

"I know, sorry, it's just that sometimes..."

"I know! Now, what about we start with that soup."

"Yeah, gonna go get some bowls to pour it in." Few minutes later they were eating their soup, when Cora spoke around her third or fourth spoon of potage. 

"So, what is it, then? You've changed and I can't tell what is it that gave it away. Tell me, what happened?"

Sighing, Derek put his bowl on the table and slide down from the couch to sit on the floor. Collecting his thoughts, he kept quiet a moment.

"After the zoo and coming out to his father, Stiles'...condition started to get worse, the amount of nightmares he was having multiplied, then he experienced frights and hallucinations, panic attacks too, to the point he punched his fist through his bathroom mirror and I had to take him to the hospital to get stitches. It was really bad, he was really bad and I was getting desperate finding a way to help him. I just couldn't support it anymore, you know, seeing him hurt himself like that, the stitches were the last straw and so I searched for the only person I knew could maybe have answers and would know how to help me."

"Who did you..." Cora started to say then came to an abrupt realization; she met Derek's eyes and; "Him. You've contacted him?! After all he's done to your pack?"

"I know, that was what came into my mind at first but then I thought about it, I couldn't go see Peter because I don't trust him enough and Deaton was even worse, he wouldn't have helped at all just talked in fucking riddles. Choosing to go see Deucalion was the best choice I had, really. I left for Blackwood once I found out that's where he's been living since everything happened. He was barely surprised to see me and knew I wasn't there for me but I had to have a really good reason to come see him of all people." 

Cora kept silent, the confusion, anguish written on her brother's face was clear enough for her not to resent him into choosing to contact Deucalion, when it was more than clear to her how Derek must have been really desperate to do so.

"I spent two days there, we  talked about Stiles, about the darkness, he told me about mom and how it was always me he had wanted in his pack more than Scott. Did you know that mom and him used to be very good friends. The more we talked, well more him than me, I mostly listened, the more it went and the more he figured out things. He didn't knew much about the darkness or about a miracle cure to it but he came up with an idea, what if we treated the darkness like we do we pain, cause in a lot of ways it is some kind of pain. I was  skeptic at first, but the thought wouldn't leave my mind, repeating itself on a loop. He then understood how much Stiles means to me, he was able to figure out that if I was so attracted to him it wasn't just because my wolf had recognized the perfect mate in him but because the human side of me had fallen in love with Stiles. Deucalion was speechless, said it wasn't something that happened that often with werewolves. Then he also saw, or felt I don't really know, something else...”

"What?" Cora asked, softly.

"The spark was still there. He said that I didn't  use all of it when I healed you, that part of it was still in me but it was now dormant. He then said it was what we had to work on, that it was the strength necessary I needed to help Stiles. So he trained me, pushed me until I was finally able to reach it and let the alpha roar out of me and be able to control it this time."

Derek kept silent then, waiting for Cora to react but she didn't say anything just let him keep talking.

"I told no one I was going to meet Deucalion, I was too afraid that if it didn't worked out I would have gave false hopes to Stiles and I just couldn't do that. After spending time in Blackwood I drove back to Beacon Hills and went to see Peter. Even if I don't trust him on a lot of things he still is the only person I was comfortable enough to talk to about mating and human/werewolves mate bonds. Surprisingly, he was willing enough to tell me everything about that, and help me understand a lot of the things I was feeling, he even confessed to me that when aunt Amélia died she was pregnant of their baby girl, they would have named her Kindra. And, god, Cora if only you knew how much more guilty I feel of being responsible for our family being killed and for uncle P to have gone crazy to the point he killed Laura. I could never forgive myself about that, it was all my fault."

"Derek, listen to me, it's not. It really isn't your fault that bitch used you, abused of you and killed our family. You were only sixteen, just a kid, and you also were going through the pain of losing Paige. No one can blame you for what happened, I don't blame you. I love you, you're my brother, and I know... I know you would never have let anything happen to our family if that bitch hadn't tricked you into her sick game." Cora said gently, her hand finding her brothers when she sat next to him on the floor.

"You're really an alpha again?" She asked, already knowing what would be the answer but she wanted to hear it from her  brother’s mouth.

"Yes, I am." Derek said, taking in a big breath. "I'm the Hale alpha."

"Okay. Alright. Am I part of your pack?" She asked, a bit afraid that with her choosing to live so far away from Beacon Hills, Derek would have seen that as her choosing to be an omega. She wasn't an omega, she was a beta, would always be one and she hoped she could be Derek's.

"What? Of course, you're pack. You are my pack. How could you even think otherwise? Even if I was just a beta you would still be my pack."

"I... Thanks... I guess." She answered shyly.

"Don't thank me, it's been like that since the moment I saw you in the vault. I lost Laura, I'm not losing you too. Not again."

"Okay. Okay, good.  Let’s eat, the soup is gonna be cold."

Derek smiled and went to grab his bowl.

"You did it, don't you, you and Stiles, you took him as your mate am I right?" She said quietly, looking at the potage in her bowl.

"You are. Stiles is my mate. He's my everything now." Derek admitted, emotion ringing in his voice.

"Well... I knew Stiles and you would end up together sooner or later but I have to admit I never pictured him in being an alpha's mate. But knowing him, though, what else could he really be."

Derek laughed at that, Cora was right, knowing Stiles it really wasn't that surprising that he had revealed himself to be: A. His mate. B. An alpha's mate, of all things. It was so typically Stiles.

 

"So, how was the sex, I bet Stiles is very talented in that field." She teased.

"I'm so not talking to you about that, not even in my weirdest dreams. That's private."

"Okay, okay, oh Grumpy alpha of mine." She said, mocking.

"Shut it and eat your soup."

Cora rolled her eyes at the retort, but then burst into a laugh when she saw Derek was unable to hide a small smile from her. Gosh, she thought, it was so good to have that again, those blessed moments of sharing and bonding they had lack to have for so many years. After, those long months of only talking by phone or Hangouts, there was no words strong enough to express how happy she was to have her brother back with her, even if only for a week.

 

She was there deep in thoughts, Derek going through channels on the TV, when her phone started buzzing on the table. She grabbed it and tried hiding the smile she felt try to paint her lips when she read the quick text. She sent a quick answer and turned her attention on eating and whatever show Derek had selected on the TV. A minute or two later, her phone buzzed again. Again she answered with a small smile.

 

"Who's texting you? Please, tell me  it’s not Cyn and you guys aren't sexting or some weird shit like that!"

 

"What? No, ewww, with you next to me, that's so gross. It's not even Cyn."

 

_***buzz...buzz...*** _

 

"Well, that makes a third text, which means a conversation, who's talking to you. Come on, you can tell me."

 

Cora didn't know what to do for a while, then gave up trying to be discreet, and knowing how Derek could become a real pain in the ass, she decided it was best to just tell him.

 

"It's Lydia. Happy, now?"

"What? Lydia? As in Lydia Martin? Since when are you and Lydia Martin texting each other? Since when are you even on speaking terms?"

"Since a few days only, she texted me first and she's actually pretty nice, in her Dom!Princess way, of course."

"Of course, and the fact that she's also easy on the eyes isn't for nothing in all that."

"Oh shut up, she's nice, what's wrong with texting her."

"Nothing, nothing. I'll just be the witness of your evolving relationship." Derek said, playing with his eyebrows.

"You can be such a dick when you want to." 

"Yeah, well, that's why you love me."

 

_***buzz....buzz...*** _

 

"Now that makes four, what's she's telling you about?" 

"None of your damn fucking business, I don't go around putting my nose in yours and Stiles conversations." 

"No, you'll just wait for me to be out of the room to do so." Derek said matter of factly. 

Cora gaped at her brother, when the hell had he become so... She was so surprised she couldn't even find the right words to describe Derek's smart-ass behavior. She could clearly see Stiles influence, though. Derek really did spoke a lot more than he would have a few months earlier, and it was a warming feeling cause it was almost like she was getting bits of the big brother she had known as a little kid.

Grabbing her phone she took her time to read and answer Lydia's text, glancing every now and then to see if Derek wasn't trying to look over her shoulders. She needed to find a new subject to take off Derek's attention from what was happening with her and Lydia, because Derek was way too smart to not figure out where this new thing she had with the strawberry blond Princess could lead.

"So, you didn't tell me, for what brand are you working?" 

Derek looked at her from the corner of his eyes, smirking,  _(what an asshole, Cora thought),_ and said simply.

"Nice try changing the subject. Some new brand that I know nothing about. Cypher or something, it's a clothing brand." 

" _Cyp-_..? Wait, what? Wait a second, you're doing the photo shoots for CYPER. Derek you have to take me with you, please! I'll do everything, really anything you want, but please take me with you, tell them I'm your assistant or some shit like that, but pleeeease!!!"  

"Cor, I don't know if it's a..." 

"Derek  _Vincent_ Hale, I beg of you, you have to take me with you on set."

"What about your job?"

"Lyla will be totally okay if I take my week, I've been doing lots of extra she can manage without me for a few days."

"I don't know, Cora." Derek said, embarrassed.

"D..." Cora pleaded her Coker eyes back on. “Please”.

Derek knew he wouldn't be able to say no, sad puppy eyes had always been his weakness with his sisters and they knew it, and to be honest that would be a good opportunity for Cora and him to spent more time together and for them to share his passion.

"Alright, alright, you can come but as my assistant Cora, which means you'll have to do what I say, are we clear?"

"Crystal. Oh, I love you. You're the best bro." She shouted with joy, bouncing like a small kid next to him. Derek couldn't hide his smile of seeing her that happy.

"I soo have to tell Lydia." 

"Can I just point out, that if you're already telling her this kind of stuff it means you're screwed?"

"Shut up, it's friends or soon to be friends sharing happy news. Eat your damn chicken and get off my back."

Derek shrugged, mouthing silently  _"you are so screwed"_ and Cora knew somewhere deep down that he was right but she pretended not to care.

* * *

 

"If I'd known coming to the coffee shop would mean me watching you text god knows who, I would have turned you down, Lyds." Stiles said out of boredom and a bit of exasperation. "Who the hell are you even sending texts to?"

"Sorry. It's just Cora." 

"Just Cora..." Stiles repeated, his eyes full of meanings.

"Yeah, we've been talking for a few days now. She was just sharing some good news."

"What good news? Ask her if Derek had a good flight?" 

"Ask him yourself. Apparently, Derek said yes to bring her on set for this job he’s gonna do, she loves that brand of clothing."

"Oh, CYPER, right. Yeah, they're pretty cool. But you and Cora have been talking for a few days and you haven't told me... And how come you know what brand of clothing she likes. Speak now, Martin, I want to know everything." Stiles said, not giving Lydia any other choice than to tell him what he wanted to know.

 


	28. The Voice In The Dark!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read and you'll see.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **And it's here, chapter 28. Read with caution though, it's gonna be mental :-p**   
>  **ENJOY!!!!**

Stiles was bored to death when the heavens heard his prayer for an occupation to do, that occupation turned out to be a text from Lydia asking him,  _(more like ordering, to be honest but, never mind)_ , to accompany her at the coffee shop downtown. It's with a happy smile that he texted a quick  _**'C ya in 30'** _ and went downstairs after quickly changing out of his PJ.

 

“Dad, I'm going to meet Lydia at the coffee shop.” He said to his father, busy watching some game on TV.

“Okay, don't come home too late though, and say hi to Lydia. Oh and bring back some pie.”

“No, pie will kill you.”

“It won't once in a while, so bring back some pie for your old man.”

“See you, dad.”

“That kid, really...” He heard his father grumbled as he was closing the door behind him.

 

Stiles started Roscoe smiling, he felt strangely good, relieved maybe, since he had talk to Lydia about everything that was confusing him. It felt a bit strange to drive Roscoe somewhere else than to school or Derek's loft, when it's something he had been so much lately. Funny how his life he had change since the man had come back in town.

The drive to the coffee shop went quicker than he had thought, and he was not surprised to see that Lydia was already there, waiting in the sunlight, looking amazing like always. Parking, Stiles crossed the street quickly joining Lydia smiling, he cut her off when she was about to complain:

 

"No, I'm not late, I said I'll be here in thirty and made it in twenty. Lets go inside, can't you hear coffee's calling."

 

Lydia shook her head and enter the shop, Stiles holding the door for her. She was glad to see him looking happier than he had been the last time they had met like this.

 

"And what will you guys have?" The barista ask them, the big smile on her lips bringing out her dimples beautifully, Stiles thought she could have enter a contest with Allison, see which one of the two had the 'Dimples Power'.

"A grande chocolate chip Frappucino and black tea in grande too, please."

"Anything else with that?"

"Yeah, we'll have two slices of your pecan pie."

"Okay, coming right up, what name for your order?"

"Stiles."

"Got it, we'll call your name when your order is ready."

"Thanks." Stiles said, paying and then went to sat with Lydia at the table she'd chose by the big window.

 

"So, who were you texting?" Stiles asked Lydia, once sat in front of her. The girl quickly put her phone on the side, trying to look nonchalant doing so. It ticked Stiles' curiosity instantly.

"No one." Lydia simply said. Her heart beating faster for a second.

 

Stiles wanted to retort that he wasn't buying Lydia's lie, but it's that time the barista choose to call his name for their order. Getting up he went to retrieve the plate with their drinks and food. He couldn't ask Lydia who she was really texting, once he was back at their table, the girl being faster than he to ask questions.

 

 

"Any news from Derek?"

"Still none. He'll probably text or call me after sharing some bonding time with Cora, he really missed her a lot even if he didn't tell me."

"How have you been since our last talk, then? Do you plan on talking to him when he comes back?"

"I've been fine, I guess, less...weird with things. I'm not sure how to really bring the subject on the table but yeah I'll definitely'll talk to him about everything."

"Good. Always better than keeping secret." Lydia said, just before her phone buzzed on the table.

Stiles looked at her closely, while the girl read and answer the text, he knew that expression she was wearing, he had seen it enough when she used to receive texts from Jackson.

 

Keeping silent, Stiles started drinking his drink while observing Lydia from where he was sitting, once again he wondered how and when the futile adolescent feelings he had once felt for her had went away, he knew Derek had played a big part in that but not only, if he was being honest with himself his infatuation for Lydia Martin had started to wear off way before Derek'd entered his life. It was strange how people changed, how growing up made them took unexpected directions, he certainly never thought he would be in a serious relationship at the age of seventeen with a man older than he and also not completely human.

 

 

"What are you thinking about?" He heard Lydia ask him over the fumes of her tea.

"Nothing of importance."

"It seemed to be important enough for you to look so serious." She stated gently.

"Yeah, maybe it was. Now tell me, did you already found my birthday gift?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I'll never tell, Stilinski."

"Spoil sport." Stiles grumbled, eating his pie. "Changing subject, did you have news from the twins?"

 

Lydia's shoulders stiffened at the mention of Aiden and Ethan, but took a hold of herself quickly. Still Stiles noticed that even though the girl had told him it was for the best, her breakup with the werewolf touched her more deeply than what she was ready to admit.

 

"A few, seems like they found Deucalion and decided to stay with him for awhile, I still don't know what to think of them being back with that psychopath."

"Wow, that's a surprised, I would have never thought Ethan would agree to be in contact with him again, even lived with the man again. But I guess they might have a reason to go back to him."

"Yeah, maybe." Lydia said absently, just when her phone started to buzz again and she grabbed it to answer the new incoming text.

 

Stiles didn't know if he should be annoyed or pissed to see her constantly texting when she was the one that asked for them to meet. And who the hell was she texting, anyway?

 

"If I'd known coming to the coffee ship would mean me watching you text god knows who, I would have turned you down, Lyds." Stiles said out of boredom and a bit of exasperation. "Who the hell are you even sending texts to?"

"Sorry. It's just Cora."

"Just Cora, huh..." Stiles repeated, his eyes full of meaning.

"Yeah, we've been talking for a few days now. She was just sharing some good news."

"What good news? Ask her if Derek had a good flight?"

"Ask him yourself. Apparently, Derek said yes to bringing her on set for this job is gonna do, she loves that brand of clothing."

"Oh, Cyper, right. Yeah, they're pretty cool. But you and Cora have been talking for a few days and you haven't told me? And how come you know what brand of clothing she likes? Speak now, Martin, I want to know everything." Stiles said, not giving Lydia any other choice than to tell him what he wanted to know.

*

 

 

Back in New York, Derek was glad Cora had decided to say goodnight and go to her bedroom, probably to keep on texting with Lydia.

 

After a long shower, it felt amazing to wash off the airplane stench, he decided to go to bed too, he wanted to be comfortable and warm before calling Sties. He missed his lover and his wolf was yearning to hear the teen's voice. He speed dialed the number he knew by heart and waited for Stiles to pick up after a few rings. He just hoped he wouldn't be waking his lover up, after all it was already eleven in Beacon Hills.

 

"Hallo." Stiles' particular voice suddenly resonated into the receiver end of Derek's phone.

"Hey baby, how are you?" Derek asked, feeling his heart howl a little less for his mate now that he could hear his voice.

"I'm....I'm good, happy I can finally hear you." The younger man answered, but Derek could already tell Stiles' hesitant answer was to cover that something wasn't right.

“I can tell there's something you're not telling me. How are you really, Stiles?” Derek said, preferring to ask than act like nothing was up and not being able to help his boyfriend. He listened as Stiles sighed into the receiver, but he preferred to hear him sigh and maybe try to avoid the subject a little and then finally being able to talk things through with the younger man. A short moment of silence followed then, a moment Derek guessed was necessary for Stiles to make up his mind about talking to him or not.

“You've just arrived in New York, I know you've missed Cora a great deal too, I really don't want to ruin all that for you with my emotions, Derek.” Stiles admitted, sounding like he was both blushing, embarrassed by the situation and yet there was that little something in his voice that told him Stiles really wanted to talk with his boyfriend.

“I'm in this with you for better and worse, Stiles, and that implies being there for you anytime, being opened to talking about everything and anything and that means listening to you talk about your emotions through the phone when I'm miles away and spending time with my baby sister. You will always come first now, I really want you to understand that. Besides, Cora really doesn't know I'm in her loft right now she's been laughing and giggling for at least thirty minutes now … ” Derek told, scowling at his sister’s bedroom door.

“Yeah, tell me about that, Lydia was the same earlier when we went to have coffee. Did you know they’d started talking to each other or even since when do they get along? I feel like I miss a complete year of their  _non-relationship slash relationship_ kind of relationship!”

“I absolutely have no idea, just that Cora seems happy they're in contact now, I haven't heard her giggle like that since she was five or something. I'm glad, Lydia is a good person and Cora needed that.”

“Yeah, Lydia too.” Stiles replied, reflecting on how Lydia had indeed seemed happier when they saw each other earlier.

“And right now my boyfriend needs me too,” Derek said gently in the phone, “so why don't you tell me what's bothering you, huh?”

 

Stiles sighed, he guessed Derek wouldn't let this go, it wasn't that he was complaining about his lover being concerned about him and wanting to hear what was up, it was more that he felt stupid, somehow, for feeling and being like he'd been for awhile now. And maybe, he feared Derek’s reaction to his stupid emotions too.

 

“Stiles, seriously, what's wrong? Your silence is starting to worry me and I can feel you're uneasy from over here. You know you don't have to fear talking to me, right?”

“I know, I know, it's just that I… I feel stupid for feeling like I feel and I don't know…I guess I fear how you might react too and I just… I don't know.” Stiles croaked shyly, feeling like he was suddenly way too overwhelmed by everything bottling up inside him and menacing to explode at any minute now. “I don't even know where to start, Derek…” He finally admitted, in a law voice.

 

Derek said nothing, preferred to let the young man empty his back now that he was started, he got that it was what Stiles needed at the very moment;

 

“I've been feeling off for so long now, you know, with all the crazy that happened and I had no control over things and they just kept happening over and over and over again. And it then got worse but at the same time we happened and you have no idea what being able to breathe again feels like, how conscious it makes you feel about everything other things in life, and that's what happened when we got together. I was so conscious, way more than I’d had been in a very long time. But no matter how happy you made me feel, you  **make** me feel, I know there's still a big part of me that's still so very fucked up, Der. A part that won't stop making me over analyze things and be scared of all the goods because I know there's this lurking darkness waiting in a corner for me and I don't-I don’t know how to deal with!”

 

Stiles fell silent, though Derek could hear him gulp as clearly as if he'd been facing his lover to watch him do so;

 

“How? How do I deal with all this? I'm not strong enough, I know I'm not.”

“Baby, listen to me, you  _**are** _ strong enough, you've proven to me and others how strong you really are, you've got to believe in that. I know it's hard to do so, but don't forget I'm here for all of this too, Stiles. You're my mate and that implies way more than us just being a couple.”

“But how long will you still be with me before you realize you're too tired to be with a deranged human?” Stiles asked abruptly, “I mean, I see things, Derek! So many things, things I can't even describe or understand and yet I'm trying to live a normal life when our lives have nothing to do with normal. I'm surrounded by werewolves, a psychic slash witch and so many other things and in the middle of all that there's us. There's having to deal with how I feel for you, and that's pretty scary because what I feel for you won't stop getting stronger every minute and now we’re somewhere so intimate and important in our relationship, all those changes, in me, in us and everything surrounding us is so real, so fucking tangible that it's making me freak out.” Stiles exclaimed in one breath, a big part of what he had been weighting on his heart now gone relieving him from some of the burden he was carrying.

“I'm sorry I've been so weird lately, after we… But what I felt after, what was happening in my head it was so much to take in, even for me. Lydia told me that lots of people would love to go through something that life changing, and I agree, I get her point but I can't help feeling like something is so wrong with me that I can't stop feeling like I feel after losing my virginity.”

“Do you regret we took that step?” Derek asked softly, his voice sounding nearly serene.

“What? No! No, of course not, Derek. It was perfect and we couldn't have chosen a better moment to do it. I don't regret it, I don't regret anything, it's actually quite the opposite, I feel so blessed and full and happy and scared and some many more things too that I have to completely rewrite my point of view, to learn how to apprehend this whole world outside of us again and I don't know that's leaving me so…”

“Bare?” Derek whispered.

“Yeah....and sensitive. So in tune with things I didn't even realize I could feel before.”

“Baby, didn't it ever occur to you that I could be feeling the same way as you do.”

“You do?” Stiles whispered, taken aback.

“Yes, that's what being mated involves, some of the side effects if you want. You not only open yourself and are in tune with your mate, you also open yourself and become more in tune with everything surrounding you. Of course, for a werewolf it's not the same as for a human, we are born more sensitive to everything else than you are and this is why, once we found our mate and claimed them, it's easier and a bit quicker for us to get back on our feet, it only makes us stronger and that way we can protect our mate better than before.” Derek explained, his voice very peaceful and soothing. “What you are going through is completely normal, Stiles, you just need to let your body and mind do the transition at their own pace.”

“Yeah, my pace has never been great to begin with. I've always been an off pace, ADHD kid, remember?”

“Don't underestimate yourself, it's because you're up pace that you're feeling so confused right now, but that only means it'll make you feel even more better once it's settled and you'll be an even better mate to me.”

“Having this conversation really is making me feel so stupid, I really should have talked to you sooner about all this…”

“You should,” Derek whispered, “and I would have shown you how good being my mate can feel.”

Stiles stayed silent a moment processing everything, a smile on his lips to his mate attempt at seduction when they were having such a…weird conversation.

“I love you.” Was the only thing he replied, his heart a bit lighter now that they'd talked.

Silence followed for a few long minutes Derek listening carefully to his mate’s breathing and heartbeats, he could tell just by those sounds that something was still weighting on Stiles’ mind, “something else is bothering you, isn't it? I can hear it.”

“Of course you would!” Stiles snorted into the phone. Sighing into the receiver he simply said: “it's stupid really, nothing you should worry about.”

“Stiles…” Derek growled slightly in that very special way that always made Stiles cave and confess everything.

“Do you really have to use that tone, I'm already feeling stupid enough, Derek.”

“Yes, I really do, or I know you'll just keep things to yourself and will let them burden your mind until I finally make you spill the bean.”

 

“Wo-would you leave me if someone prettier from your old New York life suddenly came into the picture?” Stiles blurted quickly after a moment of silence, blushing furiously to the stupidity of his question but it was just too much to keep in and he needed to know for sure.

“What? No! What…what makes you think I could do something like that, let alone look at someone other than you, Stiles?” Derek retorted, flabbergasted; “I mean I wouldn't care about anyone else than you even if we were just simply dating, God… I love you, and that means way too much for me to just, like, forget about you for some pretty face or nice words and cheat on you.”

“I know, I-I'm sorry, Der’ but it's just…I just…”

“Don't you get it, Stiles, you're my mate, I made you mine consciously and willingly and the second you said yes and accepted me as yours it made it practically impossible for me to even look at someone and think  _‘oh they're hot’_ , because for me from now on and till the day I die or you decide you've had enough of me and dump me, well, it's you and it will always be you, Stiles, just you. No one else, ever. It's not even an option for me anymore.”

By then the only sound echoing through the receiver was the sniffing Stiles was trying to hide, but he was doing a poor job at it.

“Are you crying? Please, don't cry.” Derek whispered, sounding deeply touch, Stiles’ tears was always something he just couldn't handle that well. “Baby…”

“I-I'm sorry, Der, I…I'm just, I don't know I guess I was so insecure and that made me feel so stupid and miserable for days and I don't know, I think I needed to hear everything you just said, needed it to reassure me that this, all of this, is real and not just something I dreamed about, you know.”

“I get it. But you can rest your heart because this is real, Stiles, nothing has never been more real than you and me and trust me when this isn't about to change, ever.”

“You have no idea how lucky I feel to have you, that you decided to come back and gave us this amazing chance to be together.”

“I just couldn't stay away anymore, you know,” Derek admitted, “I always knew deep down I would someday find my way back to you and I'm glad I did.” It was a truth he had kept inside for too long now.

 

“As much as I would to speak for hours with you, baby, you should go eat something and then get some rest, I can feel how tired you really are.”

_“You can feel…”_ Stiles echoed, it wasn't the first time Derek used those words to refer to him and he knew better than to ask what Derek really meant by that because he knew it was probably the mate bond between them affecting the werewolf in that way. “I should probably go, yes, and you should rest for tomorrow too. Have a good night, Der, I love you.”

“I love you too, call me anytime, okay.”

“I will.” Stiles whispered. “I'm hanging up now or else I won't ever.”

“Alright,” Derek chuckled, “bye baby.”

“Yeah, bye.”

* * *

 

 

_**"Stiles! Stiles!"** _ Whispered the voice, like cold wind grazing his ear.

 

_**"Stiles...Stiles! Stiles..."** _ It echoed again,  _**"wake up Stiles. Stiles... Stiles! Stiles... Time to wake up."** _ That voice, why did he feel like he knew that voice, why did it sound so familiar and yet like it belong to a stranger.  _**"WAKE UP!"** _

 

Startling awake, Stiles felt his heart beat violently in his chest, the fog clouding his mind numbing him way too much to be able to do anything else than try to catch his laborious breath. Closing his eyes he rubbed them till it hurt,  _God,_ was he finally going nuts, but that voice... He knew that voice, felt it in his guts, like it was familiar and he should remember it but he was unable to, he just couldn't. Sighing deeply, he lay back down, his left arm covering his face when it hit him like a violent slap...

 

There behind the black curtains of his closed lids he saw her as clearly as if she was leaning above him. Startled, he sat down quickly, shaking like a leaf, rubbing his face to shake off the feeling that he'd suddenly stepped into another dimension almost like he...

_NO!_ Now wasn't the time to go back there, he just couldn't go back there, not again.

Shivering he tried painfully to slow down his racing heart, his chest now hurting under the violent heartbeats;

 

"Come on, it was just a nightmare, just like every other nights, Stiles. Nothing's changed. Come on, calm down, just breathe slowly."

 

_**"Stiles."** _

 

If the nightmare hadn't left him half frantic what he just heard did. This couldn't be true, he thought, he was still sleeping and dreaming of being startled awake from a very bad nightmare, yeah that was probably just that.

 

_**"I've been trying so hard to reach you know. We all have been."** _

"We? What? No! No, your dreaming, this is just a dream, you're not actually hearing and talking to some..." He mumbled to himself, covering his ears, because this was so unrealistic.

_**"Ghost? I think you can say that's what we are. I prefer the term spirit though."** _

Reaching for the nightstand, feeling around with his right hand to find his phone. He needed to call someone, needed to not be alone right now because it was clear he was going completely crazy and he feared it was about time his father took him to Eichen House.

_**"You should call Lydia, she's the psychic in your group after all, I'm sure at least her will believe what she sees."** _

Speed dialing his best friend number, Stiles didn't wait for her talk before stammering into the receiver, "Please, come to my house now. I need you, Lydia."

"I'm on my way." The girl's sleepy voice answered, then hung up.

Stiles put his phone back on the nightstand and then crawled back on his bed, right in the farthest corner up against the wall, preening his knees to his chest, he buried his head in his arms he'd crossed over his legs, he tried the best he could to forget he was seeing a dead girl in the middle of his room and that she just sighed like a drama queen and decided to just sit down on the opposite corner of his bed, playing lazily with a strand of her long shiny black hair.

_**"I guess I'll have to wait some more, at least Lydia doesn't live at the other end of town. Who would have though, me stuck in Beacon Hills forever? Not I, that's for sure. That makes me so sad, you know, if only there was anything to do remotely interesting in this shit hole, but nah... Always my luck!"** _

"You're just dreaming, you're not at dreaming. This is just a dream, Stiles. Just a dream." He repeated to himself over and over, hands covering his ears, his head down, hidden between his knees so he wouldn't have to see that he was going crazy. That he wasn't really seeing a ghost sitting at the foot of his bed like it was the most normal thing to do.

*

 

When Lydia barged into his bedroom, what seemed like hours later, Stiles really did thought he was about to have a heart attack, and the moment his phone started buzzing violently on his nightstand he knew instantly who was calling and that he would have to come up with a killer lie in the morning and master it so that Derek wouldn't catch that he was lying, because right now... Right now he was just unable to do anything else than look at Lydia with terror in his eyes, looking like a demented person.

 

"Stiles..." The redhead asked gently coming near the bed slowly.

"I think I'm going crazy, Lyds. I..I think you need to take me to Eichen House because I'm starting to see things even when I'm awake, and I.....I..."

"Hey, hey, hush, it's alright Stiles, it's alright." The girl said as she sat down next to him, taking him into her arms, rocking him slowly to calm him down enough so that he could breathe normally again. She was used to his panic attacks enough to know and recognize the signs of an upcoming one. "It's alright, it's alright. I got you now."

"There's the ghost of a dead girl in my room, Lydia!" Stiles said, his words escaping his mouth in a small panicky laugh.

 

_**"Hi..."** _ Laura suddenly exclaimed, nodding at Lydia who she knew had seen her by now. The girl might not believe in her gift really much, but Laura knew before Lydia was used by her psycho uncle that the girl carried it with her, and now was the perfect moment for Lydia to finally come to term with things and finally realize that.

_**"So... Can you see me?"** _ She asked with a smirk, waiting for the pretty girl's reaction.

 

Lydia stood still a moment, still holding onto Stiles, it's only when she felt him start to shake in her arms that she slowly nodded and simply answered:

 

"I can see you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **OMG.....You should have seen your face!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!! Now, I think I can just say.... GOTCHA! Still love me and this story after this chapter?**

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr, for more infos about my work, updates, and so on... you can even leave me messages there if you want, I'll answer them : 
> 
> **My tumblr** : [theshiwolf](http://theshiwolf.tumblr.com/)


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